Red spat out of lips pale as a fish's belly. Hands clutched over a wound that spread with a darker color. There were muffled shouts, so many of them mixed together that one could not be discerned from the other. I looked around, helpless to aid. My eyes were blurring from what, I wasn't sure. I felt sad, but mostly regret. I didn't get to know him better. I wanted to know him so much better. To tell him my secrets, to learn his. To sit and read a book by his side while he sharpened a blade. I found myself crying over the simple need to just wake up in the morning and been able to cook breakfast for him to enjoy.

Those red painted lips, edged with such a pale color pulled into a smile as if everything was fine. I knew it wasn't. No matter what they did Óin couldn't stop that red river. No amount of pressure stopped the spread of the pool under them. The blood reached my feet and no matter what I couldn't stop the sorrowful wail that suddenly escaped my throat. I clutched at my chest with one hand, the other covering my eyes as if my hand could hold in the tears.

I awoke with a start. Breathing heavily I sat up quickly and scanned the sleeping company of Thorin Oakenshield. They were all asleep, all safe. I tried to swallow but my throat and mouth were dry. I reached into my bag and got my water skin, there wasn't much left, but from the look of the sky we would be expecting rain soon. So I drank more than I should.

"Keep throwin' back the water like that and you'll run out." Bofur's playful voice tried to jab at me. "Have another one then?"

I poured some of the water into my hand, a tiny amount, and washed it over my face. I put away my waterskin before getting up and wandering over to the fire that he kept stoked on this particularly cold night. He frowned at me, I could feel it even though I was staring at the fire and not giving him a glance.

"It was a bad one I take it."

I nodded. After the Goblin Cave I had ended up spending a lot more time with Bofur. He was much more agreeable to my fancy than anyone out of the company besides quiet Ori who I would have considerable conversations about books with. I dare say they were my only friends outside of Hobbiton. As such when I started to have... troubled nights and it started to make me weary they had noticed and twice even Thorin himself had noticed. I had dark circles under my eyes which Fíli and Kíli both took to tease me over the bags in conjunction with my last name. I knew it was to try to pull a smile on my face, and some times it did, other times I had just wished to sleep without dreams.

"They seem to be more frequent." Bofur handed me his pipe, packed with new leaf. I shook my head in thanks and just held my hands close to the flames. "Any idea why that might be?"

"No, not really." I moved a hand to run through my tangled hair. "I mean, there are some old stories but I believe it is more of my anxiety of coming to a completion to this quest..."

"I worry for all of us too," Bofur confessed. "Especially the little ones. Barely old enough to leave their mothers' care and here they are."

No more was said, not until Bofur bumped me and took off to sleep. Nori was awoken for the next watch and I held very light conversation with him. In the morning I didn't touch my breakfast. Something about last night's dream-nightmare, made me feel sick. It was midday before I could finally close my eyes. I felt a hand steady me as I bobbed limp on the pony -that we had acquired after finding a small town- just trying to rest. I could hear every step of the pony. Hear everyone with light talk on their lips and it made me feel warm knowing that they were all safe and sound. Even though I didn't talk with each one of them individually and know them through and through, I cared for them. Then I was asleep.

I woke up when a particularly hard bump of my pony shook me. I blinked rapidly looking around before I realized it had not been the pony that had shook me. Strong arms pulled me down from my saddle and I clung onto the neck of whoever was taking me down. It was getting dark already.

"M'sorry." I mumbled. So tired. I needed more sleep.

"You're thinner than last I felt you."

That voice. Thorin?

I looked up and moved my feet to the ground. I stumbled a little. His hand came to my back the same time my hand shot up to grip his sleeve for balance. I rubbed my face with my free hand with an apology mumbled out the best I could manage.

"You have eaten less than a bird's share of the food in the past two weeks. Why?"

"Not hungry." It was a half truth so I was not lying to him, but Thorin was no fool. He grabbed me by my shoulders and forced me to look at him.

"You will eat a proper share tonight Master Baggins."

His eyes seemed so... bright. If I could place two and two together at the moment I would have realized he had been worried, but it wasn't until after I drank dry my waterskin and drained half of Ori's that I caught Thorin's gaze from across the fire. The exact same look. It was kind of him to worry for us all, it made him a better person than most in the world, even by hobbit standards. I was still so thirsty though and when supper had been handed out I found it hard to eat what I could. I had to wait well after everyone had been done eating before I could finish which got me an approving smile from Bombur and rub on the back by Dori when he came to collect my dish.

"It's good to see you trying," Dori said. Which meant everyone had taken notice to my strange behavior and scanning their faces, they had all been worried. I looked down at my hands and smiled. I was blessed to have these friends.

"Tell me," I heard Kíli scooting up to Ori. "Why does one become a scribe?"

Before Dori or Nori could bristle Ori looked up and smiled. He pulled out one of his books and opened up the leather cover and flipped through to a part that Kíli read and pointed excitedly at the book. "That's me!"

"I have to document everything we do. Even if we all die there will still be a part of us that will never be forgotten." Ori said softly, his fingers brushed over the parchment and ink. "I suppose becoming a scribe is just to follow what interests you. This is how I can contribute. I... don't have much battle skills. I can barely swing a hammer and my sling shot is next to useless only providing a decent distraction to most creatures-"

"But you have a fierce aim." Kíli cut him off. "I can teach you archery and then there would be two of us that could do long range."

Ori laughed. "We need a second bow for that."

"Easy enough to do." Kíli scrambled up to his feet, grabbing Ori's hand and pulling him up off of the fallen log they had been sitting on. "We have enough trees around us, I'm sure we can find something we can turn into a bow."

"Stay close to camp!" Dori shouted at them.

"I'll keep an eye on them." Fíli pushed himself off of his bed roll and trekked after the two.

Dori and Nori shared a look before Dori flicked a nod in their direction and Nori got up and silently disappeared in the shadows. Bilbo could do nothing but chuckle. Dori will always be a mother hen and Nori was always going to be overprotective of his little brother.

"Princes or no they best be treating Ori with the best possible intention if you know what I mean." Dori shook a wet dish rag-from where he was doing the dishes-in Thorin's direction. "I won't be havin' his heart broken and his life in danger all at the same time."

"They are old enough to choose their own path."

"And mistakes." Dwalin snorted, most likely taking note of how the two princes tend to get themselves into trouble, but Dori didn't see it that way.

"Excuse me? Are you sayin' that my Ori isn't good enough for a prince?" Dori huffed.

"No!" Dwalin quickly snapped and stood up and walked up to Dori. The two started squabbling like an old married couple complete with Dori rambling while doing the dishes and and Dwalin groaning over the fact that Dori had mistaken his words.

"Here." A water skin was placed in my hands.

I looked up at Thorin who sank down and sat next to me. "Drink as much as you like."

"Thank you." I managed to say before nearly ripping off the stopper and drinking as much as I possibly could hold with out throwing up. I could feel it running down my neck and wet the collar of my shirt. When I pulled it away from my mouth I was gasping for air and blushed. It was so uncivil of me, but I had been so thirsty. I handed it back to Thorin with a sheepish grin while wiping at my mouth. "I appreciate it. Sorry for drinking so much."

He shook his head as he rested the water skin between his legs as he sat cross legged. "You needed it."

There was a long silence between us. Balin had been pulled in the middle of the fight between Dwalin and Dori making Bifur, Bombur, and Bofur laugh as they watched the whole spectacle, even Gloín found it interesting enough to watch while Óin settled in to get an early night's sleep. Gandalf sat to the side and slept himself, looking more tired than usual. Oddly enough, I felt that the source of his lethargy shared a kinship with my own though he was better at hiding it.

"Why are you not sleeping?" Thorin's fingers brushed mine when he leaned back on his hands.

It was an honest question but I did not know how to answer it. Stories. That's all I knew. Old ones in a dark library, buried under the deepest hobbit hole where no one goes except for the elders. Tomes thick as trees shelved with scrolls and leaves of paper stretching down an impossible hallway. The candle sputtering to stay alive as it became hard to breath in the smothering darkness. The old creature hobbling on thin, knobby legs as it rambled by a desk that had wax poured down the sides, candles stabbed into the raw dirt walls to brighten the end of the tunnel. "No, no it won't come. No! It will come."

"Bilbo?"

My pulse leaped in my throat. I laughed and ran my hands through my hair. "Sorry. To answer your question I believe it's just an overactive imagination."

"I am here to listen."

That surprised me. I have not heard him offer that to anyone else. I turned my head, hands still in my hair. He was looking at me, the same way he did when he asked why I had come back to him-them... to... I found myself lost in his eyes. I wish they could laugh, could smile, be touched with joy.

"Perhaps another time." I threaded my fingers together. "May I ask an unusual request?"

Thorin frowned while he leaned forward. He had his usual serious look about him as he considered then said, "I will have to hear it first."

I looked him in the eyes showing my sincerity. "Watch me sleep tonight. Please do not ask why and... and if I think will happen does then I will answer what questions I can in the morning."

He reached over, his fingers brushing across my forehead and trailing to the nape of my neck. He had to be checking for a fever, trying to figure out why I would make such a strange request. Then he nodded. "And if what if you are expecting does not transpire?"

"Then I will look the right fool and you have permission to rub it in my face."

It earned me a smile from him, it even touched his eyes a little. "Fare enough."

That night I rolled my bed roll out next to Thorin's. Ori was sandwiched between two overprotective brothers, Bofur slept using Bombur's stomach as a pillow while Bifur took first watch. Everyone was settled down, even Fíli and Kíli who looked more like a pile of ferrets than dwarrow. I nodded to myself as I took in all that I saw. Everything... everything was as it should be. Safety, quiet or as quiet as one got with snoring dwarrow and the stars above.

I settled down, pulling my arms to my sides and tucking my hands in and used my pack as a pillow. Thorin was watching me already. I blinked sluggishly at him feeling tired already despite how much I slept during the day.

"Goodnight Thorin," I whispered.

He looked at me oddly for this. Then he tilted his head in a would-be nod. "Goodnight... Bilbo."

I watched him, blinked my eyes a few times, then closed them. Right when I felt as if I was falling asleep Thorin moved making me open my eyes once more. A few drops of rain came down before a sheet of it opened up from the sky. I quickly got up and went to grab my back but it wasn't there. My bed roll wasn't there. Not even the company. I...

I turned around trying to see through the dark night and the heavy rain. Why... Why was I alone?

"Thorin?" I called out, taking a few steps as I made sure to look in every direction. "Ori? Bofur?!" No. No, they... they wouldn't have left me alone. So why was I al-... Drag marks. I could barely see them but I could make it out well enough. I tried to be quick, the rain would wash the trail out if I took too much time.

Finally I saw someone. My heart thumped like a drum as I staggered to a stop. Thank you, whoever has been watching over me. By the look it was Fíli that meant Kíli and Thorin were not far away.

"Fíli, why didn't you guys wake me up? It's not nice to play such a... joke..." His body moved funny. Jittery, like he had a peculiar twitch in his shoulder and his body swayed with a limp agitation.

Some part of me already knew, that part that had walked down that long and strange hallway so many years ago. But I refused. I had to. I had no choice but to believe that nothing like what happened to that old hobbit could happen to me. It couldn't. I was promised over and over again that it would not happen.

I let out a choked sound as I stumbled a step forward towards Fíli. "Please... No." I heard my own voice cracking as that pain and sorrow of knowing filled my chest like a heavy weight. It wanted to pull me down into the darkness to drown.

A small creature pulled itself over Fíli's shoulder. I put my hand over my mouth at the sight. It was twisted, thin limbs with a bloated fleshy stomach that waddled like a goblin's pregnant belly. It hissed, climbing up the rope.

"Wake up!"

I was shaken awake by Thorin. I quickly pushed him to the side and ran out of camp, my hand clutched over my mouth. Soon as I was certain I would not vomit on one of my companions I let everything in my cramping stomach to be emptied. I kept throwing up, soon all I could taste was bile and I started to panic. I couldn't breathe.

"Stay calm." Thorin's voice was beside me. His hand rested on my back. "Force your body to relax."

I did as he instructed. Soon as I had air filled my lungs and I let out a nasty rattling cough before I could start catching my breath. All the while Thorin's hand soothed my back. He didn't ask me the obvious question of "are you alright" only stayed silent and allowed me to recuperate. Once I had managed to calm down enough was when he decided to ask.

"What did you dream?" He looked so worried. What had I looked like in my sleep to have made him so worried?

"F.." I pressed the back of my hand to my mouth trying not to throw up again. My chest started to raise up and down, my vision started to darken.

"Force yourself calm, Bilbo." Thorin's hands held my shoulders not tight but sturdy, something I could use to anchor myself to. I locked my gaze with his. "Mimic my breaths."

I did as he instructed and I had managed to relax once again. Thorin gave me a reassuring smile and ran his palm over my head and my panic had subsided by the soothing touch. He did it once more and I realized he must have done this several times with his nephews. It was a side of him I had never seen before. So soft, so caring, perfect for being a loving father.

"What did you see in your dreams?" He asked again, softer in tone.

"I-" my mouth closed shut, my stomach clenched. I could still see Fíli, I could still feel the rain that had never came down and the ghostly touch of seeing that... thing. "F-Ffíli, I-I have to see Fíli."

Thorin didn't question, his face turning stern as he walked me back to camp. Half of the dwarrow had woken up. Fíli and Kíli were awake and had been starting to head into our direction to check on us. Upon seeing the blond I couldn't contain myself. I ran to him. I opened his coat to look at his shoulder. There were protests but I paid it no mind. I had to make sure he was alright. When his shoulder was fine I made sure to check his neck.

"What in the world are you doing?" Kíli asked completely struck by my odd behavior.

I didn't care though. Fíli was okay. He was healthy and held no wounds besides the ones well set in healing. I allowed myself to let out a long breath and clutching onto the blond dwarf's coat leaned my forehead against his chest. His arms slowly encircled me and I pulled him into a tight hug. He didn't know how relieved I was that my nightmare and only be that, a bad dream. I was certain they were all confused and sharing glances and I had no interest in applying a care to how mad I most likely had seemed.

To Be Continued...