Chapter 2

Ed threw his suitcase together lazily, not bothering to fold his clothes. Winry stood at the door with her arms crossed as he finished hurling the last of his items into the beat up wooden case, needing to sit on top of it to buckle it all down.

"Really Ed? Did you even plan this out at all?" Winry looked at him doubtfully. He had packed hardly anything and who knew how long he'd be gone.

Ed shrugged her off and was already heading down the stairs; where his brother was waiting to walk him to the train station.

This is good, maybe they need some space from me. I'm a burden to them. Ed miserably thought to himself.

He looked at his brother's perfect life, his happiness, his alchemy. He barely even used his alchemy and almost took it for granted. Ed felt a twinge of bitterness and jealousy flare up at the thought. It wasn't Al's fault, but it was hard to not get angry sometimes. Hard to act like he was ok.

It'd give Al piece of mind if he thought that Ed was getting help.

Yeah. Getting help. What does that even mean?

Ed sighed as he acknowledged his brother in the doorway, looking away as Al gave Winry a kiss goodbye. Very little was said on the walk to the station, both men were emotionally exhausted from the turmoil of the evening before. Ed in particular was in no mood to talk and made no response when his brother awkwardly attempted to start a conversation.

Al had given up trying to engage Ed til they got to the station. He gulped and looked at his older brother, who seemed to be just a shadow of what he used to be.

"Just don't hate me Ed."

"I don't hate you Al. I'll let you know when I touch base, ok?" Ed said with a weak smile, throwing his coat over his shoulder and embracing his brother briefly before turning away.

Al sat at the station for the next hour, unable to leave until the train departed. He felt miserable sending his brother away, he felt helpless and probably like the worst brother ever. He KNEW in his heart that Ed was just doing this to appease him, cloaking him again in ignorance, trying to protect him. Al didn't need protection anymore; he didn't want his brother to just say he was getting help to ease his mind.

Ed has so many problems, and he won't talk to anyone. If he can't talk to me, how the hell is he going to open up to Mustang?

Al hadn't even realized how hard he was biting his lip. Maybe Mustang can relate to him more now. Maybe someone else is able to get through to him. He thought, barely daring to hope.

Ed's ears perked up as he heard the wheels of a food cart inch closer. "Sir can I offer you any refreshments this evening?"

"A gin and tonic would be great if you would." Ed smiled, sliding her his ID. It felt nice to be able to drink without his brother's judgment on his back constantly. Al didn't drink at all, so Ed's drinking was amplified in his eyes. But really Ed didn't drink that much.

Hell, maybe Al was right. As much as he loved his baby brother it might be easier to be around people that were more familiar with alcohol. Like Mustang, hadn't seen that bastard in awhile. Not since his return from the gate. Even though they were friends at this point he still couldn't resist referring to the new Brigadier-General as 'bastard' at least once per conversation.

Wonder if he'll think I've changed any… Ed mused to himself.

He had grown some the past year, broader and taller, though he didn't eat near as much as he did in his teenage years. His hair was held back in a ponytail and his jaw line was slightly more prominent. Would Mustang notice?

Ed felt slightly nervous at the prospect of seeing his former superior, no less living with him. That's what Al had arranged, and had Mustang willingly agreed to that? Seemed unlikely, but Al was known for some pretty expert guilt trips.

He tipped his glass back further as his nerves picked up. The alcohol warmed his body and put him at ease, his worries, his misery, were all left behind for those glorious temporary moments. When the train came to a slow stop he hopped off, two gin and tonics giving him enough fuel for courage against facing his former superior again but not enough to make him tipsy.

"Ed! Yo boss, ovah here!" A hand grabbed Ed by the shoulders and pulled him in for a brief embrace and slap on the back. Ed grinned, surprised to see the familiar face of Lieutenant Jean Havoc.

"How have you been boss!" Havoc grinned back at the flustered Fullmetal .

"Where's Mustang?" Ed said glancing around.

"You know that doesn't answer my question. Hah, but he's back at the office, he thought you could just wait for him to get back. He's gonna bring food. I just got off work myself and offered to pick you up."

"Alright that works, I guess. Thanks Havoc." Ed said giving a grateful nod to his companion.

"You look way skinny boss." Havoc said glancing at him head to toe . "You must've stopped eating as if you'd never see another meal again."

"Yeah…I guess I grew out of that." Ed smiled but there was no warmth in it. In truth food had stopped being something enjoyable and turned into a chore. Sometimes he had to remind himself he needed to eat.

"So what exactly did my brother say about me?" Ed frowned. "I know he called Mustang and set all this up but I'm not sure what he said."

Havoc frowned in return, they had gotten in the car and were headed towards Mustang's home in Central. "I don't know what he said, the Brigadier General didn't say anything about it. All he said was you were coming to stay and he told us to be available for you should you need anything. Wouldn't answer any of our questions."

Havoc paused contemplating. "Actually, he told us specifically not to ask you- so don't rat me out, but why are you here?"

"I guess I need to 'find myself'." Ed smiled at the stupidity of the saying, a cliché at best.

Havoc failed to see the mockery in the reply and nodded. "Well, we all need to do that at one time or another boss. Anddddd here we are!" Havoc pulled up into a beautiful circle driveway, framed by perfectly trimmed hedges and a fountain in the center. The house itself was impressive and wonderfully simple and elegant.

"Mustang lives HERE?" Ed's mouth was unable to shut.

"Yep. And it's just him too, so plenty of space and guest rooms available for you, Ed!" I'm sure you'll be comfortable here, even if Mustang isn't your favorite person in the world."

"Yah I think I can put up with this." Ed couldn't stop admiring the beauty of the place as Havoc let them in and showed him to his room.

After showing him the kitchen and the library Jean left to let Ed settle in. The guest room was really comfortable albeit sparsely decorated. He flopped down on the bed shutting his eyes briefly as he sunk into the soft down blanket. But soon enough curiosity got the best of him and he left to explore, primarily the library.

Mustang's library was clearly the best room in the house. Beautiful mahogany bookcases, and emerald green couches decorated the room. A large desk sat in the very center with a few books on it. Ed excitedly began browsing the selection but his excitement soon dissipated as he realized nearly all the titles were alchemy related. When he used to read it was always alchemy. It felt like an eternity since he had last picked up a book, but the notion of reading reminded him too much of the days when he read those books for a purpose, when he had a purpose.

He finally found a history book on Amestrian military history, which he browsed through until he heard the door lock click.

"Ed?" Mustang's voice echoed through the largely empty foyer.

Ed walked out to the foyer abandoning his book, turning to face his former superior.

Mustang was still in uniform, this time wearing a cap. He looked largely the same, but maybe older, slightly more tired. But that could've easily been from work Ed thought to himself. Despite it all, Ed was happy to see him.

"Hey there bastard." Ed grinned putting his hands on his hips.

He was expecting some sort of sharp barb, but to his surprise Mustang just stood there, looking at him.

And after a few seconds Ed began to get uncomfortable.

"Ummm…." Ed began to say.

And with that it seemed like Mustang snapped out of it.

"Ed, it's good to see you. How was your train ride?" Mustang's eyes were on the floor, briskly now ruffling through his suitcase but Ed saw a faint tinge of red on his cheeks.

Interesting.

"It was fine, thanks. Also…thank you for having me here. Your house is insane." Ed gestured around the place.

Mustang smiled at the rare praise from his old subordinate. "Of course, don't even mention it Fullmetal. I owe you for it."

"Still Fullmetal eh?" Ed grinned but it soon faded. "Can't really call me that anymore, can you."

"I guess old habits die hard." Mustang replied.

"Yep, they sure do." Ed scowled, remembering the countless times he had clapped his hands together expecting alchemy, but instead was hit with the bitter realization all over again…

"So what exactly did Al tell you about me?" Ed whirled on him, somehow seeing Mustang brought back a lot of that fire he had lacked the past year. Old habits indeed…

Mustang brushed off the attack gracefully. "Why don't we talk about it over dinner."

"And a drink?" Ed said bitterly.

"If you want."

Ed's eyebrows rose in surprise, he expected there to be some sort of intervention upon arrival. Something he would blow off for sure. But if Mustang was going to stay off his back that was more than okay with him.

"Don't look so surprised. You're an adult, and capable of making your own decisions as you've been doing for years."

Regardless, Ed was still suspicious. But he decided to put his 'freedom' to the test tonight with a few drinks, hopefully on Mustang's tab.

"So where are you taking me for dinner? Is this like a date?" Ed smiled at Roy.

Mustang balked at the flirtatious smile. "No-uh just dinner."

Ed just laughed lightly. "I was joking…just so you know."

Roy scowled. Ed had caught him off guard, he needed to get back on his game before he was made to look like even more of a fool. "Of course you were. Pardon I'm just so used to people thinking it's more than dinner."

"Doubt that…" Ed muttered, smile quickly turning into a glare.

They soon left, Ed following the victorious Mustang out the front door and taking the passenger side of the sleek black car.

Even the car is top notch. Ed thought to himself, barely containing how impressed he was by the automobile, noticing how Roy smirked at the open admiration.

"Pretty nice isn't it? Cost a pretty penny though."

Edward scoffed. "Yeah right, who'd you have to blow to get this anyway?"

Roy's mouth dropped open. "I didn't think you could get more vulgar Fullmetal, but you consistently surprise me."

"Oh trust me I'm full of surprises." Ed gave a sly smile at him again.

Roy was immediately flustered. There's that flirtatious smile again. What the hell is going on?

"So are you going to take me some swanky place? After seeing your car and your house I wouldn't be surprised."

"I've seen the way you eat, there's no way those swanky places serve the portions you're looking for." Mustang growled.

"Heh, well let's go somewhere with booze if at all possible." Ed watched Mustang's face to gauge his reaction, but was met with stone.

"Yes of course, most places have alcohol."

"Then we'll talk about what we need to talk about?"

"If you want to, we shall. I'm a man of my word."

"We'll see." Ed grumbled.

They ate at some nice but more modest restaurant, Mustang not missing anything as Ed drank more than he ate, granted Roy had a few cocktails as well, but he was nowhere near Ed's status.

"This place is good. " Ed said smiling. His eyes seemed having trouble focusing but that was the only outward sign that Mustang could notice.

"Yes and now it's time to leave."

"You never talked to me." Ed said defiant. "You said you were a man of your word." It was true, the men had mostly chatted about the office and caught up, both forgetting the more serious conversation for the time being.

"Oh you remembered?" Mustang smiled. "Well yes I was going to talk to you. But if you'd rather it wait…"

"No. I need to know what he thinks of me. What he thinks of his brother." Ed's large golden eyes were set and focused on Roy, demanding answers.

Mustang's brow twitched. He had no idea how Ed was when he got drunk, what if he got unreasonably angry? Maybe this wasn't the best idea. He'd seen people that were entirely different animals once inebriated. And Fullmetal was already an angry enough person without the alcohol…

Guess it was best to take the gentle approach.

"He still loves you Ed, he's just worried about you. He wants you to be happy and… he thinks you're not."

Ed frowned and looked down at the table for what felt like a long time to Roy.

And then the impossible happened. Something Mustang would've sworn he would never see in his life.

Ed started to cry.

A/N :Thanks for reading! And review pleaseee if you could! I love you all :)