The Cliche Prologue to Adventure!

Alright… maybe if I…

*THUD!*

… Nope, that doesn't work…

"Maybe if you hit your head off it it will work, after all the both of you are pretty HARDHEADED!"

"Hey! I don't want to hear that from the girl who got us in this situation to begin with!"

"ME?! YOU'RE the one who did THIS to me!"

"And who was the one who thought it would be OH SO funny to make me go through this surprisingly original setup for a martial arts training skill, if you had just TOLD me what the heck was with this shit, then we wouldn't be in this situation, WOULD WE?!"

"Well you should have been SMARTER!"

"Where the HELL have you been these last few days, I think I distinctly remember I promised to just be stupid from now on and charge into things, where was your 'oh so pwecious' info market THEN?!"

"Y-you BIG BREASTED BLOCKHEADED BASTARD!"

"AH! So jealously raises it's ugly head, what do you think it means when somebody is JEALOUS of a GUY over the size of his RACK!"

I suddenly felt a weight slam into me and we found ourselves rolling over each other, clawing at each others faces.

"BITCH!"

"FUCKING ASSHOLE!

"WASHBOARD!"

"TRANSVESTITE!"

"SPLAT FACE!"

"NARCISSIST!"

Eventually, I managed to pin her arms down and we looked into each others eyes, not NEARLY as romantic as you think, as we had the eyes of bloody murder.

On my face was the clear image of three whiskers across my my cheeks, I didn't need a mirror to know that. On Argo however, I had managed to loop her own whiskers all around her cheeks, write several words like 'RATTY' and 'I LIKE MONEY' and finished it off with a raccoon makeup job around her eyes.

Sure enough, it was hilarious, but the novelty could not be appreciated with no one else but myself to see.

As we sat there, we both breathed out a large amount of suppressed air and were not calmer.

"Okay… I admit I was a little, impulsive, when I was using the paint."

"... And I admit that I was not doing myself many favors enjoying your blight."

"... So we both agree that this is BOTH of our faults, for not being smart, and not being nice?"

"... Yes, I agree."

"Good."

"Good."

We then stayed quiet for several seconds.

"So… are you going to get off me anytime soon? Because I don't swing this way."

"Oh, so you DO like girls, I would have never-

"You FINE well know what I mean, and your over-sized chest is crushing me."

I pushed off with my hands in a peaceful gesture and offered my hand to the downed Argo, she took my hand with slight reluctance and I pulled her up.

"You know, I wasn't doing it out of TOTAL spite…" Argo said as she brushed herself off, her expression hard to tell with the varying shapes on her skin, "You are one of the strongest characters out there, you would have been able to get out soon."

I shrugged and pointed to the rock, "I haven't made a DENT into this, and it's been a day."

"It works off how many times you hit it, eventually you would have been able to split it, it would have taken too long for me." She pointed to her face and an immediate frown set in place, "THIS however, is NOT good, I have places to BE and people will want me there when they need some indepth info on the second floor, that's not counting the Floor Boss who is on this level, I need to write out his description into the strategy guide."

"And with all that weight on your shoulders, you can't go into down and get started? Damn appearance?"

"LOOK! I had a DISTINCTIVE look about me for players to recognition me when spoken about, and also I had a LOT of respect with it, if I come to a face-to-face meeting looking like THIS, I will lose ANY credibility as a info broker." She slapped her face into her hand angrily, "And for some strange reason the old man here is linking me with YOUR success on breaking the boulder, so you need to break it NOW!"

"I can't just keep on rapidly punching it again all the time, you lose three HP each time you hit it not much but it adds up over time. I need to wait for it to regenerate or I could, you know, DIE!"

I pointed towards the ground, "I don't want to end up on that big slab of updating tombstone with the epitaph of 'Died punching a rock', I'll roll in my grave!"

"URRRRGRGGGGG!" She threw her hands up in exasperation and sat down on the ground, her hands coming around her torso in a sort of pouting gesture.

We stayed like this for a few seconds, and I started feeling guilty.

AHHHHH fuck no, you have done the ONE THING I actually support and your feeling GUILTY, shit asshole, you always seem to put a damper on an pretty fucking funny situation.

Shut up voice, don't have brain cells to sacrifice for your continued presence.

I sat down with her and stared out over the mountain, it was pretty high up, and we could see for miles in every direction…

"... You know, with these whiskers I could probably fill in for you."

I felt her shift and I was sure she was looking at me.

"Just imagine it, I could put on a hood, dye my hair, maybe crouch a little, and then I could be 'I'm Argo! Pleased to meet you!'"

I heard a short snort from my right.

"And is they are like 'Her, you look kinda different' I could draw their attention away by squeezing the two over-sized airbags on my chest, that's sure to divert their train of thought."

Argo then released a giggle, a sharp contrast to the mocking and rather slimeball laughter I was familiar with.

"... I'm sorry, I guess it isn't easy to be you."

"... Buy me a meal when we get back and I'll call it even."

"... Deal." I extended a hand and we shook on it.

I then stood up and worked my arm a little, "Alright, that bouldier isn't going to crack itself, time to get back to work."

I walked up to the stone surface and proceeded to rain punches on the thing, up until I had little health again, and rested.

It was going to be a long day…

"So… seriously, what IS with the breast envy?"

"... You can guess by yourself."

I rolled my eyes and put in one more punch into the thing and turned to her, "I can probably guess that you're jealous of them, didn't you JUST hear me say 'Breast envy'?"

"It's nothing."

"... Ohhhh, has this got something to do what your OLD avatar used to look like."

"... When the Beta was first out, it didn't have a range of customization options, only changing basic structure of the face and slight alterations to the body, and of course, rather G-rated to not scare of kids."

"Ah, so then having all of those adjustments and then having them yanked away…"

"Was rather frustrating, yes."

"Hmm, well I suppose I can't blame you, I afterall chose big breasts on this body myself."

"Yes, but you're you, for a girl it's basically admitting that you're… lacking."

"Hmm, kind of like wearing padding, it's kind of sad."

"Seriously are you a guy or girl?"

"I watch enough anime to get an idea, you guys have little in the way of PG in a number of shows."

She sighed and sat up again, "I think I'm misjudging how long it could take with that thing, I had been at it for days and I never managed to break it myself… it is actually what led to me just leaving the mountain and taking up my namesake."

"Well, no offense to your motif, but I would not like to be known as your protege. Otherwise I might be chased around town by wannabe ninjas and get into situations like THIS."

"Yeah, I don't think so, I mean, you, my protege?" She smirked wickedly.

"Shut it splat face, or I will turn my boulder bashing skills on you."

"Oh I'm so scared, of your nonexistence boulder bashing skills." She dramatically points out the obstacle to our embarrassment free escape.

"If this took elements from Skyrim, we could stab the NPC and just steal the damn paint remover…"

"... That's… kind of dark you know?"

"Hmm? Their just computer programs aren't they? Pretty advanced but-

"Still… do you honestly think you can stab something with a human face?"

I stared at the serious expression on her face, I felt myself driven in the corner with that very line.

"I… well, I suppose you have a point there…" I scratched my head nervously, "I guess killing an NPC here of all places… so realistic… would it make it easier to kill for real?" I gulped at the possibility, killing NPC's was easy when it was stupid looking wax models and modeled slightly off human expressions, but here, everything looked so alive…

My eyes drift slightly as I take in the idea, the grassy kills came into focus and-

I blinked, and refocused my eyes.

"... Uh, Argo?"

"What?"

"Is there anything else you're hiding from me about this place?"

"Well, for that you-

"Seriously, yes or no?"

She shifted slightly, after a few seconds of silence I frowned and looked-

WHOA!

I pulled back quickly as she quickly invaded my private space and started looking in the same direction I was.

What? You're getting embarrassed over a girl with her height and body shape? I didn't take you for a pervert.

Shut the hell up you bastard, she just surprised me.

Yeah, keep telling yourself then pervert.

"... Oh my… that is certainly interesting."

"You don't think… I mean even for a secluded martial artist in the mountains this is kind of, cliche?"

"Maybe, but this is a game, I wouldn't be surprised if they recycled a few ideas." She brought up her inventory and a book tumbled out, along with a quill, "I think I should keep a reference of this for a potential-

"Oh no you don't!" I called out suddenly, she paused and looked my way, "Are you honestly selling this information?"

"...Well, yes, after all this is a rare-

"A rare find, connected to a place you want to keep secret." I interrupt pointedly, "Think about it, if you try to hint this info to people, they will know of this place, and before you know it, there is going to be a 'Argo the Rat' likeness painted across the game."

She reluctantly nodded in agreement, "So… what are we supposed to do with-

"I'll tell we what to do, follow another cliche, the wise old man on top of a mountain that gives you advice on how to proceed on a destined quest of inner strength and blah blah blah, lets just get going." I stood up and made my way to the hut, where Argo followed not a moment later.

…

"And so… once you find your way to the cave of Ungel, you shall then face the final trial, one of fire and brimstone that shall test your skill. If you conquer this trial, only then shall you find your prize. The hallowed artifact of Nurexia"

"... This is cliche, this is so cliche that I'm seriously stumped here."

"Hey, you said it yourself, this is a game, recycling stuff is almost guaranteed." I stretched my neck and worked out my imaginary muscles, "I say, we find this so called hallowed item of whatever and split profit on how much it's worth."

"Hmm… what if it's a Quest item?"

"Then we decide on who keeps it, and go on that quest another time," I walked out the door. "But first, I need to crush that damn boulder."

*If you were wondering what was happening back with Lucian*

Lucian, otherwise known as Robert, looked up when he got a message, and opened iit up once he saw it was from Daniel.

It read as followed.

Hey… Lucian, you know how you said to keep out of trouble?

He got that far, and face-palmed.