This is my Hellsing oneshots, right here. If you really, really like the oneshot, I might try and extend it a little. So, I figured it was pretty much inevitable that Jackal would have to go to school; I thought this a little after I came up with him.

HELLSING CATS 2 and later!

Jackal Day Care:

Zara's POV:

"He'll be fine." I said calmly, watching the bus with Jackal on it drive away. Alucard nodded. "Yes. He'll be fine." I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. "Perfectly alright. No worries. He'll do great." He sighed in annoyance. "Yes. He'll be perfectly alright and do wonderfully. No worries, no worries at all." I nodded in satisfaction and looked back at the bus. "But what if he's not?" Alucard said suddenly, with a tone of great worry. I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Alucard, he's not going into a war zone. Millions of kids do the same thing. Chill out."

He growled, pacing back and forth. "He's not millions of kids, he's my kid. As such, he is constantly at risk." I rolled my eyes. "You're being paranoid and delusional. Calm down, take a deep breath, and yes, I know you don't need to breath, but it will help you calm down." He inhaled deeply, and then exhaled. "I just worry about him, that's all." He said, staring off to the point where the bus had disappeared. I took his hand. "That's my job. Stop stealing my thunder." I said, nuzzling into his shoulder. He reacted immediately, sliding an arm around my waist and kissing the top of my forehead. I was still awkward and iffy about obvious displays of affection, but I knew he liked it.

"Calm down…" I muttered into his chest as he stroked my hair. His whole body was relaxing from his previous tenseness into a wary, but still better, waiting mode. He sighed deeply. "Much better. Why aren't you worried?" I giggled. "He's your kid. Anyone trying to kidnap him would be facing down the prospect of one hellishly pissed vampire, not to mention his mom as well. Even Maxwell would have taken a deep breath and let the thought pass. Probably." He chuckled. "I would much rather face an army than Jackal's mother when she's angry."

"Aww, do I scare you that much?" I said playfully, beaming at him. He shrugged, smirking down at me. "No, but I've never seen you angry before." I raised an eyebrow. "Jackal's kidnapping?"

"You were on the edge of sanity, you weren't angry."

"When I was memory wiped?"

"Afraid and confused."

"Grrrr. Millennium?"

"I'd say…peeved."

"PEEVED!?"

"Yes…" He smirked.

"WHAT ABOUT NOW!?"

"Hmm…I'd have to say…upset." Any further comments were drowned out as I chased him into the Manor, screaming and occasionally raking his back with shape-shifted nails. I chased him down into the basement, passing an amused Techno, a confused Seras, and an annoyed Integra. When I got to his room he turned the tables on me and swung me into his coffin, landing on top of me and closing the lid. He let me take my temper out on him for about an hour before it got to be too tiring and I was falling asleep on his shoulder. "I…hate you…" I said drowsily, and he chuckled.

Jackal's POV:

I sat on the edge of the seat nervously, watching the other kids take off their hats. Mine was still on my head, an itchy black wool one. "Please remove your hat." The teacher said, pointing to me. I silently got out of my seat and handed her the note mommy had written for me. She read it over as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. My tail hurts… "Never mind." The teacher said smoothly, and I breathed out a sigh of relief. The kid on my right nudged me sharply. "Why do you get to wear a hat!" he hissed, and I shrugged. "Mommy said I needed it." I whispered back, pointing to the teacher. "Alright, now repeat after me, A, B, C, D…"

She went through the whole alphabet, with the kids all singing along. I didn't bother, because I had already learned how to read, a little. Before long, the teacher made us get out our crayons and draw our parents for our memory week. I paused, wondering if I should draw mommy or daddy. Umm... "Jackal, why are you hesitating?" the teacher's voice snapped right above me. "I can't decide to draw my mom or my dad." I said softly, staring at the paper. She sighed. "Try drawing your father." I squinted, trying to decide how to draw daddy. Oh! I know! I stuck my tongue out, scribbling rapidly on the paper.

Zara's POV:

"What?" I said wearily, praying Alucard was still asleep. My cell phone had started ringing seconds after I had woken up, and I had managed to get to it before Alucard could wake up and probably crush it to pieces for interrupting his cuddle-time with me. "Your husband…is he alright?" the teacher's voice said shakily at the other end, and I blinked. HUSBAND!? Oh wait, she means Alucard…no, not yet…no mam, I'm not married to the father of my son, he's waiting until I'm older…yes, he's actually a several centuries old vampire…no, I'm not crazy… "What do you mean?" I said grumpily. "Your son has drawn quite the…portrait…of him, and he says he's doing his job." She said tremulously, and I cursed Alucard.

Damn him, he showed Jackal the mission tapes. "Sorry about that." I said in embarrassment. "He's a guard for quite an important official, but when he gets home he plays a lot of those new games, the blood and the violence and such, you know how it is…" She sighed, and her voice sounded much more relieved when she began talking again. "Yes, sorry for disturbing you." I shook my head. "No, not at all. Please, call me any time there's a problem." She hung up and I put my phone back in its pocket. I tapped Alucard on the skull meaningfully. "Knock, knock batboy."

He growled, opening one eye. "What?" I smiled at him sweetly. "And just when were you planning to tell me that you had showed Jackal some of your case files?" I said in my most sugary voice. He swallowed. "Umm…now?" He said weakly, and I glared at him. "My patience batboy. It's going tick tock tick tock tick tock." He frowned. "How did you know about that!" I traced a circle on the fabric of his shoulder. "His teacher called and said he had drawn a very interesting portrait of someone we know, and asked if "something was wrong with him". Explain. Now." He grinned. "Seems like you have the whole problem summed up. I'm a horrible husband." I growled.

"No, you're not, because you aren't my husband yet." He sighed, his hands suddenly moving to just below my ribs, under my shirt. "But I want to be your husband now." He whispered in my ear, rubbing small circles into my bare skin. "I don't want to wait." I took in a deep shuddering breath. Damn him for being so good looking and knowing exactly how to unsettle me. "Look, I'm not exactly against the idea myself, but we should wait. I'll be even more of a target than I already am if I'm your…wife…" I gulped at the word. It just seems so weird saying that when it pertains to me and him. He growled. "You're stalling." I shook my head rapidly. "Am not! It's just…I can't cope with that kind of deal…oh fine, just look." I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood and kissed him hard.

I focused on my insecurity over this whole issue, leaving my mind bare to him. He sucked at my lip hungrily, absorbing my thoughts along with the red liquid. I pulled back when the wound was healed. He growled in protest, but let me go. "See now?" I said uncomfortably, shifting on top of him. He sighed. "Sadly, yes. Do you have to be so centered on…reality?" I sighed. "Do you have to bring sanity into it?" he grinned. "Yes. Or my lack thereof." I snuggled into him, glad he got my point. He rumbled happily and nuzzled my neck as I fell asleep for the second time that day.

Jackal's POV:

The teacher told me after calling mommy that I needed to draw something without any blood in it. I shrugged and drew mommy cuddling with me, reading to me like she sometimes did when there weren't any missions. The person who had poked me earlier looked over my shoulder. "Is that your big sister?" he said curiously. I shook my head. "No, that's mommy. She reads to me sometimes, when she's not busy with missions." He stared at me. "Missions? Is she like a cop or something?" I started to shake my head, then paused. "Umm, yeah, kinda." He blinked. "Cool." I nodded, coloring mommy's favorite book in. the rest of the day passed in a blur, until it was time for mommy to pick me up.

She elbowed her way through all the other kids, picking me up and rubbing my hat around where my ears were. "Hey buddy! How was your first day?" she said cheerfully, and I shrugged. "It was okay, I made some new friends, and they taught us the ABCs and stuff." The teacher walked up next to us. "Oh, hello. Are you Jackal's big sister?" mommy shook her head. "I'm his mom." The teacher blinked, looking mommy over. "Umm…alright… Oh, I wanted to congratulate you. Your son is quite the young artist." She held up the picture I had drawn of mommy.

Zara's POV:

My first thought was: Wow, he is a really good artist. My second was: DAMN YOU ALUCARD! You didn't just show him the mission tapes, you showed him the classified ones? Alucard was blasting his way through what looked like a SWAT team, grinning maniacally. Jackal had even drawn blood splatters on his jacket front and face. The Jackal was smoking, and the person in front of it was missing most of his upper half, which looked to be pasted across the wall and ceiling to his left. Figures that any kid of Alucard's would not only know how to draw blood spatters with crayon, he'd know how a body would spread after impact and draw it correctly. I sighed, shaking my head.

"Yes, thank you." I said, taking it out of her hand. She waved us out the door, and we sat down in the car Integra had sent for us. Jackal immediately whipped of his cap, cat ears twitching madly. He scratched them with one hand, then sighed in relief. "Much better." His tail snaked out of his shirt, and he waved it a few times. "Why do I have to go to a school full of humans anyway?" I flicked open the school newsletter and began reading. "Because the interaction with normal, sane people will do you good." He yelped. "We have normal, sane people at Hellsing!" I snorted. "Who?"

He opened his mouth to reply, then shut it. "Well, we have…umm…there's…" he sat in thought for a moment as we pulled out of the parking lot. "SIR HELLSING! She's normal and sane." He shouted, as if proving a point. "Never tell her what I'm about to say. Integra, while a natural leader, has problems. She wears a men's suit at almost all times, smokes constantly, and was in essence raised by your father, who we both know has far too many mental problems to count." I said, closing the letter. He sighed. "Yeah I guess…" I nodded in satisfaction.

The rest of the car ride was silent, and we pulled into the Hellsing driveway without a word. "Thank you." I said to the driver as we exited and walked up the steps. The doors opened for us, and I saw Integra waiting in the entrance hall, looking extremely tetchy. "Umm…I didn't do it?" I said warily, waiting for a chance to flee. She scowled. "I was not aware Jackal was being sent to school." I swallowed. "Umm…blame Alucard?" I said weakly, backing away towards the basement. I certainly will, the jerk. She advanced, waving a piece of paper at me. "His teacher sent for a psychologist, and was only stopped because you assured her his father was a video game enthusiast. I am not happy." I gulped. "Umm…" She took a deep breath. "Just what do you suggest I do for your punishment? Jackal will still be attending school, with a few changes."

I shrugged helplessly. "I have an idea." A voice said as Alucard melted through the wall. I closed my eyes and prayed silently. What have I ever done to deserve this? He whispered something in Integra's ear, and she raised an eyebrow. I started sweating inconspicuously, at least I hoped it was. Oh crap, crap, crap, crap- "I agree." She said firmly, looking directly at me. I gulped. "What?" he smirked, and Integra quickly walked away. "Nothing!" she called over her shoulder, and I could have sworn she was blushing. Jackal tugged at Alucard's jacket. "What'd you say daddy?" he ruffled his hair. "Nothing. Run along, I have to talk to mommy."

He sighed and ran towards where the mercenaries lived, and I was alone with Alucard. I smiled gingerly and waved. "H-hi?" I stammered, not liking where this was going. He grabbed my arm. "Come." He yanked me right through the wall, me shouting protests the whole way.

3rd person POV:

Integra sighed, hearing the yells issuing from the basement. I pity her sometimes, Alucard can be quite the frustrating one when he wants to be. She shook her head and began writing out her formal apologies to the teacher of Jackal's school. If anyone can handle him, she can. I wonder if I should seem puzzled or annoyed when I write about his work problems here… In the deepest parts of the Hellsing basement, a certain teenager was in whole hearted agreement with Integra, at least partly. I don't care if it takes me my entire life, I will get him back for this. He's such a jerk!

She scowled at Alucard, who was lounging on his chair, grinning. "Well?" She growled, folding her arms over the thin fabric of her dress. His smirk broadened. "Turn." She sighed and whipped around, spinning so fast her hair was a blur. She skidded to a halt, flushed and smirking as well. His smirk had disappeared. "Slower." He said in annoyance. She moaned in defeat and slowly spun, showing him how the contours of the dress moved with her. His smirk returned, seeing exactly how much (or how little) the dress covered. "Happy now?" she asked irritably, putting a hand on her hip. He shook his head slowly, grinning. "All of them. You did a very bad thing, going behind Integra's back like that. You need to try on all of them."

She groaned and slouched over to a different room, slipping the straps of the dress off her shoulders. At least he has the dignity not to watch when I'm changing. Alucard watched her go, smugly congratulating himself. I may have been a little too concerned over Jackal, but this is an excellent way to take revenge for the idea. She should have known better than to worry me. His face softened when she slouched into the room again, in a blood red evening gown, grumbling to herself softly. She is growing up, slowly, but she is still going. Will she ever be old enough to satisfy her foolish idea of maturity? She stared at him grumpily, waiting for his analysis. "Well?" she sighed, tapping a foot.

He stood up, wrapping his arms around her. "Indescribable." He purred, massaging her back. She moaned, caught off guard, and leaned into him. Then she hissed, leaning back away from him. "Making me dress up is bad enough batboy. Stop making moves as well." He sighed. She's hiding herself again. She wants me, but she doesn't know how to deal with her want. I can feel her confusion. "Stop calling me that." He said in annoyance, lifting her up and placing her in his lap as he sat back down on his chair. She wiggled on him, turning around. "Stop calling me kitten then." She watched him roll his eyes, wondering to herself how it would be like if they did get married.

It…it wouldn't be that bad, would it? But…to be that restrained…I just don't know…I wish I could make a decision! I…I do care for him, and he cares for me…but how practical would it be, me marrying someone who would live hundreds of years after I'm gone? It's all so confusing… She nuzzled into his shoulder, humming softly to herself. "Stop it." He growled, startling her out of her thoughts. "But I thought you liked it?" she said in confusion. He nodded. "Not that. You have your thinking face on, and you're humming to yourself. You only do that when you're unhappy with something and trying to figure it out." She sighed. "Stop knowing me so well." She muttered into his shoulder.

Aww, they're so cute together. I got another one shot all ready for you people; it just needs the approval from someone I PMed. I used their penname in it, and I don't want to offend people. Review, Request, and that's an important one for these stories, because I won't be doing anything with it if you don't, Rcomment. Auf Wedersien!

PS: I did say it would be very slow updates, because I'll be working on my Soul Eater fanfic mainly, so don't look for it every day.