This idea to this story has been in my mind for some time now. It should have been a much shorter story, but after I started writing, it went a little out of my hands. It didn't exactly turn out as I had imagined it, but I hope you can enjoy it. Please read and review. I appreciate constructive criticism.

Disclaimer: I don't own Blue Bloods.

„Danny! Sometimes you really make me wish that I were an only child. At least I wouldn't have older siblings always picking on me and constantly finding something to object to what I do or what I say, or telling me what I should do better and how. In fact, Danny, is your goal in life actually making mine terrible? I'm tired of all this. "

In this exact moment they reached a red light and Jamie stormed out of Danny's car, without waiting for his brother's reaction. He was fuming. Danny had been impossible the whole week, probably also due to a case he had been working. When children were involved, Danny took it always personally. But why was he apparently the only one having to suffer through Danny's bad moods? That wasn't fair.

"Hey, where are you going? I was giving you a lift home." Danny shouted through the open car window.

"I'll walk!"

Jamie shouted back, not even bothering to look back at Danny, so he missed his brother's very confused and shocked expression. He was already out of sight when Danny started to hit the wheel over and over again with his fist.

Danny hadn't moved from the very spot where Jamie had got out of the car, until he heard a cacophony of car horns behind him. He started the car and drove home. His mind was in a sort of vacuum and he did not really pay attention to the traffic around him. It was a near miracle that he made it home without running over some pedestrians or causing an accident.

When he finally arrived, he parked his car in his driveway but didn't get out of it. He remained seated and tried to sort out his thoughts and feelings. He had just closed a case of child abuse. Seeing what that man had done to that poor kid, had made him feel sick. But he had been able to arrest the bastard. His boss, however, hadn't been very happy of the way he had closed the case. It had been a 'Danny Reagan closure', as he had pointed it out, which meant, not really by the book. And then today while he was driving Jamie home, Jamie was telling him about an arrest he had made earlier that day where he had had to stop his new partner from doing something not by the book which could have caused the perp to get free afterwards.

Jamie had hardly finished his sentence, when Danny's anger which had built up during the whole week exploded. Hearing what Jamie had told about the mistake of his new partner, had given Danny the impression that Jamie was shoving Danny's own mistakes under his nose. So he accused him not to work like a real cop. He shouted angrily at him that sometimes in order to get things done, it was not always possible to have the job done by the book. That if he wanted to work by the book, he should have kept his first career choice, being a lawyer. He even said that working the way he did made him a liability to the other cops. He hadn't realized how violent his outburst had been until Jamie had shouted at him that he would have preferred to be an only child and had stormed out of the car.

Thinking of it, Jamie was surely not speaking about his mistake. How could he? He had no idea that he had closed the case in a 'Danny Reagan way'. And this whole 'you should have become a lawyer and not a cop' argument, was not really what he thought about Jamie; at least not anymore. The kid had proven to be a good cop, an excellent cop even; sometimes better than himself. At least with Jamie perps would not risk to have to be set free again due to a mistake done by a cop; the same could not be said about him. He was still worried that because of his 'Danny Reagan closure' that child molester could get free without charges. That thought made him feel sick again. Probably this was the real reason he had reacted so violently to Jamie's remark. He was angry, very angry, but not at Jamie, he was furious at himself.

The problem was that he had taken it out on Jamie, his kid brother, again, but this time he had really exaggerated. Danny was leaning his head on the steering wheel. He started to hit the wheel with his head, first mildly, then harder and harder, until he heard a timid knocking on the car window. He slowly looked up and saw into Jack's wide eyes. Danny sighed and got out of the car.

"Dad? Are you okay?" asked Jack, worry clearly in his voice.

"Yeah, kid, everything is okay. Dad had a difficult week but now it's over. Come, let's go inside and see what mom has prepared for dinner."

During dinner he hardly spoke a word and replied to questions only in monosyllables. After having sent the boys to watch TV, Linda approached him.

"What happened Danny? Something is clearly bothering you," she asked him very concerned.

Danny looked up at her, with a tormented expression. "I screwed it up, I really did."

"At work?"

"Not only. Also with Jamie. I was furious at myself and I took it out on him. Today he stormed out of my car telling me that he would have preferred not having me as a brother." Danny laughed bitterly. "And I can't even blame him for that; I wouldn't want me as a brother, either."

"Danny, have you tried to call him afterwards in order to apologize?"

"No." Danny paused. "I hadn't the courage yet. He must be really mad at me. I actually hurt him, Linda. Why? Why could I not keep my mouth shut?"

Linda looked him into his eyes and was touched and worried to see that Danny, her strong Danny, her rock, had watery eyes.

She asked him softly: "Why don't you call him now? He probably calmed down in the meantime. Your brother doesn't normally hold a grudge."

She smiled at him encouragingly. Danny looked doubtful for a moment, but then he took his phone and walked into the living room. He came back to the kitchen a few minutes later, looking upset.

"He didn't pick up. After a few rings it went to voicemail. I hung up; I can't speak about this on a voicemail."

"Maybe he was busy and could not reply", Linda offered. "Look, in two days you'll see him at Sunday dinner. Latest by then you'll be able to speak to him and tell him how much you're sorry."

Danny didn't look very confident about that but he nodded and made an attempt of a smile to Linda. She always knew how to calm him down. But she could not sort out his mess, he needed to do it all by himself.

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Saturday late afternoon, Linda called Danny on his cell.

"Danny, Erin called, she's submerged in work and therefore she needs you to go and get the meat she has ordered for Sunday dinner at the butcher shop. It's Leonard's market on the 2nd avenue."

"Aren't there any butchers in Brooklyn? Why did she order the meat in Manhattan? And why can't Jamie go? He lives in Manhattan."

Linda paused for a moment. She knew that Danny would not like the reply.

"Erin has already tried with him but Jamie won't make it to Sunday dinner as he has taken an extra tour."

Danny did not reply immediately. Linda heard him sigh. He asked softly:

"He won't come to Sunday dinner?"

"No, Danny, he'll be working. I'm sorry. I know you wanted to talk to him. Maybe you try calling him later today."

"Yeah, I will."

"Will you pick up the meat?"

"With Jack we are nearly done with the shopping for his school camp week. We will make a little detour and we'll pick up also the meat. Don't worry. I won't forget it."

"Thank you Danny. See you later. I love you."

"I love you too."

Danny had promised Jack that he could buy some comics for himself and for his brother Sean. So while Jack was taking his time in the comics shop, Danny decided that he could try to call his brother. He found a rather calm corner in the mall where he could talk undisturbed, while still keeping an eye on the entrance of the comics shop. The call went to voicemail after a few rings, so Danny hung up.

'Kid, are you still mad at me?' he thought. He felt the guilt rise again. It made him remember vividly what he had told Jamie and, especially, the way he had done it. No, he couldn't wait until sometimes next week before apologizing to his brother. He needed to do it now. He dialed Jamie's number again and when the call went to voicemail, he spoke.

"Hey kid. It's me, Danny. I can understand if you don't want to speak to me anymore. After what I told you yesterday I wouldn't want to speak to me either. I'm sorry Jamie, I'm really very sorry. I don't know what came over me. Yesterday I was furious, yes, but at myself because I may have messed up a case. And imagine why. Yes, I'm sure you guessed right. I didn't close it by the book. I should have never taken out my anger on you. You're a great cop, Jamie. Don't believe anyone who tells you differently, even if that person would be me. You would have never done my mistake. I'm sure you'll become the best cop this family ever had. Jamie, you're one of the most important persons in my life. I can't lose you. I beg you, please forgive me."

Danny's voice had grown more and more emotional during his apology. He needed to close the conversation as he felt that his voice was going to break. He whispered an "I love you kid" and hung up. His eyes were watery and it took him some minutes to compose himself. Finally he saw a very happy Jack coming out of the shop and he waved at him. Next stop, the butcher shop on the 2nd Avenue.

When Danny and Jack entered the butcher shop, there weren't many clients. A young man was searching for some item on a rack on the wall near the entrance. Two women were talking animatedly near the window, with a lot of grocery bags placed on the floor. When Danny entered the shop, he looked at the two women to see whose turn it was to be served, but they both made him a sign that they weren't in a hurry and he could go for his shopping. Danny nodded in thanks and he and Jack moved to the counter. Danny smiled when he noticed that Jack looked somewhat disgusted at the sight of so much meat in all possible variations. He turned to the seller behind the counter.

"Good evening. I'm picking up the order for Erin Reagan."

"Of course, we keep the ordered goods in the refrigerator in the back room. Just a second, I'll go fetch it for you." And he disappeared.

Danny turned his gaze to Jack who had paled and was looking at a rabbit. The butcher hadn't cut it in pieces, and even without the skin it looked still very much like a naked rabbit. Jack looked up at his father and said.

"I will never eat rabbit meat in my life."

Seeing Jack's reaction to the meat made him chuckle and it also distracted him. He did not pay particular attention to the sound of steps entering the shop. He wasn't bothered by clients coming after him, as he was nearly done and could finally go home with Jack.

So when suddenly pain exploded all over his back and he was shoved with full force against the Plexiglas in front of him, it came completely unexpected. He managed to push with all his strength against the Plexiglas to get a better standing. His head was whirling. He needed to protect Jack. He needed to protect himself. He tried to raise his arms to protect his head and his torso, but before he could do anything, he got hit again in his side with full strength. From the pain, everything went black for a short moment and it took him his breath. He stumbled against the Plexiglas. He was hardly able to stand anymore.

The pain clouded his mind, he couldn't think clearly. He considered: 'Was that a baseball bat?' He needed to turn himself in order to fight back. He managed to turn slightly his head but they hit him again, violently, this time on his head. This hit caught him diagonally from the base of his skull, over his left ear up to the side of his left eye. He heard Jack crying "DAD!", then his head exploded in pain and suddenly he felt his strength gone, his legs and his arms refused their duties and he sank against the Plexiglas and then slipped along it to his right side, falling over Jack and taking him down in the process. He could still feel getting kicked in his kidneys while already on the ground and then nothing more. Nothing in his body seemed to respond anymore to any command: not his mouth, not his legs, not his arms, not even his ears or his eyes. The only thing he could feel was that he was hurting, he was in terrible pain and he felt sick, extremely sick.

TBC