February 1978

Mary poked at her food listlessly. The house elves were obviously angels, since she loved every single dish on the table. But what she'd seen that morning had put her off breakfast. Hell, she might not even be able to stomach lunch. The house elves were obviously evil, because they were torturing her.

She was pleased to see that most of the other Seventh Years looked as exhausted as she felt. It had been a trying week for them, with piles of homework and three surprise tests. Three surprise tests…that was where Mary drew the line.

She was less than pleased when a Sixth Year sidled up to her and sat down beside her. The girl's name was Angie Harper, and she ticked off all of Mary's checkboxes on the list of things that defined annoying Sixth Years. She was nosy, airheaded, had a high-pitched voice, didn't like the Beatles, and, worst of all, she had once said that Evan Rosier had 'brooding sexiness.' Mary had a low tolerance for Sixth Years in general, but to her, Angie Harper was the devil in a sixteen-year-old's body.

"Morning, Mary!" Angie chirped.

Mary struggled with the urge to fling pumpkin juice on her. A voice like that was far too much of a strain on her ears this early in the day. "Angie," she muttered, glaring at a strawberry on her plate.

"The strawberries are simply lovely, aren't they?" Angie said. "It's amazing how they taste so good even though they're not in season. I bet the house elves have some sort of magic to keep them that way."

"Mmhmm," Mary said in response.

"Speaking of strawberries, did you hear what Elsa Greene did last night?"

Mary had no idea what strawberries had to do with Elsa Greene. She tuned out Angie's chatter, spearing the strawberry with her fork and popping it into her mouth. Angie was right; they did taste fantastic.

"-and her boyfriend was sitting right there! Imagine how embarrassing that must have been!"

Mary served herself more strawberries, savouring the sweet taste on her tongue. Now all she needed was chocolate and her day would drastically improve.

"-Fred Jones said that Gabrielle Abbott told him all about it-"

Swallowing another strawberry, Mary treated herself to fantasies of stabbing Angie in the eye with her fork. She'd have to get a new one to eat with after that, she reflected sadly.

"-and Lily Evans and James Potter-"

Mary choked on her strawberry. "Sorry?"

Angie stopped talking and shot her a smile. "I said, they're totally dating now."

"Of course they aren't," Mary said dismissively.

"But she told Michael Gray that she'd rather date James than him."

"Well, yeah, Michael was a tosser. She'd rather date anyone than him." Mary shrugged.

"Oh." Angie frowned. "Everyone's speculating about it."

Mary discreetly turned to look at the Ravenclaw table. Jenny Mulligan was there with her friends, but Michael was nowhere to be seen. "Excuse me," she said to Angie briskly, and she rose from the Gryffindor table. She strode up to Michael's friends and tapped one boy's shoulder. He looked more than a little startled.

"Yes?" he asked.

"Have you seen Michael?"

He shrugged, looking around at the group around him. They all shook their heads. "Not since last night, no."

Mary hoped she would not lose her tenacious hold on the strawberries in her stomach. "Thanks," she muttered and hurried out of the Great Hall. She pushed her way back to Gryffindor Tower, thinking about the events of the morning. She had tossed and turned all night, and found herself awake at some ungodly hour. When she'd tried to go back to sleep, Meghan had woken up, gotten dressed, and left to do some studying. Then, Marlene had stumbled around noisily, and headed out to fly some laps around the pitch. It had been eerily quiet after that but Mary was still wide awake. So she had climbed out of bed, thinking that if she was going to be awake, she might as well do something useful. And as she was making her way to the bathroom, she stepped on cloth. Frowning, she had looked down to see a pair of shorts. Lily's shorts. And Lily's bra. And Lily's panties. And someone else's shorts.

She had been downstairs ever since.

But she was gathering what courage she had, and now, she stormed up to their dorm filled with anger. Why hadn't Lily just talked to them? Then they could have worked it out together and there would never have been any secret-keeping. Merlin, she was finding out things through Sixth-Year gossips! She had had enough. It was time she confronted them, and it was time they faced her.

She stepped into the dorm and walked over to Lily's bed, her heart thudding in anticipation. She supposed the most dramatic way to do it would be to yank the hangings open, but that way, she'd also risk seeing them. She tugged on the scarlet cloth hesitantly. It didn't give. Charmed, she realised grimly. She tiptoed to the bathroom, pressing her ear against the door. She could hear the water running and the sound of Meghan humming over it. She would have to do this quickly. She came to stand by the bed again and took a deep breath.

"Lily? Why did you charm your hangings shut?"

There was a pause before Lily answered. "I didn't want to be interrupted," she said.

Of course not, thought Mary. "Really? Nothing you want to tell me?"

"No." This time the reply came almost immediately.

Mary wished she wouldn't be so difficult. It would be so much easier if she just came out with the truth. "Then why is your bra lying on the ground?"

"I took it off?" Lily said.

"And your shorts?"

"It was hot."

Mary sighed, putting her hands on her hips even though she knew Lily couldn't see her. "This has gone on for far too long."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, this - you and him!" Mary said loudly.

Lily didn't say anything for a while. "I can explain-"

"You bloody well can't. How long has this been going on?"

"Four months, I think." She sounded guilty and apologetic. Mary forgot to be angry for a moment because the words stunned her. Four months? Four months?

"Four months!" she repeated, outraged. "That's horrible! I thought you were above this sort of thing-"

"Wait-"

But Mary refused to stop. Lily was the one who usually lectured her about morals - and now look at her. "It's vile and hypocritical and - how could you?! He has a girlfriend - you broke up-"

"Hang on," Lily interrupted. "Who are you talking about?"

"You and Michael Gray!" Oh, Merlin, she didn't want to be sick, she wasn't going to be sick, she wasn't-

"Me and-" To Mary's shock, Lily burst into laughter. "I haven't been sneaking around with that tosser!"

"You haven't?" Mary said, dumbfounded. All those months they'd been wrong. It wasn't true. It wasn't true. Mary wanted to dance a jig around the room. But then her eyes found the mysterious pair of shorts. "Then... Who's in there?" She practically held her breath in anticipation.

"Why do girls wake up so early?" a muffled voice said. Mary strained to identify it, but she couldn't place it.

"Shut up, you," muttered Lily. "You're welcome to go back to sleep."

There was only one person Lily spoke to like that. Mary had to bite her lip to keep back the excitement.

"No, I have to see who he is!"

"In a state of undress such as this? I'm flattered, Macdonald."

And that was when she knew for sure. So she did the logical thing.

She screamed.

She heard the bathroom door open and Lily was shouting at her, but she ignored it - because Lily was in the same bed as James Potter. With their clothing flung all around it. Which meant- Mary was not sure if she should be disgusted or happy.

"Mary, what is wrong with you?!" yelled Lily.

"Lily," said Mary, holding in her excitement. "You obviously do not understand the momentousness of the... moment. There is one James Potter in your bed-"
"Did you just say James Potter in her bed?" Meghan said suddenly. Lily groaned, and James gave a muffled grunt. Mary nodded excitedly and raced out of the door.
"Marlene bloody McKinnon, have I got news for you!" she crowed. Marlene was sitting with Peter, Remus, and Sirius, playing Exploding Snap.

"Shh, Mary, I'm trying to focus!" Marlene said. "I've got to win this, or Sirius will be supreme champion for the second time in a row."

Sirius gave a smug smile. "You can try, McKinnon, but you can never beat me."

"My news is more important than a stupid game of Exploding Snap!" Mary protested loudly.

"The Exploding Snap championship is a matter of life or death," said Remus, deadpan.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I certainly think James and Lily shagging is of some import!" she snapped impatiently. As if to emphasise her statement, the pack of cards burst with a bang. The entire Common Room fell silent. "Oh, shit. I don't think I was supposed to do that."

Peter shrugged. "It's a bit too late now."

"They did what?" Marlene said.

"You heard me. Go see for yourself."

"I'd rather not, thanks." She made a face. "So, all this time it was - James?"

"Well, that explains it," said Remus, his eyes wide. "It certainly makes more sense than Michael Gray."

Sirius stared at the burning pack of cards. "Ha, you lost! I am now supreme champion - again!"

"That's not fair, Mary distracted me!"

"I thought you'd want to know!" Mary said.

"Not during Exploding Snap!"

"But what if they date?" Mary's eyes widened at the possibility. "Oh, Merlin, imagine that!"

Remus made a face. "I imagine it'd involve a lot of kissing, especially during mealtimes."

"Now that you mention it, I can picture it too. Ugh," Mary grimaced. "I still think it's great. It makes for a pretty good story, you know, how they didn't get along at all, and suddenly, they're doing this-"

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe they just started to get along."

"Or maybe bickering was their version of foreplay," Marlene snorted.

Mary pouted. "None of you are as excited as I am," she said accusingly.

"Because it happens all the time," Sirius said. "Couples get together, couples break up, couples get married, couples get divorced. They're nothing special, Mary."

Mary rolled her eyes. "I think you're wrong."

"Suit yourself."

But this time, Mary was right.

"But rumour has it he's the one I'm leaving you for."

A/N: Oh, man, I can't believe it's over. It's been a ridiculously fun time writing this and falling in love with every single character even though it was so short, and a real learning experience (aka How to Keep Things Comic 101). So, thanks to Stef for beta-reading, Paige for her advice, T for her insane fangirling, and thanks to every single one of you who read, and reviewed. You guys are what keeps me going.

xx

Tessa

PS: wait for the one-shot. It's coming.