note: I'm at it again.
note2: I actually wrote this months ago with the prompt "Dreams of the Impossible". You should know what this is about by now *evil smirk*
note3: I know this is pretty irrelevant to the manga right now but it could still happen so meh.
note4: I have to stop making you guys suffer.
disclaimer: I don't remember becoming a man.
summary: They were her dreams and they were crumbling like the castle above them.

"...and we'd have a victory party with the whole guild, because—because I'm sure Erza and the others won."

The once majestic castle of Mercurius continued to crumble to nothingness like a destroyed palace of sand, falling to the ground with a slow, rumbling tempo, and burying everything under it. Debris and stone pieces that were, not long ago, part of the ceiling and walls rained down, coated in fire and scorched black on the surface. Magic still permeated the air, the only tangible evidence of the vicious battle that had taken place. When she looked around, she knew she would only see signs of destruction, of everything burning to the ground, so she kept her gaze skyward, towards a hole in the ceiling that showed her the deceptive blue of the sky. There was a shrill ringing in her ears, the sound of silence seeming like a travesty of peace, detached from the ruins and damage her eyes have seen.

"Hey, Lucy..." A weak voice broke through her thoughts, the sound so familiar yet so broken and fading it brought a painful sting to her eyes. "Don't—don't cry..."

A strangled sob caught in her throat, suffocating and leaving her out of breath she thought she might die, and her chest felt like bursting open from the pain in her heart. The boy who used to stand strong, a firm and unstoppable force to enemies of the guild, was now lying on the ground, bloody and beyond repair, having so little strength to even squeeze her hand for comfort.

(He would've, if he could, like how he always did.)

Her teary gaze fell on his face, ever so black eyes staring up at her, the brightness she had admired him for steadily leaving them. She pursed her trembling lips and glared her eyes in frustration because she was starting to forget how bright they were to bring a shine in her darkest hours and she didn't want to forget. Even so, the grin remained on his lips, and she tried her hardest to engrave it in her mind because that was him. He has always been identified by that grin, and if she could hold onto just that, it would be enough. Definitely not enough to make her stop longing for him, but enough to make the sorrow bearable.

"I-I'm not crying, Natsu!" She wiped the tears away with a furious swipe, but her sight kept blurring and blurring the more she told herself not to cry, so she gave up and forced her lips to form a smile (because he would want her to smile, she knew, even when he was taking his last breaths). "There's nothing to be sad about because we'll get through this, right?" The hope she had was slowly dying with this boy, and there was nothing behind that sentence but wishful thinking. "And then, once it's all over, we'll have a drinking party, and you and Gray will have a competition, and you two will end up passed out on the floor like idiots, and then—and then—" She couldn't even bear to continue her sentence at the sudden surge of memories. Suddenly her chest felt heavier and it was harder to breath.

"You know, Luce," there was a bittersweet smile on his face, and she started to hate him because it wasn't fair to be the only one pretending that everything was going to be alright (because it was sad, and it was hard, and she couldn't do it alone), "I guess the only regret I have right now is that I wasn't able to tell you how I really feel." So much affection filled his tone that it made her heart swell and ache all at the same time. "That you're the most important person in my life, and that I love—"

"Shush, Natsu," she said, more for her sake than his (because if he continued even more, then she wouldn't be able to hold the tears back), "You can say that to me after all this, okay? We'll go on dates and get teased a lot, but we'll be happy. It won't be over here." Something wet was trailing down her cheeks and a shaky breath escaped her lips, her whole form trembling beyond her control. She felt the sudden urge to wrap her arms around Natsu, as if it was the last time she would ever have the chance to (and it hurt because it was, and she knew it). She pressed her cheek to his, feeling the warmth starting to leave it, too. Blood stained her clothes and crimson clashed with the blue and blond of her hair, but she didn't care. All she could care about was that his body was growing colder and colder and it shouldn't ever be close to cold because he was a fire mage, and he was warm like the sun. "We'll be happy because we love each other."

"I'm already happy, Luce," she didn't like how he sounded so content, because he was leaving her, and dammit he should not be content (because she wasn't), "At least you're here with me."

She found it easier to ignore him, to continue to delude herself with hopes and dreams that will die with the love of her life. "Maybe one day, I'll let you read my book," she said, a wry smile starting to curl the corners of her lips, "And then you'll know that it's all about you."

"A book about me?" He chuckled a little, and she felt it reverberate in his chest. Her eyes closed instinctively because she knew that if she listened hard enough, she would still hear the steady beat of his heart, the pulse of life inside him, and pretend it wasn't going to disappear. "That would've been nice to read."

"But you would be able to read it," she insisted, but it sounded empty even to her own ears, "And then after, you would either kiss me—although I doubt that because you don't even know romance—" he mustered enough strength to cry in indignation to that, to which she laughed at (because there was still a semblance of normalcy and familiarity left), "—or you'd run to the guild and brag about it to Gray, and you'll start a guild brawl and—" She stopped, shocked, as she felt a ghost of a kiss caress her cheek, soft and tender. The tears gathered again because she knew who it was from, and when she'll ever receive it again. "Natsu..."

"I just had to do it," he said, sounding weaker than he was just a moment ago, "That was probably the only time I would be able to have the energy to do it."

Her throat ached from swallowing too much sobs, and she wanted nothing more than to scream it raw, to finally let herself break down, but Natsu was still here, and that was enough reason for her to be happy, even if it was only for now. "You're just tired, Natsu," she whispered, "You just need to rest."

"Yeah," he said, and yet his voice sounded so far away, "Rest." He was tired in a different way, and she knew, deep inside, that no rest would be able to heal that.

She was tired, too. Too bad she wasn't tired enough to die like he was.

"Do you think we would've been married?" she asked, full of regret and disappointment. She found herself yearning for it, that day she would wear white and every person she loved would be celebrating with her, that she was going to start spending the rest of her life with the man she loved, but the pain of it remaining a dream kept her thoughts grounded. The thought of a wonderful future that wouldn't happen was like a deep stab to her heart, the wound gaping and bleeding. "Or had children?"

She received no response, but she couldn't stop herself from continuing her mindless rambling (because it was all she had left of the future). "I want to say we would be rich, but knowing you, we would still have to pay for damages you did on our mission, and we'll be left with only a part of the reward, but it'd still be miraculously enough to pay for rent and survive. But it's enough and we'll still be happy because we have each other."

"I—I love you...Lucy."

She could hear the small smile in his voice, but even then she continued (because she knew that if she stopped talking, she would start crying). "And we'd die together, wouldn't we? When we're old and we've lived our lives to the fullest." Her body shook with tremors she long suppressed, and it was as if a dam broke inside her, letting her feelings flood through her and drown her. "You—you wouldn't do something like die here, right? Because you're Natsu, and you're strong enough to live through this."

There was no reply, and tears poured out of her eyes.

"You wouldn't leave me here, right?" The desperation that she buried in her chest appeared at the edge of her voice, every part of her trying to cling onto Natsu. She ignored his cold cheek and his closed eyes and the bloodied, bittersweet smile that covered his face because dear Mavis this boy didn't know the definition of dying, and it was impossible for someone so strong to be cold and unmoving. But when she finally looked at him, her heart sank to the pits of her stomach, stopping its beating momentarily with the shock that coursed through her.

Because he wasn't breathing anymore.

The boy she loved was nothing but a dead corpse cradled in her arms.

It was then that she finally crumbled with despair, her cries tearing through the sounds of the end of the world. The pain in her chest made her wish that it was over already. Dying seemed less painful than losing the most important person in your life. Than going back to the present and trying to put the pieces back together. Than having to continue life left with unfulfilled hopes and broken dreams and no Natsu.

With him, she felt her future dying.

Because a future without him was not worth living in.

note: I have really got to stop thinking of ways Natsu could die in this arc. I should move on to Lucy ;)
note2: No, seriously, one of them might just happen and I would freak and demand Mashima-san why he would take an idea from an insane girl like me.
note3: Review? That might help sate my sadistic writing urges.
note4: Might.