Author note:

This is my first (of 2) entries for the 2013 hiatus ficathon challenge. It follows on from the events of Watershed and will venture into how I'd like to see season 6 pan out. I don't know how it compares to anyone else's vision because I'm yet to read any post-eps, but I hope some of you enjoy it :)

Rated T, although this may change to M dependent on how carried away I get ;)

Dedicated to Thaís & Flo because without them, this chapter would still be sitting half finished on my desktop. Thank you guys!

Thank you also to Zanna for fixing my grammar (and that completely rhymed :p) and Dani for her constant encouragement.

Reviews are love - constructive criticism is welcomed too!

-Leigh

Disclaimer:

I'm pretty sure I don't need to tell you that I'm not Andrew Marlowe and that I'm merely playing with the toys in his playground.. but there you have it. I own nothing you recognize, and the dialogue in italics at the beginning of the story is taken directly from episode 5x24 - so this isn't mine either!

Convergence

She walks up to him and perches on the swing. He barely catches her eye and she knows she's going to have to make the first move. "I'm sorry.." she ventures, silently willing him to look at her. "I shouldn't have kept secrets."

"It's who you are. You don't let people in- I've had to scratch and claw for every inch." His mother's words from earlier are still ringing in his ears as he replies, tone controlled and barely betraying his disappointment.

It doesn't matter though, because she knows all his little tells. "Castle.." Kate starts, not knowing how to put this right, or if she even can but knowing she has to try. The hurt in his eyes; she's put that look there time and time again, and now she has a gut feeling he's about to tell her that he can't let her do it to him anymore.

"Just let me finish.." There's a long pause and she can tell he's trying to collect his thoughts. "I've been doing a lot of thinking about us, about our relationship - what we have, where we're headed." He shakes his head and she feels her heart plummet, the muscles tightening in her face. This is it. "I've decided I want more," Kate wears an expression of resignation, and for the first time since she sat down, shows some of the emotion affecting her. "We both deserve more."

"I agree." She can't dispute that, and even if she could, she wouldn't, because they can't keep hurting each other like this. Her voice comes out stronger than she feels, and she's grateful for that.

"So whatever happens, and whatever you decide.." Her eyes are beginning to water and she inwardly pleads with herself that she's able to make it through this conversation without bursting into tears.

He drops to one knee in front of her, and at first confusion and then shock flit across her face. "Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?"

A look of dawning comprehension registers, quickly followed by pure panic and her stomach gives a violent lurch. Seconds pass; she isn't sure how long he's been kneeling there already and as the silence stretches between them, she's dimly aware they're starting to attract the attention of passers by.

"Wait, so you're not breaking up with me?" She hears herself voice the words, but her head feels like it's a million miles from her body and they sound foreign to her own ears. That was what she'd been preparing for, that was where it had sounded like his speech was headed yet now he's down on one knee, and oh god, he's just asked her to marry him. The knot in her chest begins to loosen, and she draws a shaky breath.

His eyes widen, and for a second he doesn't speak. "God no- no, never Kate- if I have my way." Castle's breathing is ragged when he finally finds his voice and the words fall out of his mouth in his haste to make her understand. "I'm sorry for the way I behaved. I was hurt; I didn't know what this meant and I panicked."

With that out in the open and the reality of the situation setting in, she eyes the ring warily. "Why are you doing this Castle? Because I know what I'm seeing, I just don't know why." She can't sit still and gets to her feet, pacing uneasily. "What is it you really want from me? Because we've never talked about it, and I need to know." They can't have this conversation while he's on bended knee in front of her and she reaches out a hand to pull him up from the grass, hoping he understands.

Castle looks at her outstretched hand, and she's surprised to see that instead of looking resigned, he's wearing an expression of steely determination as he grasps hold of her. He allows himself to be pulled to his feet - causing them both to stumble at the uneven distribution of weight - and grabs her by the elbow to keep her standing.

They're barely a foot apart now, both consciously aware that this is the closest proximity they've been in for days. The ache in his chest intensifies and he allows himself to inhale everything that he's become so familiar with. God, he loves her. He's crazy in love with Kate Beckett, and he's not prepared to let this go. Castle is in two minds about it, but eventually he's unable to stop himself reaching out and drawing her closer still, hand settling on her hip.

"You Kate," he breathes, "I just want you." A crash of thunder seems to reverberate through the intervening months and when his eyes desperately meet her own suspiciously shiny ones, he knows she's having the same emotional recollections. The thud of her body slamming against the door. The heat emanating from her body in complete contrast to the dampness of her clothing. Lips on lips, swallowing the sounds they were making. Hands mapping out the unfamiliar territory, her smaller one enclosing around his as she took him to bed that first night...

"Castle," his name escapes on a shallow exhale. "This past year with you.. hell, the past five years have been like something out of someone else's life and you need to know that that this is it for me. And it's time we talked about what that really means."

"I want you to be my third time's the charm. I want to be your one and done. Have two-point-four kids and a dog - whatever forever entails, but what I want more than anything is to be for you to be happy and if that's by relocating to DC, then I'll support you." He looks at her earnestly.

"Are you-"

"I'm sure," He interrupts firmly. "I've done nothing but think about it- so you can save your protest speech. I'm not giving up that easily. I've spent five years breaking down your walls and I'm not about to let you put them all back up again just because you're scared." She looks at him, expression bordering on something between surprise and exasperation; of course he's been able to read her like a book from day one. Why should this have been any exception? He probably figured it out before she did.

"If that means I have to keep scratching and clawing, then that's what I'll do. If that means following you to another state-."

"I got the call this afternoon," She interrupts his speech, maintaining eye contact and searching his expression to try and decipher his emotions. Her poker face slips for a fraction of a second, and she knows it doesn't go unnoticed by him, "They offered me the job."

Castle smiles then and there's genuine pride burning fiercely behind his eyes, "Of course they did. Like anyone else could stand a chance against you." She feels the light kiss he drops on the top of her head before drawing back to look at her, "Congratulations, I'm proud of you."

"Thanks," Kate murmurs. A shadow crosses her face and glancing back him, she quickly attempts to school her features, seeing him frown. She smiles half-heartedly, dragging her bottom lip between her teeth, "But I've decided not to take it."

She watches Castle do a double take at her words, clearly thrown for a loop and if it wasn't for the severity of the situation Kate would be amused at the confusion. "What?" He stammers. "Run that past me again?"

"I said I'm not going to DC, I'm going to decline the offer," Her breath catches in her throat slightly, and she can tell he's as shell-shocked as she feels by the turn of events over the past few days. "Say something Castle?"

He hesitates and the tension between them thickens. She can see the forbidding line of his mouth, notes the way his jaw clenches and it is a measure of how well she knows him that she realizes just how much he's trying not to say the wrong thing. His expression is wary; he's treading on eggshells around her - because he doesn't want to screw this up - and she feels a rush of guilt "Why?" He asks finally, his writer's vocabulary choosing the most inopportune of moments to abandon him. "I thought this job was what you wanted, I thought it was your chance to be more?"

"It's an incredible opportunity," she admits. "They have access to resources I can only dream about for as long as I'm with the twelfth. I'd be working with people who are at the top of their game, they're the best at what they do. I walked into that building and could practically feel their dedication, their drive, that intense focus and I could identify with that. We had the same objective."

The corners of her lips twitch slightly, but she can't manage a smile, "then I came back here and threw myself into solving the case; doing what I'm best at, doing what I know how to do. I was doing what I love in a place that's become my home, with people who are the closest thing to a family I've got and I realized that all the things which attracted me to the job are the same reasons why I know it's not right for me anymore. Maybe I could be good, but I'm better here."

"Good?" He makes a noise of protest, "Kate, I've spent five years following you around. I know you, and I don't think you could ever be anything less than extraordinary."

She can barely see for the way her eyes have misted over, and takes a deep steadying breath, "Don't get me wrong, if I'd been in this position six years ago I'd have jumped at the chance. But now.. I'm not the same person I was back then, or at least I'm trying not to be." Kate is biting down on her lip so hard she's surprised she doesn't draw blood, carefully assessing the weight of her next words before she speaks.

"You make me extraordinary," She admits eventually. "You believed in me when I didn't, and you made me see life through a different perspective. You taught me how to have fun again and a hundred other things besides," Castle opens his mouth to speak again, but she cuts him off.

"Don't- let me finish?" She echoes his words, and he nods in acknowledgement watching her expectantly. "I love you Rick, and I've been in love with you for longer than I would normally ever admit to."

Instead of smiling Castle's face changes into a frown, "Kate, loving me isn't enough for you not to follow your heart. I don't want to be the reason you settle for what you have."

"Loving you isn't the reason I've decided to stay. You love me enough to follow me to DC if it means I'd be happier and maybe once I would have been, but the truth is now the only way I could ever be happy is here in New York, with my family. With our family." Beckett takes a step closer to him, "Walk with me?" She murmurs and he nods in acquiescence, a gentle lull in the conversation.

They walk along in silence for a while, and she can tell he's still brooding over her response, "What if I told you that it wasn't even really about the job?" She asks shrewdly, wrapping her arms around her body, and trying to suppress an involuntary shiver. "That I think went after it so hard for all the wrong reasons?"

"Why do you think you did it?" His brow is furrowed, and he studies her intently.

It's a reasonable question but Kate's guilt suddenly hits her and she feels about an inch tall as she tries to explain, "when Agent Stack asked me where I saw myself in five years I couldn't answer, and it suddenly hit me later how much that bothered me. When he told me about that job opening up, I didn't tell you about it because I never intended for it to be anymore than that." Guiltily she finds herself, staring down at the grass, hair falling across her face and shielding her from his curious eyes.

"I should have told you when I decided to go for the interview though. I'm sorry you found out like that. I just needed something in my life to be certain, but-" she pauses, noticing his gaze has shifted and follows his line of vision to where he's watching a group of small children playing at the edge of the park.

"You were right Castle," she continues, her voice softer now but she knows he's still hanging on to every word. "This isn't just about me anymore, it's about us - I just couldn't see it because I-" she falters; the words are on the tip of her tongue but she can't seem to get them past the lump that has formed in her throat.

"Didn't know what we were," he finishes for her when she hesitates for just a fraction of a second too long, and she feels an overwhelming amount of gratitude.

"It's not all your fault Castle," she murmurs, reaching out for his hand. "This is on me too. We spent four years never talking about it, hurting ourselves - hurting each other - then we fell into this relationship and we didn't know how to do this. Sometimes it feels like the only thing that's really changed is that everyone knows we're together - and once I'd have jumped at the normality of it-" she blushes, avoiding the way he is determinedly trying to meet her eyes again.

"But we're still hurting each other, we still don't say what's on our minds and we've never really determined where we stand. Until today-"

There's a shift in the atmosphere between them, and during an emotionally charged moment where she seems to run out of words, Kate launches herself towards him. Castle opens his arms and she almost falls into them, wrapping herself around him and taking a second to compose herself. She eventually lifts her head off of his shoulder.

"I know I'm not the easiest person to read sometimes, but you need to know that I'm in this with you Rick. I stand with you." Any trace of hesitation on her face is gone, and the look in her eyes is replaced with one of blazing happiness.

Kate feels his grip on her tighten in response to her words, his body is trembling against her and if she's not mistaken, she can feel his tears against her skin. Her arms are locked firmly around his neck and she breathes him in, something catching in her throat and causing the dam to finally break. Sobs wrack her slender frame, and she finds herself choking on her apologies.

His breath is hot against the side of her face as he whispers to her. His hands go from being wrapped around her waist, to stroking her back in a repetitive soothing motion and gradually her tears subside, until they're standing there in silent relieved embrace. They need work but they're going to be okay.

"So.. this?" He asks, when they eventually break apart. They both look down at the ring, still clutched in the palm of his hand.

"Castle, I need you to hold onto that for now," she starts. "Because when you put that ring on my finger I want it to be for the right reason. I want it to be because I deserve it - not because you were scared to lose me and acted on impulse."

"Kate, that's-"

"That's exactly why you did it," she tells him gently, but firmly. He opens his mouth and she knows he's going to apologize, so she silences him by pressing her mouth to his, and whispering her reassurances against his lips, "It's okay."

When they draw apart she rests her forehead against his, her fingers finding purchase in the front of his shirt. "You need to understand that this isn't me saying no," Her breathing is slightly shallow and she puts a little space between them again as she tries to collect herself enough to finish explaining. "Some day, whether that be in six months or a year I'd like nothing more than to marry you-"

Castle is watching her closely, eyes searching her expression and watching as she tries to keep it neutral. "But?" He prompts her.

She smiles, lacing her fingers through his and looking down at their joined hands. "But right now, I'm not ready for this and I don't think you are either. Let's take some time, figure everything out and then, when the time is right-"

"I'll ask you again," Castle interrupts, his lips curving upwards, and she can hear the elation in his voice. He tugs gently on her arm, meeting no resistance from her and pulling her into his side.

"You'll ask me again, and I'll say yes."