Well, here's the last chapter. Enjoy!

Last one. I grasp the tape tightly in my hand. I wanna know what has been the last straw, I wanna know it so badly, but still, as soon as I'm done with the last tape I have to send it to JJ and then Emily will be gone for good. I know it's creepy, she's still dead but hearing her voice makes me feels as if she's walking beside me, telling be her story. I caught myself trying to reach out for her, trying to take her hand but all I would feel was the cold winters air. I'm fighting the urge to press play but at some point I can't resist it anymore and her voice fills my again.

I can't believe it.

I can here she's whispering. Why?

If you're listening to this, I really did it. I planned on doing it tonight, but…

There's hesitation in her voice and for a second it fills me with hope, maybe something can persuade her to stay; but then it hits me. I am listening to this. It's too late.

I'll give it one last try. Life, I mean, one last chance. If I'm sitting here tomorrow and I smile at you when you come in then it's gonna be a real smile, I promise. Maybe he can help me smile again.
But I'm getting my hopes up here. I mean, what are the chances that he can really show me a way out of this? Slim.

Come on Emily, whoever he is, have a little faith in him.

But I promised to try it, so here I am. Let's go.

There is some rustling like she's putting the recorder into a bag of sorts and the the clicking of her heels on the floor. And knock on the door and a quiet "Come in"

I know this kind of "come in". That's my boss. That is Aaron Hotchner.

She doesn't leave time for going into shock because I hear a door closing and she speaks again.

You have a second?
-Of course, take a seat.

Their voice sounds muffled, it must be because of the bag.

Uhm, I don't quite know how to approach this whole thing.
-Just name it.
You know that, when you feel like you're… I don't know, suffocating?
-Emily?I'm surprised he uses her first name, he must have felt something was wrong.

Since our kiss-

I knew. I knew she kissed Hotch that night. We all knew, and still we made more of it than it actually was.

it's been…different.
-Emily.

The way he says it, he's reprimanding her, telling her not to mention it. That's not the Hotch she needs right now. She would have needed empathy, understanding. The way Hotch was treated didn't change after the rumors, it had always been her fault. And I didn't do anything against it.

I know you don't want to talk about it. And you don't have to. I just wanted somebody to know that maybe…maybe I can't do it anymore.

-Do what?She's hesitating. For a while there's only here quiet breathing.

Life.

Silence. A long one. A suffocating one. I wouldn't know what to say either.

That's kind of extreme, don't you think. Just because a few rumors?


He doesn't believe her. For god's sake, she's serious! Talk to her! Tell her that you're gonna help her! Say that everything's gonna be alright!

It's not just the rumors.
-Maybe, but Emily, suicide?
Yeah. You're right. Suicide is a strong word. I'm sorry to bother you.

No. Wait. He can't let her leave like that.
STOP HER, HOTCH!

-Emily-
No. You're right. It's foolish.


I can hear her standing up. She must have taken the bag because he can barely understand what Hotch is saying.
I just want him to stop her. Telling her what the plan is, to get her back to her feet.

Have a good night, Hotch.

The door closes again, and for a time it's quiet until I hear the familiar ding of the elevator.

I'm not stepping in. Not yet. Maybe he'll stop me.

The way it remains quiet, I know he doesn't. I know that I wouldn't see her on her desk the next day, that the smile she talked about was nothing but an illusion.

No. He's not coming. He doesn't believe I'm serious. He doesn't care enough to stop me.

Of course he does! At least I want to believe that. I want to believe that she stopped and talked to Hotch. I want her to sit on her desk tomorrow. And that's because Hotch failed. He failed her. He let her down.
That's not something she said but I know everybody who listens to this will think it.

I don't know what else to say. This is it ... I'm sorry.

A soft click resounds in my ears.
It's over.
Wow, I never thought that silence could be this loud. It booms inside my head and echoes behind the headset.
I don't want to think about it anymore. There's nothing left to say, nothing left to feel. The woman I love is gone so what is there left to do?
I stare ahead at the wall until someone taps onto my shoulder. I take of the headphones and turn around.
"I'm sorry, sir. We're closing."
I look around and see an empty room. I nod and place the money on the counter in front of me. Wordlessly I step outside and a wave of cold air hits me.
I don't know what to do. I don't wanna go home.
"Derek!"
I freeze until she stands right in front of me, staring into my eyes questioningly.
"Derek Morgan, would you please talk to me?"
"Penelope?"

"What are you doing here?"
I shrug and the way she looks at me I know she knows I'm thinking about Emily.
"C'mon. We're going somewhere."
"Somewhere?"
Instead of answering me she grabs and pulls me along the street. We don't talk until I find myself in front of the cemetery again.
"Penelope, I've already been here today." I say and shake my head with a sigh.
She doesn't listen to me and for her sake I walk to the headstone with her. She holds my hand a little tighter and watches the sky.
"You think she's up there? Watching over us?"
When she looks back at me she has tears in her eyes. I put my hand around her shoulders and gaze up at the stars. And somehow I just know she's looking down and keeping an eye on us. And it makes me miss her a little less because I know she's never really gone.
"Yeah, babygirl. I'm sure she is."
She pulls me in an embrace and I press a kiss to her head.
And while I hold her and she holds me, a wave of feelings rolls over me.
Pain, love, fear, longing… and there's something I didn't expect to be there.
Hope.

Just close your eyes
The sun is going down
You'll be alright
No one can hurt you now
Come, morning light
You and I'll be safe and sound
-Taylor Swift - safe and sound

I really wanted to thank all of you. There has been so much support for this story I don't even know what to say so let's leave it at THANK YOU.
I really hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
A new story is gonna be up soon but I want to finish all I have posted till now, there's gonna be one Hotly and one Demily, hope you take a look.
But well, that's it, I love you guys and hope I see some of your reviews on my other stories!
xoxo