My first Avengers story. Disclaimer: I only own Addison.

All anxiety and panic attack symptoms and conditions below are based on my personal experiences with my conditions and are not meant to cover anyone else's experience with these conditions.

Edited 6/16

My stomach churned repeatedly. Shifting the damp cloth on my eyes, I tried not to think about how much I wanted to empty the contents of my stomach. An inward groan later, I rolled to the edge of the bed and grabbed the trash can.

"I take it you're not feeling any better?"

Bruce pulled my hair away from my face as I retched. Why was I so sick these past few days? After I finished, I wiped a shaky hand across my mouth.

"I-I don't want to ask the obvious but you've been sick almost all week. Is everything...um...okay?"

I didn't have to look up to know he was red with embarrassment. Bruce's concern was valid. One glance at the calendar and I immediately felt a pull in the pit of my stomach. Shit. I was four weeks late. Tony would be pleased to learn that the serum he and Bruce created worked and quite well. The serum suppressed The Other Guy so Bruce and I could have sex. It took them months, but the Science Bros figured it out.

Bruce and I used it multiple times since its creation two months ago. All the pent-up sexual frustration finally released in more ways than one. Our bedroom, the bathroom, and even once in the lab. Our living room flashed into my head. Bruce kissing the top of my head as we laid on the floor, sweaty, satisfied. My arms around him as I rested my head on his chest, scared as hell to let him go. Had we conceived then?

I thought back to that day. Bruce, Tony, and the rest of the Avengers left on a dangerous mission. Pepper tried to calm me down the best she could, but even she was concerned when their 24-hour mission took over 48 hours. We thought we lost them. I returned to our apartment to nervously wait. The moment Bruce came through the door half dressed in torn pants, our lips touched. He slammed the door behind him. As he picked me up, I wrapped my legs around his waist, grinding my hips against his. He'd moved his lips to my neck. I cried his name. We wound up on the couch, Bruce quickly gave himself his shot, I took off my pants, and-

I reached for the trash can again, but nothing came out. "Dammit. Bruce, I can't be...can you even...?"

He scratched his curls, "I'm sure I could. Honestly, Addison, you're the first girl I've gone that far with since the accident. I-I haven't given it much thought."

I couldn't fault him. Here he thought he'd never have sex again, and suddenly he's discovered something that has given him an opportunity to do it without worrying about losing control of himself. I wasn't careful either. For someone who worried about every little thing, why hadn't I worried about getting pregnant? I remembered why. I was too excited at the prospect of the serum working. Each time we were about to start, I didn't bother to grab a condom. I was never on birth control either. We weren't having sex before now, so I told myself I didn't need it. We were both to blame. Neither of us had given the possibility of me getting pregnant much thought.

"Bruce...I'm pregnant?" It came out as more of a question. A question not just for him but for myself. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant? I'm currently growing a baby in my body. I ran a hand over my face and sat up straight. Fear rose inside me and my heart began to pound.

Bruce must've seen the look in my eyes because he took my cheeks in his hands. "Ah, ah, ah. Look at me. Deep breaths. It's going to be okay."

"Bruce..." I was slipping quickly into another attack and Bruce knew it. "I'm going to, we're going to, I can't, you can't—"

"Shh, shh. Stop. Breathe. Shh. Easy."

My eyebrows knitted together. My hands began to tremble.

While Bruce has problems with his anger and The Other Guy, I have problems with my fears and worries. I have generalized anxiety disorder and severe panic disorder. My GAD consists of worrying about everything and anything from idiotic things, like if my phone will catch fire in my pocket, to major things like, if someone will come and take Bruce away. The worrying is constant and being on medication has helped, but only slightly. I get anxiety attacks when things are particularly stressful. They're expected, like when I first met the Avengers. The panic attacks, however, are awful. They're sudden and unexpected, like when one hit while I tried to pick what type of bread I wanted at the store. I remember Bruce having to physically carry me out of a Target because of the latter situation. As I sat on our bed, I began to feel dizzy and my breathing quickened. My lips felt numb and the trembling radiated from my hands down to my legs. I gripped his forearms as if touching him would stabilize my mind and calm me down.

"Take deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth." When I couldn't calm my breathing, Bruce stroked my cheeks. "Addison. Stop. Take a deep breath." Bruce coached me with a calmness in his voice that I recognized clearly as his doctor voice. Only when my eyes focused on his did he continue. "On the count of three, I want you to breathe in with me. Alright? Remember, just the way I taught you. One...two...three."

Bruce inhaled through his nose and I did too. After three seconds, he released the breath slowly through his mouth and I did the same. We continued this until the tremors in my hands ceased and my breathing evened.

He kissed my forehead and released my face. "There you go, keep breathing...see? There you are. Sweetheart, are you okay now?"

I shook my head as I continued the breathing technique.

"What's wrong?"

"Bruce, I'm pregnant."

"Why is that a bad thing?"

"Because you don't want children." I looked into his eyes. I could feel the fear rising in my chest again. "I'm not stable enough, you get angry, your father, we can't-"

Bruce frowned. "Wait, who says we can't?"

"We're not, we won't be like other parents-"

"So? Look, Addison, I love you."

I pulled away from him slightly. I knew he loved me, but the way he said it this time felt different, more positive and reassuring. I reached up and touched his stubbled cheek. "I love you, too, Bruce. I just...I don't know if we can do this. Hell, if I can do this. What if I'm not a good mom? What if—"

"The way I see it, as long as we both love each other, who's to say we won't be good parents? I-I know we didn't exactly plan this, and we both have certain...problems, but I won't be like my father." His hands moved under my shirt. I took another deep breath as his thumbs rubbed soothing lines against my unpronounced stomach. "I will love this baby as much as I love you. I'm sure our baby will be safe. Granted, we'll be careful, but...I think things will be fine."

"Are you sure?" I asked. "I don't want to go through with this if you don't want me to. I'd rather not at all than alone."

"I'm positive. If you're comfortable with this, then I want you to go through with this. I would never make you handle this responsibility alone. If you go through with this, then this baby is our responsibility. Okay?"

"Okay. Bruce, I kind of want to have this baby."

Bruce made a face. "Kind of?"

"I just...I'm scared. I-I'm terrified."

"Of course you're scared. You're going to have a baby."

"I'm going to have a baby," I repeated, a small smile gracing my lips.

He closed the gap between us. "We're going to have a baby, Addison."

I repeated the words and kissed him. Bruce grinned against my lips. When I touched his shoulders and pressed myself against him to remove the space between us, he gripped my hips and leaned me back against the pillows. His mouth moved just below my ear.

"Oh no," I groaned. "Shit!"

Bruce stopped. "What is it? Did I hurt you?"

"No. I just realized something."

"What?"

"We're going to have to tell Tony."