Hey guys. This is my first ever fan-fiction on here, but don't turn away yet! ^^ I'm hoping to write a lot more and get a lot better at being a short-story author, so please take a look and let me know what you think (: I love any kind of review, whether negative or positive, and feedback is always much appreciated ~3

A HxH implied shounen-ai story inspired by my wandering mind in Senior English class, lol.

- I'm Really Not Okay -

Sometimes, I think the sky is listening.. Listening to my thoughts and my pain from way up above. And sometimes, when my heart falters that extra half-second as I face the front of the storm, I think he hears it. Along with the painful gasp of frozen air that follows my decision to keep on living with that plastered smile.

He hears it all.

- But I'll Smile for You -

The morning was frozen into a state of drudging, numbed light that seemed to soak the positivity right out of everything, and return with it a somber attitude that steeped over the little unevenly paved town, and sponged the color right out of the air, turning everything a bleak and empty gray. No one dared peek out at the day yet, nor did they stir from their luxuriously padded beds, for it was much too gloomy a Saturday for waking from their welcoming beds to even be considered, let alone for work to be done. Barely anything moved, except maybe the hunters who worked there or the occasional passer-bys, and those that did stir did so without feeling, or energy; it was a motion that could be considered that of the walking dead.. Monotonous and dry, as though the motivation they once held to take steps with a life-like vigor had been sapped from them completely.

It was, as Killua had said earlier, utterly depressing. And despite Gon's usual positive light, he most unfortunately had to agree. The town seemed too dull, like a sketch that was never painted, because the artist lost motivation for the piece. It saddened Gon, but also made him feel a bit nervous, like it was suddenly wrong to just go waltzing in with his usual zeal.

But Killua didn't notice Gon's sudden change in atmosphere, and hopped down off of the perch where they had been inspecting the area, starting to make his way into town. Gon hurriedly scrambled after his best friend, and trying his best to forget about his earlier concern, smiled and forced his way to the front, clasping his hands behind him and jeering his usual bright smile at Killua.

"Ne, Killua. Do you really think Ging visited here?" Gon inquired, walking backwards with his hands supporting his head, trying not to look too concerned.

"I'd hope so. The informant said that your old man used to visit a friend here. But I really don't understand why he'd want to hold a reunion in a place like this.." Killua gestured around, obviously down-put by Gon's father's choice of vacation spots. "I mean this place is so .. gloomy."

Gon made a sour face. "Yeah, it's kinda cold here too. But I guess he wanted to meet him here because of how remote this place is."

"Ahh, I get it. Staying-under-the-radar and all." Killua said, shoving his hands into his short pockets to warm them up.

"Yep." Gon replied, putting on a fresh new determined face. This is how it's always been: a game of tag that would take all Gon's effort to play. If his dad ever made it easy for him, the game would lose all meaning.

They continued their trek down a steep, winding trail that led to the mouth of the town, where two large arches gaped down at anyone who approached, as if daring them to set foot within city limits, which set Gon on edge. He tried not to seem too weary though as they neared the stone arches.

Just as they were within reach of the city limit, Gon hesitated and impulsively sniffed the air. He wasn't quite sure what it was, but something felt really off. As though ahead of him there was a trap he would not be able to escape.. Something told him if he went in there right now, he either wouldn't come back the same person, or wouldn't come back at all.

The stone archways glared at him as though they expected him to flee back the way he came.

"Gon?" Killua turned. "Are you okay?"

Gon tore his gaze from the stone arches and gave a weary smile, hoping he didn't look too flustered. "Yep, just fine." he lied. "Let's get going before it starts to rain!" he urged, quickly snagging up Killua's hand and dragging him past the evil-looking entryway, before he himself could change his mind.

"Ehh? It's going to rain?" Killua questioned, watching his friend's back as Gon pulled him through the empty streets. It wasn't really a question though, more of a rhetorical statement. Killua knew how sharp his friend's nose was, and wasn't one to question Gon's senses.

"Man now we have to find some place to stay for a while." Killua pouted. He and Gon both shuddered at the idea of having to stay here for much longer. Somehow.. they both got the feeling that there was something strange at work here.

Gon continued forward, dragging Killua behind him like a doll as the messy white-haired boy pulled out his phone with his remaining hand, and began searching up good places to stay. "Oi Gon, Slow down a bit!"

Gon didn't respond, but he did let go of Killua's arm, and had stopped to take a look around. They had somehow managed to find the one green place in the entire town. It was a small, serene little park nestled in between a few of the taller buildings the town had to offer. They weren't that large, maybe four or five stories, but they still practically towered over the rest of the inhabitants. As for the park, it was extremely cramped, and poorly mistreated. The trees had been cropped too short and were growing at odd angles. The grass was wild and unkempt, littered with cans and torn bags of food the residents had left. The fountain was rusted over and didn't work. And most sad of all was the rickety swing set, which looked like it was used more for wood-carving practice than actual swinging.

While Killua continued browsing through local hotels on his phone, Gon meandered over and gazed at the nearly shredded swingset with mild interest. Some of the wood carvings had names and little hearts, but others weren't quite as cute. Many had utilized a full vocabulary of profanity, while others were just people's signatures. And a few of them were just weird phrases carved out of sheer boredom, or inspirational quotes girls probably carved out in their spare time.

But one in particular stood out to Gon, and as he reached out to rest his hand against the ravished wood, a peculiar feeling washed over him, and a single tear slid from his cheek. It was carved out in immaculate detail, and in a curvy, old-style script hand-writing that seemed impossible if it wasn't done by a professional. But what struck him most about the carving was not it's style, but instead, the actual words that had been written.

"If you can't find yourself.. You will never find me."

Gon's world began to spin out of control, and his balance seemed to fail him as the words carved onto the swing washed over everything else. Of course he knew who wrote this. It was obvious. But why..? Gon took a step back as the world lurched from underneath him, and he grabbed his face in one hand as a piercing splinter entered his mind.

"Gon..? Oi, Gon..!"

Gon tried to respond but his words were lost as the air rushed out of him, and the ground came to meet him with one swift thud, turning everything black.

Thanks for reading ~ Chapter 2 is next.