Darcy's Do NOT Do List

1. Posting pictures of Steve's butt with the caption "I'd tap that," on Facebook. (Steve blushed for the next fifty times he saw her.)

2. Posting pictures of Clint's butt with the caption "I'd tap that," on Facebook. (Clint asked her if she would actually like to do it. Darcy replied that she'd love to.)

3. Posting pictures of … NO pictures of ANY of the Avengers or their body parts on Facebook. (The Avengers avoided Darcy when she had a camera or cell-phone for a while after that.)

4. Telling Steve that Fifty Shades of Grey is a necessary book for him to read to help him understand modern society. (Steve never took book advice from her again.)

5. Making Steve watch Magic Mike. (Or movie selections.)

6. Taking Steve to Hooters. (Or restaurant ideas.)

7. Asking Bruce if he ate too many green beans and that's why he's the Jolly Green Giant. (Bruce gave her a confused look the first few times, then sighed every time he saw her again.)

8. Telling Loki that his fangirls are amassing an army for him and waiting for him to take command. (Loki asked Agents Hill and Romanoff if either off them belonged to it.)

9. Get Tony to make her a tazer that would take down a god, then using it on Nick Fury. (Fury always made sure that Darcy knew he was approaching in the future.)

10. Give Tony a Red Bull. (Stark Industries still hasn't recovered.)

11. Give Thor a Red Bull. (SHIELD still hasn't recovered.)

12. Post pictures of Golden Retrievers with the caption "Thor" all over SHIELD headquarters.

13. Tell Jane of Thor's previous love-affairs with mortals. (Dude was out in the doghouse for a long time…which started the Golden Retriever posters circulating again.)

14. Challenge Natasha and Clint to a spit-ball contest, with fifty points to whoever gets Fury in the eye patch. (Natasha and Clint weren't allowed near paper for a while after, which they loved since it meant they had no more mission reports to do.)

15. Challenge the Avengers to a game of Truth or Dare. (Tony's dares are horrendous and humiliating.)

16. Challenge Tony to out drink Steve. (Tony's still convinced that he'll eventually beat Steve.)

17. Tell Thor that the toaster wants to steal his pop-tarts, then convince Tony to make a toaster that takes a hunk out of all the pop tarts. (Even though it's extremely amusing to watch Thor smash all the toasters around SHIELD and Stark Tower with Mjolnir in an effort to protect the poor Midgardians from their kitchen appliances.)

18. Ask Steve to talk about the good old days, ("You know, Cap, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth.")

19. Watch Lord of the Rings with Thor, then tell him that it really happened and that Legolas is Clint's great-great-grandfather. ("What has happened to your ears, friend Barton?" Thor asked immediately after watching it. Clint just sighed.)

20. Tell Coulson that he missed a limited edition Captain America card and that he would never get another chance to get the card. (Super Secret Agent actually looked upset over that.)

21. Tell Coulson that his vintage Captain America trading cards got put in the paper shredder by accident. (The unfortunate agent Darcy and Tony blamed for it didn't get out of medical for two months and is still having psychiatrist visits daily.)

22. Dye Clint's uniform purple. (Nobody was ever able to figure out how she did it.)

23. Reveal Loki's location to all of his fangirls. (SHEILD never saw that stampede coming, and Loki was actually glad to go back into his cell after a very short time of them.)

24. Take Thor to Wal-Mart. (A complete culture shock for the alien prince.)

25. Take Bruce to DMV. (Not nice people and rage monsters don't mix. Who knew?)

26. Make Tony's suit play nothing but Taylor Swift. (Even though Tony running from the Love Story ringtone was hilarious.)

27. Make a replica of Loki's helmet and scepter and go around SHEILD saying "bow to me, you ants" than laughing manically. (It wasn't considered very funny.)

28. Get Thor to fly her around when she's doing errands. (Even if it saves so much time.)

29. Dare Clint to shoot the lights out of the Rockefeller building. (Because he will do it.)

30. Get Tony to deposit Captain America on the book of the Statue of Liberty. (Explained to Fury by saying, "It's like a pop-up book.")

31. Taze SHEILD guards for ogling her. (Ogling does not count as sexual harassment in SHEILD.)

32. Get Steve to beat up the SHEILD employees she's no longer allowed to taze for ogling her. (Though Steve was more than happy to do it.)

33. Reprogram all the phones to play "Boyfriend" when Fury calls (in retaliation for no longer being allowed to taze or get Steve to beat up SHEILD employees who ogle her.)

34. Be with Tony when the genius hasn't slept in over fifty hours. (Way too many explosions happen that way.)

35. Leak to the tabloids that Captain America was married…to the Black Widow. (Lots of broken-hearted fangirls.)

36. Suggest that Fury and Hill should "just get it on already." (Her remarks were not appreciated.)

37. Plan Loki and Black Widow's wedding. (Loki, Black Widow, or Clint wouldn't talk to her for weeks.)

38. Compare the Avengers to the JLA. (Darcy still believes that they're just jealous of the DC heroes, Tony is still insisting that they're not real. The others know that this will never be resolved.)

39. Introduce the Avengers to fanfiction. (The varying reactions were hilarious for everyone not involved. Especially with the mature and slash stories.)

40. Introduce Steve to the Captain America comic books. (Poor man didn't know what to think.)

41. Tell Steve of her plan to be Mrs. Captain America. (Steve avoided her for a while after that.)

42. Reveal to Loki all the Thorki, Frostiron, Frostsheild, pairing on fanfictions. (Though, for a while after if he was acting up all she had to do was threaten to introduce all of SHEILD to those wonderful stories and he would stop misbehaving.)

43. Tell the world that Pepper and Tony were married. (Pepper loved it – got all of those golddiggers away from Tony. Tony loved it – saved him the trouble of having to propose. Everyone in the tower loved it – got the couple to stop dancing around each other. Darcy's still trying to see the problem here.)

44. Ask Loki to marry her so that she could be queen…of Jotenhiem. (Can't remember how to spell it. So sorry.) (Loki was even more shocked when he found out she was serious, though "Doesn't matter where or what I'm queen of. It would just mean that after Jane gets married to Thor and becomes queen, we'd still be in the same social circle." Loki just nodded as if he understood.)

45. Tell Fury that she's bringing her parents in so that they can meet her boss and that her dad will probably give all the agents there under thirty the shovel talk, most likely. (She can't help it that her first couple jobs had some very attractive guys. The dental plans on those jobs were also very enticing.)

46. Take the Avengers to the movies and then get all the girls talking about all the extremely attractive males (Darcy has great taste in movies…oh look, the plot was good too) and what they'd like to do to said males. (Even Tony was looking shocked by some of what Pepper and Natasha said. It should be noted, Pepper was enjoying it waaaay too much. Revenge is soooo sweet.)

47. Declare a girls' night at the Tower and crack out the vodka and tequila. (There are some things that Darcy didn't want to know about Natasha…and Pepper…and Jane…and Betsey…and Agent Hill (who knew that she could be such a tiger.))

48. Then drop hints about what happened at said girls' night to Tony and Clint. (Turned out to be a good thing that Pepper had Jarvis turn off all security devices that could see or hear anything that was going on.)

49. Attempt to make Bruce hulk out. ("I just wanted to see if Hulk had fluffy hair. You can't see anything in all those security videos.)

50. Admit that she was able to hack into all of the SHIELD computers and that she's something of a computer genius. ("I don't wanna be an agent. These suits are pinching me in places I didn't even know I had.)

So leave a review with what chapter you want first, or if I should just do them in chronological order. There are some (4 -6, 12 & 13, 31 – 33, 47 & 48) that will happen one right after another (or possibly all in the same chapter) due to what the rules are.

Please tell me what you think,

PrincessMnMz