Does Love Always Forget?

Hush now, watch the stars fall
Into a fire wall
I am waiting here
Waiting for you to come home…

And I watch them burn
When will I ever learn?
If I wait it doesn't mean
You will return

-Norah Jones, "Waiting"

Chapter 2: Waiting

Awaking with a jerk, I glare at the alarm clock blaring on the bedside table. Syaoran always joked about how it was so loud it probably woke our neighbors, but I'd always been a deep sleeper and had occasionally slept through it. Now, though…my pregnancy has made me as light of a sleeper as Syaoran is, and I can finally understand how annoying this damn thing probably was to him. Reaching out, I smack harder than is necessary and send the alarm clock skittering to the floor, where it unfortunately doesn't break into pieces. Rolling onto my back, I grab the package of crackers I keep beside the bed and force a few down, slowly sitting up in bed. When I decide it is safe to get up, I make a trip to the kitchen to heat some water, and then go to empty my screaming bladder. This has all become routine to me: wake up, force crackers down and get out of bed slowly, followed by a trip to the bathroom and a mug of ginger tea. My morning sickness got ridiculous, and I actually wound up losing ten pounds before I figured out this little schedule. I hate it; I hate the crackers and I hate the ginger tea, but if it keeps me from puking and dry heaving for thirty minutes in the morning I'll gladly take it.

Glancing at the clock, I urge myself to hurry up, because today is my first ultrasound. I already had to call and reschedule the appointment once due to my sickness; I cannot be late to this one. As I take a shower, I cannot help but think about how this is a moment that should be shared with someone—it should be shared with the child's father. It should be shared with Syaoran.

Thinking about Syaoran makes me want to cry because I miss him, but at the same time thinking about him has always made me smile, too; it is making me feel very bi-polar, though I lean more towards depressed lately. We figured out early on that he forgot his cell phone…or rather, it must have fallen out of his carryon bag because we found it under the edge of the chair in the living room. Then, we tried calling the Li household and found that the number was no longer in service. As the weeks ground past, I became less hopeful of getting in touch with him. And, the one time he tried to call me so far, I was working late and of course had my phone on silent so I missed the call, and the number showed up as 'Private' on my caller ID so I could not call him back. I've listened to the voicemail he left about 5,000 times, but I have no idea what to do next. He has to know about this…but I apparently have no way of directly contacting him. It has been frustrating and tearing me apart inside, to say the least. I'm now twelve weeks pregnant with Syaoran's baby—I'm almost into the second trimester, for God's sake—and he is clueless!

After showering I stand there and stare at myself in the mirror for a moment…there is a definite change in my body shape: I already have a slight bump. Running my hand over my pooch, I sigh before throwing on some clothes, tossing my hair into a ponytail and leaving the apartment. Rushing through endless red lights and traffic I make it to the office building with fifteen minutes to spare. As I close the car door, my mobile rings and I answer without looking at the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mommy! Today's the big day! How are you feeling?" I smile at Tomoyo's enthusiasm. Without her and Eriol, I don't know what I would have done so far.

"So far so good…no puking, at least." The fact that I got eight hours of sleep and am still exhausted, I decide to keep to myself.

"Are you excited to see Peanut?" Tomoyo asks as I stand waiting for the world's slowest elevator. Tomoyo started calling the baby 'Peanut' when she read some article about a week ago about how the fetus was approximately the same size as a peanut and it is starting to stick: she has Eriol doing it now, too.

"I don't think there is a word to describe my current emotional state. Plus, I have to pee like a race horse. Again." The doctor told me that I need a full bladder to get better images, but I think I might explode before we even get that far.

"Well, I can't help you there. But give me a call when you're done and regale me with every detail." I can hear a voice in the background on Tomoyo's side and then she says, "Crap, I'm sorry, I have to go. There is a minor disaster with a client on the floor."

"Don't worry about it. I'm about to the office anyway. I'll talk to you later. Good luck!"

"You, too, honey." Ending the call, I smile as I wonder what constitutes a "disaster" for Tomoyo. She owns her own clothing boutique, and employs the best seamstresses to help her bring her creations to life. I'd be hard pressed to come up with a reason why anybody would ever complain about something Tomoyo created. As I'm thinking about this, I find myself in front of the door into the doctor's office. Creeping into the office right on schedule, I hardly have to wait before I am being called back.

"Sakura Kinomoto?"

"Yes! Here!" Ugh, I sound like a teenager responding to roll call on the first day of school! The nurse smiles at my reaction, and leads me into an exam room.

"Okay, Miss Kinomoto, I just need to get your weight and blood pressure really quick and then I'm going to have you change into the gown that's on the table." She has me stand on the scale and then she pumps the cuff up on my arm, and takes the reading. "Hmm."

"What?" I ask right away.

"Nothing to be too worried about, your blood pressure is 127 over 85, which is a bit high but not worrisome. It might be elevated because you are anxious about your appointment."

"Well, I was definitely worried about getting here this time!" She smiles at me, pats my leg and leaves the room so I can change into the gown. Fifteen minutes later, Dr. Masui enters the room and smiles a greeting.

"Hello, Sakura. How are you feeling today?"

"I'm feeling decent. I've had a really hard time with the morning sickness recently—it has definitely intensified. I have it mostly under control in the morning, but in the early evening it is really bad. And my exhaustion is out of control. If left to my own devices, I could probably sleep all night and day and still be tired. And my clothes all feel tight on me. Other than my more stretchy clothes, nothing fits right!"

Dr. Masui nods her head and takes some notes on my chart. "Okay, so you've had some intense sickness and fatigue. We'll measure the baby when we do the ultrasound to make sure he's developmentally where he should be—we might have to adjust your due date a bit. And I see you have an elevated blood pressure. We're going to keep a very close eye on that, because high blood pressure can be a sign of more severe problems. It is nothing to worry about right now—it is just borderline high, but I'm going to want you to stay on top of that. Anything else? No abdominal pain or bleeding? Headaches? Indigestion?"

"Nope."

"Okay, great. We're going to go ahead and take this baby's first photo, sound good?"

"Sounds wonderful." As I'm saying this, I can feel that my smile is strained. It isn't that I don't want to see my baby—I'm excited about this pregnancy, and I definitely want this baby; I just wish that Syaoran was here with me. He should be here. Everything is harder when he isn't here.

"This is going to be cold." Dr. Masui says as she raises the gown and squeezes gel onto my abdomen, and then she proceeds with the ultrasound. Right away, I hear the heartbeat…but it sounds odd to me, like it is echoing or something. Please don't let anything be wrong, I pray, wringing my hands together as I stare at the screen, having no clue what I'm looking at.

"Well how 'bout that." Dr. Masui points to the screen. "See this right here?" I nod. "And this here?" I nod again, too afraid to open my mouth. "Those are your babies."

"Babies…plural?" I blurt out, my stomach churning almost painfully.

"Yes, twins. Listen, you can hear the two heartbeats." We are both quiet as I listen to my children's hearts race. "It is too early to determine gender, and I cannot tell you right now whether they are fraternal or identical. There is a membrane separating them, but it is pretty thin so we'll just have to wait a few more weeks to see if we can't figure out the gender." Dr. Masui moves the wand around, taking pictures and easing most of my worries.

"They look perfectly healthy so far. They are a good size, especially for multiples. This would help to explain your extreme symptoms and the fact that you are starting to show, too. Women pregnant with multiples often complain of more severe fatigue and morning sickness, and they start looking pregnant earlier. This also makes me all the more insistent that we keep an eye on that blood pressure, though." I'm still sitting in shock. It was hard enough when I thought it was going to be just one child…but two? Shit, we have to get in touch with Syaoran. At the same time, though, I cannot help but be excited. This pregnancy just got very real for me.

Dr. Masui finishes up the visit and lets me go. I leave the office in a daze, my head somewhere else entirely. There is no way I can drive home right now, so I walk to the shopping center down the way and sit at a table at an outdoor cafe as I stare at the photos of my children…mine and Syaoran's children. I don't even realize I'm crying until my waitress asks if I'm all right.

"No. But I will be, don't worry." I reassure her, forcing a smile and wiping the tears from my face. She gives me an unsure smile and goes to attend to another table. Once she is out of earshot, I get out my mobile and dial a familiar number. There is no more putting this off; my pregnancy is already starting to show, and it will only get worse from here on out.

"Kinomoto residence."

"Hi, Daddy."

"Sakura, hello. What are you up to? I thought you'd be at work."

"No…I have the day off today. Listen, I need to talk to you. What are you up to today?"

"Well, I'm home today. I've been packing, getting ready to go to that dig in Kenya." Oh, yeah. I'd forgotten Dad would be leaving for a dig. "You're more than welcome to come over any time you want, though. Are you all right, Sakura?"

"Yeah, Daddy, I'm fine. I'm…I'll see you in a little while."

"Okay." Dad sounds a little surprised. It isn't often that I'm so short on the phone, especially with him. Leaving some money on the table, I walk back to my car and before I know it, find myself in front of the house I grew up in. With a deep breath, I make my way into the house, announcing my arrival while I toss down my purse and keys. Dad appears from the kitchen.

"Hey, sweetie. That didn't take long."

"No, well…I wasn't at the apartment when I called."

"Ah. So what did you want to talk to me about?" He gestures to the living room, and I head that way as I begin talking. I'm not really sure why I'm so nervous about talking to my dad…Touya is the one that is going to give me grief.

"Um…you see…it's sort of…a long story."

"For you, Sakura, I have all day." Sometimes I wonder if Dad is so cool about things because he knows that Touya and I will be super hard on ourselves. Dad sits down on the couch; I sit next to him and heave a big sigh before I start talking.

"Okay…you know that Syaoran left for Hong Kong about a month ago."

"Yes. I remember you were very upset because you didn't get to see him off, and you haven't been able to get in touch with him since."

"That's right. What you don't know is that…when Syaoran left, the reason I was late getting to the airport?" My voice fades, and I stare at my hands in my lap. Dad lets me regroup without comment, and finally I look up, meeting his eyes. "I had a doctor's appointment that took a lot longer than I thought it would."

"And what did you find out at this appointment?" There is a hint of fear in Dad's voice, which spurs me into just blurting my news out.

"I-I'm pregnant." Dad visibly deflates, putting his head in his hands for a second before he sits up straight again.

"Is that all?" I nod. "Thank God. I thought you were about to tell me you had cancer or were sick with some incurable illness." I suppose, after what happened to Mom, he would worry about something like that.

"Oh, it gets better." He gives me his attention again. "I was at the doctor earlier…for my first ultrasound."

"Really? How far along are you?"

"I'm twelve weeks pregnant with twins, Daddy." This causes him to falter for a moment.

"And Syaoran doesn't know about any of this?"

"No. I didn't get to tell him before he left…and I knew this was going to happen before he left!" Dad gives me a funny look. "That I wouldn't be able to get in touch with him. It's how it has always been. When Syaoran is in Hong Kong, under the thumb of the Li Clan, he might as well have disappeared off the face of the earth." Dad remains quiet, staring off into space, and finally I cannot hold myself together—what can I say, I'm overflowing with hormones! With tears leaking down my face, I timidly ask, "You don't hate me now, do you Daddy?"

"Of course not, Sakura! You're my daughter; you know I'll support you no matter what. I'm just worried about you. This is a lot to be dealing with. And you still have to tell Touya." I cringe at that. Dad reaches over and pulls me into his side, wrapping his arms around me in a much needed hug. Enveloped in my dad's arms, I finally crack and let loose my sobs, turning my head to bury it in his chest. He just lets me cry.

After literally crying myself to exhaustion at Dad's, he insisted I stay there for the night. I acquiesced after I ran into the wall walking into the kitchen, and spent the evening showing Dad the ultrasound pictures and being distracted from my troubles helping Dad prepare for his dig. This morning, I woke up feeling much better about everything. Even my morning sickness decided to take the day off. Wishing Dad a safe trip, I'd got into the car and driven to meet up with Tomoyo at a café for breakfast. Which is where I currently am—sitting at the table waiting for Tomoyo to get here. It is not very normal for me to be early and her late, though.

"Hey, girl! Look at you, all punctual!" I laugh as Tomoyo takes a seat across from me. "Okay, let's see it!"

"See what?"

"See what she says! Peanut—my niece or nephew!" With a smirk, I reach into my purse and hand over the photos. "Wow…I have no idea what I'm looking at." Laughing, I reach out and turn the top photo right side up.

"I love you, Tomoyo. The world would be a sad place without you." She rolls her eyes at me and raises an expectant eyebrow. I reach out and point to one of the photos.

"Well, this right here is a niece or nephew."

"Oh! They're so tiny!"

"And this," I point again, "is your other niece or nephew." Tomoyo's head shoots up at that, her mouth hanging open.

"Are you saying what I think you are?"

"If you think I'm saying I'm having twins, then yes."

"Oh my God!" Tomoyo squeals, fanning her face with the hand not holding the photos. "Two peanuts! This is so exciting! How much longer until we can find out what they are?"

"Not for another eight weeks, Tomoyo."

"Darn. Well, I suppose they are stuck with Peanut for now!" Tomoyo tears her eyes from the pictures and must catch something on my face. "What's the matter?"

"I just…this is hard, Tomoyo."

"Is this about Syaoran?"

"Yes. Look at them, Tomoyo! They are ours—his and mine. He doesn't even know they exist!"

"Well, we'll do something about that. As soon as we finish eating we'll go to the apartment and send him an e-mail."

"I don't want to tell him—"

"We aren't going to tell him about the peanuts in the e-mail, Sakura. We're going to set up a time for him to call…that way, you'll be sure to answer the phone." It's the best idea anybody has had since it became clear the phone was not going to work.

"Actually, before we do that, do you think you could go with me to see Touya?"

"Are you finally going to tell him? Have you told your dad yet?"

"I told Dad yesterday after my appointment. And yes, I'm finally going to tell Touya, but I'd rather not go there alone. Granted, I'll have Yukito there as support, but this is going to be news to him, as well. I'd really rather have an ally going into this."

Laughing, Tomoyo says, "You make this sound like peace negotiations in the Middle East! It is just Touya! I'd be the first to say that he's overprotective, but he is your brother, and while he may be angry at first, he'll get over it."

"I know I'm being a wuss."

"Well, you said it, not me. Besides, you aren't being a wuss, you're being irrational. Touya is not going to disown you or anything. The only person that had to be worried isn't here." She is right, and I know she is. Syaoran is the one that Touya will want to tear apart, and he is safely in Hong Kong…possibly the only good thing about that. We finish up breakfast and Tomoyo accompanies me to Touya and Yukito's apartment.

Knocking on the door, I step back and bite my lip. Tomoyo notices and lightly smacks me on the arm. "Sakura, seriously, calm down!" Shaking her head, we both turn to the door when it opens to reveal Yukito.

"Sakura, Tomoyo, what a surprise! Come in!" He steps back and opens the door more to admit us. "What brings you here?"

"Sakura has something she needs to talk to you and Touya about."

"Sure, let me get Touya. Make yourselves at home," Yukito says as he walks further into the apartment. Tomoyo grabs my arm and drags me into the living room. Perhaps she somehow knew that I was thinking of turning tail and running.

"What brings you here so early, Monster?" Touya asks as he and Yukito come into the room to join us.

"Funny, Touya."

"Well?"

Sighing, I look at Tomoyo, who crosses her arms. I'm on my own for this part. "Okay…I have something I need to tell you, but you have to promise you won't overreact or get mad." He looks confused, and doesn't reply right away. "Touya? Promise!"

"Yeah sure, I promise. Now what is going on?"

With a deep breath, I say, "I'm pregnant." Touya and Yukito both look dumbfounded. "With twins," I add, and this seems to push Touya into action again.

"You…you're pregnant? How long?!"

"I am twelve weeks along." Touya had been pacing, but at this, he turns and stares at me in astonishment.

"And I'm just now finding out!"

"Well, I only told Dad yesterday. I sort of…I wanted to tell Syaoran first, but…I need you and Dad, so I couldn't put off telling you any longer."

"Wait wait wait…Syaoran doesn't know yet?"

"No. He had to go back to Hong Kong, remember? And I didn't know before…I was at the doctor the day he flew out. And the Li Clan…well, it is impossible to get in touch with Syaoran when he's there."

"Are you shitting me?! I'll go to China myself and drag that brat back here! I can't—"

"Touya! Calm down!" Yukito intervenes. "Can't you see that your sister is upset and scared? She needs you to not blow a gasket this time. She needs you to support her." After pacing for a minute, Touya seems to have calmed down enough to think rationally.

"Sakura, you know you can count on me. I'm here whenever you need me." He pulls me into a hug, and I cling to him.

"Do you think four movies are enough?" Tomoyo asks as she comes in the door of the apartment weighed down by several bags.

"Four? I sure hope so. What else do you have?"

"Snacks."

"Um, Tomoyo, we have noodles, remember? We stood in line to get them..?"

"I remember, Sakura. I just figured we might want something to munch on during the movies."

Tomoyo puts in the first movie, some popular vampire romance, and we sit down with our ramen to watch it. It becomes clear five minutes into the movie that it is not only a crappy story line, but also some of the worst acting we've seen since Gigli…and we didn't even see that movie—the previews were enough. We spend the entire movie mocking everything. When it finally ends, Tomoyo puts in the next DVD but does not press play. Instead, she directs me to my laptop and commands me to write the e-mail to Syaoran.

"I don't know what to say, though."

"Well…I don't know, either." With a groan, I just start writing.

Syaoran,

I hope that this finds you in good health. I myself have not been doing so well… I'm not really sure how to go about this in an e-mail. To be honest, this makes me feel awkward, but here goes. I've tried to call you, but your cell phone is here and I cannot get through any other way, so this is my last resort short of coming to Hong Kong. It is really important that you call me, Syaoran. And since I don't know what your schedule is looking like, I'll give you a few times that you are guaranteed to catch me: Anytime tomorrow (Sunday), Monday after 6:30, or Wednesday between 1 and 4. I hope to talk to you soon.

Love,

Sakura

"There…how is that?" Tomoyo reads the message over my shoulder.

"Looks good to me. Hit send." I do as she says, and then immediately begin worrying about everything I said, how long it will take for him to receive this, and when he will respond. Tomoyo, I'm sure, senses that I am going into anxiety overdrive and distracts me with more movies and food. She is actually fairly successful at distracting me, as when I drift off to sleep some time during the fourth movie, all I'm thinking about is how weird the screenwriter must be.

Weeks pass by, each one killing more and more of my hope that Syaoran is going to call. After that first week passed with no word, I broke down and told Kero what was going on. He predictably went off on a tangent about how he told me so and that Syaoran is a good for nothing blah blah blah. Needless to say, we got into a fight and Kero is now staying with Touya and Yukito, where I'm sure he is driving Yue crazy and plotting bodily harm to Syaoran with Touya. Now that Kero isn't here, it is really lonely in the apartment. Most nights I find myself breaking down and listening to Syaoran's voicemail…

"Sakura… Syaoran. It's been really chaotic here—things are more mixed up than they let on when I was called back. I miss you, and I can't wait to see you again, or to just hear your voice." Somebody says something to him in the background. "I have to go. I love you." Then he hangs up.

I know that I'm probably only making myself more depressed, but I can't help myself. Hearing his voice makes me feel better temporarily, and then the message ends and everything crashes down on me again. Nothing makes sense to me, anymore; I don't understand what has happened, though I have my theories. Eriol and Tomoyo pretty much agree with me when I rant about the Li Clan being up to something. There is no reason that Syaoran should have so thoroughly disappeared from my grasp, unless they made it happen.

Everyone is worried about me—even my doctor. I'm too thin, and I always look so pale in the mirror. Plus, my blood pressure has continued to go up and I've started to get headaches, which seriously concerns my doctor. Tomoyo has tried everything to cheer me up, but short of conjuring Syaoran I can't help but feel her efforts are in vain. Finally, three and a half weeks after I sent the message, the phone rings. However, it is not who I was wishing on the other end.

"Hello?"

"Sakura?" A strange voice enquires. For reasons I will never understand but always thank, I press the button and record the call.

"Yes…who is this?"

"This is Yelan Li."

Author's Note: So! Sorry this was delayed. I'm pretty much always crazy busy, and then on top of my normal schedule I was watching the NCAA Basketball Tourney until last weekend...when my beloved UK Wildcats lost. I think it is funny that they are my team of choice, since I never went to UK. It is because, when I lived in Kentucky it was the first place I lived that was so into college basketball, and my friends there got me excited about it. Ever since, I've rooted for the Cats. Anyway, I actually finished up this chapter a few days ago but just did not get around to posting it until today. Let me know what you think! I love feedback, guys! Later, Gilly