A/N: Hello! I hope you like this! My friend loves this pairing, so I wrote this for her…! ;D But you have to agree… They are so cute together! :3 On with the story!

Syo pov:

'I can't believe it's been 11 years and I haven't realized it sooner especially when Natsuki used to dress me up in those frilly dresses and kiss me when we were younger and Satsuki beat me up for telling him I liked it... I thought it was innocent back then... but now that I think about it m-maybe I am gay' I sat on my bunk of our shared room, Natsuki sleeping below me. 'I can't believe that bastard Ai made us do this. I mean it's our room what right does he have just because he's a "professional" and anyway as Ren says we just as good as them.' I looked over at him 'well he is kind of cute...' I realized what I said and shook my head. 'WHAT THE HELL why am I thinking like that...well he is... but I don't have to admit that to myself...or do I...ah hell I don't understand being gay!' I sat up and threw my hat on its rack, turned my lamp off and rolled over in bed. 'Well let the nightmare begin...'

The next morning:

I woke up to Natsuki alarm clock going off. "Hey turn it off...I'm trying to sleep up here." I said half asleep, throwing a pillow at his face. Not knowing I accidentally knocked his glasses off... 'Aww crap why do I have to deal with this so early in the morning.' I thought as Satsuki doing his morning routine of beating on me. I finally somehow managed to get his glasses back on, he flopped back in bed and went back to sleep. I looked at the clock 7:46 am it blinked. I sat on my bed and swung my legs off the side swinging them slightly. Ai sat up in his bed rubbing his eye. "What's all that noise you little brat." he said sleepily the side of his shirt coming off. ''what do you think...the same thing as every morning..." I sighed and jumped off my bed as he got up. I got dressed into a pair of dark jeans, high-top converse, a dark purple tank top and a black jacket with pink trim on it, I grabbed my hat I was wearing last night and started to walk out the door. "Wait." I heard and turned around, I saw Ai buttoning up his jacket, and "where are you going shorty." he said walking up behind me. "I'm going to go get a coffee then go to work... is there a problem with that..." I grumbled hoping he wouldn't piss me off this morning, he was starting to but then the thought about how cute his messy hair looked flashed through my mind. I blushed and turned away. He grabbed my hand to stop me. "I'll go with you..." he said I blushed another shade of red."It's easier this way...Syo..." he whispered in my ear still holding my hand. "y-you idiot let go of me...fine you can come with me just don't embarrass me." I said pulling my hand from his. He smiled "wouldn't dream of it shorty." he said closing the door to the room.

At the coffee shop:

We sat at a table in the back of the room, it was dimly lit and there wasn't that many people there which shocked me. Ai sat across from me staring at me. i got chills down my back, "w-what are you looking at, you're the one who wanted to come with me..." I said getting irritated at him and the way he made me feel. I know you hate me shorty..." he said smirking. i looked at him, "u-uhm not necessarily." I blushed slightly. He smirked wider, "we better get going if you need to get to work." he stood up and winked at me then walked out. I sat there my face burning red. 'Why can't I move, what did he do to me. What does he mean to me... is he just my senior or something more...I-is this...what l-love is.' i thought to myself my eyes widened at my realization. Ai walked back in and this time some girls giggled as he walked by, and back to me. "Hey you ok?" he said looking at me, putting his hand on the table "Yo shorty!" he said a little louder. Suddenly I felt a burning sensation on my hand, I looked down and noticed the person who had just passed us had hit the table and knocked my coffee on the side of my hand..." OWOWOWOWOWOW!" I screamed holding my hand, tears started swelling in my eyes. Ai suddenly took my hand and put the side of my hand in his mouth trying to relieve the burning. I looked at him blushing, he had his eyes closed and continued sucking. People were starting to stair but I didn't care, he looked absolutely adorable, wanted to take my hand away and kiss those perfect lips. 'So cute...again! what in the hell is wrong with my brain...b-but he is...but i can't let him know i like him... or can I... no that's against the rules... it'll get me kicked out of STARISH forever...and besides this is my dream there will be time for relationships after we get the Uta Pri award...' I thought to myself, I hadn't realized that I was staring at Ai for so long. I pulled my hand away "U-uhm...w-we should go." I said standing up, he looked down at me then we walked out... he didn't say another word to me till that's nights practice...

"Why don't you tell everyone your secret between us shorty..." Ai said leaning against the piano smirking. "w-what in the hell are you talking about you bastard...t-there's nothing going on between us...what in the hell would give you that idea." I said trying not to be nervous. "...Syo-kun if there is we will understand..." Nanami said, Ittoki arm draped over her shoulder. Ittoki smiled at him and everyone nodded. "W-well there's nothing going on between me and Ai b-but I-I'm gay..." the room went silent. Even Natsuki didn't say anything which means it's serious... "s-since when..." Ren and Masa said at the same time. "U-uhm I just o-only realized it a few weeks ago..." I blushed getting really embarrassed that they were reacting this way. 'I expected this after all this is the typical reaction to 'coming out of the closet', speech to your friends...now here comes the part where they say they don't want anything to do with me and will kick me out of the band...I cant...I-it's my dream to become an idol... and with it being an all guys group they probably don't want me here anymore... I'll get replaced and will have to leave the master course...I can't...I won't...' I thought to myself. "Well then..." Natsuki turned serious yet he still had his glasses on. "Tokiya...the other side of your room is empty since Otoya moved in with Haru-chan right?" Natsuki said looking at the dark purpled haired guy, even for him this was a shock. All he did was nod. "Would it be ok if I moved in with you." he said hurt in his eyes. "I'm going to still be your partner for the band but other than at practice and performances and at work...we will have zero contact other than that...I'm sorry Syo-kun..." Natsuki left the room. Tears welled up in my eyes..."you all hate me now right..." I started shaking with anger and sadness. No one said anything... "S-Syo-kun..." Nanami said walking towards me. "NO!...don't come any closer..." she took her hand away as I yelled... I suddenly started to run I didn't know where I was going I just knew I needed to get away from the people I cared the most for...

In Syo and Ai's room: (if you don't like blood and cutting don't read this part!)

I walked in and all of Natsuki stuff was gone, my mouth hung wide open, I ran to the bathroom, turned the shower on so Ai wouldn't hear me crying, I sat in the corner and cried my eyes out and throwing my guts up, I started to dry heave when there was nothing left inside of me, I started to shake violently tears streaming down my face. I didn't know what to do now, what more pain could i cause myself, then I suddenly remembered this thing I saw in a movie Natsuki made me watch. I found the energy to pull myself up off the ground and search through the cabinets of the sink...'No...No...No...Ah! There it is!...' I thought as i saw a small pocket knife, the silver blade gleaming a little in the steam filled room. i also picked up some broken razor blades from the ledge of the cabinet. i opened the blade of the knife and stared at my reflection in it, I put it down to my wrist and put a little pressure on it and sliced into my soft skin, it felt like a little pinch at first then it started to burn and sting but it was a good burning sensation, 'this feels so good...' I thought to myself as my blood started to stain the floor and my clothes. i took my jacket off and my shirt and went back to my little corner. i slowly put the 5 rusted blades into my wrist letting them sit there being careful not to hit a vein. I started to get a little light headed with my blood running down my arms... I heard the door knob start to turn... I started to panic as the door creaked open... 'Ah! What in the hell am I going do...' I thought frozen in my place...

To be continued...

A/N: I hope you liked! ^_^ Please review!