Rinnosuke: *walks in with just his underwear while drinking coffee, sees you, spits out the coffee* What the Hell is going on here?! Are we doing another chapter? Why wasn't I told about this!?

Sanae: It's not. We're just giving your fangirls some eye-candy.

Rinnosuke: I have fangirls? Well tell them they're too late, I already have-

Sanae: Of course not.

Rinnosuke: ... What? Then why would you tell me I had them?

Sanae: Because you're an assbutt that's rude to the audience.

Rinnosuke: Well I'm not feeling bad for being tricked.

Sanae: Good, because it's time for the next chapter.

Rinnosuke: Wait, what? WHAT!? I wasn't given time to prepare for a pre-chapter quip.

Sanae: No one cares. Besides, Shinki is planning on talking about her life as a mother-in-law.

Shinki: So I thought that making Alice and the Proofreader get married would solve my problems. But then it only encouraged them to be even more uninhibited! They started doing it in the kitchen, in public restrooms, in my bed; you name it! What can I do to make it stop?

Eirin: INVOKUM GIGANTUS IN MY PANTUS!

Shinki: Sometimes I wonder why I even bother talking to you.

The Secret History

The dirt grinds under foot as I walk on it. This road is leading me away from the Human Village and towards the Forest of Magic. I am exiting Human Territory and entering Youkai Territory. I am a human, therefore I must be on guard. I am not human, therefore I can relax. I have two conflicting thoughts, and their conflict disorients me.

You know, being a newborn entity isn't the best of things aside from confirming the fact you're alive. For instance, am I the shop owner, Rinnosuke Morichika? Or am I the vengeful spirit of the former member of the Secret History Association that possessed him an hour ago? Perhaps I am both, perhaps I am neither. I have both of their memories, two sets which conflict with each other.

Rinnosuke Morichika was raised by his human grandparents as his youkai mother abandoned him to the mercy of the Human Village. He wasn't the only half-human, yet he believed that the humans of the Human Village were disturbed by his lack of aging. And so he left to live a secluded life on the border of the Forest of Magic. For a time, the most company he'd get were annoying fairies, a human girl who was the daughter of a man whom he owed his life to, and the monster that spawned him.

That monster, Rumia she was called, was much shorter than he imagined. The two did not get along at all, making the reunion unpleasant. The animosity between the two was removed when his mother presented him with a gift, a magical rock.

Ha! He didn't realize that the purpose of the darkness enchanted item was to ensure that he procreates. But in spite of all the women flirting with him, he only saw his circumstances as an annoyance.

The vengeful spirit part in me thinks that it makes him a total loser.

And now with that magical rock being at Rinnosuke's shop along with a Tengu standing-in for him, Rinnosuke is liable to be robbed. Chances are that all he'll have when he returns to his shop are the delusions of grandeur as the female interest in him drops astronomically.

Granted, he has that blue haired school teacher who he met up with in the Human Village. The vengeful spirit respects him, if mildly, for being able to get engaged to her of all people. And as a half-human, he might survive that event humanity is planning for youkai that has been set into motion. But still, combining his natural good looks with the amplifying power of the gift from his mother, he should have ruled Gensokyo.

Of course, Rinnosuke doesn't like the idea of his body being hijacked by a spiritual parasite made of negative emotion and being forced to fade with it into the subconscious of a new entity.

I have arrived at my home, the antique shop Kourindou. Entering it, I meet the Tengu who has given me the chance to meet my beloved Keine.

"Hello? Mr. Tengu? I'm back."

"You're late, Mr. Hybrid. You said you'd be back in a week, and that was two weeks ago."

We talked for less than half an hour, he informed me of an agreement made with Marisa. And I gave him a book that I, the Rinnosuke Morichika half, managed to get my hands on.

But it is not until after I see the Tengu off that I decide to look for a special item that I-er, Rinnosuke, had in his possession. As suspected, the item was missing. Other items were missing as well, but nothing that could have bent all female youkai and humans in Gensokyo to my whim. But it was of little consequence. With less women to bother me, I would have more time to save myself and my dear Keine-I mean half-beast companion.

My kinsmen in the Human Village will surely not forgive me of my condition for having even the slightest amount of youkai blood in my veins, and I am in no position to stop their plans. But that doesn't mean that they are not undefeatable, far from it. Whether the Youkai cease existence or the Secret History Association falls, I will come out on top in the end. She may not forgive me but keeping my beloved Keine out of harm's way, out of the way of my kinsmen, is the necessity I must act on if I want to ensure my victory.

First, I will need sake that has been poured into the Ibaraki Box of a Hundred Medicines.

"Excuse me?" The woman who asked for my attention had light purple wavy hair, and dark purple eyes. She wore a dark blue headdress, and her long sleeved white dress had blue trim at the bottom. Lastly, she was accompanied by a pink haze.

"For you, Miss Kumoi," I said with a smile as a plan came to mind, "One thing that's for sale, whatever it is you want. In return..."

...

Despite some people mistaking her for a youkai magician, Marisa Kirisame was a just a human with an innately powerful ability to use magic. However, even with lack of refinement and grace, her knowledge allowed her to overcome short comings, making her the greatest human magician her age. And when adding her powerful ability over magic, she surpassed even some youkai magicians.

So what was this powerful woman doing? Was she researching new ways to turn her enemies into frogs? Was she preparing to rend reality and force its fragments to bow to her whim? Was she empowering other humans so that they too could match the youkai without the aid of deities?

No, she was lovestruck and hoping to ensure that she got the man she so desired. Today was the day she was promised to be allowed to go on a date with her beloved, and she was not willing to let anything stop her. It was rumored that he was now dating a certain green haired youkai woman, but Marisa could just steal him away if it came down to that. She always had backup plans; new clothing styles, books on male psychology, Phantasm Level Spellcards...

"Kourin!" she shouted as she threw open the doors to her beloved's home. "I'm here for that date you promised me!"

She then paused. Of course, she didn't expect to see what lay before her.

While he wore the same blue and black style of clothing the shop owner she desired did; his giant, pink and fluffy body betrayed his true nature. Not to mention his face was that of an old, bearded man and he was missing the entire lower half of his body.

The dusty gibus did a terrible job hiding his bald head.

"Ah, dearest Marisa!" the pink man boomed, his voice several octaves lower than her husband-to-be, "I've been waiting for you!"

"You're not Kourin!" the black-white woman said as she drew her trademark Hakkero and opened fire on the youkai.

Fin.

Apologies to you all for forgetting this part. Thank you, Kai, Acha and Vulcan.

Everyone, ROCK ON!