Disclaimer... First of all....the obligatory disclaimer, without which I might possibly find my ass being sued by JKR!!! (They wouldn't get much...I'm happy because I'm poor.) But anyway, just to point out the obvious, I am in fact not JKR (shocked aren'tcha?) and so none of these here characters are mine. Thanks for listening!

Warning... Ok, this body of writing that will follow is slash. For those who don't know, slash deals with relationships between two (or more) people of the male variety. For those of you who are now going "Ick! Ptooy!! Sick!", please leave now before your poor little minds are corrupted!!! *Points to the back button* However, for those of you like me, (i.e. for whom it is too late...the slash has already turned you into a 'shipping eccentricity) come in further! *Beckons* Find a comfortable seat and enjoy! *Hands out little finger foods*

Dedication... As ever, where would a good fic be without a dedication? A writer cannot be inspired by shag-pile carpet alone!!! A writer needs other things! *Looks confused at herself for a second* Anyway...this fic is dedicated to the indomitable Bally. *liick* Aside from being dead cute, little an' lovely, she also agreed with me that this pairing is "so pretty!!" and encouraged me to write it. Je t'aime ma petite loupe!!

Randomness... The start of this fic is the last part of the Marauder's sixth year of Hogwarts. The main body if it deals with the summer between their sixth and seventh years. This being the case Remus is 17 during most of this fic (i.e. well above the legal age of consensual sex) so nothing dealt with here is illegal. (In the UK anyway, which is where this is set and where I am from). This is all from Remus' point of view in the first person.

~ Prologue ~

It was the last day of Hogwarts before we all left to go home for the summer and I was watching Sirius lean in and kiss the pretty brunette on his arm. I could have closed my eyes and still seen in horrible clarity the exact positions of their arms about each other, his strong dark-haired skin light against her black robes. The girl, a Gryffindor in the year below us, was watching Sirius with adoring eyes. I wanted to be sick.

Sirius continued. "So I'm sorry I didn't tell you all about Sophie. I wanted to make sure we would work out without all the pressure before I told you. I didn't want you to think that this was just another fling."

I eyed the girl carefully. She was very small with short dark hair and a slightly elfin face. No. This was not usual for Sirius. His girlfriends lasted for hours, possibly even days, but never the month and a half he said he had been with this girl. He was quite clearly in love. I knew the signs. I had been displaying them myself for the last two years.

This was not the way it was meant to be! The Universe should not work this way. It was meant to be that I loved Sirius secretly, and vice versa. Then one day, when there had been suitable angst and we had both given up that our love could ever be requited, something would force us to admit feelings long hidden. Then we would spend the rest of our lives happy together. Peter, James and I had even discussed the possibility of Sirius being gay due to the high volume of women to whom he could not commit. Now my every hope and dream of our future happiness was dashed and I tried to hide my pain behind a smile for my friend. I glanced upwards, hoping that whoever was up there knew what they were doing.

James stepped forward to sling his arm around Sirius' shoulder. He was grinning from ear to ear, congratulating Sirius on finding someone to put up with him. I also added some suitably congratulatory but simultaneously mock-insulting comment. All the time I could not tear my eyes from the beautiful hand resting on this interloper's waist. As Sirius leaned in to kiss her again I literally felt my heart break. I could not watch any more. Making my excuses I ran from the dorm.