Not a something she would regret.

Pairing: One-sided John/Bonnie

Disclaimer: Not my game

Summary: Bonnie MacFarlane is not your average woman and she is very happy with the life she has, but she still has something she wants.

Bonnie Macfarlane. A woman ahead of her time. Independent. In control. Almost mannish in her determination to wear that pants-skirts. A woman that could be surrounded by men and not be afraid. She was not to most people a real woman. She was something in the middle. Now that she thirty-five with no prospects that weren't looking for a large farm or widowed and looking for something with low expectations, she more or less kept to herself.

The only man she looked forward to was that reformed outlaw. That married- reformed outlaw. She had to remind herself of that fact.

"Miss Bonnie." The men tipped there hats as she took off for the carriage house. She could only spare a nodded as she picked up the pace. News traveled fast and he was back in town again.

She arrived just in time. She leaned casually on the post like she been there all day. He stepped out in the sun. He was as rugged as the landscape and that made him more appealing. "Why isn't John Marston? Looking for some work?"

"Miss Macfarlane." He tipped his hat. "That eager to hire me?"

"We have had a problem with some cattle rustlers coming at night. I do what I can, but I can always use a hand."

He gave her crooked smile. "I think I can help out a little."

"Great." She turned to leave. "We'll I have other some things I need to check on. I'll see you tonight, I'm sure you will keep busy."

"Yes, ma'am," she heard his boots as he walked off.

She made her way to horses. At least night patrol would be good.

That night as she stood by the stalls she shifted her weight from foot to foot. He was a few minutes late. God knew why she wanted to do this. It was stupid, it was just he treated her like a woman. He was all gentle-like despite her rebuffs and claims. That was nice. Even as a younger woman she never received that attention. Always a girl from town that was prettier, gentler, and dressed up. She was a rancher's daughter and would always be that.

"Bonnie." He carried his gun on his shoulder. She could not be mad when he called her Bonnie only her father and brothers did that and it was just something intimate about it.

"Come on, John. The night is young." The pair made their paces around. Staying together despite losing the efficiency of splitting up.

After some time he spoke up, "Pretty quiet only a few rabbits." He had taken the creatures out. "Good to sell." He explained, but God she would bought those if she could find them in a store. She was in over her head on this one.

"Yeah. But it is nice." She slowed her pace and he matched hers.

"Is some wrong, Miss Bonnie."

"No."

He hummed quietly. "When Abigail gets this quiet- not that she does that much- something is wrong. So, what is it?"

"How did you know you were in love?"

He looked taken back. "Um... I just could stand the idea of anyone else touching her. I wanted to settle for the first time in my life and keep her by my side." He shifted weight. Apparently, he never really had to answer that.

"I see." She took a step to continue to walk.

"So, who is the lucky man?"

"A small time farmer and part-time rancher."

"Ah. What did he do to impress you?" His tone was a little lighter like it was a joke.

"It is silly." He nodded waiting for more. "He treats me like a lady. A real lady, not like a woman."

"That's' good. I hope that works out for Bonnie. You deserve that. Trust me, life is too lonely to try and go alone." His tone was gentle almost like a father. She imagined this was the voice he used with his son.

"You miss her?" God, she was a glutton for pain. She knew the answer and just wanted to nail the coffin shut,

"Everyday." He said quietly. They had finished a round. They kept walking in silence.

The light of dawn was coming over the hills. She stretched. "Goodnight, Mr. Marston."

"Miss Macfarlane." He turned to leave her on the porch.

Something in her snapped. "John." He turned to her. She took a step off the porch. It felt like more of leap of faith. She kissed him on the corner of the mouth. She pulled back before he could push he away. Her eyes fell to the ground. "I had to try, before... I would regret it." There were many things she regretted, but this would not be one. He might leave a while but she could hope that he would come back like a stallion.

"Goodnight, Bonnie." He shouldered his shotgun and headed to stables. No words but she knew what it meant.

She turned back to her home and went in. Her father greeted her in the hall.

"My Bonnie girl." He must of saw it all.

"I know... That he is...and I..." She was at lose for the words. He pulled her into a hug. It is alright. "He is a good man. I just wish that he could be yours, for your sake."

"Thanks." She curled to him as he pet her blond hair.

She was Bonnie Macfarlane the daughter of rancher, a single woman, a crack shot with a mouth just as fast. But sometimes in the middle of the night she wished she was anyone else, but she would rise with sun and knew things would not change and that she a ranch to take care of.

A/N: I loved Bonnie since I saw her and John. Yet I can barely find a few videos and fanfics. So, I wanted to show my support.