Jackson can't take his eyes of her, she looks like all her dreams just came true. He should be happy for her, it's his job as her long standing best friend, right? But he can't stop the lump from forming in his throat, the pain as his heart splits down the middle and the overpowering feeling of emptiness as it floods his soul. He's lost her.

April feels like she is on top of the world, she is engaged to the man of her dreams. As Matthew spins her around once more, she glances at all her colleagues who are clapping and cheering. It feels like the movies and she's the leading lady. April' eyes search for Jackson in the crowd. When she spots him, a weird feeling creeps over her. It's like her heart is doing a somersault inside her chest but she immediately tells herself it's because of the events of the last 5 minutes. She's wrong.

April doesn't have a lot of time to celebrate her engagement. Owen politely reminds those gathered in the ambulance bay that there is a major storm on the way. The crowds quickly disappear and April kisses Matthew goodbye before running off to finish stocking up the ER with vital supplies.

"Can you believe it? Did that actually happen?"

Jackson rolled his eyes as he dragged Stephanie into an on-call room. Yes, he knew a major storm was on its way and as owner of the hospital he should probably NOT be doing THIS right now but he needed a distraction. He just HAD to forget all about the events of earlier on. He HAD to forget about how happy she looked. How happy they BOTH looked. But so far his plan wasn't working!

"That's got to be the cheesiest way to propose, no contest! It was like something out of a Disney movie. Those two are completely perfect for each other, did you see.."

"Stephanie?" Jackson yells, he can't take anyone.

"What? Aren't you happy for them?" Stephanie says as she sits down on the bunk.

"No, I mean Yes. I mean.. I don't know!"

Jackson sighs and sits on the bunk opposite Stephanie.

"What's going on Jackson? I know that you two have history but I thought you would be happy for her."

"I am, I am." Jackson nods, avoiding eye contact. "It's all good. I'm just stressed because of the storm. Can we stop talking now?"

Stephanie looks across at Jackson, puzzled and not quite ready to let this drop.

"There's something not quite right with you. Do you still.."

Jackson acts quickly and pulls his scrub top over his head, giving Stephanie his best smouldering gaze. It works and within seconds she is all over him like a rash, pulling him down onto the bunk.

He tries. He really does try to forget everything, to clear his mind. He uses some of his best moves on Stephanie and he tries to enjoy himself. But he still can't stop thinking. Why can't he stop thinking? Why can't he stop hurting?

"That was amazing!"

As Stephanie collapses on top of him, Jackson simply nods and stares at the bunk above him. He's bumped his head off that bunk many a time recently. This was the least popular on-call room, and Stephanie quite often asked Jackson why they always had to do it in this one. It was the only room with bunks, the others had proper beds. He always avoided answering her question. The answer involved April, and sex. April sex was the best! April. Matthew. Proposal. He's lost her.

"Do you wanna go again?" Stephanie lifts her head and gives Jackson her best puppy eyes. "Please"

Jackson stares straight through Stephanie, his mind completely elsewhere. He has spotted some writing on the bunk above him. He recognises the untidy scrawl.

"Mark N Lexie 4 Eva!"

Jackson becomes lost in his thoughts as he remembers his mentor . He remembers their friendship and the good times they had together. A hundred memories flash by within a few seconds. But one in particular seems to be on a loop, going round and round in his head like a broken record. He can hear Mark's words echoing over and over again in his head...

"I want you to promise me something. If you love someone, you tell them. Even if you're scared that it's not the right thing. Even if you're scared that it will cause problems. Even if you're scared that it will burn your life to the ground, you say it and you say it loud.

And then you go from there…"

And suddenly, it's like a fog has been lifted. April. He needs to tell her, NOW. Right now!

"Jackson? Jackson?!"

Stephanie is getting pissed off. Jackson has been acting weird for the last few weeks and it's getting beyond a joke. It's like he's been in a whole other world for the last few minutes. And now he's pushed her off him and rolled out of bed. He's pulling on his clothes without even saying a word to her.

"Jackson, what the hell.."

"I'm sorry Stephanie" Jackson finally speaks. "I can't do this anymore."

"You're right, the storm. Dr Hunt is probably looking for us. We should go."

"No. Stephanie, us. I can't do US anymore."

As he pulls his scrub top on and grabs his stethoscope from the floor, Jackson figures he should at least apologise to the poor girl before he runs out the door.

"I'm sorry, I really am. You're a great girl and I promise to explain later but I need to go. NOW!"

Jackson doesn't even give Stephanie a chance to argue with him. He runs out of the on-call room, leaving the door wide open. He hears the giggles of several nurses who know exactly what he was doing a few minutes ago. He doesn't look back. If he did, he would see Stephanie struggling to cover her modesty enough to cross the room and slam the door shut.

April has been staring at the same patient chart for the last 5 minutes. Reading it, over and over, trying to take in the vital information she needs to make a diagnosis. It's no use, she can't concentrate. All she can think about it Matthew. Sweet, caring, funny and handsome Matthew. He loves her. He tells her so on a daily basis. Sometimes on an hourly basis. And she says it back. And sometimes she thinks she means it. She should love him, he is perfect for her. But there's something not right. Wait, no. She's being crazy April again. It's all fine. She's engaged! Matthew loves her. She's found someone who loves her. Breathe April. Breathe!

Jackson stops to take a breath as he reaches the bottom of the stairs. He knew he should have waited for the lift!

"Jackson, where the hell have you been? I've been paging you. We need you in the pit. The storm's beginning to hit hard across town. It's all quiet for now but soon we'll be swamped! I need all hands on deck." Owen talks quickly while beginning to head up the stairs.

"Sure, sorry. I'm on my way there. Where's April?"

"She's with a patient in room 5. I'll be back down in a few minutes, I need to check on Meredith."

Owen had disappeared before Jackson could ask him what the problem was with Grey.

"Have you seen Dr Kepner?" Jackson asks the first nurse he sees as he comes out of trauma room 7. It had been empty and he's getting frustrated. He's searched all the trauma rooms and he can't find April anywhere.

"I think she's in the store room. Probably admiring that rock the paramedic got her" the nurse responds, smiling. If only she could find a man like Matthew to sweep her off her feet.

"Thanks." Jackson mutters in appreciation as he makes his way across the E.R.

Breathing in deeply, he opens the door. It's now or never.

"April?"

A/N - I haven't written fanfiction in years but I just had to do this. This is the way I want things to go in Thursday's finale. Let me know what you think. I'll start work on chapter two tomorrow.