Corinth by Kizzykat

"Right," Hephaestion said. He set his hands resolutely on the lion heads at the end of the arms of his chair, trying to appear matter-of-fact, ready for action and dispassionate, although he felt anything but. His hands had a tendency to want to flutter slightly. "We are in Corinth. Are you going to visit the hetairas at the Temple of Aphrodite?"

Alexander, scarcely a month past his eighteenth birthday, looked up in surprise from the table, his eyes wide and his lips parted in surprise. He had been concentrating on trying to straighten one of the golden rosettes on his sandals which had become bent and was rubbing his foot. He had removed his sandal and had been straightening the rosette against the edge of the table. They were waiting for a summons from his father the King that it was time to attend the next round of discussions with the Greek envoys in the uneasy peace after Chaeronea.

"What, me?" he asked, his voice rising slightly.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because it's the done thing," Hephaestion said staring at Alexander. Ever since they had arrived in Corinth, the city of famous pleasures, he had been conscious of not wanting people to think that he was holding Alexander back from doing what other young men would do without a second thought.

Alexander looked back at him with a slight frown, considering something he had not even thought about.

Hephaestion decide to help him. "We are red-blooded young men, celebrating in the aftermath of battle, and it will be expected that we will honour the goddess."

Alexander's face opened. "We are too young," he said. "It would not be seemly to visit public courtesans. We are boys still."

"You are the King's son," Hephaestion said. "People will be watching to see what you do."

Alexander moved restlessly, turned and grasped the back of a chair to stare at Hephaestion, his sandal forgotten on the table. "I will ask my father," he said, "ask him if it would be appropriate for us to go."

"No," Hephaestion said, standing slowly. "He will just laugh and tell you to do what you want."

"You are right," Alexander said. He moved forward, his head bowed slightly as he retrieved his sandal and put it back on. "Should I go? I do not want to look like a tourist, sampling what any man can have."

"It is up to you."

Something in Hephaestion's voice caused Alexander to raise his head. "Do you want to go?"

"I do not want to go."

"But I'm not going to go on my own."

Hephaestion gathered his arguments. "Alexander, we have killed men in battle. We have been on campaign for weeks. We have seen death in all its forms. We are not boys. We should act like men."

"But it is right that we should use our bodies in the way the gods intended, for glory and honour in feats of arms," Alexander said quickly, coming round the table. "Yet we are still boys in the ways of the heart. We should keep our bodies pure and unsullied by women until we are fully grown men and of an age to marry. We need to be old enough to protect ourselves from their wiles and enticements." He sensed there was a barrier around Hephaestion that stopped him approaching too closely. "We should respect our bodies and not defile them with base pleasure."

Hephaestion stared at Alexander, a hint of frightened obstinacy about his eyes and lips. He knew Alexander's powers of persuasion.

"But you should not be seen as over-fastidious, as being too good to do as other men do."

Alexander's head came up. "I am a prince. It is my duty to lead men in matters of honour and not just on the field of battle."

Hephaestion sat down suddenly, his hands on his knees, looking away from Alexander. "You must not be seen as wanting in manly virtues either."

Alexander moved quickly and sat in the chair beside Hephaestion's. clasping Hephaestion's hands urgently. "And I must be seen as in control of my urges too. I must be seen as being capable of exercising moral virtue, as a tribute to my education. Men must be able to trust me to make considered choices, not to think only of my own pleasures. I will not be thought a barbarian."

"Don't," Hephaestion said softly, freeing his hands. He straightened, placing his hands on either side of Alexander's face, and gently kissed his brow. "You know what I mean." He rose gracefully and moved away, his shoulder turned towards Alexander.

Quickly, Alexander went after him, grasped his hands again, trying to gaze into Hephaestion's eyes with wide earnestness. "You and I," he breathed, "are not feminine men. We have proven that a hundred times over since we first bore arms on the field of battle at fifteen. No one can doubt our courage."

Hephaestion raised his gaze, trouble riding through his eyes as he surveyed Alexander. "People think that we love each other too much."

"They do not have dreams," Alexander said quietly and certainly.

"Alexander, you do not see the smiles and the looks. They hide them from you but do not bother with me. They think you are only interested in me for sex and I am only interested in you for power and position. There is nothing pure in their eyes. They do not believe in love."

Alexander shook his head slightly, unperturbed. "They have forgotten what it is to love, to only want the best for the beloved. They do not walk in a world of gods and heroes, where glory and renown are won through pushing oneself to the limit of endurance, and learning that one is still capable of more. There is a god in each of us if we would but look hard enough for it, and I love you because you live in that world. You live in that world and you make me believe. And we will make them believe too."

Hephaestion looked at Alexander, hope flickering with uncertainty in his eyes. Alexander's face had that transcendent belief he attained when touched by the gods.

"I love you," he whispered. He wanted to believe again, but he could still hear the feet of clay of mortals walking behind them.

Athens had been breath-taking, beauty piled upon beauty, subtle sophistication of manners, thought and words that had made him feel like a farm boy, his shield of innocent virtue an encumbrance rather than a defence, knowledge just beyond his grasp, a knowledge that bruised him with its contempt. Corinth was sophistication of a different kind again, more knowing of sensual pleasure and subversion. He shuddered slightly. Its knowledge was not something he wanted, but neither could he ignore, knowing it was there. His eyes were wide open and he could not shut them.

"Yes," Alexander murmured with a smile. He leant forward and placed a kiss on Hephaestion's lips. "We will make all men believe. We will live the dream of honour and friendship, Hephaestion, without which no man can truly be said to have lived a life of virtue."

Hephaestion looked at Alexander, resolution growing in his face. "I am not Endymion dreaming in the moonlight, Alexander. I am Patroclus, who weeps for his fallen comrades and who will become Achilles when Achilles' pride forbids his participation. I shall mount the slopes of Acrocorinth tomorrow in your place, Alexander, even as Patroclus scaled the walls of Troy. I shall become Alexander, and your honour will not be besmirched, and all men will see that we are not indivisible, but two persons, and one may do what the other may not."

Alexander drew back slightly, his eyes round with affront that was suffused and transformed with pride. "No," he said. "No," he said more quietly, "I will not let others do what I have shirked from doing. Tomorrow you and I will walk side by side up to Acrocorinth. We will sacrifice to the goddess and we will pay tribute to the courtesans, but we will not indulge in their pleasures."

"No one will say you have shirked from them," Hephaestion said in a small voice.

"No, but it may look like I have. So, we will hold a party tomorrow night and invite some of the more exclusive hetairas, so that it will not look like we shun their company, only that of the more common sort." He stood there with a decisive look but he saw the anxiety in Hephaestion's face. He shook his head slightly. "We will not partake. I will not cheapen myself."

"No," Hephaestion breathed with relief.

Alexander moved forward and quickly hugged him with a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you," he said, moving back. "Thank you for reminding me what I should do as a prince."

Hephaestion looked at him with distress. He feared he had upset him.

"I would like," he said. He stopped and tried again. "I would like to…"

What he would like was not to be revealed though as Perdiccas entered the room. He was still one of Philip's Pages and had come to summon Alexander. "Alexander, Philip is about to depart for the conference chamber."

"Thank you," Alexander said, and began to walk across the room towards the door. He stole a quick look at Hephaestion who walked with him, but he could not tell if he was upset.

"Alexander," Perdiccas said. "Some of us were thinking of going up to the Temple of Aphrodite. Do you think it would be alright?" He looked at Alexander with an uncomfortable mixture of embarrassment and anticipation.

"Hephaestion and I," Alexander said, including Hephaestion in his smile, "were just discussing the very same thing. We have decided that – very interesting though it would be – we do not wish to appear promiscuous. We, after all, are the conquerors here; we should not be conquered by mere Greek pleasures."

"No, no, you are quite right, Alexander," Perdiccas said quickly to cover his confusion. "I should have realised."

"You can always hire a courtesan if you are desperate," Alexander said as he walked past Perdiccas. "But keep it private to protect your reputation."

"Yes, Alexander, of course," Perdiccas said, bowing his head. He looked up as Hephaestion walked past, following Alexander. Hephaestion met his gaze, wide-eyed and without expression. Perdiccas thought he looked like he needed a hug, but he stopped and looked at Perdiccas.

"When I lie with a woman for the first time," he said in a clear voice, at the sound of which Alexander stopped and turned to listen. "I should like her to care for me a little bit. Only a little bit, but just enough that she does not regard me as a piece of meat that will buy her next meal. I should like to care for her too, so that it is an act of love and not just lust."

He regarded Perdiccas solemnly, his ideals if not his innocence, intact.

"Hephaestion, our thoughts match each other, step for step," Alexander said proudly, his face aglow. "Like a pair of perfect chariot horses." He grinned and, joining him, Hephaestion and Perdiccas accompanied him, side by side, to join the king's council.