Disclaimer: Money for the poor? Don't sue the poor?
~*~*~
Hojo: *for once not hard at work, but instead pacing back and forth about his lab, apparently lost in thought*
Sephiroth: *opens the door and comes inside, a firm scowl set on his face as he proceeds to glare at Hojo* What?
Hojo: *still lost in thought* You will address me in a civil tone. Now sit down, son.
Sephiroth: *scowl deepens and doesn't sit down* Don't call me that. It makes me nauseous.
Hojo: All the better I'm a doctor, isn't it?
Sephiroth: *shudders* And I have no wish to learn what you did to get a license. What did you call me here for? I was in the middle of something very important.
Hojo: Playing with your rubber ducky in the bath-tub is hardly top priority. *sits down across from Sephiroth* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sephiroth: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Hojo: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sephiroth: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *screams* WHAT IS IT, ALREADY?!
Hojo: I'm getting married to your mother.
Sephiroth: *dead faint*
Hojo: . . . . . . . . . . . . . I knew he wouldn't take this well.
Jenova: *knocks on the open door, peering in* What's wrong? *blinks at Sephiroth's prone body*
Hojo: I told him I was marrying his mother.
Jenova: *gasps* You're WHAT?!
Sephiroth: *sits straight up* What?! You mean you're not my mother, mother?!
Hojo: *blinks* Who? Jeny? Of course not!
Jenova: *chuckles* What a strange idea. Oh no. I'm not you're mother! Your father just stole some of my DNA and injected your unborn fetus with it. But no, I'm not your mother.
Sephiroth: You mean, I *killed* the love of my life for you, thinking I had finally found someone I could TRUST, and you were LYING the whole time?!?!?!?
Jenova: *blinks surprised, turning to Hojo* Our little boy has been in love?
Hojo: *mutters darkly under his breath*
Sephiroth: I'm not your little boy! And don't say that! *runs out*
Jenova: *gasps* Oh! *turns to Hojo* You should have told him sooner!
Hojo: *blinks* What? And risk losing a highly valuable test subject, with whose data I shall rule the world?! NO WAY! MWAHAHAHAHAHA-*gets knocked unconscious by a tentacle*
~*~*~
Sephiroth: *sitting in the abandoned Mako Reactor in Mt. Nibel, head in his arms, sobbing*
*Tifa and Cloud walk up and gasp when they see him*
Cloud: Hey! Isn't he supposed to be DEAD?!?!
Tifa: SHUT UP! *kicks him* Can't you see he's sad?! Jerk! *walks up to Sephiroth*
Cloud: *cries* . . . . She HIT me . . . . .
Sephiroth: *wipes eyes quickly and growls at Tifa* What do you want? *Smacks Cloud* Shut up, wussy. You didn't cry when *Elena* decked your ass.
Cloud: *points at Tifa, sniffling* She's suppose to LOVE ME! *Whiny voice*
Tifa: *roles eyes* I'm entitled to mistakes, just like everyone else . . . .
Sephiroth: *mutters darkly* Not everyone is . . . .
Tifa: *pats him on the back* There, there. Now, what's wrong? Tell Tifa all about it.
Cloud: *cries* SHE LIKES YOU BETTER NOW!!!!
Sephiroth: *lays head on Tifa's shoulder* I'm . . . . just a puppet. Not quite so bad as him, but . . . . . Mother betrayed me. She isn't even my mother!
Tifa: *gasps* Oh! Poor baby! Why would she lie to you?!
Cloud: *still sobbing* I'M NOT LOVED !
Sephiroth: *sniffles* I don't know . . . . . . Hojo probably made her . . . .
Tifa: *sighs* He does seem the pushy type to use a person. One moment. *turns and glares at Cloud, looking scarier than Meteor* SHUT YOUR WHINY LITTLE ASS KISSING MOUTH UP THIS INSTANT OR I HIT YOU SO HARD IT WON'T MATTER IF I'M BI OR NOT, BECAUSE YOU'LL BE NIETHER!!!
Sephiroth: *snickers*
Cloud: *blinks in shock, then points at Sephiroth, glaring* I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE! *runs off, crying harder than ever*
Sephiroth: Suuurrreee.
Tifa: . . . .whiny little . . . *turns back, looking nice again* So, what are you going to do now . . . ?
Sephiroth: Find my real mother, I guess. *looks up at her* Will you help me?
Tifa: Of course, sweetie! Now, where do you want to start looking?
Sephiroth: *thinks* Well, let's look here in Nibelheim first. After all, the whole project took place in that mansion.
Tifa: Right! *strikes a pose* Off to the SHINRA MANSION! *starts jogging down, but trips and skids halfway down the mountain*
Sephiroth: *flies down mountain, stops, picks her up, flies down to land in front yard of mansion*
Tifa: . . . . . I meant to do that . . . really . . . . *jumps out of his arms and stalks straight to the door*
Sephiroth: *rolls eyes and follows*
Tifa: *flinging the door open* So! Where in the house do you want to look first for clues?
Sephiroth: *darkly* The basement.
Tifa: . . . . . . . . . . . . *sweatdrop* Of course. *Heads downstairs.*
Sephiroth: *follows, swiping at bats with his Masamune*
Tifa: *stops in mid-step, frozen as she sees the shadowy figure at the bottom of the step* Y-you! *lunges, tackling the person* Sephiroth! I'VE FOUND YOUR MOTHER!!!
Sephiroth: . . . . . . . . . . . . . That's Vincent.
Tifa: . . . . . . . . . . . I'm entitled to make mistakes.
Vincent: *picks himself up off the floor and dusts himself off* Might I inquire as to your prescence here?
Sephiroth: *cheerily* We're looking for my mother!
Tifa: *strikes pose* We're not stopping to we find her!
Vincent: *blinks* What about Jenova and Lucrecia?
Tifa: *snaps fingers* Hey! He never knew about Lucrecia! Vincent! You have to help us find Lucrecia! She might be Sephy's mommy!
Vincent: Of course. She still resides at the waterfall. Follow me. *heads off, followed eagerly by Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: *sings* We're off to see my mommy, who lives at the waterfall. *to the tune of "We're off to see the Wizard"*
Tifa: . . . . now THAT is creepy . . . . . *follows*
Cloud: *watches from his perch, high above* MWAHAHAHAHAHA! I SHALL have my REVENGE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-*chokes on chocobo-hairball*
~*~*~
~*~*~
Hojo: *for once not hard at work, but instead pacing back and forth about his lab, apparently lost in thought*
Sephiroth: *opens the door and comes inside, a firm scowl set on his face as he proceeds to glare at Hojo* What?
Hojo: *still lost in thought* You will address me in a civil tone. Now sit down, son.
Sephiroth: *scowl deepens and doesn't sit down* Don't call me that. It makes me nauseous.
Hojo: All the better I'm a doctor, isn't it?
Sephiroth: *shudders* And I have no wish to learn what you did to get a license. What did you call me here for? I was in the middle of something very important.
Hojo: Playing with your rubber ducky in the bath-tub is hardly top priority. *sits down across from Sephiroth* . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sephiroth: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Hojo: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Sephiroth: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *screams* WHAT IS IT, ALREADY?!
Hojo: I'm getting married to your mother.
Sephiroth: *dead faint*
Hojo: . . . . . . . . . . . . . I knew he wouldn't take this well.
Jenova: *knocks on the open door, peering in* What's wrong? *blinks at Sephiroth's prone body*
Hojo: I told him I was marrying his mother.
Jenova: *gasps* You're WHAT?!
Sephiroth: *sits straight up* What?! You mean you're not my mother, mother?!
Hojo: *blinks* Who? Jeny? Of course not!
Jenova: *chuckles* What a strange idea. Oh no. I'm not you're mother! Your father just stole some of my DNA and injected your unborn fetus with it. But no, I'm not your mother.
Sephiroth: You mean, I *killed* the love of my life for you, thinking I had finally found someone I could TRUST, and you were LYING the whole time?!?!?!?
Jenova: *blinks surprised, turning to Hojo* Our little boy has been in love?
Hojo: *mutters darkly under his breath*
Sephiroth: I'm not your little boy! And don't say that! *runs out*
Jenova: *gasps* Oh! *turns to Hojo* You should have told him sooner!
Hojo: *blinks* What? And risk losing a highly valuable test subject, with whose data I shall rule the world?! NO WAY! MWAHAHAHAHAHA-*gets knocked unconscious by a tentacle*
~*~*~
Sephiroth: *sitting in the abandoned Mako Reactor in Mt. Nibel, head in his arms, sobbing*
*Tifa and Cloud walk up and gasp when they see him*
Cloud: Hey! Isn't he supposed to be DEAD?!?!
Tifa: SHUT UP! *kicks him* Can't you see he's sad?! Jerk! *walks up to Sephiroth*
Cloud: *cries* . . . . She HIT me . . . . .
Sephiroth: *wipes eyes quickly and growls at Tifa* What do you want? *Smacks Cloud* Shut up, wussy. You didn't cry when *Elena* decked your ass.
Cloud: *points at Tifa, sniffling* She's suppose to LOVE ME! *Whiny voice*
Tifa: *roles eyes* I'm entitled to mistakes, just like everyone else . . . .
Sephiroth: *mutters darkly* Not everyone is . . . .
Tifa: *pats him on the back* There, there. Now, what's wrong? Tell Tifa all about it.
Cloud: *cries* SHE LIKES YOU BETTER NOW!!!!
Sephiroth: *lays head on Tifa's shoulder* I'm . . . . just a puppet. Not quite so bad as him, but . . . . . Mother betrayed me. She isn't even my mother!
Tifa: *gasps* Oh! Poor baby! Why would she lie to you?!
Cloud: *still sobbing* I'M NOT LOVED !
Sephiroth: *sniffles* I don't know . . . . . . Hojo probably made her . . . .
Tifa: *sighs* He does seem the pushy type to use a person. One moment. *turns and glares at Cloud, looking scarier than Meteor* SHUT YOUR WHINY LITTLE ASS KISSING MOUTH UP THIS INSTANT OR I HIT YOU SO HARD IT WON'T MATTER IF I'M BI OR NOT, BECAUSE YOU'LL BE NIETHER!!!
Sephiroth: *snickers*
Cloud: *blinks in shock, then points at Sephiroth, glaring* I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE! *runs off, crying harder than ever*
Sephiroth: Suuurrreee.
Tifa: . . . .whiny little . . . *turns back, looking nice again* So, what are you going to do now . . . ?
Sephiroth: Find my real mother, I guess. *looks up at her* Will you help me?
Tifa: Of course, sweetie! Now, where do you want to start looking?
Sephiroth: *thinks* Well, let's look here in Nibelheim first. After all, the whole project took place in that mansion.
Tifa: Right! *strikes a pose* Off to the SHINRA MANSION! *starts jogging down, but trips and skids halfway down the mountain*
Sephiroth: *flies down mountain, stops, picks her up, flies down to land in front yard of mansion*
Tifa: . . . . . I meant to do that . . . really . . . . *jumps out of his arms and stalks straight to the door*
Sephiroth: *rolls eyes and follows*
Tifa: *flinging the door open* So! Where in the house do you want to look first for clues?
Sephiroth: *darkly* The basement.
Tifa: . . . . . . . . . . . . *sweatdrop* Of course. *Heads downstairs.*
Sephiroth: *follows, swiping at bats with his Masamune*
Tifa: *stops in mid-step, frozen as she sees the shadowy figure at the bottom of the step* Y-you! *lunges, tackling the person* Sephiroth! I'VE FOUND YOUR MOTHER!!!
Sephiroth: . . . . . . . . . . . . . That's Vincent.
Tifa: . . . . . . . . . . . I'm entitled to make mistakes.
Vincent: *picks himself up off the floor and dusts himself off* Might I inquire as to your prescence here?
Sephiroth: *cheerily* We're looking for my mother!
Tifa: *strikes pose* We're not stopping to we find her!
Vincent: *blinks* What about Jenova and Lucrecia?
Tifa: *snaps fingers* Hey! He never knew about Lucrecia! Vincent! You have to help us find Lucrecia! She might be Sephy's mommy!
Vincent: Of course. She still resides at the waterfall. Follow me. *heads off, followed eagerly by Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: *sings* We're off to see my mommy, who lives at the waterfall. *to the tune of "We're off to see the Wizard"*
Tifa: . . . . now THAT is creepy . . . . . *follows*
Cloud: *watches from his perch, high above* MWAHAHAHAHAHA! I SHALL have my REVENGE! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-*chokes on chocobo-hairball*
~*~*~