Author's Note: Hi guys! It's Cade here. This is my first Book of Mormon fanfic, so don't be afraid to be brutally honest with me. Just a note before you read, in this story, each chapter will alternate between Connor and Kevin, with Connor's chapters looking backwards from the end of their relationship and Kevin's chapters looking forward from the start of their relationship. It's sort of like a Last 5 Years sort of thing. Anyways, go ahead and start reading. Enjoy!

-Cade

Chapter One

Connor

Connor sighed as he folded the letter over in his hands. He didn't know why he was doing this. It wasn't as if Kevin didn't already know what had happened at his death. It wasn't as if Kevin was even able to read it. He was dead. The dead don't read.

Connor looked at all the bunches of flowers that were delicately placed around the tombstone. He suddenly felt stupid. Why hadn't he brought flowers? Kevin was, after all, his husband. Wasn't that the sort of thing husbands did for each other?

"I should've brought you flowers, Kev, instead of this stupid letter." Connor said out loud. There was no response, just the wind rustling through the leaves on the trees. Connor kicked at the earth beneath his feet.

"I can read you the letter, if you want." he suggested. His response was another rustle of leaves. He sighed and sat down in front of the tombstone. "I, uh, wrote it a couple days ago. I just...had a lot of trouble bringing myself here." He explained, clearing his throat. "Here goes nothing:

Dear Kevin,

I went back to the tree today- you know, the tree where I proposed to you. I went after your...well, you know. Obviously you know. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out of there. I couldn't think. I couldn't see. I couldn't breathe.

"And your mother. God, I can't stand your mother. She spent the whole time glaring at me as if the whole thing were completely my fault. If you hadn't met me, none of this would have ever happened. I couldn't let her think that and just sit there. I couldn't leave either.

"Oh, Kevin, why did you have to do this to me?

"Why leave me here all alone?

"Maybe, your mother's right. Maybe it is my fault. If I hadn't suggested going back to Uganda maybe we'd still be living in that stupid, rundown apartment together, talking about how we're gonna fix the place up. Maybe we'd have decided to move and get a house instead. Maybe we'd have talked about having a kid.

"You were always so good with kids. Your eyes would light up when the children in the village would run up to talk to you. You'd spend hours having tea parties with your nieces, instead of talking to the adults. You'd do that, and I'd think: That's the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. That's the man I want to raise a child with. I don't deserve him, but that's the man I love.

"We're not going to have that now." Connor paused for a moment, let out a sniffle, then continued.

"Why, Kevin, did you insist on standing up for me? Why couldn't you have let him hit me? It would have been a few punches, maybe a broken arm, easily fixable. Why did you have to say something? Couldn't you have kept your mouth shut for a few minutes?

"But you didn't.

"You couldn't.

"I'm not entirely sure you knew what was happening. You saw the gun, you heard it fire, but you didn't flinch. You didn't make a sound. You just fell back, into my arms, crimson spilling out over your white missionary shirt.

"You had insisted we wear our uniforms. It'll be funny, Con. You said. Besides, how else will the villagers recognize us? They've never seen us in anything else.

"You stupid, stupid idiot.

"Not the most romantic thing for me to think while you were dying in my arms, I know, but I couldn't help it.

"I tried to stop the bleeding, but I didn't know how. In first aid class, they don't teach you what to do when a missionary, or once-missionary, I suppose, gets shot. I got frantic, as you know. Connor, stop. You said, weakly placing a hand on mine. As I stared into your brown eyes, still as warm and hopeful as the day I first met you, I realized that I was losing you.

"Tell me...tell me about our first date. Please. You asked. I want to go smiling. I want to go happy. I want to go reminded that I am completely and utterly in love. And I said: Sure, hon, whatever you want. And I had to bite my lip to keep the tears from streaming down. And I started to tell you about how you had held my hand under the table because you didn't want anyone else to be able to share our happiness. You wanted it all for us. The entire time, I felt you slipping away, your heartbeat slowing.

"I saw you smile. I love you so much, Connor. The last thing you said before you finally slipped away. Your smile stayed on your face the whole time.

"I love you too, Kevin. I love you more than you will ever know.

"Just send me some sign that you're alright, that you're happy- wherever you are. I love you, Kevin. I miss you, Kevin. I need you, Kevin.

With all my Love,

Your Husband,

Connor McKinley-Price."

Connor wiped the tears away from his eyes. He felt like an idiot. He felt like he had fill the silence.

"It was...It was a really nice service." He said quietly. "Arnold...he read something. I think it might've been from Star Wars, but it was still really nice. I think you'd have liked it."

He sat for a moment, wiping at his tears.

"I miss you, Kevin." he said finally. He stood, placed the letter on top of the tombstone, securing it with a rock. He took a final look at the stone before heading back to his car.

Here Lies Kevin McKinley-Price.

Loving husband and son.

"Tomorrow is a Latter Day, and I am here for you."