Author's Note: Emmy's favorite place to stay is on my shoulder. Walking around, I look like the one pirate who didn't get the memo that they were using parrots instead of kittens.

Also I don't own Hellsing. Sorry if I confused anyone.

Seras Victoria sat upon her four-poster coffin, leaning back against the cold stones as she slowly flipped the pages of her book. Smiling devilishly she leaned forward, scanning the words as fast as she could. Her eyes flashed from blue to crimson and back as she reached a particularly action-packed scene. She barely heard Walter come in with her nightly dinner. Coming to a stopping point, she placed her bookmark neatly inside and closed the tiny book.

"Hello Walter," she said cheerfully, hopping off the bed while steadfastly ignoring the ice bucket. The kind old butler smiled and gave a tiny bow.

"Good evening, Miss Victoria. Did you sleep well?" Seras smiled and shrugged, not wanting to lie.

"I woke up…early. That's just the time to relax and read a book, though." She waved her book sheepishly. Walter read the title, and raised an eyebrow. Seras smiled. "What, is something the matter?" Walter blushed slightly, shaking his head. Seras cocked an eyebrow, slinking around the man in a feminine parody of her master.

"Just say it Walter. It's adult romance. Harlequin romance. The triple S: Simple, short, and smutty. I'm a good girl who shouldn't be reading this sort of thing." She ended up whispering in his ear, shaking the offending novel in front of his eyes. Walter was completely red by now, and pulled at his collar as he stepped away from the Draculina.

"No, Miss. I was just going to say that it wasn't any business of mine what you read. However, in my day ladies wouldn't be caught dead with such…a manuscript." Seras laughed, tucking the book into her satchel along with her ammunition.

"Back in your day; exactly when was that, Walter? You're probably much older than you look then." Laughing, Seras kissed the man chastely on the cheek and ran out the open door and to the upper levels. Blushing furiously, Walter touched his cheek before looking at the untouched bucket. His eyes widened as he realized Seras had distracted him from giving her another lecture about starving herself. Walter shook his head. "She's becoming more and more like her master every day. Somehow, I don't think that's a good thing."

Alucard stared at his Childe quietly, watching her in the silver of moonlight that filtered through the clouds. Usually she'd be complaining-either mentally or vocally-about having to sit in a stakeout. But tonight she had brought along some sort of book, taking advantage of her vampiric eyesight in the absence of light. Frowning slightly, he wondered what had her attention so completely, trying to move to see the title. Sensing the slight movement, Seras glanced up to look quickly at her stakeout companion.

"Master? Is it time yet?" she asked him, whispering even though they were communicating mentally. He responded with a slight shake of his head. Seras frowned and marked her place, closing her book and sitting it beside her as she grabbed her ammunition case. Alucard picked it up, reading the spine before flipping through the pages with a confused expression. Reaching the bookmark, he read the first three chapters of the page as his eyes widened. He looked up to see Seras watching him neutrally. She reached out her hand, and he gave her the book. She put it into her bag and froze as he spoke mentally.

Such an innocent Police Girl reading such….lewd content. Seras gave him a condescending expression.

And why shouldn't I? I'm a grown woman. Don't tell me. "In your day" women didn't openly read these things, she retorted. Alucard moved closer to her, pointing at a couple before shaking his head a moment later, relaxing.

False alarm. And besides Police Girl; in my day, most women didn't read. Seras absentmindedly watched a gay couple leave the club, not thinking as she replied curtly.

"Well how about you show me how ladies learnt in your day." A second later, Seras remembered exactly how ladies learnt as Alucard chuckled next to her ear, sending a quiver down her spine.

"Maybe someday, Seras; but not now. There is our target, and I'd like to be back at Hellsing before that blasted sun rises. Let's not have a repeat incident of last week. Shall we?" he swooped silently through the shadows towards the target. Seras followed closely with a burning face, trying to decide whether or not he'd really consider her inattentive request. She tried to ignore the fact that she was also thinking about how disappointed she would be if he didn't. Turning her attention to the impending battle, she resolved to bring less…controversial material to the next mission.

The End

Afterword: I don't know where this came from. Probably my love for romance novels and the cheap ones I always laugh at my friends for buying. Harlequin novels are really published PWPs most of the time. Some are pretty good, though. I personally go for more sophisticated romances. (Although I do delve into a PWP sometimes myself…..)
As for Alucard's confused expression, I really wouldn't know if he's ever seen a Harlequin novel before. He wouldn't go near the pink-clad shelving of the bookstore(if he went into a bookstore) . Do you think Integra reads them? That woman has to have some way to-well, I didn't know but I'm sure that a guy from the (1400s?) would be rather surprised at his virgin policewoman reading such lascivious, randy, burlesque stuff. Or that they'd even make them.
Although I have read some things from the Victorian era that were…oh geez they made 50 Shades look like a Sesame Street picture book. Just Google (The Lustful Turk) (shh don't tell anyone that you can find it for free at some places.) And I think everyone knows about Fanny Hill.

And today we've learned a little something about Jubi. Probably more than you wanted to know, too. Anyway, until next time my Impatient Ones! Keep your scarves tied snugly!