Sh! I'm Listening to Reason

Author's Notes: Thanks to Pagan for looking this over! This was definitely a fun challenge and I hope to do more in the future.

Fic Word Count/Art Medium: 3,472
Pairing(s): Draco Malfoy/Hermione Granger, Harry Potter/Luna Lovegood, Ron Weasley/Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini/Ginny Weasley, Theodore Nott/Daphne Greengrass, George & Angelina Weasley, Bill & Fleur Weasley, Percy & Audrey Weasley, Molly & Arthur Weasley, and Lucius & Narcissa Malfoy
Rating: R
Warnings (if any): Implied sex
Prompt #/Self-Prompt #2

Disclaimer: "Harry Potter" is the property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. This work of fiction/art was created entirely for fun, not for profit, and no copyright infringement is intended.

Malfoy Manor, Sunday, February 8, 2004 6:30 PM

Lucius and Narcissa were entertaining an unusual group of guests on their usual day for visitors. The group consisted of Harry Potter and his fiancée Luna Lovegood; Ron Weasley and his girlfriend Pansy Parkinson; Blaise Zabini and his fiancée Ginny Weasley; and Theodore Nott and his wife, Daphne Greengrass-Nott. The occupants weren't shocked to receive an owl from the older Malfoys. Everyone in the room had one idea in mind: Getting Draco and Hermione together, finally.

Ever since the two had started working together at Malfoy Enterprises three years ago, their friends and families had had to hear them complain about each other incessantly. Blaise and Theo had teased Draco several times about the fact that he obviously had a crush on his curly-haired colleague. Needless to say, Draco had hexed both of them and had them thrown out of the Manor for saying such a thing. When Luna and Ginny had brought up the same matter for discussion with Hermione, she had been so flustered that she'd turned as red as Ron's ears usually did when he was angry. It was enough to motivate for all parties to come together in this unorthodox meeting to think of a way to get the two most stubborn people in their lives together at last.

"Does anyone have a plan?" Lucius asked as he looked around at each person in the room.

Everyone was quiet for a moment until Ginny spoke up. "Malfoy's not going to burst in here, is he? You know he'd hex every single one of us if he knew what was going on right now."

Narcissa smirked and turned her blue eyes to her husband. At that moment, everyone realized from whom Draco had inherited his patented smirk. "That won't be an issue," she said, sweeping her eyes around the room. "I have taken care of Draco for the night. He will be running errands in France for the next few hours."

A few chuckles were heard around the room at Narcissa's revelation.

"Great, now that's out of the way, what should we do about these two? Frankly, I'm tired of hearing how much they annoy each other. It's nothing but unresolved sexual tension and it's about time they shagged." Pansy huffed in exasperation then glanced at Draco's parents. "Sorry, Lord and Lady Malfoy," she quickly apologized.

Ginny, who was sitting across from Pansy, nodded her head in agreement. She had said the very same thing to Blaise when she'd told him about Hermione's reaction. When he told her about Draco's denial, they both knew that there was more to the story. A good shag would do wonders for both of them and especially for those around them.

Lucius held up a hand to show that Pansy was forgiven.

"What about inviting them to a Weasley dinner?" Luna posed the question. "We'll all be there to stop either one from trying to bolt as soon as they see the other is there. Plus, how many of us have fallen in love with someone at one of these dinners?" Luna looked up at Harry and gave him a smile before looking around the room.

Ginny squeezed Blaise's hand knowing full well that it had happened to them. Pansy smiled at Ron remembering that they too had fallen in love during the several dinners they had attended together. Luna's plan looked like it might actually work.

The room was quiet for several long moments as everyone mulled over the only plan that they had come up with during the hour spent sitting in the drawing room.

"Well, Mum will be pleased to have a bunch of people to cook for, at least," Ron muttered.

The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole, Saturday, February 14th, 2004, 6:00 PM

Hermione Apparated to the edge of the wards that surrounded The Burrow. Molly always had a Valentine's dinner every year since the war ended. The parties had unofficially become the place where everyone's love had blossomed. Hermione was always happy to see her friends slowly fall for each other over the course of these dinners, even to the point of taking the plunge, and committing to each other. She also noticed their whispers and stares. She knew that they were wondering if she, too, would be lucky as they were. Hermione always brushed them aside, not really concerned about her love life in the slightest.

Walking into The Burrow, she noticed Molly wasn't in the kitchen as she usually was. Feeling a bit confused, Hermione continued on her way towards the backdoor. Opening the door, she saw that everyone was sitting around several tables arranged under a large pink tent. As she drew nearer, she noticed a few new faces: Angelina Johnson, Theodore Nott and his wife Daphne, and shockingly enough, Draco Malfoy. Angelina was sitting closely to George Weasley, which put a smile on Hermione's face. She had noticed the two of them had been getting closer and closer lately, but it now seemed that the Weasley Valentine's dinner charm had struck again.

As she continued to walk towards the tent, it seemed like the conversation suddenly ceased and they were now all staring at her. Feeling out of sorts, Hermione walked faster, hoping that it was just her arrival and not because she was, once again, without someone.

"Hermione!" A cacophony of voices shouted her name at the same time.

She was taken aback by the greeting. "Hello… everyone."

Molly stood up from her seat and made her way over to her. Molly embraced her as she always did before admonishing her for being too skinny and working too much.

Hermione laughed. "I suppose you'll have to take that up with my boss. Speaking of which, why is he here?"

Molly tried to hide her smile and failed miserably. "Harry thought it was a good idea to invite him since it seemed like Draco would be all alone on a day like today. Isn't that sweet?"

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "I'm not sure that's the word I'm looking for."

"Oh, honestly, Hermione. He isn't that bad, or he doesn't seem that bad since he arrived with Blaise. Give him a chance now that you're both out of a formal setting."

Hermione sighed. "All right, all right. I'll give him a chance. Where am I to sit?"

Molly turned and pointed to the empty seat next to Draco. Hermione rolled her eyes and thought this was some sort of horrible nightmare. Molly gave her a push in the direction of the chair when she saw Hermione wasn't going quickly enough for her.

She stumbled as she put one foot in front of the other, but managed thereafter to walk with further incident until she reached the empty seat. She glared at it as if it were the one to put her in this predicament.

"Granger, the chair might combust into flames if you continue to stare at it like that. We work together five days a week, one little dinner won't hurt. I promise."

Hermione looked up from the chair and into Draco's glacier-grey eyes. She folded her arms over her chest before reluctantly sitting down next to him. "Just because we work together every day doesn't mean I want to be near you outside of work. Why did you accept Harry's invitation anyway?"

Draco smirked and grabbed a glass full of pink liquid. He sniffed it before he deemed it acceptable to drink. He set the glass back down before he answered her question. "It isn't like I had anything better to do. I would be sitting around the Manor whilst my parents do Merlin knows what."

"Or you could have hired a woman of the night and would have been probably be better off."

He snorted next to her. "Do you think I would hire some random tart to distract me from this fake holiday?"

"If the shoe fits," Hermione responded in sing-song voice before she took her glass from the table and took a sip. The drink, once it hit her tongue, went from cold to warm instantly. As it made its way down her throat, it tingled and made her feel relaxed and warm all over. It also instantly made her suspicious, but just as that thought appeared, it disappeared just as quickly.

"Hello Hermione."

She heard Luna's whimsical voice from behind her. She turned and her eyes automatically widened. She shouldn't be surprised by Luna's antics by now, but she was surprised anyway.

"Hello, Luna. What do you have on?"

Luna looked down at her outfit. She was covered in red, white, and pink leaves that were strategically made into a floor-length dress. Hermione had to admit that she was impressed by Luna's fashion choices, but she would never understand the other woman.

"Oh, these? Harry got me flowers today and I thought instead of letting them sit in a vase and die days later, they'd be better worn."

Hermione nodded along. "That's rather creative of you, Luna."

"Harry thought so, too. Are you having a good time?" Luna inquired with a gleam of hope in her blue-grey eyes.

Hermione thought about it for a moment. What were her qualms before this? She couldn't even remember. "I am, actually." She sounded shocked to her own ears.

"Good, good. I should go find Harry, but I'm glad you're enjoying yourself." Luna smiled at Hermione before pulling out something from behind her back and throwing it into the air before leaving.

Hermione watched as a small white bag continued to float higher and higher until it reached the ceiling. It turned itself upside down—the top of the bag now faced the ground—and unfurled. A red substance with the consistency of snow poured out slowly floating down towards Hermione and Draco. She moved her eyes away from the floating bag wondering if anyone else was watching it as well, but she saw that they were all deep in conversation amongst themselves.

She elbowed Draco, none too lightly, and pointed upwards. He followed her finger with his eyes as until he caught sight of the red substance.

"What the bloody hell is that?"

"I don't know. Luna threw it up there. I feel like something odd is happening."

He moved his eyes away from the ceiling and looked at her. "I think you might be right."

Hermione continued to watch the substance as it made its way down towards her. Just when she thought things couldn't get any weirder, she heard Arthur greet Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. Hermione's attention snapped to them. Red flags were going off in her mind, but for some reason she didn't feel panicked and she also forgot about the falling red substance. What was happening to her?

"Why are my parents here?"

"I don't know, but I don't like it."

Lucius and Narcissa made their way around the tables and greeted those that they passed. "Hello, Miss Granger," Lucius greeted her as he took a seat next to his son.

"Hello, Lord Malfoy, Lady Malfoy."

"How many times do we have to tell you, you can call us by our first names," Narcissa admonished.

"You're right… Narcissa." The name didn't feel right coming out of her mouth.

"Thank you. So, are the two of you having a good time?" she asked Draco and Hermione.

"Why does everyone keep asking us that?" Draco questioned.

"It's called making polite conversation, Son," Lucius informed him.

Draco rolled his eyes. "It doesn't feel like it."

A hush fell over the backyard when Molly stood up. "Now that everyone is here, dinner will be served." With a flick of her wand, plates, bowls, silverware, and dishes of food floated its way outside and onto the tables. "Dig in."

For many minutes, all that was heard was silverware scraping against plates. As everyone's stomach started to fill, Hermione noticed Percy, Audrey, George, Angelina, Pansy, and Ron head into the house before coming back out a few minutes later. It shouldn't seem off to her, but she had a niggling feeling in the back of her mind, but she couldn't fully explore why she felt that way for some reason.

Once everyone had finished eating, Molly flicked her wand once again and the dirty dishes raced back into the house to be washed. George stood up and grabbed a crate from under his chair. Hermione knew exactly what that meant; fireworks. It was an annual event that always enchanted its audience.

Everyone stood from their seats and followed George to the little hill not far from the tent. They all crowded around, pushing each other closer together. Hermione kept getting jostled and pushed until she felt herself bump into the person next to her. An apology was on her lips when she noticed who she had bumped into. Draco's grey eyes were staring down at her. They stared at one another for a long second before Pansy bumped into Hermione and Ron bumped into Draco. They looked at one another before turning to the people bumping into them.

"What the hell are you doing, Weasley?" Draco asked with a growl.

"Sorry, just trying to see the show," Ron answered.

"Right, and I'm Voldemort himself," he muttered.

"I'll admit, you aren't easy on the eyes, but a lot better to look at than that no-nosed bastard."

Draco gave him a look as Ron started chuckling at his own joke before turning his eyes back towards the sky.

On the other side of Draco, Hermione wasn't having much luck with Pansy.

"What are you doing, Pansy?" Hermione asked her quietly. Ever since Pansy and Ron had started dating, the two women have become friends.

"Nothing. I couldn't see the show from where I was standing in the back. This is the perfect place to see everything."

"If you were Pinocchio, your nose would be growing right this moment."

"Pino-key-what?"

"Never mind. I know what you're trying to do and it isn't going to work," she told Pansy in a matter-of-fact tone.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Be quiet; the fireworks have started."

Hermione stared up at the sky and watched as hearts and the names of each person present lit up the sky. She had always thought George knew how to put on a good show, but for some reason, this year it felt like it topped every year since they'd started this tradition. She didn't know why she felt that way.

Once the show was over, Percy and Audrey detained Hermione where she stood. She blinked owlishly at them for a moment before Percy spoke.

"Hermione, we need to show you something."

"What is it?"

"That would ruin the surprise!" Audrey told her. She and Percy each took one of Hermione's arms and led her from the hill and towards Arthur's shed where he tinkered around with Muggle inventions.

They pushed Hermione inside, making sure to grab her wand from her pocket at the same time. They shut the doors and locked them before Hermione could turn around and escape. Once the doors were shut in her face, she beat on them with her tiny fists.

"LET ME OUT OF HERE!" she shouted with a snarl.

"I'm sorry, Hermione, we can't do that," she heard Percy tell her.

She sighed and placed her forehead against the wooden door. "This is ridiculous," she muttered.

"Tell me about it. I don't know what they think they are going to achieve," Draco said from behind her.

Hermione whirled around, hand digging in her pocket, feeling for her wand. Coming up empty, Hermione squinted into the darkness. She could just make out his outline.

"Who put you in here against your will?" she asked him.

"Blaise and Ginny."

"Ah," was all she said.

They both lapsed into silence for a moment until Draco broke it.

"You realize they gave us a Calming Draught in our drinks and I'm fairly sure that bag had the same effect. So, what should we do? "

"I suspected that was it. It has definitely worn off now because I don't feel a bloody iota of calm. We could start screaming at each other until they let us out of here?" Hermione suggested half-heartedly.

"You know, Granger, that isn't a bad idea."

Meanwhile, on the other side of the shed's door, a crowd gathered around trying to try to hear what was going on inside. It was quiet for awhile and many faces in the crowd thought that there was a possibility that Hermione and Draco were snogging. Their hopes were soon dashed as they heard voices yelling at each other. The crowd started murmuring, wondering if they should intervene. It wasn't until they heard something crash inside the shed that made Bill finally stepped forward and opened the door.

Hermione and Draco barreled out of the shed and glared at the crowd of people surrounding them. Hermione looked at each one of their faces, Draco doing the same beside her.

"If you ever, ever, try to meddle in my love life again, I will never speak to any of you again. Am I clear?" Hermione asked before marching through the crowd and towards the house.

There were many yeses and nods.

"If we wanted to get together, don't you think we'd be smart enough to do it without your help? That's an insult to Hermione's intelligence as well as my own. I knew there was a reason I didn't like you people," Draco said before he followed Hermione's example and headed towards the house as well.

"Well, that went well," Theodore Nott said once Draco and Hermione were out of earshot.

"Be quiet, Theo. We'll just have to try harder next time," Daphne said with a sigh.

No one called them back; they watched them leave without a word. Unbeknownst to them, Hermione and Draco were close to tears with laughter. They had done it. They had tricked everyone. It was almost too easy.

After they wiped the mirth from their eyes, they clasped hands and walked from The Burrow to the edge of property so that they could Apparate to Hermione's flat. Once their feet were planted firmly on the hardwood floor, Hermione's mouth connected with Draco's. She kissed him hungrily for a moment before they separated for air.

"It's about time I got to properly greet my husband," Hermione said, smiling up at him.

"Sitting through dinner and not being able to touch you drove me mad." To prove his point he raised his hand and placed it on her cheek, his thumb grazing it lightly.

"I'm glad you told me that Harry had invited you days before the party. It gave us just the right amount of time to brew a potion against any kind of trickery they tried to throw at us, except I didn't see the Calming Draught coming. Oh well, it wasn't very strong anyway."

Three days before the party, Draco came to Hermione's flat and had informed her of Harry's invitation. She had laughed. If both of their families hadn't tried to set them up a few times over the years, Draco's invite would have looked highly suspicious. Since they both knew of the grand scheme, Hermione had had the bright idea to brew a potion that they would both drink an hour before the party to protect them from anything the others threw at them.

"I'm glad I married the smartest witch of our generation, or else, who knows what would have happened tonight."

"I do know what will happen tonight…" Hermione gave him a wicked smile before she moved out of his grasp and started unbuttoning her robes, tossing them to the floor before walking towards her bedroom. Draco watched her toss the rest of her clothes to the floor before he charged after her.

He hooked his arms around her hips and picked her up as he continued towards the bed. He deposited her there before he loomed over her. He kissed her sweetly at first before the kiss transformed into something completely different. He bit her plump bottom lip, causing Hermione to moan softly into his mouth. He relinquished her lip in favor of trailing kisses down the column of her neck and down to her collar bones. Hermione let her head fall back to allow Draco better access.

"When should we tell them that we got married?" she asked, panting breathlessly.

Draco stopped his ministrations to look up at her brown, doe-like eyes. "That's what you think of as I try to ravish you, Hermione?"

She smiled and felt a blush stain her cheeks. "No, but I was just curious."

"We'll tell them soon, but as for right now, I want to ravish my wife on Valentine's Day."

And he did just that.

AN: I may do a companion piece to this. Hopefully I'll have new chapters up for a few of my fics. School has been kicking my ass. Reviews would be lovely. - Devan