Borderlands: The Spartan

I don't own Borderlands or Halo

Also, Kine is property of my friend Ryan Starky.

Xxx

Welcome to Pandora, bitcheeeeees, Part One

Windshear Wastes

"Chief...? CHIEF!" John's eyes snapped open, and he rolled to his feet while reaching for his assault rifle. Surprisingly it was still where it was supposed to be, along with his pistol and combat knife. The Spartan's shield was offline however...along with their HUD. John rapped against the side of his helmet with one fist, and sighed. All primary systems were disabled except for the motor functions, so at least his armor wasn't entirely dead weight. Still, this was a major setback in his mission...Handsome Jack had attempted to kill a UNSC appointed investigator, and while the Spartan wasn't one to too his own horn he was the Hero of Humanity...Jack must have had reason to believe that he would get away with killing him.

All around John was a wasteland of snow and ice, slopes of white with distant glaciers against a grey sky. Dotting the field he was in were the remains of the train, and something else, a structure built into the ice perhaps? He couldn't tell with his optics disabled for the time being. But he could see a light source at a nearby train car...not bright enough to be an emergency flare-which would be a poor option to go with seeing as Hyperion was the only power on Pandora with the resources for a rescue option but lacked the motivation to save some Vault Hunters they had just tried to kill. Setting his assault rifle back into place, the Spartan began his trek across the arctic wastes towards the car...

Where he saw movement. There was a small yellow robot on a wheel of sorts sifting through a number of corpses that were not of Hyperion or the Vault Hunters. It sighed as it used a shovel to dig a hole. "Great, more dead Vault Hunters. Handsome Jack's been busy." But then one of the bodies moved and began to rise up, hugging itself...

Maya! The Siren's tattoos began to glow, attracting the attention of the robot as more forms rose up from the crashed car. As John closed in, he counted all eight Vault Hunters. "Wait, you're not dead?! YES!" The robot did a single circuit in a circle, sounding pleased. "ClapTrap, your metaphorical ship has finally come in!"

"You're alive too? Man you musta hit that cliff at three hundred miles a minute!" Grey said to the Chief, obviously embellishing the statement.

"Well, none of us are dead yet...so see y'all the fuck later." Axton pulled his rocket launcher out of the snow...only to frown as he found that it was crushed and bent out of shape. The same went for most of the group's weapons. Kine sighed as he tossed the two pieces of his sniper rifle away, and Axton instead opted for a small fold up tomahawk hanging from his belt.

"It's a bad idea to split up," John said. "Handsome Jack will probably be monitoring this area to make sure that we're all dead. If he finds one of us, he'll send more units to find the rest. It's better if we remain accounted for at least until we reach a settlement."

Axton was about to talk back to the larger soldier, but the head strong dare devil Commando actually saw sense in his words. "Alright, I'll stick with yah until it's safe to split."

"Allow me to introduce myself!" The robot spoke up again. "I am a CL4P-TP steward bot, but my friends call me ClapTrap! Or they would if any of them were still alive, or had existed in the first place!" It kept an eerily cheery tone throughout the introduction. "Oh and I have a few things for you!" He opened a compartment on his front and began to toss out devices to each member of the group. "Here! Take these ECHO communicators that I TOTALLY didn't loot from some of these corpses!"

As Chief caught his new ECHO communicator, it vanished in a series of blue lights-the digistruct network. Suddenly a new heads up display appeared, this one under his visor...it was being projected in his own vision! This would make things so much more convenient for marines, allowing them to have a HUD without added weight to helmets-a common complaint from the average marine. It displayed his basic vital readings, and even had an ammo counter for his weapons and grenades...reading a zero for the latter.

"They come with a Class-12 Heads Up Display, and a minimap!" Indeed, there was a circle in the corner of his vision showing a basic overhead view of the terrain with himself as a yellow arrow and the others as green dots. "Now come, come friends; let's get you inside!"

The ClapTrap zoomed away from them.

"There is little choice." The assassin known as Zero spoke out loud. "The robot is bothersome. But shelter it has."

Odd, he spoke in haiku form. Five, seven, five...was that just a coincidence?

"You heard the scary ninja!" Salvador boomed, jogging along after ClapTrap. "Follow the talkin'g trash can!"

The nine comrades followed ClapTrap as he continued to babble on and on with no end in sight. "Man, this is GREAT! Now that I've met a team of mighty Vault Hunters, I can finally join up with the Resistance, take revenge against Jack for killing my product line, and repair my central processor so I stop thinking out loud!" It paused as if in mid thought. "I wonder what it's like to have a belly button."

This thing was obviously defective and rampant. If it wasn't the only guide available John would have destroyed it to spare the risk of it eventually posing a threat to the group...if it could at all. At first glance the robot seemed harmless, but then again at first glance the Chief hadn't seen a small army of robots and combat engineers aboard the Hyperion train. Anything on Pandora had the capacity to kill, and now the Chief would be stuck in the center of a wilderness he was unfamiliar with and alongside killers and criminals who each had billions if not trillions on their heads.

After ClapTrap got moving again, an image appeared on John's HUD. Seeing as the other Vault Hunters were also stopping, some of them leaping back as if in shock, they could likely see it on their own ECHO units also. It was of a woman...beautiful, heavenly actually. She had a warm smile on her face that made her look motherly, and her voice only added to this effect.

"I'll explain everything soon, but know this – you're all alive for a reason, and I...am here to help you." It was the same voice that the Chief had heard on the train! And before he had blacked out too! There was often rumor of an Angel of sorts who spoke to powerful warriors...and that the last ones it spoke to had caused Eridium to grow on Pandora in an out of control burst that began five years ago.

"Holy Shit Sandwiches, am I the only one who saw that?!" Grey demanded as he looked around. "Tell me I'm not the only one who saw that."

"We saw it," Maya said grimly.

"And I suggest that we discuss it behind closed doors...away from the small annoying synthetic." Tesa growled softly, still walking ahead as ClapTrap stopped to let the team catch up.

The blizzard began to clear, showing a large pile of debris ahead against a hill side. The Chief could see the side of a structure sticking out of the snowy mound...with a door! A poor attempt at making the place look 'homey' and welcoming, but that meant they could get out of sight and gather supplies, and possibly find a way back to civilization. He had to report to the UNSC on what Handsome Jack was doing, and before he could consolidate his power in this system and bar them from entry. Hyperion had a powerful armada under its control, the flagship being the giant mobile H shaped station that served as Hyperion's Corporate HQ in the entire star system. And he knew that lunar artillery was the least of what Jack could bring against a UNSC or covenant fleet, especially with the UNSC still rebuilding its own forces. At the most it could probably send a few battle groups, maybe reroute the Infinity or another capital ship...

He was on the ground now, and Jack probably thought he was good and dead. So now he could use the chance to strike back and disrupt Hyperion from the inside.

"Well done! Your ability to walk short distances without dying will be Handsome Jack's downfall!" ClapTrap praised the group as he stopped by the door.

"Open the fucking door already!" Arnold demanded.

The robot didn't respond to the aggressive demand, and hummed as it wheeled its way past a large holographic sign that read WELCOME-again a poor effort to make the place seem welcoming. "Aaaand open!" A blue robotic 'eye' on the door scanned ClapTrap, a blue light washing over the robot before the door creaked open. "Just a little added security! Gotta keep those Bullymongs at bay, or they'll rip your eyes out!"

"Bullymongs?" The Chief looked at the others.

"Big nasty freaks...I hear they're really cuddly though." Grey chuckled.

"They are vicious and large beasts...and I find them to be of little challenge on their own, and little better in a pack." Kine rumbled as he ducked through the door. "But if enough of them inhabit this region, and with most of our weapons gone they could be trouble." They followed the ClapTrap unit down a snow choked corridor that led them down into what looked like another poor attempt at making this wreck of a home look decent. Trash, furniture, and a few bodies were scattered around. ClapTrap stopped by a large improvised furnace. And they could see dismantled ClapTrap units sticking out of the walls in some places.

"Sorry for the mess! Everything Jack kills, he dumps here- bandits, vault hunters, Claptrap units." Claptrap explained. "If I sound please about this, it's only because my programmers made this my default tone of voice. I'm actually quite depressed!"

...

"Can we please get the hell away from this nut?" Salvador grunted impatiently. "Or better yet lemme punt his ass over the next hill!"

"...too late," John said while kicking aside some trash, searching for usable equipment.

"What?" Salvador looked up from another machine gun he had found after realizing the barrels were crushed together as if squeezed by a large fist.

"Now, the creatures around here are dangerous; no more than this Bullymong known as Knuckle Dragger – killed everyone I know!" Claptrap continued his rambling. "I keep a few pistols in the cabinet over there for emergencies." He pointed past a ruined section of wall and a table with money left on it which Axton and Grey were scrambling for, to a cabinet resting on the far side of the room. "But in here we should be quite safe!"

No sooner than he spoke, a roar drew the group's attention. John looked up and quickly grabbed Salvador while Zero dove out of the way. They managed to dodge a massive hulk of grey skin and white fur...a massive Bullymong which had leaped down onto the furnace shaft, and then onto the platform where Claptrap now stood alone. The robot tried to pull away, but was snatched up and held upside down by one hand while the other buried itself into the robot.

"MY EYE! AAAH!" Claptrap wailed as Knuckle Dragger tore the glowing blue eye clean out of its socket and then threw the robot aside. John levelled his rifle at the Bullymong and fired several quick bursts that did little to slow it down as the creature scaled the cavern and exited through the same hole in the roof it had come in through earlier.

"...Okay why didn't any of us notice the big fucking hole up there?" Grey asked.

"Shut the hell up Grey." Maya and Axton said in unison, the latter having torn open the aforementioned cabinet and were now passing out guns to the group. Maya also caught a glimpse of what looked like a bed...with pictures of pink ClapTrap units in suggestive poses and oil stains on the sheets. She grimaced in disgust and slid a clip into her second rate gun before holstering it.

"It is not needed," Zero said as a pistol was offered to him. "I fight without charity. Guns are for pussies." This drew stares from the entire group just after they finished receiving their crappy pistols. John simply shook his head at the Assassin while Claptrap unfortunately got back up and began to slowly move around, arms held out in front of him.

But then John felt the familiar sensation of liquid mercury and found his vision taken over by the glimpse of the heavenly woman from before.

"Once upon a time, four vault hunters changed the fate of Pandora forever. But their time has passed- thanks to Handsome Jack. Pandora needs new heroes, and I know that you are those heroes."

"Hero? Lady I'm a merc, a soldier of fortune." Axton said, frowning at the piece of crap gun he had been forced to accept. "Ain't got time for playing 'the hero' when we've got Handsome fuckin' Jack after us."

"I know what kind of people you are. Killers, outcasts, and...victims." Chief stiffened upon feeling like a hand had been caressing his shoulder through his armor. "I know your pasts, I know your burdens...and I know where your futures will lead. Jack will never leave any of you in peace, and he will never allow you off of Pandora now that you are here."

"Oh wow! Aside from the excruciating pain, this is great!" ClapTrap shouted as the woman faded out of view from their ECHO units. "I've been awaiting a mighty Vault Hunter to help me reach Sanctuary! And instead I get a whole team!"

Everybody stared at the idiotic synthetic as it began to talk...again...without ANY sign of stopping. "I will be your wise leader, and you all will be my fearsome minions!"

"...Please let me shoot him." Salvador growled.

"Now now," Axton set a hand on the larger man's arm as he raised his pistol. "Remember Salvador...he's bullet proof and you're already low on ammo as it is." The Gunzerker groaned and lowered his gun, realizing that the Commando had a point.

"Let us see if he is immune to my fists." Tesa growled as she advanced on ClapTrap.

"Wait, we might need him to guide us back to civilization." John quickly set a hand on Tesa's shoulder. "I know that he's infuriating. But for now we have to put up with this thing until it has us somewhere safe...like Sanctuary." He walked over to the only other door in the chamber, which had a doggy door shaped like ClapTrap so the robot could exit. Before ClapTrap could do so though, John simply kicked the rusted barrier of metal down, and nodded to the others while bringing out his assault rifle. "Stick close."

"...I'm going with the big metal guy!" Grey immediately piped up while jogging after John, the rest of the Vault Hunters following after some brief hesitance between some of the more lonesome members.

"I journeyed for blood. Now I stand in exile." Zero muttered in his Haiku form of speech as he came out last, ClapTrap 'leading' the group from behind the assassin. "Pandora sucks balls."

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End of chapter