summary: The Jolly Rodger is fed up with these people and takes matters into her own means. based on 1x11 "H.O.U.S.E. Rules" from the SyFy show EUReKA

Author's Note & Disclaimer: What got me started on this was seeing a 101 Dalmations gif of the main human characters getting tangled together in the dog's leash. Then I imagined Hook and Emma being tied up by the Jolly Rodger's rigging, and finally I remembered the EUReKA episode where S.A.R.A.H. was afraid of everyone leaving her; so it kind of went from there. Here's my first published Capn'Swan story. I don't own ABC's Once Upon a Time or their own specific characters.

"S.H.I.P. Rules" by JustWriter

Emma took a deep breath and stepped through the cloak and up the gangplank to set foot on the Jolly Rodger once more. She hesitated before taking a deep breath and walking onto the deck, searching the open space for a hint of the person that she was searching for.

"Hook? Are you here?" she called out tentatively. Not seeing him, she climbed the cramped, steep staircase towards the helm, wondering idly how the wheel was connected to the rudder. Glancing around, she gave into the compelling urge to touch one of the spindly handles and nearly jumped when the wood that she'd touched began to glow. "What the hell..?"

As it faded back to its original reflective gleam, she shrugged and continued down the opposite staircase and resumed her search with more purpose. "Hook?" Instead of the lack of success in finding her quarry making her feel stupid and as a result leaving the portable domicile, she worked her way below, having a strange inkling that she knew exactly where he was.

As she entered the ship's main hold she called for him again, only to be surprised by a dagger being held at her throat. She however didn't scream or jump, merely flinching at the cold metallic feeling on her neck. She felt a man's lean body at her back as he wrapped his left appendage around her torso. His rum-laden breath blew past her right ear and goose bumps traveled all of the way down that side of her body even though she was wearing her thick winter jacket. After several moments he released her, spinning her around suddenly and shoving her several paces away from him.

"Swan, what business have you here?" he asked as he sheathed the copper tinged blade. The angry glint couldn't mask his stunningly blue eyes; even in the dark they were something to behold. His tousled deep brown hair wasn't combed and his stance was still somewhat defensive.

Taking a deep breath, she said, "I came to see if you made it back safely. The harbor master called the station about a small sailboat that he'd never seen tied up to the docks before. I put two and two together and came up with four."

He grimaced and said quite cuttingly, as though he were clenching his teeth as he spoke, "Well as you can see I'm bloody well fine, no thanks to you. Now will you kindly vacate my vessel?"

They were both silent for a moment and she blinked in confusion, realizing that he hadn't taken the opportunity to use sexual innuendo. As the frustration visibly increased in intensity on his face, he took what was probably meant to be a threatening advance towards her position but in the back of her mind she knew that he was putting on a show because he was upset with her.

When she didn't respond, his eyes flashed once more and he gripped her wrist somewhat painfully as he dragged her through the ship and back to the deck, not stopping for a moment until she finally became irritated and uncooperative with the pirate near the Rodger's main mast. He certainly did have the strength to yank her arm out of its socket but he let her stop their progress to the dock. He turned around and advanced on her again until she had to lift her chin to look into his furious eyes. "Why have you come here Swan?"

Rolling her eyes, but not backing down, she said with a more forceful tone than before, "I - came - to - check - on - you. You were gone for weeks; I thought you may have gotten amnesia or something on top of that concussion or gotten thrown in lockup for disorderly behavior or peeing out in the open or maybe somebody got the drop on you and tried to put you in an underground fight club."

He raised his brow an amused expression gracing his features and said, "I've no idea what half of that means love, but I do not piss out in the open. Although if you were you hoping to catch a glimpse of my…"

"No! What are you, twelve?" she huffed in exasperation but was losing the battle with smiling back at him.

Suddenly concern flashed on and off of his face as he noticeably stared pointedly at her throat. "Lass, you're bleeding."

Rolling her eyes, she said with only a little venom but mostly disgruntlement, "Well whose fault is that wise guy? You're the one who held the knife on me."

Now he was getting exasperated. "Swan, you shouldn't be out in the open with a gash that size; there could be sharks or sirens about."

Frustration and incredulity colored her voice. "In Maine? Shark attacks on humans are incredibly rare, especially not this far up the coast, and we don't even have sirens here." Heaving a sigh she made her intention to leave known, "Goodbye Hook."

As she was sweeping by him, she stumbled over something and his quick reflexes ensured that she was braced up against his washboard chest. However before she could push him away she felt ropes tightening about them both and the next thing they knew they were both suspended in midair, bound tightly against each other.

"Hook..; what's going on? Did we just get attacked by your boat?"

"It appears so darling," he responded with a minute strain in his voice. "Are you quite alright?"

After taking a breath, she said softly, "I'm fine, really; the cut doesn't even sting so there's no infection." Building up her courage, she did the best she could to reach tentatively for the bump that she'd uncovered on the back of his head in New York after she'd chained him to the radiator. It was still there, only smaller.

He grew nervous and wasn't even taking pains to conceal it all that much. "Love, perhaps you should be reaching for that small contraption of yours to contact someone."

Withdrawing her arm, she asked, "Way up here? It's at least thirty feet from the deck; if I drop it then bye bye cell phone for good."

Annoyed he commented, "Well if you've any suggestions…"

"Okay, putting aside the fact that we're talking about a sentient inanimate object, she's your boat; can't you simply tell her to release us?"

"Ship love," he corrected in exasperation. "And no, I can't order her to do anything; merely request."

All was silent for a moment as the winds caused creaky, wooden noises and the loose ends of the bound sails flapped in the icy chill. "Well… are you going to ask her?"

She felt his chuckle more than heard it as it rumbled through their bodies. "Already did love."

"How, with your mind?" Indignation rose in the back of her mind and she wondered what it was as he said, "Oh now you've done it Swan; we may be up here all night now."

At the patented silence from her, since he couldn't quite crane his neck to see her expression against his chest, he spoke warmly. "She's a genuine marvel. She can read the thoughts and the intentions of anyone within a Roman mile's distance. But there are of course those that she's chosen to make a special connection with that she shares even more of herself with. I myself felt it the first time atop the smaller mast just a few paces from here when I fought a deplorable man there. She guides the sailor, not the other way around."

She was silent for a few moments, the indignation having changed during his little speech, to warm, nostalgic fondness. "Uh… does the wood generally glow when she makes a connection?"

He stiffened beneath her, as much as he could while tied up. She now felt an awkward and somewhat guilty presence at the back of her mind. "Rodger, what did you do?"

Words couldn't begin to describe the awkwardness that she felt, suspended in the air flush against Captain Hook, listening to, as well as feeling, a semi-coherent argument of all things, between him and the Jolly Rodger.

Whatever he seemed to be thinking at the cowed ship seemed to be working as they were slowly lowered to the deck of the ship. She could almost see a puppy with drooping ears in her imagination to compare to the feeling to.

The emotive presence seemed to fade and as the ropes fell away she took the initiative to roll off of him and dart away. She quickly hurried down the gang plank before he called out to her. "Lass, the Rodger says that you're welcome back any time and that she's sorry for any undue distress that she may have caused you." He seemed a little annoyed if his tone of voice was anything to go by.

"And what about you?" she asked with a somewhat accusing tone. He'd seemed quite eager to have her removed earlier.

He winced, looked at the main mast, and sighed heavily. "I'm not feeling very cordial with you at the moment Miss Swan. Everywhere but my cabin is open to you. Good evening." With that, he turned and headed up towards what she assumed was the Captain's Cabin and she turned and headed back to her yellow V&W. All that she could think of now though was that Henry would just love what she'd found out about what Captain Hook's ship could do.