Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Summary: Sometimes the hardest choice you have to make can set you free. This is a story about learning to live again. A Jacob/Bella story set in the beginning stages of Breaking Dawn.

AN: I don't know what I am thinking starting another story when I am writing a total of seven right now, two of which aren't even Twilight related. If I get confused and put a character from one of the other stories in here and you happen to catch it please, do not hesitate to tell me. Not only will I fix it immediately, but I will love you forever.

Contrary to what everyone thought Bella Swan was excited at the idea of marrying Edward Cullen. Her only fear was that he would somehow change his mind, deciding that she wasn't worth everything that he was risking. She had been put at risk numerous times in the time that she knew him. Marrying him was the least of her worries.

She did worry that she wasn't his equal. He treated her like a fragile doll that could break at any second. His opinion of her stung and she was reminded of it every time she looked at the brand new car shining in the sunlight in her driveway.

If he wanted to draw attention to her, he had gone about it the right way. She turned heads everywhere she went. She felt like a walking billboard with 'Look at Me' painted across the back bumper every time she drove it.

With the wedding only three days away she was starting to relax. She had bigger problems to worry about other than Alice's sudden change of mood and that stupid monstrosity that Edward insisted that she drive.

Jacob had been gone for over a month. If anyone from the pack knew where he was they weren't telling. She knew better than to ask Billy. Talking about Jacob only upset him. Sam had probably ordered the pack not to say anything to her.

The only bright spot in the situation was that she had become friends with Quil and Seth. They worried about her more than they should. She was surprised that Sam hadn't banned them from seeing her.

Edward spent more time with her than ever now. She had noticed that he was quieter than normal, more contemplative. She wished that he would tell her what he was thinking. Seth usually stayed with her at night. He slept outside underneath her window. Edward's tense demeanor was most dominant when Quil was around. If he knew what was going on, he didn't let on.

Bella knew in her heart that Edward was the cause of Jacob's leaving. She had asked Alice not to send him a wedding invitation. She had thought that Edward was above rubbing their relationship in Jacob's face. She hadn't spoken to him for days after she found out that he had sent the invitation. That was behind them now, she had tried calling Jacob to apologize but he wasn't answering his phone. She had a feeling that she wasn't the only person he wasn't talking to.

XXXX

Bella woke up two days before the wedding to an empty bed. It was the first time since agreeing to marry Edward that he hadn't been there when she woke up. That alone, should have tipped her off that something wasn't right.

Bella heard the front door open and someone walk up the stairs. A few seconds later a tired Seth walked into the room. He threw himself onto the bed with a grunt. Bella grabbed hold of the nightstand to keep from falling out of the bed.

"Sorry," Seth mumbled, his face buried in the quilt.

"Long night?" she asked in concern.

"Edward left around midnight. I ran patrol all night," he explained.

"Is something going on?" she asked in alarm.

"Alice disappeared. They're all looking for her," he said dismissively.

"I wonder why she left," Bella said as her eyebrows furrowed.

"Carlisle thinks it's because she came up with something for the wedding."

"Oh God, I hope not," Bella groaned.

"Don't you have to pick up your mom at noon?" he pondered.

"What time is it?" she asked, grabbing her phone from the nightstand.

It was almost eight, she had no time do anything of the things she'd planned to do before her mom got there.

"I hate to ask you to do this, but can you call your mom and ask her to pick up a few things from the store? There's a list on the kitchen counter and here's some money," she said, reaching for her wallet while she dressed.

"Sure," he said taking the money.

"Thank you. After you call her why don't you lay down? You need to sleep," she said, running her fingers through his hair affectionately.

Bella was in the car five minutes later. Alice was pushed to the back of her mind so that she could focus on driving. She didn't want to get pulled over for speeding or worse, have an accident.

XXXX

Bella brought Renee's bag in for her even though Renee insisted that she could do it herself. The message light on the answering machine was blinking when Bella came into the kitchen. The message was from Reverend Weber letting her know that he would be at the Cullen's by six that night.

"I wonder why he called here," Renee said.

"I guess everybody is still looking for Alice," Bella said in concern.

"Alice is missing?" Renee asked with raised eyebrows.

"She took off last night," Bella explained worriedly.

"Does she do this a lot?" Her mother asked, mimicking her tone.

"No. Something must be really wrong," she answered before sighing.

"I'm sure they'll find her," Renee said reassuringly.

Bella nodded as she opened the refrigerator. She grabbed two bottled waters before turning back to her mom.

"Is something else bothering you?" Renee prodded.

"I'm worried about Jake. He's been gone for a month now," Bella said sadly.

"You said that he had issues with Edward, and I guess getting the wedding invitation finally broke him," she reasoned.

"It did," Bella confirmed.

"I don't know him, but from what you've told me Jacob can take care of himself," Renee stated confidently.

"I know he can. I just feel that it's just as much my fault than it is Edward's that he left," Bella said in a small voice.

"Why?" Renee asked in concern.

"He was talking about leaving earlier this summer. He wanted me to give him a reason to stay," Bella explained.

"Did you lead him on?" she asked in concern.

"No," Bella said shaking her head.

"Do you have feelings for him?" she prodded.

"Yes," Bella said quietly.

"What kind of feelings?" she asked, encouraging Bella to go on.

"Do you think it's possible to love two people? One who's your soul mate and the other who you're destined to spend your life with?" she pondered.

"I don't know. Do you love one more than the other?"

"I love them both equally," Bella stated.

"Do they know that?" Renee reasoned.

"I explained it to Jacob. I also told him that I would choose Edward if he forced me to," she confirmed.

"Well no wonder he left Bella! That's a huge ego blow. Have you told Edward?" Renee admonished.

"No. I don't want to hurt him," Bella said with a sigh.

"You shouldn't have agreed to marry him. You need to figure out what you want," Renee reasoned once more.

"I want to be with Edward," she said with determination.

"Are you sure? Because after Saturday it's going to be awfully hard to change things," she reminded her.

"I'm positive. I know you think I'm too young to be married, but this is what I want," Bella answered.

"If you're sure than I will support your decision," Renee said with a smile.

"Thanks, Mom."

Renee stood from the table and crossed the room to stand in front of Bella.

"I'm glad you're here," Bella said with a lazy smile.

"I am too, Baby," she said, engulfing Bella in a hug.

Charlie walked in to find them that way a minute later.

"What's going on?" he asked as he hung up his holster.

"She's fine, she just needed a Mom pick me up," Renee reassured him.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready to leave? The rehearsal dinner is in an hour," he reminded Bella.

"I should go change."

"You look fine," Renee said, smoothing down Bella's hair.

Bella wiped the unshed tears from her eyes before heaving a heavy sigh. Renee pulled away when someone knocked on the door. Bella opened the door to see Edward on the porch. His hand grazed her arm as he passed her. She hadn't talked to him all day and seeing him now eased her fears.

"Hello Renee," he said with a kind smile.

"Hi Edward," Renee said returning the smile.

"I thought that I was going to bring them to your house," Bella reminded him.

"There's been a change of plan. Everyone is still looking for Alice," he said quietly.

"Bella said that it isn't like her to just leave without telling anyone."

"It isn't. Usually we can pick up on her emotions when something is bothering her," Edward answered Renee, his voice distant.

He must be listening in on what's happening with his family. Bella thought.

"Was she acting like something was bothering her the last time you saw her?" Bella questioned.

"No," Edward answered, shaking his head solemnly.

Charlie came back into the room tucking his only non-flannel or work button down shirt into his pants. He looked up in confusion when he nearly collided with Edward.

"What are you doing here?" he asked gruffly.

"Be nice, Dad," Bella said giving him a pleading look.

"There's been a change of plans," Renee explained.

"What change is that?" Charlie asked.

"I am going to take the three of you out to dinner," Edward said politely.

"What about Reverend Weber? He called here earlier," Bella said.

"I talked to him before coming here. Everything is taken care of. You don't have to worry about a thing," Edward said reassuringly.

"Shall we go?" Renee asked.

"Yes," Edward said with a nod.

The car ride to the restaurant took almost an hour. Bella recognized that it was the restaurant that they had gone to on their first date. Edward came around to her side and opened her door for her. He held out his hand and she smiled her gratitude as she placed her hand in his. Once she was out he pulled the seat forward and held out a hand for Renee.

"Thank you. You are such a gentleman," she said with a smile.

"You're welcome," Edward said, looking at her from under hooded lashes.

Inside the restaurant Edward pulled out Bella and Renee's chairs while Charlie watched in wonder. He wasn't used to Edward doing that kind of thing. He had never seen Edward pull a chair out for Bella before tonight. He personally thought that he was laying on the charm a little thick. No guy was as perfect as Edward was trying to be.

Renee and Edward talked all through dinner while Charlie watched Bella cautiously. She pushed her food across her plate but so far had yet to actually eat. He knew that something was bothering her. He had a feeling that he knew what it was. Jacob was causing her to lose sleep. He had stood outside her door for twenty minutes last night. She had said Jacob's name at least a dozen times.

Edward's eyes left Renee's to look at Bella. The hurt look he was giving her was noticed by Charlie. So Edward did know what was going on. Charlie had hoped that he would call off the wedding until things were sorted out. He should have known that Edward would be too selfish to do that.

"Aren't you going to eat Bella?" Charlie asked.

"I'm not that hungry. Mom and I had a late lunch," she explained.

"You can take yours home if you'd like," Edward offered.

Bella nodded giving him a halfhearted smile. She needed to get her mind off of Jacob. She wasn't being fair to Edward. He broke eye contact with her when Renee said something to him.

"I'm excited to meet your family. I talked to Alice until almost eleven last night," Renee said to change the subject.

A look of shock washed over Edward's face for a split second before he was able to regain control. Renee was the last person that Alice talked to before she went missing. Jasper had thought that she had gone up to their room to shower and now they had found out that she had lied.

"What did she say Mom?" Bella asked.

"Just that Esme was looking forward to finishing the last of the wedding preparations with me," Renee explained.

"Don't you have your bachelor party to go to tonight?" Bella asked Edward.

"You're right, we should go," he said before getting the waitresses attention.

Back at home an hour and a half later Bella lay on the couch staring up at the ceiling. She had given up her room for her mom and now she was stuck sleeping in a room with only one window that was shadowed by the overhang from the porch.

It was bad enough that she had left her phone upstairs because her mom needed it as an alarm clock so she had no clue what time it was because she couldn't see the clock over the fireplace.

She was tempted to stumble her way into the kitchen in the pitch black darkness to get the house phone. She wanted to hear Edward's voice so bad that she ached. A noise on the porch made her sit up. She had thought that Seth and Quil weren't coming tonight.

She felt her way to the front door and turned on the porch light before opening the door. Seth stood under the light shielding his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned in surprise.

"Just checking in, Edward isn't here?" he questioned.

"His bachelor party was tonight."

"I can stay if you want," he offered.

"No. Go home and get a decent night's sleep for once," she said with concern.

"I'll see you Saturday then. Quil said that he'd stay tonight and tomorrow night."

"Okay, I'll see you Saturday," she said with a kind smile.

He pulled her in for a hug and she fell against him. She knew not to ask about Jacob. Quil had let it slip that Sam had put a gag order on them. They were also forbidden to ask a out Jacob by Billy. The two of them had been severed of all contact to Jacob and Quil was obviously hurting.

Charlie had been going down to the reservation three times a week until he had made up the missing fliers. Billy had asked him not to come back because he didn't want Charlie's sympathy. Bella felt solely responsible for breaking up their friendship.

Bella felt her way back to the couch in the darkness. She would talk to her dad about mending his friendship in the morning. She didn't want him to suffer because of her actions. She hoped that it wasn't too late for Charlie and Billy to mend their friendship.