Hey guys! Ok so this chapter was so bloody difficult to write, but I hope you enjoy and review.

and i hope you enjoyed the video

Love ya's

JJ X x

"MAE! MAE! WAKE UP, WAKE UP!" the screaming echoes through the thick red comforter over my head as my bed shakes

I groan and push off the welcoming covers, quickly grabbing the seven year old bouncing on my bed in his Scooby-doo pj's and pulling him next to me without opening my eyes "shut it, pipsqueak"

"But Mae, mommy said you have to wake up for school" my eyes snap open then.

School. Monday… shit!

Big brown eyes smile up at me as I bounce out of the bed and pick him up. He laughs sweetly as I place him just outside my sticker coated door and I shout down to the perfumed smell of waffles rising up from the kitchen "I'm up!" before ruffling the bright eyed boy's hair with a wink and closing the door.

I run over to my dresser with a smile the size of Mississippi as I start pulling out clothes, nothing seemed right… and the posters on the dusty rose pink walls were almost mocking as I stand with outfit after outfit until I pick the remaining off my cluttered queen bed. I decide on a pair of navy ripped jeans, a worn t-shirt from Thistle's Bar and Grill, some red All Stars and a pair of long grey and black spotted socks I'd cut into gloves. I brush out my pink dipped chocolate curls before smearing on eyeliner, perfecting my crimson lips, securing my nose hoop and glittering my fingers with rings. To finish I take John's scarf and wrap it full circle around my neck for the ends to fall front.

When I walk into the snow marble lit kitchen I lean over the short mocha haired woman sat beside a gobbling Eli at the whitewashed table and kiss her cheek "Morning Aunt Jane"

"Morning Angel, I like that shirt" she smiles, never taking her eyes off her paper as I take a seat beside her and facing Eli with a roll of my blue gems

Pouring maple syrup onto my waffles and popping some crispy bacon between my lips I smirk "just call me the walking commercial"

"Mae…" she says in a warning tone as coffee rimmed orbs look sternly over as I swallow the tasty meat "sorry"

Oh, right, my aunt Jane owns Thistle's, well technically she runs it. It was my daddy's other baby and when he died Angie was supposed to take care of it, but once she bailed Aunt Jane stepped up and pulled it back from the ruins my dumb-shit mother ran it into. I work there some nights; Aunt Jane says it's better for me to learn the value of a dollar…

After breakfast I head out into the crimson rose lined garden and run a loving hand over the metallic pink, my baby, god I missed this car.

Pulling up to the school I park up, grabbing my backpack and leather jacket before walking through the doors of Shermer High.

Everyone's buzzing around with their usual crap as I make a beeline for my locker. The second I open the door I shove the books I don't need in with my own personally decorated little corner and for some reason I stop, stare inside and see all the things that make me, me. Magazine cut outs, photos, a doll head I'd glued to the top panel by the hair, plastic jewelry hung up and a mirror on the door, plus a bunch of other junk. It seemed smaller today.

"Hey Hoe" a high pitched voice asks, linking my arm as my locker closes

I look over to the girl beside me; her hair bleached blonde and crazy style backcombed, and wearing a small pleated skirt, a fishnet shirt over a black bra with ripped tights and my army boots she never returned. Her face smeared with layers of makeup hiding her blue eyes.

My best friend, Candy Higgs

I frown at her while I scan the passing crowd "I told you not to call me that… shit, how do you get out of the house in those outfits?"

Candy's got good parents, they love her, but she likes to push them… she has no idea how lucky she is

She just shrugs and smiles, straightening with a grin as a boy with gelled back black hair, flamed ink licking over his right shoulder under his dark moth-eaten vest to brush his neck with jeans tighter than mine. I look up to emerald glazed orbs of Ned Longley and smile as he asks "did we have homework for Tanner?"

Now, Ned's a good guy really, but he and his mom fight a lot, he's never met his dad and he hates her for that…plus he can be a real dick

"Yeah, but he kicked your ass out before it was assigned" I answer, as a loud bang rattles the lockers

Candy looks over my shoulder with a roll of her eyes "Ew, nerds" and Ned laughs. I look back with her and my eyes widen, no fucking way!

I pull away from my friends and race over to grab Stubby, twisting his arm back and slamming the fucker into the lockers face first "What the fuck Shrew?"

"Shut the fuck up! You listen here Stubby you touch the kid again and your next match will be with a fucking pathologist!" I scream before pushing him back, a lot of wide eyes watching as he grunts and walks off. I hate that guy

I turn to the boy helping to pull Brain out of his locker and ask "You ok Bri?"

He nods and brushes himself off "um, yeah, yeah I think so… thanks Mae"

He looks kind of surprised that I'm stood there, but smiles as I ask "you seen any of the others?"

He shakes his head and his little four-eyed friend looks about ready to shit one "just you so far… have you?"

I shake my head kind of disappointed as the bell rings and I tap him on the shoulder and back up "See you in Chem"

He smiles at me before I walk off and back over my gob-smacked friends "What?"

"Since when do you play hero to nerds?" Candy asks, the blonde looking horrified while Ned stands there confused

I shake my head and smile "Brain's cool" this makes them look even more like I just told them I saw a flying monkey… in fact I think they'd be more entitled to believe that

Home Room is shit, Ned and Candy bombarding me with questions. I just told them I met some new people at detention and to let it go. Ned drops it, knowing their pissing me off but Candy keeps on going. Who are they? What happened? Why are you being such a freak? Tell me!

The truth is I'm kind of bummed I haven't seen anyone else yet. As we leave for our next class Candy finally shuts it, oh, wait… she's not in this class… peace!

Don't get me wrong I love Candy; she's my best friend, but man sometimes I just wanted to smack her!

I follow the flood into history, one of the few things I'm good at as I stop, I see a blonde tapping his hand on the desk in a bored fashion as his friends talk. Andy looks up and smiles nervously; I return it with a small nod, noticing the bruised split lip as Ned pulls me to our usual seats, he liked to copy my work so had to sit next to me

I just shake my head at him as the class starts. But half way through a not falls onto the table, my name scribbled on the front. I look around carefully before opening it

Hey,

Andy

I laugh and quickly jot down

So you're actually acknowledging me hehe

You look bored shitless

Mae

I cross out my name and hand it back, returning to the lesion because hey, this is the one of few things I'm good at!

When the note reaches me again I smile ear to ear at the words before me

I am, I hate history plus my friends are kind of bugging me… I never realized how much crap they talk and Stubby keeps bitching about his arm,

And yeah… we're friends right?

Andy

I smile at that, that he hadn't just pretended Saturday never happened because the truth is I kind of expected him to. So I write one last note with a smile on my face

I tried to tell you, their assholes… and tell Stubby if he tries shoving Brian into a locker again he's going to lose that fucking arm!

Yes, Andy, we are

Mae

I look back over my shoulder to meet his gaze; a tight lipped laugh is shared before returning to face forward. What I didn't expect was Ned's questioning gaze "are you passing note's with a prep?"

I shrug, jotting down notes from the board as I answer "Yeah, that's Andy"

That's the second time today I've confirmed I like someone I shouldn't, he's looking at me as if I grew a second head and if the shoe was on the other foot I'd give him the save look. But I'm busy right now, too busy to notice the face at the window looking in… watching me

I'm alone for my next class… math, I suck at math and Larry isn't here for me to bum answers off "Um, Mae?"

I turn around and smile brightly "Hey Ally-cat"

She looks good, back to her black on black thing, but not as heavy, Andy's blue sweater draped over her shoulders and with a headband brushing back her hair. She lets out a breath, had she thought I'd forget about her? …ok so I forgot she was in this class with me but hey, I didn't forget her

"So, how was the rest of your weekend?" I ask while linking our arms and walking into Math

She just shrugs, cheeks brightening to a rosy red "it was ok, Andy took me to a party, we didn't stay long. But he took me out for pizza and drove me home"

I feel a warm glow at that "Good, I'm glad, wait, why didn't you stick around the party?... move!"

Two kids quickly scrabble from the seats I wanted as we sit down. She bites her lip and fidgets with her fingers "they were Shit's; they didn't like me being there and some of them made it pretty obvious. Andy stood up for me though"

"Well that explains the lip!" we share a laugh, good for him! Boy finally started thinking for himself, but if I find out who was ragging on Allison I'm kicking the shit out of them…

We spend most of the lesion talking, about Class, the others, when could meet up after school once I'd served my grounding "I saw John this morning"

My head all but rips off my shoulders to look up at her "Really, what did he say?"

She gives me this knowing smile and answers "I waved, he nodded back… it was just in the halls before class so… you haven't seen him yet?"

I shake my head and play with the scarf around my neck "no… hey you know you're sitting with me at lunch right? And I swear if you and lover boy suck face I'm going to fucking puke!"

She laughs at that, this was good, so far…

I run over to my locker to change over my books, my next class was Chemistry with Brian. I look at all the passing faces before opening my locker, only for a voice to question "Mae, have you lost your damn mind?"

"Hey Candy" I groan, because I knew what was coming

"I just heard your passing notes with preps, hanging out with some loser and this morning with that geek… what the fuck's going on?" she all but screams as I slam the locker closed

I meet her angry glare with a scoff "What? You can fuck half the school but I can't have other friends?"

She looks almost pissed and if anyone else had said that to her she'd have freaked, but we're best friends, we fight… "Fuck you Mae!" and she storms off

"Wait… Candy!" I call after her because damn, I guess I went too far, but it wasn't the first time. Candy and I threw shit like that at each other all the time… defensive is just who we are

"Mae?" I turn around to find a skittish looking Brain who smiles weekly with his sun catching braces "Um, do you want to walk to class together?"

I nod with smile, letting out a breath because I really needed to not deal with Candy's shit "sure thing Bri, lets bounce"

He smiles as we walk, getting more than a few stares and when we walk into the class and sit next to each other near the window, I look out and see some of John's friends in the quad screwing around a smoking… but he wasn't there… "so what are you doing for lunch?"

"What? oh, um… Cafeteria" he laughs then with a smile before I realize what he actually means "oh, right. Don't know, I told Allison she and Andy could sit with us, you joining?"

He smiles and nods "thanks Mae, I'd love to"

I lean back on my chair as Brian tries to show me about whatever the hell it is we're making, I sniff something and he laughs, it's just salt water so I flick some at him, he tries to snatch the jar, and spills some on me so I splash the water in his face "Cassidy, Johnson! This is not a playground"

After getting shouted at we still, holding in the laughter as we look at each other, both oblivious to the dumbfounded stares of the class

After class we meet up with Allison, her class was across the hall, but as we walk our eyes meet that of a certain redhead. I wasn't sure what to do, she looked back at her friends, giggling about something while eyeballing Allison, the news about her and Andy spread through the school like wild fire.

I look at the two beside me, they seem unsure so I chirm "Claire?"

Her eyes meet mine with a nervous gulp "Mae…"

The bitches around her stare as if to say 'what the fuck?' while I motion with a lopsided smile "you coming to lunch?"

Her friends snigger, I could really fuck those girls up. Claire looks at them, her eyes flickering between the crowd of copies and the unlikely friends she'd made.

She swallow's hard; I can see the conflict in her eyes before she snipes, true to her word "with you? Like that would ever happen!"

I can see Allison and Brain are hurt by that, but I'd predicted nothing less, even as the disappointment sets in and I shake my head at the girl "thanks Red, for keeping my expectations of you effortlessly below par"

She looks like I just smacked her square in the jaw as I scoff, turning back to my friends, they look hurt, Brian can't take his eyes off her until I tug on his arm "Come on guys"

When the bell chimes I find myself walking through a door I knew well "Mae, hello dear"

A bright smile comes to my face at the sight of a white haired woman, who's way to skinny for the vibrant baggy clothes she wears and too young for the horn rimmed glasses dangling from a chain on her neck "Hey, Mrs. Tate. I was just wondering if you had any openings in the Wallflower's?"

She sits back on her desk with her hands folded against each other "well now that depends on the talent… do you have someone in mind?"

I quickly take out the sketch book I'd finally convinced Allison to hand over to me "Her names Allison Reynolds, I think she's one of us Mrs. T"

She stands, coming over to look at the works I'm offering up, obviously interested. As she flips through the pages she speaks more to herself than to me, she does that "hum, interesting. There's a dept. of fear and mayhem, splashes of color show a longing… what's the artist name again?"

"Allison Reynolds" I smile, I knew this would be a walk in the park. Mrs. Tate was cool, for a teacher; in fact she's my favorite teacher

Her blue specked orbs look up at me over her glasses with a smile "bring her to the next meeting"

"Yes, you won't regret it Mrs. T" I smile, Allison was going to do great here

She hands me back the pad and shrugs "well, when one of my best students vouchers for someone, I'm interested. Now get out here, I have eat to you know"

"Later Mrs. T" I beam before leaving the room, Allison waiting for me biting her nails against the wall with Brian stood beside her

I walk out with, hiding my excitement and her face falls "Mae I told it was a waste of time"

"She wants you at the next meeting!" I smirk and her jaw drops and she pulls Brian into a hug then aces over to me, her arms wrapping tightly around me as she beams "I can't believe it"

I give her a smile as we pull away and an arm rounds her waist, lips grazing her cheek as passersby scoff is disgust "Can't believe what?"

"Mae got me a meeting with the Wallflower's" she smiles up to Andy who smirks happily "Allison that's awesome!"

We turn and head over to the cafeteria as a flash of denim catches the corner of my eye "Mae? You coming?"

"Um, you guys go ahead, I'll catch up" I say before heading out to the quad.

The place isn't too crowded, everyone having raced to the food line as I round the bleachers. Standing there is a small troop of boys, some a knew, most I didn't, but one guy, sat in a greyed t-shirt hidden under a blue pinstriped button-up and denim jacket, a chain tied to his baggy jeans with one booted foot rested on the wall behind him, a cigarette hanging from his lips and a compass dangling mid chest.

"Well, well, what have we here?" one of the little scumbags eyeballs me and normally I would beat the shit out if him, but a hand slaps his chest hard

Pushing himself off the wall footsteps move forward as I fiddle with the ends of the crimson wrap as he smirk's that lopsided smile, flicking away ash "you lost?"

I look him straight in those big chocolate brown eyes and smile with a shrug "that depends…"

He chuckles lightly, nearing as his friends look on suspiciously "that right…"

I roll my eyes as he gets close, tired of the game I laugh "your such a…"

I don't get to finish as his gloved hand reaches out to cup the back of my head, tangling with my curls as he pulls me forward into a hard, lip bruising kiss. I hear the surprised gasps of the boys behind him as we break the kiss and he throws the remains of his burned up bud to the floor

"So, lunch?" I ask with a bite of my lip, he pretends to think it over before throwing an arm over my shoulder "you buying… later guys"

"Wait…"

"The Fuck?"

"Bender?"

"Dude?!"

They all call for him as we walk away I just smile up at him "so Johnny where have you been all day?"

"Around" he shrugs, towering over me as we get into the cafeteria, again with the stares.

John grabs a tray and pushes us into the line as we plate up I look ahead and groan "Damn, no meatball subs left"

"You want a sub?" John asks with a look to the trays in front of us, dodging out of the line.

I see him squaring up to some guy, intimidating him before he takes the sub I want with a smile and a mocking thanks, before strolling back, stopping mid stroll to snatch something else of someone's lunch, he's such an asshole.

With a smirk he places the sub and a carton of strawberry milk on our tray "looks like you got the last one, lucky girl"

I smile with a roll of my blue gems "Thanks Johnny"

He just shrugs playfully before grabbing some cheesy fries, tater tots and a soda before smiling and we move on to the deserts.

Once I pay for lunch we turn around and I see a hand waving at us, it's Allison. John takes the tray as we walk over to find Allison between Brain and Andy, but what shocks me is that beside Brian is a guy with more hair gel than brain cells, Ned.

I didn't really expect him here, Ned never comes to lunch, he usually spends the time jamming in the music room with his band; the Rioters… they suck by the way

He smiles at me and my shocked expression "Hey Mae, Andy was just explaining to us about that lip"

I give him a grateful smile back and I am grateful because he's trying, that's what friends do right? It's more than Candy's doing anyway

I take a seat next to him, only for his face to fall as a pair of hands reach over to put a tray of food before me, then climbing over to sit next to me, arm over the back of my chair as he smiles cockily "aw look the gangs together… no princess I see"

"You actually expected her?" Andy asks, casting a glance over to the redhead, her laughter as fake as most her friend's noses

Popping a fry into his mouth he shrugs "Nope, even the fact you're here is a fucking gift from god Sporto"

They laugh with him as I look to Ned, who's glaring, full on glaring at John with a firmly set jaw, what's his deal?

"Hey, what you doing this weekend?" I look over at John as he leans into me

Smiling I shrug "detention with you Saturday, I'm working the lunch rush Sunday, why?"

He smirks, the arm that was on my chair now over my shoulder "was thinking we'd go catch a movie or something. I know the vender, no deposit required"

"Sounds like a plan, what movie do you want to see? There's a few out I like the look of" I ask before taking a bite of my sandwich, it's cold but it's still good

"The Goonies seems pretty deadly" he says and I just look at him, sharing a smile because he knows… pirates dude!

"I want to see that Weird Science" Brian bumps in while I nudge John and carry on with my meal

"Looking for idea's homeboy?" I smack John on the head and his response is to kiss my cheek

"So how did you two meet?" I suddenly remember Ned is at the table, bad Mae

I chew quickly in hopes to answer before John pipes in with "AA"

I elbow hip in the rips as I swallow, asshole, but notice that he doesn't recover as quick as usual, his free hand gripping his side "Johnny you ok?"

The pained expression dies as he slaps on a smile "fucking aces Angel Mae"

"Stop fucking calling me that!" I groan, everyone just laughs, even grumpy guts Ned…

"Mae?" a voice asks and I turn to be met with my best friend looking down to me, pleadingly

I look her over for a second before smirking "you going to stand there all day? Grab a chair"

As I turn back I don't notice her and John locking eyes, a stern stare before he sifts closer to me, arm now firmly around my waist while Ned gives him the stink eye and Candy watches us in unvoiced horror… but I didn't notice

Lunch flew by in a flash and we all got more than a few stares as John and I walked the halls hand in hand, Andy and Allison to, with Brian trailing behind us with Ned and Candy. As we pass Claire in the hall I don't look at her, too busy with John's lips on my neck but I can feel it… the lament. The thing is she's too afraid, afraid of the world outside her perfectly shaped bubble.

In the end she made her choice… and if she wants to live a life of self-loathing and regret, then who am I to judge

I learn nothing in English, what with Allison making squealing noises when asked a question and John's tongue down my throat, lightly nibbling my lip… not that I'm complaining, hell he could have set me on fire but as long as he kept kissing me that way, I wouldn't have noticed

After that French was pretty boring, and I couldn't help but feel it.

When the bell rang I raced to my locker, we said we'd meet at my car and I'd give everyone a ride home rather than them take the bus, John refused the ride but still wants to meet up. "Mae, we seriously need to talk!"

Without warning I'm ambushed by my other best friend "Sure, what's up?"

Ned pretty much backs me into my locker as he grits "Bender? Are you fucking serious? The guy's an total asshole"

Throwing my backpack over my shoulder I shrug "and you're a prick, who gives a fuck?"

"Mae, you're obviously having some traumatic break but come on, you saw what that guy did to Briggs. You can't date him!" is he screwing with me right now?

I just stare at him and growl "what gives you the fucking right to decide that? Nothing, that's what!"

"Mae, babe, I'm trying to protect you" I push him back because he is way to fucking close for comfort

"Well don't, I'm not a child Ned, I'll date whoever the fuck I want and you can keep your trap shut or fuck off, ok?" then he grabs my arm, like, really hard

"Mae you have to listen to me!" he snarls before I punch him in the gut and push him back and bite "No, I really fucking don't!"

With that I run the fuck away, because what the fuck was that?!

When I get to my precious baby the others are already there, all except Candy who wasn't in last period either… odd

"Hey baby, you ok?" John looks at me, seeming worried about the whole panting and flushed thing

Catching my breath I lean into him "yeah, got to lay of the smokes"

They laugh as I unlock the car, the other three climbing in as I turn to John "Sure you don't want a ride?"

"I can walk. Besides if this doesn't work out you don't know where I live so…ow! You know you hit me a lot!" he groans with a feisty smile, because yeah, I kicked him

"Well you act like an asshole a lot!" I play along as his arms circle my waist, slowly pulling me to him even closer

"It's all part of my charm" I roll my eyes before meeting his kiss… brows touching as I let go of his bottom lip "I'll see you tomorrow Johnny…"

I head over to the car, constantly looking back until he calls "Mae…!"

I look back at him, holding the driver side door open. He just smiles, letting out a breath and I climb in and blow him a kiss while the others wave…

When I finally got home I changed into my sweats and a shirt before cuddling up beside my aunt Jane and Eli with dinner trays, tonight's the night we eat the leftover from yesterday's roast in front of the TV. She always makes way to much "So how was school, did you see that boy…um, Jack was it?"

"John and yes I did, it was a pretty fu-messed up day actually" I take a long swig of my soda then, thankfully correcting myself because I don't swear in front of the kid or aunt Jane, that's just disrespectful

She looks over at me, seeming perfect despite her ratty dressing gown and lack of make-up "Explain…"

"Candy got in my face about me hanging out with new people, but I think that's fixed and then Ned went serial killer on me about dating Johnny" I say while cutting up the chicken pieces and shoving them in my mouth

She scoffs lightly before turning back to her meal "I never did like that boy, he was even worse when you were courting"

"My god you're old, no one says 'courting'" oh, wait? Did I not mention Ned and I dated? Oh, well now you know

Suddenly a voice from beside me comes out of nowhere "Mae and John, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…"

"Shut it pipsqueak!" I laugh and go in for the kill; Eli nearly knocks his tray over as I tickle him "Careful you two…"

It was a strange day, with its ups and downs, but it was a good day never the less and I was good, for the first time in a long time I could actually feel it, that sensation I almost forgot… happiness

The only question is, how long could it last?