The paramedics swarmed into the room and Beckett stayed where she was, her arms still protectively around Castle, trying her best to answer the questions they fired at her. What happened? He was attacked, obviously. With a baseball bat. And a shoe. Does he have any allergies? Not that she knew of. She then realized how little she actually knew about Castle. Sure, they spoke all the time. He made it a point to tell her everything that was going on with Alexis and Martha, but what did she really know about him? He was Richard Edgar Castle, formally Richard Alexander Rodgers. He was raised by his mother, his father was a mystery. He'd been married twice and divorced twice and had a teenage daughter. This was all information that she could have gotten from his biography in his books. For god's sake, she'd been working with the man for more than three years now and she didn't even know his favorite color, animal, or season. She was sure that he knew hers'. When this was all over, Beckett swore to herself that she would get to know Castle better.

In a blink of an eye, Castle was hoisted off her lap and onto a waiting stretcher and Beckett felt empty at the loss of the consultant in her arms. She sat stock still for a couple moments, trying to understand what had just happened. Everything was moving too fast. It wasn't until she heard someone call her name that she realized she was still crouched on the ground, blood on her hands and clothing.

"Yo, Beckett."

Her head snapped up, eyes wide and confused, staring at Esposito as if she had just realized he was there. The three arrested men had been escorted out of the room at some point to be transported back to the precinct, where they would be interrogated and charged. There was no way they were getting out of this.

Esposito had a look of sorrow in his deep brown eyes, but he kept his normally stoic mask as he tilted his head to the door where the paramedics had left, asking wordlessly what her next move was. Right. First things first, get Castle to a hospital. She jumped up and sent a quick nod Esposito's way before hurrying down the hallway, hoping that the ambulance hadn't left already. Her luck seemed to be improving, as the medical personnel were just putting a breathing mask over Castle's face and had not closed the doors. They were spouting out all sorts of medical jargon that she didn't understand and frankly, didn't want to understand. That was Lanie's forte, not hers.

Beckett hooked a hand around the back door of the ambulance and fixed one of the paramedics with the sharpest gaze she could muster in her current state.

"I'm coming with."

She declared, pleased that her voice didn't falter. The paramedic looked at her for a moment, obviously saw something and relented, holding the door open for her. Beckett climbed aboard and took a seat near Caste, trying to make herself as small as possible as not to disrupt the medics or the machines that were already hooked up to the writer. His good hand slid off the gurney and she had grasped it even before she realized what she was doing. Another paramedic caught the movement and opened her mouth to say something, but the one from before nudged her and shook his head. It has some significance, but she couldn't think of one right now. Later. Beckett let out a small sigh of relief, even though this ordeal was far from over. Of course, the only reason she was holding Castle's hand was because she was sure he needed some comfort. Only reason, honest.

The ride to the hospital was, thankfully, uneventful. Castle continued to breathe and the paramedics continued to talk about his injuries in terms that Beckett tried to follow but soon got lost in. As soon as the ambulance stopped in the ER driveway, there were more people with serious looks on their faces, cataloguing his injuries outloud and quickly whisking him away.

The waiting room was like all waiting rooms; boring, cold, sterile. Kate sat down in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs and stared down at her bloodstained hands in her lap. How the hell had this happened? Beckett's anger was mostly focused on Turner, but some of it was towards her team. Esposito and Ryan were trained; Espo was ex-military and Ryan, ex-narcotics. Not only had they been trained to protect innocent people at all costs, they also knew better. It made her sound like an exasperated mother dealing with her two troublesome sons, but it was the truth. For as long as Beckett had known the two men, there had never been such a large lack of good judgement as this before. She was willing to write it off as a one time happenstance, a complete mistake that she was sure would never happen again, but she would be having words with Esposito and Ryan, that was for sure.

Kate had only been sitting there for a few minutes when she realized that she had to inform Martha and Alexis. That was a conversation she was not looking forward to, but it had to be done. She felt responsible for the attack and hearing the voices of Castle's mother and daughter was going to be difficult. Beckett pulled out her cell phone and scrolled through the contacts, selecting Castle's home phone number. The nurse at the front desk sent her a look and pointed at the sign that asked that no cell phones be used in the waiting room. Beckett snatched her badge from her jacket pocket and the woman looked away. She hesitated a moment, then pressed call.

The phone rang three times before it was picked up. The person picking it up sounded tired.

"Hello, Castle residence, Alexis Castle speaking."

Kate closed her eyes tight, wishing Martha has answered the phone. She might have been able to handle it if it wasn't the sweet voice of the red headed girl. As it was, a lump formed in her throat, rendering her speechless.

"Hello?"

Alexis's voice asked, bringing Beckett back to the present. There was a hint of exasperation in the girl's tone now, as if she thought it was a prank call. Beckett could also hear an underlying tone of panic in it; she supposed that Alexis had to have that, what with her father being such a danger magnet. Beckett took a deep breath, wincing at the medicinal smell of the waiting room and cleared her throat.

"Uh, yah, hi, Alexis. It's Detective Kate Beckett, NYPD. Is, is your grandmother home?"

Why she felt the need to introduce herself to the girl she didn't know. She tried to keep her voice as steady as possible, but obviously Alexis detected something in it, as the teenager grew panicked over the phone.

"Detective Beckett? No, why, what is it? Is it my dad? Is he okay?"

Kate bit her lip and opened her eyes to stare across the room, focusing on the rhythmic typing of the desk nurse. She raised her hand to rub her forehead but her eyes caught sight of the blood covering it before she could. Her hands were quickly put back in her lap and her teeth went back to worrying her lip.

"He's...he's in the hospital right now, Alexis...I'm not sure how he is yet. He was pretty injured...do you want one of my guys to come pick you up and drive you here?"

Kate said, not wanting to go into details with the girl. Her gaze was still focused on the wall. It was soothing. Smooth, white...a speck of red. Wait. Red? Beckett peered closer, breath quickening. Blood? On the walls? Was it from Castle? Or did they miss it when they were painting? She stood up, her legs trembling slightly, and walked over to the opposite wall. Alexis was talking in her ear, but she couldn't pay attention. It wasn't blood. It couldn't be. She reached out to touch the speck and felt cool plastic. Beckett took a deep breath and shook her head. Okay. Just a thumbtack that someone had stuck into the wall. Get yourself together. She turned back around, meeting the curious gazes of the other patrons in the room. She looked away and hurried back to her seat, embarrassed at her emotions getting the better of her. Alexis was still talking on the phone and she tuned in to hear her name being called. That was the second time that day that she hadn't realized someone was talking to her. First Esposito, now Alexis. It seemed like she was really worried about a man that she considered only a consultant. Of course, Beckett knew that Castle wasn't just a consultant. At least, not anymore. Over the years, through ups and downs, they had become more. Friends, confidants. Maybe more. A buzzing in her ear...right, Alexis!

"-ive Beckett! Kate!"

Alexis sounded more frightened now, if that was even possible. Beckett cursed herself for stressing the girl out more. She quickly replied.

"Sorry, Alexis, I got distracted. Uh, what did you say?"

A headache was forming in the base of her forehead, but she didn't want to touch her face until she was sure that all of Castle's blood was washed off.

"I said yes, if you can get someone to drive me. What happened?"

And there was the question. What had happened? How did she answer that? Her father was in a situation that shouldn't have been dangerous wit two skilled police officers, but things happened and he got injured. It sounded weak in her head, impersonal. Like she was talking about someone she didn't know.

"He got attacked...I'll fill you in when you get here. Ryan or Esposito will come pick you up."

Kate hung up before she could hear a reply. She was afraid to hear accusations coming from the intelligent red head. Was it her fault? It felt like it was. She should have been there. If gates had let her go. She should have kept Castle away from danger. She should have...so many 'should haves' and 'what ifs' flew through her mind, but in the end she came down to one conclusion. She couldn't go back and change it now, so there was no point in dwelling on it. Of course, coming to this decision didn't lessen the guilt one bit.

Next call was to Ryan. She'd apparently been waiting longer than she had originally thought, because when she called, Ryan answered and told her that the crime scene (she internally flinched at that) was almost finished being processed. He promised that he'd have one of them pick Alexis up and drive her safely to the hospital. Just before he hung up, Ryan got quiet. Then, in a small voice, he asked the question that Beckett had been asking herself since she had found Castle.

"Is he going to be alright?"

Kate sighed, wishing she had an answer, not just for the Irish detective but for herself as well.

"I dunno, Kevin...it looked pretty bad…"

She said, slipping out of her detective persona for a moment. She thought back to the last time she had seen the writer. Pale as a ghost, except for the bright splash of crimson blood covering parts of his body. Castle was never that still. He was, as she had put it when she had first found out that he had used his book as an reason to tag along with her team, like 'a nine year old on a sugar rush'.

"...I'm sorry, Kate. So is Javi."

Ryan's guilty voice filtered over the phone and Kate pursed her lips. Her anger at her two partners had lessened a bit as she had sat there, but that didn't mean it was completely gone.

"It's not me you owe an apology to, Ryan."

She said curtly, ended the call before she could say anything else. Angry words said in fear were often hurtful. She remembered her mother teaching her that.

Phone calls now out of the way, Beckett could focus on washing the blood -Castle's blood- off her hands. She informed the nurse where she would be, just in case the doctor came out while she was in the bathroom. Once she was safely inside the tiled and mirrored room, Kate let her composure fall for the first time since back at the casino. She braced herself on the edge of the sink and took a couple of deep breaths, pushing back the prickling sensation at the corner of her eyes. She would not cry. Beckett pushed herself up and turned on the water, washing her hands almost robotically. She watched the water turn pink and then swirl down the drain. She took care of the hand prints that had been left on the porcelain sink when she had leaned on it and then looked at herself in the mirror. Her face was pale (though not as pale as Castle, her mind supplied unhelpfully) and her eyes were wide and lost looking. The tight bun that her hair had been pulled back into was still intact, besides the couple of loose strands that dangled in her face now. Other than that, she didn't look as bad as Cast- as bad as she could of. When Alexis arrived, she didn't want to scare the girl. There was nothing to be done about her clothes, however; her black leather jacket was crusted with dried blood, as were her pants. Her scarf was now more red than grey. Somewhere along the line she had lost her gloves; she was guessing they were back at the crime scene. She wasn't even sure she wanted them back, as they were probably covered in Castle's blood as well.

Okay, splash water on your face and get back out there, Kate, her mind screamed at her. There would be time to let down her guard later, when she was alone. Beckett took one last deep breath and walked out of the bathroom. Since her hands were finally blood-free, she reached up and rubbed the bridge of her nose, hoping to chase away the headache she could feel coming.

It seemed like she had exited the bathroom at a good time, as just then, a doctor came out of the swinging doors and looked around before saying out loud the name of his patient.

"Family of Richard Castle?"