**Disclaimer: All things Star Wars belong to George Lucas. EU Characters
belong to their respective authors. This story is just for fun!! No money
is made off of this!! So ENJOY!!***
**This series of Vignettes begin with snippets from my first online fanfic Interlude: A Jaina Solo and Jagged Fel Story and will continue with thoughts throughtout the novels.**
BORLEIAS
Why am I here?
That is a question that has been plaguing me since the moment I left the Hapan Cluster and came here, to the planet Borleias. My original intent was to speak with Master Skywalker about the Yuuzhan Vong, to learn more about them so I could report back to my father with the findings. My second-in- command, Shawnkyr Nuruodo, is adamant that we send word back to the Unknown Regions although I feel that we still need more information about the enemy. The Yuuzhan Vong are a threat not only to the Known regions but to us as well. Many members of the Chiss parliament are blind to this or they simply do not comprehend the greater threat. I hope that our fact-finding mission will grant us answers that before we could not provide.
I've had trouble sleeping tonight which is odd, considering the fact that I'm weary beyond words and can barely support myself. I came here, to the landing grid where my ship is berthed, to try and find a peace of mind before I finally lay down to rest. On a planet that is strange to me, surrounded by beings that I do not know, being near the Clawcraft gives me some comfort. Does that sound silly? I feel like an outsider here; the son of an Imperial General among a handful of veteran Rebel agents.
The evening sky is beautiful tonight. It reminds me a lot of my youth, when Davin and I use to walk down to Curando's Point and lay on the rocks while watching the stars. We would stay awake for hours, laughing and talking. Sometimes Father would join us and Davin and I would listen intently while he told us stories about his days as a rookie pilot.
I closed my eyes, turning my head upward a little. The wind whipped around me, it's touch gentle. I miss those days. Life was simple and carefree then. Most of all, I miss Davin and Cherith. I would give anything to have them back with us. To spare the girls and Mother the pain. Sometimes I wonder if my father compares me and my actions to Davin, to the accomplishments he achieved before his death. There are moments where I feel as if I am not living up to my own expectations, as if I'm stuck in my brother's shadows, even now in the wake of his death. I see the disappointment in my father's expression and I fear that I will never be able to find a way to erase that from his eyes.
Somebody was standing next to me. I should have been more alert, more attentive to my surroundings for I did not like being caught in such moments of reverie. Opening my eyes, I was surprised to see Jaina Solo standing there. My breath caught in my throat and my heart skipped a beat. Even after spending several days in hyperspace and weary from the events she had been through recently, she still looked lovely.
I wasn't in the mood for company, however. Perhaps her Jedi powers will tell her that and she'll leave me alone. I need to get some sort of focus before I go to sleep. I'll be leaving early to engage in a recon mission for my uncle. I can't allow anything else to distract me.
And Jaina Solo was certainly a distraction.
"I was going to check on my ship when I noticed you standing here. I didn't get the chance before, but I wanted to thank you for agreeing to fly under my command with Twin Suns. I know that couldn't have been an easy decision for you."
Her voice was light but the wind seemed to carry it gently to my ears. Did I just say that? When did I start talking like I was some Chandrilan poet? I must be tired. Either that or I need a drink. I nice tall glass of Dodbri whiskey would be nice.
Oh, I guess I should say something. I have too much on my mind. I shouldn't be rude.
"I can take orders as well as I give them. I have no problem with the prospect of flying under your command. I think my uncle's plan is a very intriguing one. I look forward to assisting him in anyway I can."
I turned my stare back to the stars. I'm not familiar with the constellations here. I wonder where Corellia is from here? I've never been there. It would be nice to visit there some day. To see where my parents came from.
"I'm sure that whatever Wedge has in mind for our neighbours on Pyria VI is going to infuriate them royally. I'm glad that we can be a part of it."
"Hmm." You know what I'd really like to do? Fly with my father someday. I think that would be the best thing ever. I would love to see him in action, to have him see me in my element.
"Hmm? That's all you have to say ?"
I nodded slowly. Then it dawned on me, Jaina was still here. How terribly rude of me. I got lost in my thoughts again. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.
"Is everything okay?"
"I was thinking about how my father will react once he learns of my presence here." I turned to face her. I don't know why but I suddenly felt compelled to talk to her about my father. Maybe it was because I was so rude just now, not acknowledging her presence. I'm embarrassed that I did that. I'm not usually so preoccupied with my thoughts.
"What's this? Colonel Fel is afraid of angering his father?"
"No. I'm afraid of losing his respect."
Wait a moment! Wait one moment! Did I just say that? I felt the blush hit my cheeks the moment those words slipped from me. What was wrong with me? All of sudden, I feel like I have no control over my behaviour. First I ignore Jaina then I tell her something that I didn't want anyone to know! Oh, I need a drink....
"I can't believe I said that outloud."
Jaina grinned and even under the dimness from the lights here at the landing grid, I could see the sweetness of her gesture. She was amused by my actions. Great. I'm making a wonderful impression on her. Was it common for men to make fools of themselves? If so, then I think I better quit while I'm ahead.
"I'm sure your father will be proud of you for making a stand here. I can't imagine why you would lose his respect when all you're doing is help fight against the Vong."
Nodding slowly, this time I thought about what I was going to say. "My father and the Chiss parliament are unwilling to make any commitments to the war until they know more about the enemy. I'm suppose to be gathering tactical information, and I don't think my father will see my proactive stance here as a reconnaissance mission. It's complicated."
"I doubt it's as complicated as you make it out to be." She smiled encouragingly, her eyes locked on mine. I wonder if anyone has every told how beautiful her eyes were. I swear I could lose myself in them.
"I'm the only son he has left. You have no idea how much of a burden that is."
If my jaw had dropped any further, I would have tripped over it. Twice. Why am I saying these things? That's it. I hate this. From now on I'm looking in the opposite direction when Jaina's around me. I lose all sense of thought and I sound like a damned monkey-lizard.
Fortunately, I was saved by a Jedi Master as Luke Skywalker approached, interrupted our discussion. Skywalker stopped in front of us and I fortunately had the good sense to regain my composure. I bowed to the Jedi Master, a formal greeting if I ever had a need for one right now. At least for a few seconds, with my head down, I didn't have to look at Jaina.
"I didn't get the chance earlier to welcome you to Borleias. It's good to see you, Jaina." He wrapped his niece in a tight hug and I was more than happy to see Jaina blush and squirm. Now she knows how I felt...
"It's good to see you, Uncle Luke. How did you know I was here?"
"I didn't. We'll have time to talk later." Luke smiled then turned to me. "I came to see Colonel Fel."
"Oh." Jaina sighed, rejected.
"It will only take a moment, then I'll leave the two of you alone."
Good! Jaina blushed again. Now we were even!
Geez, that sounds childish. I need to get some sleep.
"I just wanted to say how impressed I was with the way you conducted yourself in Wedge's office. If I didn't know better, I would think that there was a bit of politician in your blood."
"I hope not. I couldn't get my point across like that on a daily basis. I'd go insane."
Luke chuckled. "I agree. That's why I leave the diplomacy to my sister." He paused, shoving one hand in his pants pocket. "I thought I'd stop by now, since I probably won't see you tomorrow before you leave. May the Force be with you, Colonel. Be safe out there."
He extended his hand to me and I shook it firmly. "Thank you, sir. I will." It was nice of him to come by and wish me well.
Jaina, on the other hand, looked as if she had just been told to keep her hands out of the candy dish.
"Wait a second. Don't tell me that you're returning to the Unknown Regions? Is this because you don't want to face daddy's wrath? You committed yourself to Twin Suns and now you're abandoning us? How can you do that? I thought---"
Damn, she's cute when she's angry. I had to force a smile from my face.
Master Skywalker spoke before I did. "Colonel Fel is not returning to the Unknown Regions. He is taking part in a reconnaissance mission to the Kesna Sector, and will be gone for three days. He will be returning in time to assist your squadron, Jaina."
"Sorry." She blushed again. Chalk another one up for the Chiss commander!
I maintained my usual decorum and spoke in the tone of voice I knew annoyed her. "It was easy to assume that I was heading back to the Unknown Regions, considering our brief conversation. No need to apologize."
A look passed between her and her uncle, one that I couldn't decipher. It made me nervous.
"So, who's all going with you to Kesna?"
"I'm going alone."
That answer didn't have the expected result. Given our tumultuous relationship as of late, I assumed that she would be happy to get rid of me for a while.
I was wrong.
"What? Are you crazy?"
Okay, I didn't like that. I turned to her, gave her my best icy stare. It worked for she flinched under my stare. "I think we've just concluded that if I were crazy, I'd be a politician. I have been on a number of solo recon operations and I know what to look for, how to gather critical data in a swift, effective way. I don't need any assistance."
"Isn't Kesna near Coruscant?" she turned back to her uncle.
Luke nodded. "Yes, Kesna is near the Sesswenna Sector. We haven't had a scout there in six months and it's important that we find out if the Yuuzhan Vong are there, or have been there."
"So, you're sending one flyer in to do the recon? That's ridiculous! What if the Vong are there? You have no idea what to expect." She turned back to me, folding her arms across her chest. "And just how are going to survey an entire sector in three days?"
Have I mentioned how pretty she is when she's angry?
"Colonel Fel and Wedge have come to a mutual agreement regarding this assignment. If you want the particulars, you'll need to discuss them with the colonel, here, or talk to Wedge."
"I'm going with you."
This was not what I wanted. What was she trying to prove? I tried to keep my expression impassive. This was the most stubborn woman I've ever met. Must be Solo genes.
"No, you are not."
"Yes, I am. The Rogues always travel with a few recon X-Wings. I'll take one of those."
"I don't need any assistance."
"Fine. I won't assist you then. I'll do my own scouting."
"That's ridiculous---"
"Isn't that what you're doing?"
Did I say stubborn? I think annoying is more appropriate.
"That's different--"
"How?"
"You have responsibilities to Twin Suns. You need to stay here."
"You have a responsibility to them as well---"
"You're the commanding officer---"
"Kyp can take over while I'm away---"
"---and your family needs you."
"What do you mean by that?"
Oh boy. I think I hit a nerve. And what am I doing anyway? Arguing with her about my mission? I better think carefully before I react. "Jaina, your family has suffered terrible losses. You've only been on Borleias for a few hours and now you want to leave again. Your immediate family is here; you need to spend time with them, to grieve---"
"Don't tell me what to do!"
If her words were poisonous, I'd be infected by now. I really made her angry. I never intended to do that.
Why am I here again?
"I am not telling you what to do. I am simply stating--"
She thrust a finger at me and I was suddenly very thankful that she was unarmed. "No! You're dictating and no one tells me how to run my life! Don't you dare try to tell me what I should think, what I should feel---Why are you looking at us like that?!"
I followed that queue and turned to Master Skywalker. He was looking at us in the strangest way. A combination of surprise and amusement. I don't believe he heard a single word we said.
Jaina leaned over and poked her uncle. "I'm sorry. Did you say something?"
"I asked why you were looking at us like that. That's the stupidest grin I've ever seen."
Surprisingly, Luke laughed. "I was listening to the two of you and I was reminded of when Han and Leia first met."
He what? What did he just say? That Jaina and I remind him of Leia Organa Solo and Han Solo? Surely we don't sound like that, do we? I was so stunned, I couldn't move. I couldn't think! I did happen to catch a glimpse of Jaina out of the corner of my eye and she looked just as shell-shocked as I imagine I did.
Did Master Skywalker really think that Jaina and I were going to be the next Leia and Han? Did he have one of those Jedi visions?
I need to get away from these Force-users. This stuff freaks me out.
I cleared my throat and turned to Jaina. She still looked mortified. ""I leave at oh-eight-hundred. Not a second later."
"I'll be here." she didn't meet me gaze. Probably because she suddenly found herself in the middle of my recon mission. Serves her right for arguing with me.
"Fine."
"Fine."
I bowed to Master Skywalker and took my leave, heading toward the barracks. I can't believe I let her do this to me! I allowed her to manipulate her way into coming along with me. Great. Just what I wanted.
Women.
I need a drink.
**This series of Vignettes begin with snippets from my first online fanfic Interlude: A Jaina Solo and Jagged Fel Story and will continue with thoughts throughtout the novels.**
BORLEIAS
Why am I here?
That is a question that has been plaguing me since the moment I left the Hapan Cluster and came here, to the planet Borleias. My original intent was to speak with Master Skywalker about the Yuuzhan Vong, to learn more about them so I could report back to my father with the findings. My second-in- command, Shawnkyr Nuruodo, is adamant that we send word back to the Unknown Regions although I feel that we still need more information about the enemy. The Yuuzhan Vong are a threat not only to the Known regions but to us as well. Many members of the Chiss parliament are blind to this or they simply do not comprehend the greater threat. I hope that our fact-finding mission will grant us answers that before we could not provide.
I've had trouble sleeping tonight which is odd, considering the fact that I'm weary beyond words and can barely support myself. I came here, to the landing grid where my ship is berthed, to try and find a peace of mind before I finally lay down to rest. On a planet that is strange to me, surrounded by beings that I do not know, being near the Clawcraft gives me some comfort. Does that sound silly? I feel like an outsider here; the son of an Imperial General among a handful of veteran Rebel agents.
The evening sky is beautiful tonight. It reminds me a lot of my youth, when Davin and I use to walk down to Curando's Point and lay on the rocks while watching the stars. We would stay awake for hours, laughing and talking. Sometimes Father would join us and Davin and I would listen intently while he told us stories about his days as a rookie pilot.
I closed my eyes, turning my head upward a little. The wind whipped around me, it's touch gentle. I miss those days. Life was simple and carefree then. Most of all, I miss Davin and Cherith. I would give anything to have them back with us. To spare the girls and Mother the pain. Sometimes I wonder if my father compares me and my actions to Davin, to the accomplishments he achieved before his death. There are moments where I feel as if I am not living up to my own expectations, as if I'm stuck in my brother's shadows, even now in the wake of his death. I see the disappointment in my father's expression and I fear that I will never be able to find a way to erase that from his eyes.
Somebody was standing next to me. I should have been more alert, more attentive to my surroundings for I did not like being caught in such moments of reverie. Opening my eyes, I was surprised to see Jaina Solo standing there. My breath caught in my throat and my heart skipped a beat. Even after spending several days in hyperspace and weary from the events she had been through recently, she still looked lovely.
I wasn't in the mood for company, however. Perhaps her Jedi powers will tell her that and she'll leave me alone. I need to get some sort of focus before I go to sleep. I'll be leaving early to engage in a recon mission for my uncle. I can't allow anything else to distract me.
And Jaina Solo was certainly a distraction.
"I was going to check on my ship when I noticed you standing here. I didn't get the chance before, but I wanted to thank you for agreeing to fly under my command with Twin Suns. I know that couldn't have been an easy decision for you."
Her voice was light but the wind seemed to carry it gently to my ears. Did I just say that? When did I start talking like I was some Chandrilan poet? I must be tired. Either that or I need a drink. I nice tall glass of Dodbri whiskey would be nice.
Oh, I guess I should say something. I have too much on my mind. I shouldn't be rude.
"I can take orders as well as I give them. I have no problem with the prospect of flying under your command. I think my uncle's plan is a very intriguing one. I look forward to assisting him in anyway I can."
I turned my stare back to the stars. I'm not familiar with the constellations here. I wonder where Corellia is from here? I've never been there. It would be nice to visit there some day. To see where my parents came from.
"I'm sure that whatever Wedge has in mind for our neighbours on Pyria VI is going to infuriate them royally. I'm glad that we can be a part of it."
"Hmm." You know what I'd really like to do? Fly with my father someday. I think that would be the best thing ever. I would love to see him in action, to have him see me in my element.
"Hmm? That's all you have to say ?"
I nodded slowly. Then it dawned on me, Jaina was still here. How terribly rude of me. I got lost in my thoughts again. I seem to be doing that a lot lately.
"Is everything okay?"
"I was thinking about how my father will react once he learns of my presence here." I turned to face her. I don't know why but I suddenly felt compelled to talk to her about my father. Maybe it was because I was so rude just now, not acknowledging her presence. I'm embarrassed that I did that. I'm not usually so preoccupied with my thoughts.
"What's this? Colonel Fel is afraid of angering his father?"
"No. I'm afraid of losing his respect."
Wait a moment! Wait one moment! Did I just say that? I felt the blush hit my cheeks the moment those words slipped from me. What was wrong with me? All of sudden, I feel like I have no control over my behaviour. First I ignore Jaina then I tell her something that I didn't want anyone to know! Oh, I need a drink....
"I can't believe I said that outloud."
Jaina grinned and even under the dimness from the lights here at the landing grid, I could see the sweetness of her gesture. She was amused by my actions. Great. I'm making a wonderful impression on her. Was it common for men to make fools of themselves? If so, then I think I better quit while I'm ahead.
"I'm sure your father will be proud of you for making a stand here. I can't imagine why you would lose his respect when all you're doing is help fight against the Vong."
Nodding slowly, this time I thought about what I was going to say. "My father and the Chiss parliament are unwilling to make any commitments to the war until they know more about the enemy. I'm suppose to be gathering tactical information, and I don't think my father will see my proactive stance here as a reconnaissance mission. It's complicated."
"I doubt it's as complicated as you make it out to be." She smiled encouragingly, her eyes locked on mine. I wonder if anyone has every told how beautiful her eyes were. I swear I could lose myself in them.
"I'm the only son he has left. You have no idea how much of a burden that is."
If my jaw had dropped any further, I would have tripped over it. Twice. Why am I saying these things? That's it. I hate this. From now on I'm looking in the opposite direction when Jaina's around me. I lose all sense of thought and I sound like a damned monkey-lizard.
Fortunately, I was saved by a Jedi Master as Luke Skywalker approached, interrupted our discussion. Skywalker stopped in front of us and I fortunately had the good sense to regain my composure. I bowed to the Jedi Master, a formal greeting if I ever had a need for one right now. At least for a few seconds, with my head down, I didn't have to look at Jaina.
"I didn't get the chance earlier to welcome you to Borleias. It's good to see you, Jaina." He wrapped his niece in a tight hug and I was more than happy to see Jaina blush and squirm. Now she knows how I felt...
"It's good to see you, Uncle Luke. How did you know I was here?"
"I didn't. We'll have time to talk later." Luke smiled then turned to me. "I came to see Colonel Fel."
"Oh." Jaina sighed, rejected.
"It will only take a moment, then I'll leave the two of you alone."
Good! Jaina blushed again. Now we were even!
Geez, that sounds childish. I need to get some sleep.
"I just wanted to say how impressed I was with the way you conducted yourself in Wedge's office. If I didn't know better, I would think that there was a bit of politician in your blood."
"I hope not. I couldn't get my point across like that on a daily basis. I'd go insane."
Luke chuckled. "I agree. That's why I leave the diplomacy to my sister." He paused, shoving one hand in his pants pocket. "I thought I'd stop by now, since I probably won't see you tomorrow before you leave. May the Force be with you, Colonel. Be safe out there."
He extended his hand to me and I shook it firmly. "Thank you, sir. I will." It was nice of him to come by and wish me well.
Jaina, on the other hand, looked as if she had just been told to keep her hands out of the candy dish.
"Wait a second. Don't tell me that you're returning to the Unknown Regions? Is this because you don't want to face daddy's wrath? You committed yourself to Twin Suns and now you're abandoning us? How can you do that? I thought---"
Damn, she's cute when she's angry. I had to force a smile from my face.
Master Skywalker spoke before I did. "Colonel Fel is not returning to the Unknown Regions. He is taking part in a reconnaissance mission to the Kesna Sector, and will be gone for three days. He will be returning in time to assist your squadron, Jaina."
"Sorry." She blushed again. Chalk another one up for the Chiss commander!
I maintained my usual decorum and spoke in the tone of voice I knew annoyed her. "It was easy to assume that I was heading back to the Unknown Regions, considering our brief conversation. No need to apologize."
A look passed between her and her uncle, one that I couldn't decipher. It made me nervous.
"So, who's all going with you to Kesna?"
"I'm going alone."
That answer didn't have the expected result. Given our tumultuous relationship as of late, I assumed that she would be happy to get rid of me for a while.
I was wrong.
"What? Are you crazy?"
Okay, I didn't like that. I turned to her, gave her my best icy stare. It worked for she flinched under my stare. "I think we've just concluded that if I were crazy, I'd be a politician. I have been on a number of solo recon operations and I know what to look for, how to gather critical data in a swift, effective way. I don't need any assistance."
"Isn't Kesna near Coruscant?" she turned back to her uncle.
Luke nodded. "Yes, Kesna is near the Sesswenna Sector. We haven't had a scout there in six months and it's important that we find out if the Yuuzhan Vong are there, or have been there."
"So, you're sending one flyer in to do the recon? That's ridiculous! What if the Vong are there? You have no idea what to expect." She turned back to me, folding her arms across her chest. "And just how are going to survey an entire sector in three days?"
Have I mentioned how pretty she is when she's angry?
"Colonel Fel and Wedge have come to a mutual agreement regarding this assignment. If you want the particulars, you'll need to discuss them with the colonel, here, or talk to Wedge."
"I'm going with you."
This was not what I wanted. What was she trying to prove? I tried to keep my expression impassive. This was the most stubborn woman I've ever met. Must be Solo genes.
"No, you are not."
"Yes, I am. The Rogues always travel with a few recon X-Wings. I'll take one of those."
"I don't need any assistance."
"Fine. I won't assist you then. I'll do my own scouting."
"That's ridiculous---"
"Isn't that what you're doing?"
Did I say stubborn? I think annoying is more appropriate.
"That's different--"
"How?"
"You have responsibilities to Twin Suns. You need to stay here."
"You have a responsibility to them as well---"
"You're the commanding officer---"
"Kyp can take over while I'm away---"
"---and your family needs you."
"What do you mean by that?"
Oh boy. I think I hit a nerve. And what am I doing anyway? Arguing with her about my mission? I better think carefully before I react. "Jaina, your family has suffered terrible losses. You've only been on Borleias for a few hours and now you want to leave again. Your immediate family is here; you need to spend time with them, to grieve---"
"Don't tell me what to do!"
If her words were poisonous, I'd be infected by now. I really made her angry. I never intended to do that.
Why am I here again?
"I am not telling you what to do. I am simply stating--"
She thrust a finger at me and I was suddenly very thankful that she was unarmed. "No! You're dictating and no one tells me how to run my life! Don't you dare try to tell me what I should think, what I should feel---Why are you looking at us like that?!"
I followed that queue and turned to Master Skywalker. He was looking at us in the strangest way. A combination of surprise and amusement. I don't believe he heard a single word we said.
Jaina leaned over and poked her uncle. "I'm sorry. Did you say something?"
"I asked why you were looking at us like that. That's the stupidest grin I've ever seen."
Surprisingly, Luke laughed. "I was listening to the two of you and I was reminded of when Han and Leia first met."
He what? What did he just say? That Jaina and I remind him of Leia Organa Solo and Han Solo? Surely we don't sound like that, do we? I was so stunned, I couldn't move. I couldn't think! I did happen to catch a glimpse of Jaina out of the corner of my eye and she looked just as shell-shocked as I imagine I did.
Did Master Skywalker really think that Jaina and I were going to be the next Leia and Han? Did he have one of those Jedi visions?
I need to get away from these Force-users. This stuff freaks me out.
I cleared my throat and turned to Jaina. She still looked mortified. ""I leave at oh-eight-hundred. Not a second later."
"I'll be here." she didn't meet me gaze. Probably because she suddenly found herself in the middle of my recon mission. Serves her right for arguing with me.
"Fine."
"Fine."
I bowed to Master Skywalker and took my leave, heading toward the barracks. I can't believe I let her do this to me! I allowed her to manipulate her way into coming along with me. Great. Just what I wanted.
Women.
I need a drink.