A/N: Welcome. This is a first installment of a series of not-connected AU fics centered on Tony Stark and Bruce Banner's friendship, inspired by the horrormoans' Challenge on Infinite Earths. The first chapter is a Harry Potter AU, but written by a person who did not read the books, so I apologize for any inaccuracies or something. (Also grammar and spelling. Sorry about those too)

I have a few chapters pre-written, so for some time updates are gonna be sorta regular.

Gonna Be Pals

It was first couple of minutes of peace and quiet Bruce Banner has got in the last few days. He was sitting in an unoccupied compartment of the train that will bring him to his new school, Hogwarts Castle, and trying desperately to distract himself by reading a book.

It was all just so huge for him. Sure, he has got his letter some time ago, but it was still sort of hard to wrap his head around the fact that magic existed. Add to it the fact that he had to leave Aunt Susan and the home he was only now starting to get used to, and…

"Hi there!" the door to the compartment opened with a sudden and sharp fwoosh that made Bruce literally jump in his seat. A dark haired boy Bruce's age with a pet cage and a silvery pack in his hand and a small backpack over his shoulder stepped through. His gaze quickly swept around the place and finally settled on Bruce. "So, it's not really empty, but I guess that'll do for now," he said, dropping both the backpack and the cage on one of the seats.

"I'm Antonius Stark, but you can totally call me Tony," he then added, reaching out with an open palm. When Bruce failed to react in the next few seconds, the boy chuckled and came even a step closer. "What's wrong with you? I don't bite." Bruce really doubted that last part, but was too afraid of inadvertently hurting Tony's feelings, and so he outstretched his hand for a brief handshake.

Tony smiled, releasing Bruce's hand, and fell – rather graciously – on the opposite seat, taking something from the silvery pack and popping it in his mouth in one fluid motion. "So, what's your name?"

"Bruce."

"What kind of name is that?" he asked with a light scoff. Bruce didn't like his tone. It reminded him too much of the boys from his school, both the first and the second ones. He hoped this new school would be different, but in retrospect it was a pretty silly assumption: there were bullies in all the schools in the world, and all of them considered Bruce fair game, which he probably was.

"I like it," was all he said. Not quite an exclamation, but a bit louder than his usual voice.

It only made Tony chuckle amiably again.

"Relax, I'm just joking. Bruce it is then. Bruce…"

"Bruce Banner."

"Banner? I don't quite remember… Are your folks from Edinburgh? There were Banners there, I think, hexers, right? I know almost everyone worth knowing, comes with being a Stark…" the boy rambled, his expression and voice confident, smug even.

"No, they're not from Scotland…"

"Yeah, right, you do sound more Irish I guess. There is… Lemont O'Banyon in Ireland, herbalist or whatever, some relation of yours?"

"No…"

"Good! I don't really remember, but I think that he's a jerk. Or maybe just Gryffindor, who knows." He then stopped, as abruptly as he began, and grinned at Bruce, looking like he was about to share a secret. "I'm gonna be a Slytherin, you know. Yep. Everyone in my family is."

"That's… great," Bruce said, hoping that it was the answer the other boy expected.

"What about you?" Tony asked immediately.

"What about me?"

"Who do you wanna be? Or who do you think you're gonna be? You kinda look like a Hufflepuff material. All… dorky and stuff."

Bruce was still not really sure what was going on (and why he was spoken to in the first place), so he gave out a noncommittal "umm" sound that Tony apparently chose to interpret as reluctance.

"Come on, spill. Hufflepuff isn't that bad," he encouraged, and then leaned forward, outstretching a hand with the silvery pack inside it, putting it almost under Bruce's nose. "Beans?"

Bruce started just a bit at the unexpected offer (as well as the intrusion of his personal space), but reached into the pack, fumbling with it awkwardly for a moment, and took out a single jelly bean. It tasted like blueberry.

"So?" Tony prompted.

"I… I'm sorry, but I really don't know what you are talking about," Bruce apologized, a weak smile on his lips.

"Houses, slowpoke!" Tony exclaimed in a slightly exasperated tone. "Haven't you really ever thought where you're gonna go?"

"No," Bruce shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "I think I will go wherever they tell me to." Whatever Tony was talking about, he was sure that it was actually the adults' decision, and he was not going to argue with the adults.

"That's lame," Tony grimaced, but did not press the matter. He popped a few more jelly beans into his mouth and turned to look out the window. He was silent for exactly a minute and forty-four seconds. "What are you reading?"

"Brief History of Time," Bruce replied dutifully, taking his eyes from the book he has only just resumed reading.

"Is it Cassandra Vablatsky?" came Tony's eager question. "You're into that whole divination stuff?"

"No, it's Stephen Hawking."

"Never heard of him. What's it about?"

"Well, time… and space. And stars, and black holes…"

"Never heard of those either."

Bruce was used to kids his age being easily bored with all the "science stuff" he was into, so he was just going to say something like "never mind" or "whatever", but Tony's face was nothing but open and full of sincere curiosity, and somehow Bruce found himself explaining.

"Oh, a black hole is… you know, if a star gets too big and too heavy, it sort of collapses in on itself, and turns into this tiny ball that has this huge pull that prevents everything, even light, from escaping it. That's why it is called 'black' hole…"

"Wow, that's some awesome magic!" the other boy exclaimed, his eyes wide in surprise.

"That's not magic," Bruce said incredulously, "it's physics."

Now it was Tony's turn to be incredulous. "What, you mean like the Muggle science?" he asked, squinting just a little, as if in disbelief. "That's a weird hobby to have. I mean, I'm okay with it if you're okay with it," he amended quickly, throwing his hands up in the air as a pre-emptive gesture of peace. Bruce briefly considered that, for a bully, the boy was incredibly… considerate.

"I like it," he shrugged.

"Well then that's great! You're gonna tell me all about it later," Tony smiled, and then went on, his voice serious and excited at the same time. "We're so gonna be pals. That's it, that's my executive decision for you. I mean, you're obviously not a Slytherin, but I can compromise. I'm not a total jerk, thank you very much," he said, as if defending himself from some invisible accusers.

"I don't think you are," Bruce replied quietly. Tony wanted to be his friend. Wow. They knew each other for, like, ten minutes or something, and Tony offered him jelly beans, and listened to his science talk, and said that they were going to be friends, even though Bruce wasn't a "slytherin", whatever that was. That was real magic.

"That's right!" Tony laughed, looking a little surprised himself. "I knew you were cool, even if you're into that whole Muggle nonsense." He chuckled once again, then sort of jumped in his seat and picked up the expensive looking cage from it, bringing it a little closer to Bruce's eyes. In there was a huge black rat that tried clumsily to fit its pointed muzzle between the bars. "See this?" Tony asked. "It's Dummy. I called him that 'cause he's really dense, even for a rat. He can be pretty fun though. Where's your pet?" he craned his neck this way and that, looking around the compartment.

"I don't have any," Bruce confessed, feeling suddenly very awkward about it. "I'm… not really good with… pets."

"Bummer," Tony pursed his lips for a second and put the cage back down on the seat next to him. "But I think you'll change your mind. Pets are cool. I'm totally gonna learn to conjure some weird ones later on. Even if there's no such spell, I'm gonna invent one, 'cause that's what we Starks do. Enchantment industry, we invent magic," he said with an incredibly smug smirk.

"That sounds very interesting," Bruce agreed.

"That's awesome, Bruce, that's the best thing a wizard can do, and no-one except us is doing it. Well, you're gonna be doing it too," the boy corrected, "'cause we're totally doing it together, you know? Your folks are gonna be hella proud," he added with the tone of importance.

Bruce shifted in his seat again, hiding his eyes. "I… don't think so."

"Why's that?"

Bruce opened his mouth to speak, and then closed it when nothing came out. He squirmed, his throat tight, eyes blinking rapidly, looking anywhere but on Tony. He needed to tell the truth, if only to prevent the boy from ever bringing that up again, if only to protect himself from future pain and embarrassment.

"I…" he started in a weak, strangled voice, and had to swallow and start again. "My parents are, they're… my…"

He hated himself for it. He was a big boy, he was eleven, for crying out loud, and Aunt Susan said he was the smartest boy in their whole school, and it happened three years ago, why can't he just…

"Oh," Tony said suddenly, his face somber, and his voice uncharacteristically quiet. Bruce did not dare to lift his eyes on him though, afraid that seeing pity, or even sympathy on someone will actually make him cry. "I'm sorry, man. That's why you're… a little out of it? I mean, with the Houses and stuff… they didn't get to tell you much, huh?"

"No, they… knew nothing about it," Bruce frowned, surprised and relieved that the conversation took such a turn. A few more minutes, and the lump in his throat will disappear completely. "And I knew nothing about it. There was a letter at my windowsill on my birthday, and then this lady showed up and told me I was a wizard and…"

The expression on Tony's face turned weird.

"You're a Muggle-born?" the boy asked in a pointed, careful manner.

"Well, yeah, I mean, my parents were normal people, and my aunt is normal too and…" Tony didn't look like his exuberant, ramble-y, sincere self anymore, but instead so confused and vaguely… something, and it scared Bruce all of a sudden. Did he screw it all up? "Is that a bad thing?" he inquired timidly.

"N-no," Tony smiled slowly, crookedly, and it looked more strained than his previous smiles. "No, it's… You're my pal, right? I'm Tony Stark, and all my pals are top quality," he chuckled awkwardly, confusion still lingering in his features. "So, you're… good."

"Good," Bruce smiled in return, happy that he didn't screw this after all.

"Good," Tony repeated. He remained silent for a few moments after this, but it wasn't even a full minute before Bruce heard the rustling of a foil paper and saw the small silvery pack almost under his nose. "Beans?"

"Thanks."

The rest of the ride was spent in friendly banter, and Bruce talking about black holes and the Big Bang, and Tony talking about Slytherins and enchantments and a thing called "the Sorting Hat". There were so many things about the magic world Bruce just didn't understand yet, and he didn't really know what will await him in this new school, but he was sure of one thing.

It was a good beginning.

A/N: a little background on the world: Tony is an almost typical Slytherin here, an heir to the wealthy and proud family, meaning that straight from the crib he was pumped full of the House pride bullshit and a set of those ridiculous prejudices against Muggles and mudbloods and whatnot. But, at the same time, he's got himself an extreme case of Lonely Rich Kid, and is desperate for a friendship outside of the circle of the typical stuck up Slytherin assholes. And yeah, Bruce is totally gonna be a kickass Ravenclaw.

I hope you enjoyed it! Please, leave a comment if you have time.

Next time in Kaleidoscope: Zombies!