I checked, it seems I only have 5 incomplete fics up. 4 if you don't count Asylum. One is getting completed, so I figured it'd be okay to post this one XD I hope you all like it, I know I really do ;p I especially like the first chapter =D I don't know why... the twins just tickle me ;p Anyway, I really have to work on my books today. I might focus on one of them, not sure which. I really appreciate all your guys' help with Asylum and I love all your reveiws. I'm sorry I haven't been answering them all, but a lot of the time there are just too many. I would spend my whole day answering them all... especially with how often I update my fics ^^;

Shiro: I like this fic!

Ichi: ... I refuse to read it simply for that fact! DX

Grimm: I don't know... I kind of enjoy it ;p

Ichi: That doesn't make it better! DX

Grimm: Fine, you sit here and suffer through all the surprises the readers do. Shiro and I, however, already know what's going on! XD

Ichi: ... *quickly grabs the laptop to read it*

Shiro: Yer pretty damn good at manipulatin' 'im. 00

Grimm: I take pride in being a fast learner! =3

Chapter 1

Ichigo Kurosaki is fuming. There's no other word for it, he's literally pissed to the point he wants to strangle his older twin. As a matter of fact, Shiro still sports the markings of the phone cord. Luckily, Ichigo loves him enough he'd never actually murder him… yet. The orange head is a writer, he specializes in murder mystery novels, and he's fighting to make his deadline. Shiro didn't care; he thought his precious little brother was working himself too hard. It's not Ichigo's fault he likes finishing up a few weeks early, he's more apt to edit on his own. His older twin never really listens, he's more worried about what Ichigo needs rather than what he wants. That's how Ichigo found himself drugged and tossed into Shiro's car. He woke on the way to the train station, one of those fancy trains with barely any stops. It's owned by a resort in the mountains, the only way to reach it aside from a helicopter.

"I can't believe you slipped that sedative into my pop!" Ichigo hisses bitterly.

"I can't believe ya didn' 'xpect it by now," Shiro snorts derisively. "How many times have I done that in the last three months?"

"You son of a bitch!"

"Oi! That bitch is yer ma, too, so shut the fuck up!"

"I told you I have a deadline to meet! I don't have time for your stupid little vacations!" Ichigo shouts in irritation.

"Too bad!"

The younger copy huffs and sinks down to slouch in his seat, glowering out the window as the train station comes nearer. Ichigo doesn't really know much about this vacation, just that they'll be taking a train for almost a week to some remote resort that must cost a mint. Shiro and Gin thought up the vacation, eager to spend more time together and get Ichigo to bond with Shiro's spastic and insane friends. Ichigo, for one, would rather stay miles away from them. He's a beautiful male, lithely muscled and tan skinned. His amber eyes are sharp while also holding a lot of innocence, his spikey orange locks longer than usual from a lack of trims… Ichigo's been so wrapped up in his new novel; he hasn't taken the time to cut the shaggy strands. All in all, the many lecherous glances he has to endure from Shiro's many male pals are unnerving. If anything, they make for great inspiration when thinking up the villain of his novels.

"I don't know why you can't just let me be!" he complains. "Your friends are psychotic and you know I don't like being around them!"

"An' yer past releationships er any better?" Shiro scoffs. "My friends er fuckin' royalty compared ta the scum ya've been lettin' bang ya."

"Who I sleep with is none of your damn business!"

"'Cause ya know I'm right."

Before Ichigo can continue his rant, Shiro slams on the breaks. The orange head is saved from going through the windshield by his seatbelt, the younger twin once more berating himself for allowing Shiro to drive… not that he had much choice at the time.

"You fucking crazy driver!" he snaps. "Are you trying to kill me?"

"'Course not, dumbass," Shiro waves off. "I'm tryin' ta park the fuckin' car. Ain't my fault these damn spaces ain't bigger."

Ichigo closes his eyes, his fist trembling with the need to strike the other. After a few deep breathes he decides getting out of the car would be a good start, slamming the door behind him and glaring at his twin. Shiro is already waving down his silver haired lover, jumping up and down like a hyper child at the sight of Gin. Ichigo makes a gagging motion as they practically hump each other in the parking lot. Gin casts his icy blue eyes on Ichigo, the youth glad they're normally closed in foxish arcs unless he's beyond pissed… and it's extremely difficult to get him to that point.

"Hey, Gin," Ichigo sighs out.

"Well, if it ain't my favorite future brother-in-law!" the man says teasingly. "Are ya glad ta be goin' on our trip?"

"… I'm three days from my personal deadline on my next novel, Shiro doesn't know how to take 'no' as an answer, and he fucking drugged me to get me this far! NO! I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT GOING ON VACATION!"

Gin's perpetual smile falls into an almost mocking frown, yet returns quickly after Ichigo's mini breakdown. He pats the orange haired male on the shoulder, drawing him close so he can drape an arm around each twin.

"Great!" he smiles widely. "I'm excited, too! An' what better way ta start a vacation than bein' sandwiched between two sexy twins?"

Ichigo rolls his eyes, knowing a verbal spat with Gin won't go much further than one with Shiro. He's half led, half dragged to the group waiting at the station. Ichigo's worst nightmare is unfolding before him and he's powerless to stop it. Before him is Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, the sexist and most temperamental asshole in the world. Nnoitra Gilga, a lecherous jerk that thinks more with his dick than his brain. Ulquiorra Cifer, soft spoken and emotionless even to those he dates. Szayel Apporo Grantz, calculating yet flamboyant enough to give Ichigo a headache in 0.1 seconds. Stark Coyote, gentleman on the outside and sly player on the inside. Nelliel Tu Odelschwanck, hyperactive and far too jovial for Ichigo's tastes. And Tia Hallibel, quiet and observant to the point Ichigo is nervous around her.

"Great," Ichigo sighs. "The gangs all here."

"I know! Ain't it great?" Shiro grins widely. "Gin an' I planned everythin'! This is gonna be the best trip ever!"

"If you say so," Ichigo mutters. "I hope you at least packed my laptop."

"I ain't that mean," Shiro frowns. "'Course I packed yer stupid laptop."

Ichigo sighs in relief, praying that 'packed' means 'placed in your bags' and not just 'put away at home'. Living with Shiro all his life has taught Ichigo that Shiro doesn't mean exactly what he says, so Ichigo had to ferret out the other's language. Now he wishes he just ignored the other growing up.

"Hey, the sexy bunny's here!" Nnoitra grins. "Let the chase begin!"

"Don't even think it, Nnoi!" Nelliel growls. "You're my boyfriend and if I find out you're cheating on me; Hell itself won't save you from my wrath!"

The lanky raven haired male shivers at the comment, tightening the handkerchief he uses to cover his damaged eye. Nnoitra lost that eye in a scuffle while serving a juvenile sentence for breaking and entering. Shiro has never really attracted attention from upstanding people, the snowy haired man appreciating the darker side of the world. Each of his pals is known from something slightly illegal. Most of them for breaking and entering, some for drunken misconduct, maybe a couple for taking pleasure in prostitutes… Ichigo hates them all. Well… hate is a strong word. It's more like, they all make his stomach turn. To think that the majority of these people have attempted to coax him into their bed just makes him sick, he doesn't know where they've been or who they last slept with… or what they happen to be carrying.

"Time ta board!" Gin smiles. "Everyone got their bags?"

"Where's our precious sex bunny's bags?" Grimmjow teases.

"I got 'em!" Shiro calls. "I had ta pack fer im… 'cause I drugged 'im 'fore I packed. He was less than cooperative fer me."

"Sounds like our bunny."

"Stop calling me that, pussy cat!" Ichigo snaps. "You know I don't like it!"

"Duh. Why do you think I call you that?" Grimmjow snorts derisively. "Here, give me those. You're taking too long and we've already gotten our stuff in the baggage car."

Shiro gladly hands over the bags, turning his attention to his little brother. He knows Ichigo well, the minute he turns his back Ichigo will try to slip away. Not this time. He and Gin hold tightly as they board the lavish train's coach car, looking for their rooms as Ichigo fights their grip. Hallibel and Stark are in room one, Nelliel and Nnoitra in two, and Ulquiorra is sharing with Szayel in room three. Gin tosses his smaller bags in the sixth room, Ichigo staring at Shiro incredulously as he's pushed into the fifth room.

"This is yer room," Shiro smiles. "Don' worry, ya'll love this vacation. I promise! Ya just need ta take some time ta relax an' shit. It'll be good fer ya."

"… Alright, Shiro," Ichigo sighs out. "I'm going to take a nap. Do you want the top or bottom bunk?"

"Uh… ya can take the bottom," Shiro says after a moment's hesitation.

Ichigo nods and moves into his room. It's small, with a tiny closet for shoes and another door that leads to the bathroom. There's a wrought iron rack for any bags carried with the traveler, a small table beside the bed and beneath the only window, and a bunk bed with a ladder chained to the ceiling. Ichigo opens the door to the washroom, grinning widely at the sight. Running water! A marble sink with a toilet to one side and even a shower!

"Maybe this train ride won't be as bad as I thought," he murmurs.

He stretches and sits on the bottom bunk, slipping off his shoes and curling up beneath the blanket. It isn't long before Ichigo falls asleep, thoughts on his book twisting themselves into an interesting dream.

Shiro is sitting with Gin in the restaurant car when Ichigo joins them for lunch, everyone laughing and chatting while they wait for their meals. This resort place really doesn't spare any expense, providing those upon their train with five star meals and such. Almost like a luxury cruise, but on land instead of water. It has Ichigo's mind growing more active with thoughts on where to take his novel. He sits down by himself, Shiro and Gin gazing upon him from the table diagonal his own.

"Did ya sleep well?" Shiro wonders.

"Yes, I did actually," the orange head smiles. "Maybe this trip was a good idea after all; my mind is drawing in so much inspiration and it hasn't even been that long since we left."

"Just fifteen minutes," Gin says.

"I'll get right on my novel once I finish lunch."

Shiro rolls his eyes at the comment, yet says nothing more. He returns to Gin, the silver haired man glancing toward the body at a table further back. They stand and move toward Ichigo, sitting at the empty seat across from him. Ichigo is too busy scribbling on a napkin to notice his company, eager to write down his ideas before they take flight and he loses them. Once he does look up, he's shocked to see Grimmjow leaning back and watching him.

"Uh… can I help you?" he wonders.

"I just thought you might like some company for lunch," the blue haired man shrugs. "You look so lonely over here all by yourself."

"… Who were you sitting with?" the younger male smirks.

"Szayel."

"You can stay," Ichigo chuckles.

Relief visibly fills the other man, his body leaning forward now to rest his elbows on the table. Ichigo is a bit unnerved with Grimmjow near him; however he's trying to be cordial for Shiro's sake. If anything, Grimmjow is the worst of Shiro's friends. He's constantly flirting, groping, and attempting to coax Ichigo to blow him off or something. As much as Ichigo is attracted to that Greek statue of a body, the thought of Grimmjow using him hurts the orange head more than any pain he can think of. The blue haired nympho is one of those that frequently partook in flings, something Ichigo is determined not to be. The other opens his mouth to say something, yet Ichigo beats him to it.

"If you say one thing that insinuates anything sexual between us, you can go sit with Szayel again," he hisses quietly.

Grimmjow's mouth snaps shut, cyan orbs wide in surprise before his features twist into a feral grin. That grin is lethal; it melts Ichigo's resolve every time he sees it. He pointedly ignores it right now, determined not to allow Grimmjow to begin his lecherous teasing.

"What are you doing?" he wonders.

"Just jotting down notes."

"For what?"

"I'm in the middle of my novel," Ichigo comments. "I just had some great ideas and I didn't want to lose them, so I'm writing them down."

Grimmjow takes the napkin from Ichigo, reading over the many scribbles and raising a brow in interest. After a moment, he hands it back to Ichigo and glances over the orange head's shoulder. A waiter roams down the hall, carrying a tray of covered platters. One is set before each of them and they begin to eat their lunch.

"Shiro and Gin… they forced you to come, didn't they?"

"Like always," Ichigo sighs.

"I'm glad you came," Grimmjow smirks. "It's always fun to tease you. Besides, you're more fun than the others… they tend to double up and I'm left by myself. Not that that's a bad thing with this company."

Ichigo chuckles at the admittance; surprised the other could say so much without letting something sexual slip. The rest of their lunch is relatively nice, the conversation light and friendly. Ichigo can feel warmth growing within his chest at such an interaction, yet somewhere in the back of his mind… he keeps reminding himself of all of Grimmjow's triumphs.

Ichigo returns to his room after lunch to gather his computer. He plans on sitting in the salon car until dinnertime, working on his novel in quiet. Unfortunately, things just never go the way he plans. First off, he can't reach the wrought iron shelf. It's sort of half a cylinder, the edge curled upward to keep bags and suitcases from falling during the train's movement, and Ichigo just can't seem to work his computer bag out. Someone reaches over him, easily pulling his bag from the shelf and handing it to him. Ichigo turns in shock, eyes lying upon a hard chest covered by a tight shirt.

"Grimmjow? What are you doing?"

"Getting my bag so I can brush my teeth," he answers.

"… In here?"

"Yeah. Last time I checked, this is my room."

Ichigo just stares at the man, Grimmjow going about his earlier task. The orange head waits until his companion is in the washroom to freak out, pulling on his vibrant hair in frustration. Of course Shiro would pair his baby twin with the one person he can't stand… he must be praying Ichigo gets laid before this trip is over. Come to think of it, it has been a while.

Oh no! Shiro is working against Ichigo at every turn! DX Lmao, which means he's on our side! XD How cool is that? Then again... he's usually on our side ;p So that's the first chapter! I hope you all liked it and are eager for more! I actually got the idea to write this when I was playing a computer game! It's called 'Agatha Christie's Murder on the Orient'. It's an awesome game =D For those of you that like murder mysteries where you get to be the detective, I highly recommend the Agatha Christie games. I got mine at Staples for like $10. Anyway, it's been a while editing... I also had to vacuum, do litter, and clean the bunny cage in between... so I better start writing. Then again, I might as well work on a fanfic now. I can't write when the TV is on and mom is home, so it's on ^^; She's sick though, so it's okay to let her watch what she wants ;p

Ichi: 00

Shiro: *pokes Ichigo in forehead* Ichi? Are ya broken?

Ichi: ... You kidnapped me.

Shiro: I know! I'm so sneaky ;p

Grimm: Not really, he's just guillible and trusting. ;p

Ichi: ... You fucking kidnapped me! *scowls angrily*

Shiro: We already been through this! =(

Grimm: Calm down, Ichi, I'm sure the story gets better for you! =D

Ichi: I'm not talking to you two anymore. *storms off*

Vae: Don't worry, he'll cool off by tomorrow's update! XD