For the finals of Fire The Canon's April Fanfiction Tournament Competitions, using the prompt: Half-Blood Prince.

Also my first of two drabbles for Round 2 of dimitrisgirl18's Big/Lil' Sister Competition, using the prompts: Word: friends, Phrase: forgive me, Color: green.

Word count: 643

They hadn't parted on good terms. She hadn't spoken to him since the night of the Mudblood incident, and he had never tried to repair the hole he had torn in their friendship.

"I thought we were supposed to be friends? Best friends?" His own words echoed in his mind as Severus shook his head slightly. He hadn't deserved Lily. Not even as a friend, let alone as more than that. Although he may have thought that they were "best friends," Severus should have realised long ago that Lily was going to discover for herself how terrible he was.

He had just sped that process up a bit. In his heart, in the tiniest, most secluded part of his mind, Severus had always had hope for them. Hope that he would gather the courage to apologise and that Lily would smile and they could go back to how they were before. But it was too late now, he knew that.

She's dead, he told himself firmly, and any hope he once had for them was gone. Like that. The casket was open, and his chest ached as he looked inside. No one had closed her eyes, and red lashes still framed the emerald orbs. She should have looked exactly the same as she always did. Yet something about her was different. Those eyes, eyes that had been sparkling green and full of life, the eyes he had fallen in love with when he was just nine years old, were now, there was no other word for it, dead. Empty. And it made him shiver just to see this woman who had once been so full of life lying dead in her new bed of stone where she would spend all eternity.

The funeral service wasn't due to start for another ten minutes. People were slowly arriving, offering their condolences to James and her close relatives, and Severus took the time to kneel beside the coffin while everyone's attention was off of him. He had heard news of Lily's death from Dumbledore, and he wanted to say goodbye before the actual funeral occurred. He feared he wouldn't be very welcome at the service.

"Please forgive me, Lily," he whispered, tears welling up in his black eyes, "I never meant to insult you. All I ever wanted was for- for you-" He bit back the words to be happy, because, if he were being completely honest with himself, that wasn't true. "I just wanted for you to love me as much as I love you," he choked out, a sob escaping him. "Because I always did love you, no matter whom I sided with or what I said to you. I know that it's... it's too late now, but please, just forgive me for that day. You don't have to forgive me, just forgive what I said. Because no matter what you thought, it was truly just a mistake. I was angry and- I love you, Lily!" he shouted, his voice bursting out as tears began streaming down his face. "I wanted you to know that before you died. But I'm a coward. I couldn't tell you this until it was too late. So please, just know that I love you, and..." He broke off as the tears continued to slide down his pale face. For a few minutes, he didn't speak. Then finally, he pressed a hand to her cheek, and pressed his lips to her forehead.

"No matter what, Lily, I'll always love you." Pulling out his wand, Severus paused, drinking in every detail of her face, trying to forget for just a moment that she was dead. After a moment, a silver doe galloped out of his wand. It nuzzled Lily's face gently, and then galloped into the distance.

"Come back to me someday," Severus whispered after the doe.

She never did.