Letters Of Black

By: Atsureki

Disclaimers : Wieß ain't mine, but you already knew that right?

Warnings : AU, Yaoi, OCC, angst, last chapter ppl.

Notes : Stuff written in Italic are thoughts, letters or rhymes.

Chapter 22. Rainbows

It was like a bad dream, a twisted fantasy that refused to stop. Sirens howled through his head, people rushed back and forth. He watched but didn't really understand any of it. The only things he could grasp was the blood that had drenched his shirt, the pain, his own distant scream that still echoed inside his head.

Hands touched him and tried to pull him away from his spot on the floor but he refused to move. As long as he didn't blink, didn't think, he could pretend that nothing had happened, that…

He shook his head and kept his eyes on the same place. There was no way he was going there! But his mind could only hide reality from him for so long. He struggled but it was slowly coming to him anyway.

"Ken, please you have to get up." He ignored the soft voice and stubbornly stared at the floor where… where… A shudder went through the brunette. "Hidaka! On your feet!" The soft voice had turned hard and demanding now but he still refused to move. Someone kneeled beside him and a strong arm was wrapped around his shoulders. He knew who it was but his brain wasn't clear enough to process it. "Baby it wasn't your fault."

Brown eyes finally blinked. Baby? Slowly he turned his head to the left and looked into his lover's concerned eyes.

"Ran," he mumbled and slumped against the taller frame. Arms held him close as sobs wrecked through him. "He's dead." Ran pulled him into his lap and rocked him.

"I'm so sorry Ken, so sorry." The brunette hid his face and cried harder. He could see the drama that had played out before his eyes in his head, feel it in his body. Omi had pulled him out of the way just as Ben fired his gun, a split second before Ran did the same.

The first bulled that had been released had hit Omi in the chest, the second one had buried itself in Ben's head. Their bodies had hit the floor almost at the same time. But now, almost two hours later, there was just one body on the floor, only one puddle of crimson blood.

Omi was gone, as far as the cops knew he had never even been there to begin with, there was nothing left to indicate that there even had been a fourth person. Hell the little blonde didn't even exist for anyone except Ken and Ran. But Ben was still there, lying only a few feet away, his head blown to bits. The brunette shuddered and felt his stomach heave.

"I… I wanna go home," the brunette whimpered weakly and clutched his lover's coat. Ran rose and picked up Ken. A soft kiss was pressed to his temple as the redhead carried him towards the exit.

"You have to go to the hospital first," Ran whispered and stopped beside the ambulance. Ken didn't object, he was too tired and in too much pain. A part of his brain told him to walk by himself but he didn't have the energy nor the will-power. Instead he just hung limply in Ran's arms not even wondering how the redhead could carry him so effortlessly. Unfamilier hands took him away from his lover and placed him on a stretcher.

"No! Ran?!"

"Sch baby I'm right here. I'm going with you," Ran comforted him and climbed into the ambulance. Pale fingers caressed his forehead and hair and he relaxed.

"Just don't leave me," Ken begged and turned his head to look at his lover. A small smile broke the bland mask covering the redhead's face.

"I love you Ken, I'm not going anywhere, I promise." That was all he needed to hear, all he wanted to hear. Satisfied with the promise he closed his eyes and gave into the exhaustion.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ran sat down beside his client, friend, lover, his everything and sighed deeply. It was finally over, almost. Ben was dead and he didn't want him to be. The tall handsome Italian should have been alive too but in the moment of truth Ran had chosen between the man he loved and his enemy and there had been no other option. It wasn't that he regretted his actions really, it was more like he wished that the outcome could have been different.

Ben wasn't to blame for the mess, the illness he had suffered from was. The redhead shook his head. He had never wanted Ben to die but 'Akira', the evil side, the other man who had 'lived' in Ben's body all those years, the one who had murdered two men, maybe three, was another story. Ran pushed away those thoughts.

Omi had been alive when two 'Cleaners' had picked him up. He had never thought he would have to call them again but he had had no other choice. If they cops had found Omi there all hell would have broken loose. Now he could only hope that the small blonde was still alive.

He sighed and rubbed his tired face. Where were their lives going now? Yoji was badly hurt, Ken was too and Omi might or might not even be alive. Ran leaned back on the chair and kept his amethyst gaze on his lover's face. The brunette had lost so much in his life, been through so much pain.

His first lover had crushed him emotionally, destroyed his career, his relationship with his family and tried to kill him twice. Sure Ken had been cleared from the accusations regarding his career but inside he was still damaged by it. Lovingly the redhead caressed the mop of brown hair.

Ran would do whatever it took to help his lover but he didn't know what he really could do to ease his pain. Ken had loved Ben, they had been friends for so long and now the tall Italian was dead. It didn't take a lot for Ran to understand that the brunette blamed himself for that part. He had seen the look in those brown eyes, the guilt.

"Ran?" The redhead shook his head slightly to push away his thoughts and smiled.

"I'm right here koi," he murmured and leaned forward. Ken opened his eyes and looked at him.

"H… how's Omi?"

"I don't know yet. I'm gonna call the doctor but I wanted to be here when you woke up," Ran answered softly and kissed the brunette's temple.

"Thanks. Hospitals freak me out," Ken muttered but a small smile played on his lips and it was only flawed by the flicker of guilt in his eyes.

"You and me both baby."

"What's with the baby-stuff?" The redhead raised an eyebrow and chuckled quietly.

"Um I'm not sure actually. I have never called anyone that in my life but I just… It feels right to call you that." Ken nodded.

"I like it just don't start calling me sugerpie or sweetcake." A deep soft laugh rose from Ran's throat.

"You have my word Ken."

"Um Ran…" The redhead looked at his lover and saw the shadow growing darker in his brown orbs.

"Aa."

"Could you hold me?" Ken asked quietly with pleading. Ran didn't answer he just pulled the slightly shorter man into his arms and cradled him with all the love he had in him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Ken had his head lowered and his body was trembling slightly but the warm hand on his lower back gave him so much comfort. Ran hadn't left his side since the comotion at the warehouse and he was thankful for it.

"Abyssinian never thought I'd say I was glad to see you!" The elderly man approached them with a scowl on his face. "If I never see that damn blonde again it'll be too soon!" Ken couldn't help but smile a little at the Doctor's words. Yoji had been driving him nuts, something the lanky man was very good at.

"I'll do my best to keep Balinese out of your sight from now on," Ran promised with a a shred of amusement in his deep voice.

"Great, now let's get him out of here before I strangle him." They headed for the room where they would find Yoji. The tall blonde had been weakened from losing so much blood but that had only kept him quiet for so long. At first he had been very subdued due to the news about his chest.

The cuts wouldn't have left any big scars but Ben's illness had pushed him into being so much crueler than just cutting the blonde, he had also rubbed ink into the wounds. No matter how much the Doctor had worked on it Yoji still had a vague tatoo on his chest, a constant reminder of his run-in with Ben.

But the flirty blonde had bounced back pretty quickly. He had several scars from when he had worked for Takatori and he wore them all with pride. This was different but he chose to face it with the same emotion.

"I thought you had abandoned me!" Yoji muttered when they came up to him. "I'm going insane here. This old fool won't even allow me to smoke." Ran rolled his eyes at the whining but said nothing. Ken knew that his lover was utterly relived that his friend had made it. "Let's blow this joint Ran!"

"I'd carry you outside myself if I could!" the Doctor muttered but his eyes twinkled.

"Ah deep down inside you just know you'll cry once I'm gone," Yoji chuckled and carefully got to his feet. "I'm dying for a smoke, a drink and cute girl."

"Kudou you can't drink you're still on meds," Ran informed him and the blonde huffed.

"Well God damnit! You're never going to let me have any fun ever again, are you?" The redhead smirked in respons.

"Not if I can help it," he replyed smugly.

"And I'll help him spoil your fun Yotan," a soft voice said from behind them. They all turned around to face Omi.

"Omi-kun!" Ken exclaimed and hurried up to his friend. The petit blonde was seated in a wheel-chair, he was pale and thin but he was smiling broadly.

"Good to see you again Ken-kun."

"How are you doing?"

"Tired, sore, weak and in a lot of pain still, but I'm not complaining," Omi smiled and hugged his friend. "Although I will get more rest now when I don't have to listen to Yotan's whining all the time."

"Nobody loves me," Yoji pouted and made some sobbing sounds for the extra effect.

"Get him out of here!"

"Yeah yeah old man don't have a cow, I'm leaving," the tall blonde huffed and headed over to the door. He stopped beside Omi and carefully hugged him. "You hurry up and get well, I want you back in your own room bishounen," he murmured softly and kissed the small man on the top of his head. His green eyes that usually shone with playfullness were bright with care and love.

"I will Yotan," Omi said quietly and smiled at his friend. "And you take care of yourself until I get back home, okay?"

Ken had wondered about the two blondes and what kind of relationship they had until he finally asked Ran. The redhead had given him an amused look and told him that he had no idea what was going on there. It was plain as day that those two loved each other the only question was what kind of love it was. Ken had simply decided that it was none of his business.

"I will chibi, or at least I'll try," Yoji answered and turned to face the Doctor. "When will I have him back?"

"In a few days, a week at the most."

"Good, good." The lanky man kissed his friend's head one more time before he walked out the door.

"Call me when I can pick him up," Ran said to the old man, gently ruffled Omi's hair and followed Yoji..

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The sun was shining even though it was raining. Ran watched his lover with caring eyes but didn't follow him. He knew that Ken needed to do this alone. The brunette sank to his knees in the wet grass and lowered his head. For a long time he stayed like that before he finally raised his eyes to look at the stone he was facing.

"Hey there Ben," he said softly and sighed. "I'm sorry it had to end like this… A part of me will always feel guitly about what happened. You did so much for me, gave so much without ever getting anything in return. I know you were sick and that it wasn't your fault that you hurt me, us. Hopefully you're in a better place now." Ran swallowed. It had taken a lot of time to convince Ken to at least let go of most of the guilt.

"I'm back on the team again Ben. I love soccer but it's not the same without you old friend. Our new manager is a good guy and he allowed me to play my first match in a long time two days ago. Wish you could have been there. You know, this sounds really weird but... a part of me is actually thankful that you went after me. If you hadn't I would never have met Ran and I don't even want to think about what that would be like. I love him so much Ben, more than I thought I could."

The redhead blinked when he heard that. Ken was right though. If Ben never had started stalking Ken they would never have met and just like the brunette Ran didn't even want to think about how life would be in that case.

"I'm gonna go now but I'll visit you again, okay? Love you old friend." The brunette gently touched the grey stone and rose to his feet.

"You okay baby?"

"Yeah." Ken walked up to his lover and hugged him. "Let's go home." Ran wrapped an arm around the brunette when they left the grave. They walked close together, leaning into each other. No one who saw them would miss the connection between the two men, the love they shared.

Behind them the sun and rain created a rainbow that swept across the sky. Ran glanced over his shoulder and saw it. That rainbow was like a metaphor to him. Out of the cold and sometimes ugly rain something beautiful could come just like the mess Ben's insanity had lead to their love. But wasn't that what they said? That there's nothing bad without some good in it? Ran knew that to be true because otherwise he wouldn't have Ken. He smiled, pulled his lover closer and headed for the car.

~OWARI~

Ma, ma, it's over… It didn't end exactly the way I thought it would but hey at least it's over and done. *phew* This fic took much longer to wrap up than I thought it would when I started it. Oh well. Thanks to all you who stuck with it to the end and thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I hope you all liked it… Ja/Atsureki