Note: This is in Maura's perspective.

'Hey.' You say it first. You don't even know why… Because you still might care.

'Hey.' Jane's voice is rough, unsteady and with the look on her face, you can tell it's not how she wants it to sound. It's been so long.

You look at her, and you remember how she used to look. Her hair is shorter now. She walked towards you with a limp. You're able to see that she's trying her best to stand still. You also notice the scars for the first time. She has one on her left cheek and another one running from under her ear towards her collar bone.

'They told me you were dead.' You didn't mean for it to sound so macabre. But that's what they told you and she needs to know that. It's the only way she'll understand.

'I was.' Jane says with a sigh. 'I'm sorry.' She shifts her weight from one foot to the other and you can see the pain cross her face for a millisecond. She's trying to hide what she's feeling. She's always been the strongest one…

You give her a small smile after you remember what she just said, because she's actually apologizing for almost dying. 'No. No, don't be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry about. You didn't die, Jane. You're here. You didn't die.'

'Maura.' You love it when she says your name. You love it when she doesn't know what to say but your name. You lo-

'I waited,' and now you wait some more. You watch her breathe. You watch her take in what you just said. You try to read her expression but there's nothing. Maybe she didn't understand what you meant, so you elaborate, 'I waited for you.'

She looks at you, and you could swear that the corner of her mouth moved up for a slight second. You lov-

'I know.'

You're not surprised but you still want to know. 'How?'

'Tommy told me. He told me everything. You two must've gotten really close. It's like he knew exactly how you felt.'

'He told you everything?' You're not sure that you want her to know everything. So much has happened.

'Everything. Sometimes ignorance is really bliss.'

'Jane…' You love her.

'No, I'm happy you found someone. We didn't really part as friends, did we?' You don't say anything. 'I just want you to be happy, Maura.'

You don't know how to respond. You don't know how much Tommy has told her. You could easily tell someone what all 206 bones in a human body are, but now you don't know anything anymore. 'They wouldn't tell me what really happened to you.'

'I left. I died. I came back. There's nothing more, nothing I can remember to be honest. I didn't know who you were until I remembered you a couple of weeks ago. I saw you in the newspaper and then everything just started to gradually come back.'

'Jane.' You say with tears in your eyes, the tears you've been holding since the start of this conversation.

'I know,' she says as she puts her arms around you pulling you closer. Your arms go around her neck and you hug her tighter.

You missed her.

Weeks have passed since the conversation you had with Jane. She's doing better, not that she was bad before, but she's just better. You're back to being 'friends' with her. You share a laugh every now and then, you even have lunch or dinner together and she invites you to family dinners on Sunday.

Family dinners.

Her hair's growing. The curls are settling in like the way they used to be. She also isn't limping so obviously anymore. The scars are fading slightly but they're still there and you have to hold back tears every time you them. She has more scars than the ones you saw before. She has them all over her body. You saw them accidently a week ago when you walked in on her getting dressed.

'Scars don't tell the whole story.' She told you as she put on her shirt. You kept looking at her, taking in every one of them before they disappeared under her shirt.

'I know, but yours tell me enough.' You said with a sigh.

'Do you want to know?' She asked you as she turned her head so you could see her.

'The whole story?' There was a story behind all of this. You knew that there was a story but you weren't ready.

'Yeah, do you want to know?'

'No.' You're still not ready.

'Okay.'

'I don't want to know it right now. Not today and maybe not tomorrow, but one day. One day when we're both ready. Then I want you to tell me the whole story.'

'Okay. When we're ready. Soon.' She told you. You have to know. Everything will make sense when you know. Everything.

You still haven't asked her to tell you. You're not ready. You're not even sure if you ever will be ready.

You turn the television on and the news is on. You don't really pay attention because you have to go over the autopsy files again. It's the third time and you're sure you haven't missed anything but she insisted and you complied.

It's her first case since she rejoined the force. You thought she would just look for something else, something less dangerous, but this is what she wanted. Because this is what she is. She's a detective, always has been. And secretly this is what you want because you hadn't seen her in so long and now you see her every day.

When you're on the third page of the file, going over the injuries of the victim, you hear the voice of a reporter preceded with 'Breaking News'.

'This just in. Detective Jane Rizzoli from the Boston Police Department, who had been missing for 3 years, returned to Boston a couple of weeks ago alive and well. There are rumors going around about what happened in those 3 years but tonight we find out the truth. Stay tuned for the full story.'

The reporter was replaced with an ad block. You just sit there, the reports already fallen from your lap, scattered on the ground, and you can't move. You don't move, speak, and you're sure you haven't breathed in a while so you take a breath and try not to hyperventilate.

The news reporter is back and she starts telling you things you can't believe, things that can't be true. You see images and you hear facts. You weren't ready for this. Nothing could've prepared you for this.

You start crying because that's all you can do right now. The truth… The truth hurts too much.

She finds you on the floor, in front of your couch. You feel her fingers on your cheek and you let out another sob. She gathers you up in her arms as you're still crying, your head on her shoulder. You want it to stop. You want to forget.

"It's okay," she whispers. She doesn't let you go. She makes sure that she's there for you, like you were for her. She knows that you need her.

So you accept her. She kisses you on the forehead as she strokes your hair.

It's not okay. You know that it's not okay. But you need her right now so you don't speak. Seconds pass, minutes pass, an hour passes. Another hour and you're all out of tears. You just weren't ready to see what had happened to her.

You get up, untangling yourself from her arms and you silently walk towards the bathroom. You close the door behind you and look in the mirror. You don't remember yourself anymore. This isn't who you are. This isn't you.

You splash some water on your face and remove your make up, because you look like a mess. You've only been like this once. Once. And that's when she left. And now she's back and she's still making you feel this way.

'Maura?' You hear a knock on the door and you can see her face in front of you. She's worried. About what you might do in here. You take one more look in the mirror before you open the door. She's standing there, looking at you, and trying to read your face.

'I came here to check up on you. And to see if out of all the days you had to turn your TV on, it had to be today.' She explained. She didn't have to explain. She had seen enough. A random stranger explained everything.

'You lied to me.' You know that it's not fair. You know that she didn't lie but it felt like lying. You don't know anymore.

'No, I didn't lie. I just didn't tell you… yet.'

'And that's better than lying?' You have no idea why you're acting like this. This isn't how you wanted this conversation to go.

'I didn't say it was. Why are you so mad at me?' she almost yells at you.

You look at her, as you start trembling, remembering what you had just seen and heard, word for word, image after image. 'Because you didn't tell me that you got-'

But she interrupts you, 'I didn't tell you because you didn't want to know, remember? You said not now, or tomorrow. You said when we're ready and we weren't.'

Now you have to know that what you saw was real, 'Tell me now, then.'

'No.'

'Why?'

'I'm not telling you now. Not like this.' She looked at you like you were about to fall apart.

'Not like how?' You were losing your patience. You had a right. As her 'friend', you had a right to know.

'Not when you're about to break down! I can't watch you break down, Maur. I can't. I've been through enough shit and I need you to not break down when I tell you! So, not now.'

You look at her and you can see the pain. You know what she's been through but you still want to hear it from her. You want to know how much of it is actually true.

'Tomorrow?' you ask.

'Soon. I'll tell you soon.'

'Tomorrow.' You repeat because you need to know. It's killing you and it's probably killed parts of her too.

'Maybe.' She murmurs as she stares at you. She doesn't know what to do. When you were friends before she left, she would give you a hug or just leave and you'll see her again tomorrow. Now, after everything that has happened and after everything that hasn't, she doesn't know how to react.

'Are you going to leave, now?'

She looks at you, knowing that she can't lose you again. She won't lose you again. 'Do you want me to?'

'No.' It leaves your mouth before you can stop it. You're honest. You're too honest. Unraveling things you wanted to keep hidden, for now.

She moves towards you, your name rolling of her lips. 'Maura…'

You put up your hand, 'Just don't move.'

'Why?'

'Jane, just don't move for a minute.'

'Okay.' She mumbles and she involuntarily takes a step back. She's giving you space. 'Can I-'

'No. Okay, you won't tell me what happened after you left but what about just before you left. I needed you then. And you just left. Why?'

She looks at you like you just gave up your biggest secret. 'You never told me you needed me.'

'Did I have to?'

'Maybe. If I'd know you needed me this much, we could've had this sooner.'

'We could've had what sooner?' you ask her because you don't know. She takes a step forward, testing you, so you give her a small nod and she takes the remaining steps forward until she's standing inches apart from you. 'Jane.' She closes her eyes when you say her name. It has the same effect on her.

She cups your face with both hands and says 'This.' before her lips meets yours.

(…)

When you wake up the next day, she's nowhere to be seen. You don't see her clothes on the floor where you dropped them last night. She must've picked them up and left. You look at the clock next to you, it's only 8:30, and you drop yourself back on the bed. You understand why she might've left. Last night wasn't really something you both planned on doing but it did mean everything to you.

She let you in. And you're happy she did. You can feel the smile on your face becoming bigger but it suddenly disappears when you hear a loud sound coming from inside the house.

You quickly put your robe on while you walk towards your bedroom door and take the baseball bat that's placed next to your dresser and you slowly open the door.

You scan the kitchen en living room but you don't see anyone.

Bass. It's probably Bass. You turn around and before you take two steps, you hear her voice.

'Shit, Maura, did I wake you?' It's her. She's here.

You turn back around and you look at her, clothed in the wrinkled clothes she came here in last night.

'Jane…' You say her name, letting out the breath you didn't know you were holding.

'Did I wake you?' she asks you again as she walks towards you.

'No. I was already awake.' You answer and she's just staring at you, not knowing what to do. 'You didn't leave.' You close the distance between the two of you and you put your arms around her neck.

'Why would I leave?' she says as she pulls you closer, putting her arms around your waist.

When she starts pulling her arms away, you do the same and you just look her in the eyes. You're seeing her. Pieces of the old Jane in her eyes and you smile at her. She returns the smile before letting you go and walking towards the counter.

'I made you coffee.' She says as she takes the two cups from the counter and walks back to you.

'Instant?' you ask her, taking one of the cups.

'No, I'm pretty sure that this isn't instant coffee because it took me ten minutes to make.' She says with a laugh.

'Thank you.' You say before closing your eyes and taking a sip. A moan escapes your lips and when you open your eyes, you see her staring at you.

'You… Uhm…' she clears her throat, 'welcome. You're welcome.'

You got to her. Last night you got to her and now she's yours. She's finally yours.

'Jane, can I-'

'One.' She interrupts, 'you can ask me one question today.'

'One?'

'One.'

'Okay…' You don't know which one to ask. You don't know where to start because there's so much that you want to know. "What happened to you?" would get you the whole story but you're not ready to hear that yet. You don't even know who you are anymore because one moment you've prepared yourself for the worst to come and you want to know everything. The next moment you feel as if you're about to fall apart because it's just too much to handle.

You remember something. You remember the voice of the reporter as she stated one fact after another and one of the facts stands out.

'How many?' you ask her, but maybe you should elaborate.

But she knows. When she looks at you, she knows exactly what you're asking. 'How many innocent people have I killed?'

You nod and she holds eye contact.

'I don't know.' She murmurs.

You see the pain as she looks away from you. She doesn't know.

'Everything happened so fast and I didn't know how many people were inside.' She starts to explain but she can see that you don't want to know. She nods and she waits.

You've waited for a very long time, so you let her do the waiting this time. You know it's not fair but you just need to think. You need to find out how to respond to her answer.

'How do you live with that?' You know that it's your second question but she doesn't say anything.

'I don't.' She looks away from you. 'But I can't take back what I did.' She adds.

And you see the tears in her eyes and you put your and her coffee on the counter and you pull her in for another hug.

As much as you need to know what happened, she needs you more. So you're there for her. You'll always be there for her.

FIN

A/N: That's it. That's the end to my first Rizzoli & Isles fanfic. A review would be nice, and you can also ask me anything if something was unclear. (Any grammatical mistakes are also mine because this didn't get beta'd but I did read it seven times...)

But yes, this is the end. I don't do long stories because I never manage to finish them. But for this one shot I wrote the dialogue first and then polished it with some words. I'm not good at describing things, I never have been. I can't seem to get the words out to a scene that plays in my head. But I have no problem with dialogue apparently.

There's some backstory to this story that isn't written down because it's all in my head and I have no idea how to do it justice. So if you have any questions about that, ask away.

Thanks for reading!