Chapter 1

Fire. An incredible burning sensation. I admit, I wasn't the most innocent person on the planet. However, did I really deserve hell? I had gone to church every fucking Sunday! I even went to confession once before. Surely I didn't deserve this kind of punishment.

I tried thinking back to my death. Everything was fuzzy. It was hard to concentrate when you felt like your body was being licked by the flames of Satan. I remembered dark alleys. And I remembered a man. Someone I trusted. Someone that I THOUGHT I knew. And I remembered pain. I remembered begging for death. I remembered begging for someone to put me out of my misery. I didn't realize that my death would be worst than rape.

The burning started to disappear and I thanked God. He had finally answered my prayers. The flames were being doused. My fingers and toes were the first parts of my body that felt the relief. Then, my legs and arms were cooling. I wanted to cry from happiness, but I couldn't. I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. All I could do was silently thank God for taking the pain away.

As the flames died down, I could feel and hear my heart beating. Wouldn't you know? I'd be the only one in all of history to die, go to hell, and as I'm leaving hell, get a heart attack. My chest was tightening, painfully. It was like I traded the decreasing fire for chest pain. Anything was better than the fire.

The fire was nearly gone. My throat was still on fire, but it was better than having me entire body being licked by flames. My heart was beating furiously and rapidly. If I waited a bit longer, than the fire would be completely gone and all I would have to worry about would be my heart beating out of my chest.

Suddenly, my heart stopped. I couldn't hear it anymore and I couldn't feel it trying to find its way out of my rib cage. Was that supposed to happen? I figured that I was dead, and I wouldn't necessarily need my heart. The fire in my throat dulled and my eyes shot open. I was looking into the stars. I thought that heaven wasn't exactly what I expected. There were much less clouds and angels, and much more stars.

I saw a bird flying above. My eyesight focused and I could count the feathers on its body. I saw as it caught a smaller bird in mid-flight. I even heard the shriek of the smaller bird as it was flown away. I heard small footprints and looked to my left to see a tree. I saw an ant making its way up the tree trunk. The tree had to be at least 20 feet away.

"She's finally awake." My eyes snapped to the right and I saw three white people. It wasn't like I had never seen white people before. I just wasn't used to being around them. I wasn't really allowed in their neighborhoods. These weren't your everyday white people. I saw three extremely white people. They were all very good looking. So much so, that it kind of hurt to look at them. One of the men had short blonde hair and a kind smile. The other man had a small scowl marring his too beautiful face. He had copper colored hair that could stand a brush, but even his untamed hair added to his beauty. The woman had caramel colored hair and a small smile. She gave off a maternal vibe.

"Who are you? Are you angels?" I asked. I clasped my throat and looked around in shock. What the hell was wrong with my voice? I sounded different. I didn't even recognize myself.

"No, we're not angels," the woman giggled and smiled down at me. "I'm Esme, this is my husband Carlisle, and this is our son, Edward," she said pointing towards the blonde man and the really attractive one respectively.

Carlisle crouched down towards me and I flinched away from him. I didn't realize how much I flinched because I jumped 20 feet away from him. Carlisle gave me a sad smile. "Don't be afraid."

I was on sensory overload. It was impossible to not be afraid. I was obviously not in New York City anymore. I was with these strange people in the middle of a forest. And I could apparently jump 20 feet away whenever I wanted to. This was not normal.

"I can't hear her," Edward spoke softly. "Why can't I hear you?" Edward asked angrily. I couldn't find my voice. I only shook my head in disbelief. These people were crazy. "I-I don't know what you mean," I told him finally, still not used to my voice. "Edward, relax, she's already on edge. This is new for her," Carlisle told him. Edward continued to glare at me but he didn't speak to me again.

"Who are you people? Where am I? What's going on?" I asked them, my eyes never leaving Edward's. It was obvious that he didn't like me and I definitely didn't trust him either. "Maybe we should discuss this somewhere more cozy," Esme offered. I shook my head quickly. I didn't want to be in an enclosed space with them.

I gripped my throat. The fire there was starting to grow again. I could barely stand the pain. "She needs to feed," Carlisle said. I heard the beating of a drum. It was quick and even and it was the most delicious sound I'd ever heard. I could see Carlisle, Edward, and Esme talking amongst themselves but I couldn't hear them. My ears were only trained on the sweet sound in the distance.

Without another thought, I ran after it. I needed it, whatever it was. Before I knew what I was doing, I had my hands wrapped around a rabbit. It was like I had no control over my body. Without thinking, I bit into the neck of the poor little rodent and sucked the life out of it. Before one full second could pass, Carlisle, Edward, and Esme had caught up to me.

When I was done with the rabbit, I dropped it from my now bloody hands. When the lifeless rabbit dropped to the forest floor, it finally dawned on me what I had done. I had just killed a cute little fuzzy animal. I heard its heartbeat, and went after it like a wild animal. I looked up at my viewers in shock. Edward was stifling a shock while Carlisle and Esme were giving me a small smile.

I wanted to ask them what had happened. I wanted to know what was wrong with me. Instead I said, "I want more." My new voice was clearer and more beautiful, but I didn't like what it was saying. Did I really want to kill another innocent bunny?

Esme walked up to me and grabbed my hand gently. "We can get you more," she said softly. "Do you want another rabbit? Or something else?" Before I could answer, Edward intervened. "Perhaps a squirrel." My eyes shot to his and I saw his stupid attractive face turn into a smug smile. "Leave her alone, Edward," Carlisle said sternly.

I heard another beating drum and broke out of Esme's grasp to chase after it. This time it was a deer. A buck. I snapped its neck and drunk from its beautiful, long neck. I drained it within seconds.

"Why do I keep doing this?" I asked Carlisle once they caught up to me. Carlisle approached me like I was a wild animal and gently put one hand on my shoulder. "What's your name?" he asked me. "Jennifer," I answered quietly. "Jennifer, do you remember anything about your past life?" I nodded my head. I remembered the orphanage. I remembered the faces of my friends. I couldn't remember their names. I remembered the alley.

"I was in the alley. And someone was there. Someone I knew. Carl? Jamie? Tom? I can't remember his name." I looked up at Carlisle. He nodded his head for me to continue. "I was drinking. I wasn't supposed to. I guess I had too much. The guy, who forced himself on me. I tried to make him stop, but he wouldn't."

Esme approached me too and grabbed my hand gently. I continued. "I tried to fight him off. Instead of stopping, he kept hurting me. There was a knife. He had a knife. There was blood everywhere. I thought I died."

"You almost did, dear," Esme said softly. "Carlisle saved you." I looked up at him and he nodded his head. "Why? What was in it for you?" I asked him. He chuckled softly. "Nothing. I did what I thought was right." Edward took a step closer to me. "We're vampires." I raised an eyebrow at him. "I wasn't born yesterday. There's no such thing as monsters." Edward gave a dry laugh. "Yes there is. You still have a deer carcass at your feet."

I looked down at in horror as realization dawned on me. I looked at Carlisle, Esme, and Edward. Their eyes were a weird golden color. This explained their pale skin. I thought vampires were supposed to be ugly monstrous things with long fangs. I let my tongue feel around my mouth and I didn't feel any sharp fangs. My gap was gone, but I wasn't going to complain about that.

"But how? I mean, what? Why? What does this mean?" I asked Carlisle. "Maybe you'd like to come back to our home?" Esme offered. I slowly nodded my head. I needed answers and if going to their cave of coffins was going to do that, then that's what I'd do.

Esme continued to hold my hand in hers. I looked down at our hands and saw the contrast in color. My skin was darker than hers, but I was paler than I once was. I didn't remember anything about my parents. I only ever remember being in an orphanage. I remember being made fun of because my skin was lighter than it was supposed to be. I would have my hair pulled because it was "good hair". Too good for a colored girl. I was too dark to be white and too light to be colored. I just didn't fit in.

I smiled. I could remember the pain of being made fun of. But I couldn't remember the name of my rapist. Typical Jennifer.

"I still don't understand why I can't hear her," Edward muttered to Carlisle as their house came into view. Carlisle shrugged. "Maybe she's gifted. We could talk to Eleazer about it. I think he's still in Rhode Island. He'll be able to tell why she's silent to you."

We walked into their house and I gasped in amazement. Their house was huge. It was much bigger than the stupid orphanage, which seemed to be the only thing I could remember at the time. The decorations and furniture were beautiful. Everything looked very expensive and I made a mental note to stay away from it all so I wouldn't break anything.

I turned to Esme. "Jeez, who spit in this guy's oatmeal?" Edward turned to me, his signature glare in place. Carlisle and Esme laughed. "I thought you couldn't hear me," I told him sheepishly. He rolled his eyes at me. "I can't hear your thoughts," he explained. I tilted my head in confusion. "Isn't that good?" Edward shook his head. "How could that be good?" I shrugged. "It's been my knowledge that people that hear multiple voices in their heads had to go to special hospitals," I told him honestly.

Carlisle laughed and Edward continued to glare at me. "Edward is gifted," Esme explained. "He can hear people's thoughts." I gasped in shock. "Everyone's?" I asked. Edward's glare deepened. "With one exception." I bit my lip and played with my fingers in embarrassment. "Well, I'm sorry. I could tell you what I'm thinking if you want," I offered.

Carlisle laughed and patted me on the shoulder. "Oh, Edward will be alright. He's just surprised is all. You don't have to tell Edward all of your thoughts. Be happy that you don't have him poking around in there," Carlisle said patting me on my head.

"How old are you?" Esme asked me. I shrugged. "I don't remember." "What do you remember?" Edward asked, acid lacing his voice. "That I'm an orphan and people have always been really mean to me. Stuff that I don't really want to remember. I guess I have a selective memory."

"Stop being mean to her," Esme scolded Edward. Before he could respond, I cut him off. "It's okay, Esme. I'm used to it." I smiled at her. Edward looked at me guiltily and Esme continued to glare at him.

"Well, you have to be at least eighteen. You were behind a bar," Carlisle said. "That doesn't necessarily mean much," Edward told him. I nodded my head. "If I wanted to be there and I wasn't old enough to be there, I would've found some way for me to be there." Esme looked at me. "You don't look a day over twenty." I smiled at her. Esme looked around 25. Carlisle looked to be about the same age as her. Edward was around my age. He looked too young to be much older than me.

"You're taking this a lot better than I would've expected you to," Edward said suspiciously. I shrugged. "I don't remember anything about myself. I can't miss what I don't know," I told him. Esme grabbed my hand gently and pulled me after her as she walked up the long staircase. "Let's get you out of those soiled clothes and into something clean." "Alright," I agreed as she pulled me into a room.

The room was just as well decorated as the main floor. There was a huge bed and desk and rug and lamp and everything that I imagined a very expensive house would have in a bedroom.

Esme rummaged through her dresser and I awkwardly stood there watching her. She held up a nightdress to me. "This will fit you, I think. You can use the bathroom to wash the blood off of your face. You didn't get it much elsewhere." I nodded and let her lead me towards the bathroom.

I closed the bathroom door and sighed. What was going on? Everything was moving way too fast. I was confused, but not upset that I was confused. I assumed that my life must not have been very lovely if I didn't miss it. I turned towards the sink and nearly died. Well, I'm sure I would've died if I wasn't already dead.

The mirror above the sink held a beautiful face. A face that I vaguely recognized, but was still completely foreign to me. My freckles were gone. My lips weren't as thin as they once were. The cut I used to have above my left eye was gone. I couldn't remember why I had a cut, but I remembered having one. My hair was still curly and sandy brown, but I didn't mind that as much. My skin was already light, but it was now even lighter. I could even pass for white if I wanted to.

My eyes were red. Red like the blood of the poor rabbit that didn't stand a chance against me. If this was all some weird dream, and I woke up in the alley, or back in the orphanage, or wherever it was I was from, I knew that these red eyes would haunt me forever. I WAS a monster.

I grabbed the handle of the sink and completely broke it off. Water shot out of the spout. I tried to put the handle back on the sink, but it wouldn't stick. "I broke it!" I shouted. Edward opened the door and cursed under his breath. He ran away and ran back in less than 5 seconds. He had with him a bag of tools. "Please leave while I fix this," Edward grumbled. "I'm sorry," I apologized. "I didn't mean to. It was an accident. I was trying to-." Edward shot me a glare and I quickly shut my mouth and stepped out of the bathroom.

"It's okay, Jennifer. You can use the other bathroom down the hall," Esme comforted. "Will you tell Edward that I'm sorry about the bathroom?" I asked her, once we were standing outside of the other bathroom. She waved her hand dismissively. "Edward will be fine. He's always like this. But, I'll tell him what you said."

I thanked her before walking into the bathroom. I took a deep breath and reached for the handle of the sink again. This time, I barely touched it. It took me what felt like 5 minutes before the water cut on because I was touching it so softly.

When the water was finally running, I washed my face. The blood disappeared down the drain. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and eyed myself warily. I smiled, but my red eyes made me look sinister, so I quickly stopped smiling. Okay, wouldn't do that anymore.

I took off my bloody clothes and put the nightdress that Esme gave me on. I looked at my reflection. I was beautiful, but I felt odd. I felt like I was in a dream. This couldn't have been happening to me.

I grabbed the handle of the bathroom door and tried to open it. Instead of opening it like a normal person, I broke the door off of the hinges and held the entire door in my hand by the handle.

Edward walked out of the other bathroom to see me holding the door. He rolled his eyes and walked over to me. He snatched the door out of my hands. "I'll just fix this too." I gave Edward a sheepish look. "I'm really sorry, Edward. I swear. I didn't mean to. I'm sorry about the sink too. I-," "What are you hiding?" he asked, cutting me off. "I'm not hiding anything! I swear!" "You don't remember anything about yourself?" he asked. I shrugged. "I remember some stuff. Not a lot of stuff." I pointed to my eyebrow. "I used to have a cut here. I don't know how or why I had one, but I did. And I had freckles. But I don't anymore." Edward took a deep breath and looked at me with a small smile.

"Maybe we got off on the wrong foot. I'm Edward." "I'm Jennifer," I told him, holding my hand out to him. He looked at my hand oddly and I pulled it away from him. Edward's white and I'm not. I knew that it wasn't a normal thing for coloreds and whites to touch. "I'm sorry. I forgot that-." Edward maneuvered the door in his hand and grabbed my right hand with his. "Pleased to meet you."

I smiled brightly at him. "Likewise!" Edward grabbed his bag of tools and started putting the door back on the hinges. "So, Edward, what's your story?" I asked him. He raised an eyebrow at me and I covered my mouth with my hands. Had I offended him? I didn't know proper vampire etiquette.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pry." Edward shook his head. "You apologize quite a bit. You don't have to apologize. It's okay." Edward took a deep breath. "I was born in Chicago. I was an only child to Edward and Elizabeth Masen. My parents died from the Spanish Influenza and I wasn't very far behind them." I gasped at him. "I'm so sorry for your loss." Edward gave me a small smile. "I barely remember them. Human memories fade after a while. I don't know why yours are completely gone. It's strange." I shrugged. I didn't know why either.

"Carlisle changed you, too?" He nodded. "Carlisle changed all of us." "Who changed Carlisle?" Edward laughed. "Some vampire that we don't know. Carlisle said that whoever he was, he was weak and bit Carlisle and changed him. He didn't have anyone to explain things to him. He learned everything by himself." It was obvious that Edward admired Carlisle.

"So, Esme and Carlisle aren't your real parents?" Edward shook his head. "I guess you could call them foster parents." I nodded my head in understanding.

"Aren't you wondering about my eyes?" Edward asked. I nodded my head quickly. "Why are yours gold and mine scary?" Edward laughed. "Our diet. Most vampires have red eyes. Their eyes are red because they drink human blood. Our eyes are gold because we drink animal blood." I smiled at that. I didn't want to drink human blood. I didn't want to be a monster. I didn't want to hurt anyone. My smile quickly faded. Why were my eyes red?

"Did I eat someone while I was in hell?" I asked him. Edward laughed and I laughed along with him. His laugh was infectious. "No. Your eyes are red because there are traces of your human blood still in your body. Your eye color will change to gold the more you drink animal blood." I smiled. "Good, I don't want to hurt anyone."

Edward had fixed the door, but we kept talking. We sat on the floor next to the bathroom. Me asking him questions, him laughing at them, and then answering them the best he could.

"Why was I burning for so long?" Edward sighed. "That's what it feels like when you're changing. See, we have venom. Kind of like a snake or a spider. And whenever we bite something, our venom coated teeth leave traces of venom. The venom works its way through the bloodstream of our prey and that's what it feels like. Hell."

"How old are you?" "In total, or when I was changed?" "Both!" Edward laughed again. "I'm 29, but I was turned at age 17." "What year is it?" I asked him. "1928." "That sounds familiar," I noted. "It's almost 1929. In two more days, it'll be January 1st." I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion. "What was I doing out before the new year? You'd think that I would be partying a bit closer to New Year's." Edward laughed. "I haven't the slightest clue. Maybe you were celebrating Christmas?" I shrugged. "We'll just go with that theory."

"What time is it? It must be really late! I haven't had dinner and it must be time for bed." I stood up and prepared to descend the stairs. Edward grabbed my hand and I nearly gasped at the shock of electricity that shot through me. "Sorry to disappoint you, Jennifer, but you already had dinner. And, we don't sleep."

I rolled my eyes. "Be serious, Edward. Everyone sleeps." "Vampires don't." I looked him in the eyes and he was suppressing a laugh. "Never?" "Not a wink." My shoulders slumped. I couldn't sleep? For someone reason, I felt like I was very fond of sleeping.

"Are you thirsty? Do you want to go out for a hunt?" Edward asked me. I grabbed my throat and noticed that my throat was burning a bit. "It's okay. You're a newborn. It's normal for you to be thirsty often. Especially, because we drink animal blood. Animal blood isn't as sating as human blood."

I looked down at the nightgown that Esme had lent me. It was white and beautiful. I didn't want to get blood all over it. "Wait, I'll just go get my dirty clothes and put those back on. I don't want to ruin this dress." Edward grabbed my hand again and there was another shock.

"You don't want to go in that room right now," Edward whispered. "Why?" I asked him. If vampires could blush, I'm sure that Edward would've been tomato red. We could hear soft moans and grunts from Carlisle and Esme. I covered my mouth in shock. "They're really loud," I commented, also embarrassed. "They don't mean to be. They're trying to be quiet. It's just that, our senses are heightened, so our hearing is enhanced. You'll get used to it."

I looked down at my white dress and sighed in defeat. "I'll just try my best to stay clean." Edward smiled down at me. "We'll see how well that goes."

Edward led me out of the house and into the nearby forest.

"How does it feel to hear people's thoughts?" I asked him as we walked through the bare trees and snow covered forest. He shrugged. "At first, it was overwhelming. I would've given anything to make the voices stop." "Then why were you so cross with me when you couldn't hear mine?" I asked him softly. He chuckled. "I guess I rely on it a lot. When I couldn't hear you, I couldn't hear your intentions or your fears. It was unsettling."

"I'm sorry." Edward smiled at me and I felt my face mirror his. "You and your apologies." I used my hair as a curtain to cover my face from him. "It's okay," he finally said. "I like not hearing your thoughts. It's calmer. More peaceful. You make me feel normal."

And that was when I fell in love with Edward Cullen.

Okay, I know this is not what I usually do. I swear, I'm not going to abandon my other stories. I'll be updating them shortly. This story wouldn't leave me alone. I had to write it down. I had no choice in the matter!

I'm trying something new. I would love for you to review and let me know what you think.