Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.

Summary: Merlin has three secrets; three life changing secrets and this story tells of how those secrets got revealed to the one person that Merlin has ever loved, the one who his destiny had been tied to since the beginning of time. M/M

Alred

Merlin smiled softly as he watched his little boy run in the meadow, playing with Kilgharrah and the newly hatched Aithusa. He knew he was pushing his time to the limit, he had been away from Arthur for at least an hour so far, but he longed to spend just a little longer with Alred before he had to venture on the four day hunt.

King Arthur had decreed, due to his ever growing pressure to find a wife from the council, that a four day hunt would be held to reward his closest knights for all of their hard work. Merlin had cried like a child when Arthur had mentioned it in passing the night before, knowing that his four year old would be crushed by the news.

He longed to tell Arthur of Al, but to tell his friend of his son would bring up a lot of questions that he wasn't sure he was ready to answer; he could imagine how well that conversation would go.

"Who is his mother?"

"I am."

"But you cannot bear children; you are a man, not a woman."

"I was able to carry him as I… well… Arthur, I have magic."

"Don't be silly."

…..

"Arthur, please jus-"

"NO, YOU TRAITOR, I trusted you, with my life, my kingdom, my friendship. Get out."

"Please Arthur, I can explain-"

"GET OUT."

He was pulled out of his darkening thoughts as a solid weight ploughed into his side and settled on his stomach when he fell onto his back.

"Daddy, look what I found!" he cried happily as he pushed a daisy into Merlin's face, far too close to be able to see, with small delicate hands.

"It's perfect baby." Merlin crooned as he sat up and pulled the little boy onto his lap, resting his head on Al's soft brown hair he felt his eyes well up and his son tense.

"Don't go daddy." He mumbled as he turned around and wrapped his arms around the young warlock's neck, clinging tightly.

"I'm so sorry baby." He muttered back, knowing that there was nothing he could do but apologise for his extended absence over the next few days.

"But I-I-I don't want you to g-g-go." He sniffled quietly as Kilgharrah and Aithusa came over and lay on the grass at Merlin's feet, the older dragon frowning sympathetically at the younger warlock as he saw the tears begin to paint his pale cheeks. This had not been part of the warlock's destiny, the pain, the suffering, the heartache.

"It's all right little one," 'Gharrah placated in his softest tone "He shall not be gone for long." Noticing that this did nothing to lighten the child's heart 'Gharrah sighed. "And I shall need you to help me look after Aithusa little one, she shall need someone to play with and show her all the fun places in the caves."

Merlin sighed a little at this, knowing that his little boy would be happier about the situation now that it was made to seem that he was only staying because he was needed.

Alred smiled at this, pulling his head from Merlin's neck and turning to look at the larger dragon.

"But your hugs aren't as soft as daddy's." he stated seriously and Merlin could feel his heart breaking just a little more. He couldn't do this anymore.

"He shall give you an extra soft hug when he returns," 'Gharrah said before smiling, "and until then, you'll shall just have to have hard, scally hugs of me and Aithusa." He joked rubbing his snout on Al's reddened cheeks making the toddler giggle adorably.

Merlin stared down at the daisy that was clamped tightly in his son's hand, petals falling off and steam bent. Prizing it gently from his hand he called forth his magic and transformed the half destroyed flower into a beautiful, plush teddy bear, with soft, cuddly fur and shiny black eyes.

Presenting it to the awe-struck toddler, who was yet to show any signs of magic, he cuddled them both close and whispered gently into the boy's ear. Knowing that 'Gharrah could still hear if he wished to and that the old dragon would protect his son with his life.

"Now Al, Kilgharrah is going to look after you when I'm gone and Emrys here," Merlin explained pointing to the teddy. "Is going to give you soft, cuddly hugs for me, okay?"

At his son's nod Merlin stood and brushed the dirt of his trousers, Arthur was going to kill him for being late but Al was worth it, nodding at 'Gharrah he bent down and pulled Al into a hug and kissed his head.

"I love you Al." he whispered.

"I love you too daddy." He whispered back as he kissed his dad's cheek sloppily. Merlin choked back a few tears and stood weakly, nudging Al towards Kilgharrah, waiting before his boy was safely by the giant beast before he waved a final time, blew a kiss and turned to leave, finally allowing the tears to fall.

When he finally left the forest he dried his eyes on his shirt sleeve and trudged gloomily to the court yard, groaning and nearly turning back around when he saw an irate Arthur shouting at a young knight to find his 'useless excuse for a manservant and string him from the nearest horse by his toes until he learnt the value of being on time'.

"No need," Merlin called, clapping Arthur heartily on the back before deftly mounting his horse. "I shall string myself up when we return, or else who would carry your socks."

Merlin saw Gwaine snicker at this and Percival outright laugh, but he bared them no mind, the joke had been a knee jerk response and his mind was still with his tiny little boy.

Arthur frowned as Merlin made the jibe about his socks, not in anger though; he saw the slumped shoulders, the lack of smile and the red rimmed eyes and wondered what was upsetting his friend so.

Vowing to find out Arthur sent the other knights off, mounting his own horse, him and Merlin trailing at the back at a steady walk on their respective steeds.

They had been riding for about an hour when Arthur turned to face Merlin who was lagging behind him, stopping short, words frozen in his mouth as he saw new tears falling down his manservant's face.

"Merlin?" he asked unsurely, having seen Merlin shed a few tears before, most recently when he told the raven haired boy that they were going on this trip, but never cry as hard as he was now.

The younger man hunched over in his saddle as a sob tore through his throat and Arthur dismounted quickly, reaching the other man's side just as he fell from his saddle and began crying earnestly mumbling words and disjointed sentences as he clawed desperately at his shirt.

"Merlin what's wrong? Please tell me."

"I need to go back." He gasped out, pain lacing his tone and tears swallowing his words until they were almost unrecognisable.

"Why Merlin? What's happened?" the blonde replied, holding Merlin firmly against his chest and pressing the brunet's head against his neck in an attempt to calm him.

"Please, Arthur, I can't, not four days, please, please, please, he needs me." The servant begged his king shamelessly, clutching at any hope that he wouldn't have to continue.

While Merlin continued to sob into the blonds chest having received no response, Leon rode up the road and called out to the king, surprised at the sight that greeted him.

"Milord, we must be going."

Arthur hesitated, head turning between Leon and the still distraught Merlin. His knights could hunt without him, they were strong and brave. But Merlin… Arthur wanted to help him, find out what was upsetting him and fix it, making sure nothing ever hurt the delectable boy ever again.

"Sire?" Leon prompted.

"You and the knights advance on the trip, Merlin and I are to return to Camelot at once." He declared and Merlin began sobbing anew. Holding onto Arthur as if he were a lifeline, the only thing keeping him from falling.

"We shall accompany you back sire." Leon said.

"It shall not be necessary." Arthur said tightly. "You shall go on the trip and if you come back for anything other than war or serious injury I shall have you all in the stocks for a week." Arthur smirked. "Unless you believe yourselves incapable of surviving without my dashing looks and Merlin's sharp wit?"

This roused a giggle like hiccup from the brunet which Arthur felt proud at, a deep set pride accompanied with an inner warmth that he couldn't remember feeling before.

"No sire. God speed." Leon muttered before turning his horse and leaving.

Arthur cradled the brunet to him for a little longer before he stood them up straight and wiped the tears from his servant's cheeks.

"Will you tell me what this was about, what upset you so much?" The king asked softly, running his hands up and down Merlin's arms in an attempt to warm him up.

"I can't, you'll hate me." Merlin said softly, shaking his head vehemently.

"I doubt that Merlin." Arthur said sincerely, frowning that Merlin thought that he would hate him.

"You will never forgive me this, the lies I've told." Merlin continued, his resolve cracking, he can't keep Al a secret forever. Arthur would have to find out eventually. "The secrets I've kept."

"Lies? Secrets?" Arthur asked and Merlin hung hug his head, sighing he turned and gazed back to Camelot.

"I need you to meet some people, one of whom is priceless to me." Merlin began slowly. "But first I need to tell you something."

"Anything." Arthur said, prompting the servant to continue.

"Please, just remember that everything I have done, I did for you, for Camelot." At this Arthur frowned, worry and fear clenching his heart. "I never wanted to hurt you or keep things from you; you are one of the most important people in my life."

"One of the most important people?" Arthur teased and Merlin laughed.

"The second most important person." Merlin said back and Arthur tried to ignore how much that stung; who was closer to Merlin than him? Was it woman? Another man? Was he in love?

After a few more minutes of silence Arthur sighed, the tension and stress finally reaching a point where he was sure he would collapse from the strain of it.

"Tell me."

…..

"I have magic."

The words had been whispered so quietly that Arthur wasn't sure that he had heard them at first. But seeing the look of terror in his friend's eyes he knew that he had. Merlin had magic.

Closing his eyes and taking in a breath Arthur controlled his reflex reaction of disgust and pushed it down, thinking of Merlin and what his manservant had asked of him seconds prior.

"I never wanted to hurt you."

He thought of all those times that things had happened, things he could explain but that he was so grateful for. All the moments where the impossible seemed to happen and he was saved by something last minute and slightly unbelievable, like a falling tree branch or an old man who he had never met before.

He thought of the companionship that Merlin had offered, the counsel, the comfort and he couldn't help but think that the warlock would protect him from anything.

He pulled the brunet into his arms and pressed his face against his chest, all the while thoughts about past battles running through his head and beginning to make more and more sense.

"Don't ever keep anything from me again, please Merlin no more secrets." He begged as the warlock returned his embrace gently.

"You aren't going to kill me?" a soft voice asked from Arthur's chest. Arthur nearly cried at the hopelessness in his friend's voice and he was so sad at the fact that Merlin thought so little of him.

"Why would you say that?" Arthur demanded as he pulled back from their embrace to look the warlock right in his eyes.

"Well Uther hating magic and what happened with all the magical attacks on the kingdom."

"You are my friend; I wouldn't hurt you like that. Not after everything you've done for me, not after everything you've sacrificed."

"More than you know." Merlin responded without thinking.

"What?" Arthur asked and Merlin sighed, knowing that it was time that Arthur met Al.

"Come on then, I can't show you what I mean until we get back to Camelot."

The ride was long and filed with short, sporadic intervals of conversation where Arthur asked about something about Merlin's power, Merlin answered and then they lapsed back into slightly uncomfortable silence.

When they arrived back at Camelot Arthur silently took the reins of Merlin's horse off the shocked warlock and lead both of their horses back into the stables. When he returned back he found the warlock looking nervous and wringing his hands together fretfully.

"Ready to show me?" Arthur asked, touching the brunet's arm carefully, trying not to scare the boy too much.

Merlin nodded silently and ventured off towards the forest, Arthur following, glad that there weren't going to be any secrets between them anymore.

They trudged through the undergrowth deeper in the forest, Arthur catching Merlin a few times when he tripped, stopping him from falling on the rain-soaked ground.

They stopped at a clearing and Merlin turned to face the king, looking at him openly and speaking in the most honest way that Arthur had ever heard. "Please Arthur, the person that I'm about to show you is the most precious thing in my life, I honestly don't know what I would do without him and you have to promise me that you won't hurt him."

"I swear." Arthur replied as Merlin studied his face to see if he was telling the truth.

The king watched in awe as Merlin called out in a different language before his eyes flashed gold and he heard large booming footsteps echoing across the clearing.

He saw the dragon first, followed by a young boy of about three or four who launched himself across the meadow towards Merlin talking the brunet to the floor so that they fell in a tangled pile on the grass, smiling and laughing in a way that made Arthur's chest ache to feel something of a similar calibre.

"Daddy I thought you were going to be gone for four days." The adorable child said excitedly as he held up five fingers. Merlin chuckled softly and moved one finger down so that the little boy was only holding four up.

"I missed you too much baby." Merlin said pulling the toddler into his arms. "Oh baby, I missed you." Merlin said, letting a final tear fall as he lost himself in being with his son.

He was pulled out of his reunion when a deep voice spoke from behind him.

"Daddy? A son?" Arthur asked taking a step towards the two people as if he wanted to be closer but he was afraid to. Merlin held his hand out to the king and waited until Arthur had clasped his hand and knelt next to the two boys.

Merlin smiled softly at the little boy before brushing his hand through his downy light brown hair and kissing his cheek softly. "Al, meet King Arthur. Arthur meet my son Alred." Arthur smiled as the little boy looked him over critically and walked over to stand in front of him.

"Are you who daddy works for?" he asked in small shy voice as Arthur looked back at him and noticed the small plush dragon in his arms.

"I am," Arthur said "And I must say this is the most beautiful toy I have ever seen." He said, gesturing to the plush teddy whilst trying ardently to ignore the very real and very large dragon that was stood at the other side of the clearing eyeing him judgingly.

"Daddy made him for me, so that when he went away I could have soft hugs instead of 'Gharrah's hard ones." The little boy explained before jumping up and grabbing Arthur's hand, pulling him across the clearing towards the large dragon. Arthur looked frantically over his shoulder at Merlin to find the warlock smiling knowingly at the king, making no move to help him. "You haven't met Gharrah yet Arthur." The toddler exclaimed scandalised as he tugged the king over to his babysitter.

"Hello young Pendragon." The great dragon boomed, smirking toothily at the king. "I have wondered how long it would take for Merlin to bring you back here; he speaks of little else when he is here."

Arthur smiled at this little nugget of information, warming to the dragon more and more as he turned around to see a blushing Merlin still sat on the ground, fiddling awkwardly with some grass, maybe the brunet could love him too.

"Does he now?" Arthur said folding his arms as he turned back around to smile at the dragon. Al giggled and smiled at Arthur before pulling him down and whispering something into his ear, Merlin watched as Arthur smiled softly before he said thank you to the little boy and began to walk back over to Merlin as Al played with Kilgharrah, content to relax and enjoy himself now that his daddy was back.

As Arthur settled himself next to a still blushing Merlin he smiled softly, glad that he finally knew what had been upsetting his friend and that it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

"Thank you." Merlin whispered as he watched his son and Kilgharrah played happily in grass.

"For what?" Arthur asked.

"Accepting this so easily, I know it couldn't have been easy hearing all of that from me, knowing that I had lied to you, and I'm so sorry, I was trying so hard to just push it aside, the fact that I was going to have four days without Al, but, it was just tearing me up inside Arthur." He explained, resting his chin on his knees and leaning a little closer to Arthur, but still not touching him. Arthur wanted him to lean closer, he wanted Merlin to seek support from him.

"I wouldn't have begrudged you this Merlin, and if I had of known that I was asking you to be away from your son for so long I never would have asked." Arthur replied. "I do have a question though."

"What?"

"Who is his mother or father and where are they now?" Merlin sighed, he knew it was common knowledge that a warlock could have a child but he wasn't sure if he was ready to share this story with the king, if he was ready to have him look at him differently.

"It was… it was Lance, ummm Lancelot." Merlin said with a pain filled voice.

"Oh," Arthur said surprized as if he had never contemplated that Merlin could have carried the child. "How long were you two… well… you know?"

"It was only that once, before he went through the veil. I had said that… well I had said something and he didn't like it… it upset him and he said that he didn't want to lose me, that he loved me and we… well…you know." He blushed "I loved him too, but as a friend nothing more. He knew I was in love with someone else and that I always would be, I had told him that, but he said he just wanted that one night… I think he knew that he was never going to return to Camelot after that."

"What did you say?" Arthur responded.

"Sorry, what?" Merlin asked, having lost himself in the memory and not really knowing what Arthur was asking.

"What had you said that upset him?"

Merlin took a deep breath. "I told him that I would lay down my life to save yours… that there was no way you weren't coming back that day…" he trailed off unsure as to if he should say the next part, if it would do any good.

"And who was it you loved?" Arthur asked softly, hope blossoming in his chest, he had loved the boy for years and he didn't think that he could cope if his love loved someone else.

"I don't think I can tell you that." Merlin blushed.

"Can't or won't?"

"Won't."

"Shame, I thought we could have a girly heart to heart." Arthur tried to look down heartened as Merlin's head snapped up to look at him. "I thought we could share secrets."

"You have a secret?"

"Ummm Humm." Arthur hummed smugly.

"Oh."

…..

"Please, tell me Arthur."

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"I'll tell you mine."

"I already know what your secret is." Arthur teased mercilessly.

"No you bloody don't." Merlin said looking petrified and defiant all at the same time, that beautiful red blush painting his cheeks again.

"Someone told me." Arthur teased looking directly at Merlin this time.

Merlin's blood froze in his veins at this, raw panic seizing him as he thought how Arthur was going to punish him. Oh god, how did he find out? Who told him? Arthur crawled over the grass carefully to where Merlin was and settled carefully over his lower legs which were now lay out in front of him, resting his upper arms either side of Merlin's torso, preventing him from moving.

"Do you want to know what my secret is?" he whispered into Merlin's ear and he leant his lips so that there was a hairs width between his lips and the shell of the warlock's ear. Merlin nodded tongue tied and slightly aroused as he felt the heat that Arthur was emitting. "I love you Merlin."

Merlin gasped as the words washed over him, disbelief fleeting as he felt the way Arthur brushed his lips over the tip of his ear.

"I have loved you for years, I love you my warlock." He continued as he moved his butterfly kisses further and further down Merlin's neck. "Your turn." Arthur prodded anxiously as he lent back to wait for Merlin's response.

Merlin waited a moment to catch his breath and gaze at Arthur's face for the first time, properly seeing him.

"Of course I love you, you prat." He gasped, tugging the blonde down for a kiss that was more teeth than lips and that was sloppy, rushed and messy. "God how I love you." He gasped as he sat up.

They moved so they were sitting up, still holding each other's hands and blushing cutely, avoiding eye contact with each other.

Arthur was about to tease Merlin mercilessly again when a solid weight ploughed into his side and sent him sprawling back into the grass, a small bouncy person atop him.

"Does that mean you and daddy are getting married?" Al asked happily smiling at the blonde, his front left tooth missing.

"What?" Arthur asked slightly dazed.

"Well daddy said that if two grown up people kiss then they have to get married, so are you and daddy getting married?" he explained, as if Arthur was being beyond stupid.

Arthur looked over at a smiling yet slightly anxious Merlin and smiled wholeheartedly before replying to the four year old.

"I could think of nothing that I'd want more."

They smiled at each other before they both had their arms full of squealing, bouncy toddler and their ears filled with the hearty rumbling laugh of Kilgharrah.