Warnings: One-sided KuroAka, angst, etc. Short chapter.

It's not that Kuroko thought throwing Akashi out would magically solve all of his problems – he does acknowledge that having one-sided feelings for someone might be the least of his worries. Still, as he listens to Akashi walking away from his door (from his life) he can't help but feel disappointed.

He should feel better, shouldn't he? Not having to see Akashi every day is a weight off his shoulders. It just really doesn't feel like that.

But it's not like he could run after Akashi now, not after what he said to the boy. No, he made his decision and now he has to deal with the consequences.

Right then. Time to stop feeling sorry for himself.

(It's not like he has to be alone. All he has to do is stop taking his meds.)

The winter has been exceptionally cold and snowy; the wind is still quite chilling as Akashi makes his way through the white streets.

He's been wandering around aimlessly for hours now and he still has no idea where to go or what to do. He needs a place to stay at, that's for sure, but the money he has with him would only suffice for a few nights at a very cheap hostel.

So, he needs money. If he can get money, he can get a roof over his head, food, whatever else he needs.

But that's just the problem. He can't get a job, his parents would find him, not to mention the fact that he has no previous experience (his parents didn't deem it necessary for him to have summer jobs or anything since he was supposed to take over the family business) and even ignoring those, the scar on his neck would surely scare away potential employers.

What to do, where to go. So many questions and no answers. Akashi kicks a pile of snow and watches it dissipate into the air like white powder.

Kuroko father actually comes home earlier the day Kuroko finds out he's gotten into the school he wanted to in Osaka. Their celebration isn't anything big, just a slightly fancier dinner than usual and vanilla milkshake for dessert.

It does feel nice to be acknowledged though.

"So, are you really fine with staying in Osaka? Won't you miss your friends in Tokyo?"

Friends? That would be Kagami, right? "I can always call and visit."

"…right."

Truth is, Kuroko doesn't even know how to talk to his father anymore. The man doesn't know anything about what is going on in his son's life; maybe he talks to Kuroko's doctor every now and then but that's all. He doesn't come home in time to ask about how Tetsuya's day has been or tell about his own. He didn't even know Akashi was staying at the house until Tetsuya kicked him out, he doesn't know anything.

What a sorry excuse of a parent.

Sometimes Kuroko thinks that all of his problems can be traced back to his mother. If she hadn't left, if his father hadn't remarried, if Kuroko hadn't started talking to walls and furniture, if only…

But blaming her won't change anything. She may be the reason for Kuroko's life having gone to hell but that doesn't mean he can't change things. That doesn't mean he has to waste his life wishing it had turned out differently.

If he wants things to change, he has to be the one to make it happen.

"When I start university, I'd like to live alone." Not that it'd feel any different from the way things are now, considering how little his father actually spends time at home, but it does give him a feeling of independence and freedom. Maybe he'll even try to get a job to pay for his expenses so he won't have to rely on his father as much.

His father looks surprised and for a long moment he doesn't say anything, just sits there in silence. Then he gets up and start clearing the table. Kuroko follows his movements with his eyes, not saying anything either.

"I see," his father finally says. Kuroko blinks.

"Well, I guess… maybe we should discuss this with your doctor?"

"It's alright, I know I can handle it."

"I… see." The man takes the dirty dishes to the sink before turning back to his son with a serious expression. "Well, if your doctor thinks it's good for you then I can't really stop you, can I?" He sighs. "I just… well, I've been thinking I should be a better parent for you."

Kuroko doesn't reply to that; what could he possibly say? Nothing too nice. So he keeps quiet. He got what he wanted anyway.

Moving out means cleaning his room and packing all his things, deciding what to take with him and what to throw away, and it proves to be more work than Kuroko initially thought. He has everything else ready when he notices the photo album, pushed to the back of his bookshelf to hide it from view.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Hesitantly, Kuroko reaches a hand to pull the album to his lap. The last time he looked at it, Akashi was here with him. The time before that… well, he can't even remember. He really doesn't like looking at the old photos, seeing the happy family of three that feels more like a dream than something that actually happened to him. But he might as well take a look now, right, since he's doing inventory and needs to decide the fate of the album as well.

So he opens the book.

He hasn't smiled like that ever since his mother left and looking at the pictures makes him feel sick.

That's not me. I can't have that kind of expression anymore. The boy in these pictures… isn't me.

(I felt like I should make sure you're fine. Since you're the only child I'll ever have, Tetsuya.)

No. The woman he met up with wasn't his mother. The mother he knew and loved, the mother who loved him, the mother who has her arms around him as they both laugh in a photo taken at an amusement park, left and never came back. The father who's there with them, smiling gently at the camera, is long gone too.

In the present, Kuroko doesn't have a family. He doesn't have love. Now that even Akashi's gone, truthfully he doesn't have anything.

(The photo album is placed in the pile of things to be thrown away.)

A/N: I hope you've read my profile so you know why this is so late ;u; well, in case you haven't: I've been really busy with school work and haven't had the inspiration to write OTL but I think that from now till Christmas I'm gonna have more time for writing so I might just be able to go back to a more regular update schedule, yay~

Anyway, this chapter is short because I just kinda need back in the groove of writing ;w; thanks for all the support and feedback is greatly appreciated as always m(u_u)m