Sol: This was almost finished when we posted the last chapter, but it took a little while to get it finished and read through.

Star: Read that as she couldn't figure out how to end it, so it may be a bit abrupt. I reckon it's alright, in comparison to some of her other drivel -

Sol: Hey!

Star: So make the most of it.

SolStar: We've already disclaimed this once, we're not doing so again. Check chapter one!

The Girl

As much as she wanted to, Lily simply could not get comfortable. The floor was too hard; the sofa too yielding; a cushion too small; the chair too confining. Eventually, she ended up in the deep armchair by the common-room fire, curled in a ball on the red fabric, staring across the hearth into the dancing flames.

Dancing was the last thing she felt like doing at the moment. Her stomach was writhing with what felt like a menagerie of scorpions and poisonous serpents, and her abdomen was tightened into agonising knots. To top it off, she had started bleeding earlier, and knew it wouldn't stop for at least four days.

Periods suck, she groaned in the privacy of her mind. It's times like this that I wish I was a boy.

Lily's disgruntled musings were interrupted by a careful hand on her shoulder. A body moved around the chair, and Remus' kind, tired face moved into view.

"Good evening Lily," he said, his voice soft and a smile on his lips. "How are you this fine sunny evening?"

Lily twisted her head just enough to see a window across the Gryffindor common-room, where heavy autumn rain was making itself known with a repetitive dull thudding noise. She turned back to Remus and raised her eyebrows, smiling once he chuckled in reply.

"Well, this is Britain," he said. "You don't seem too happy though – what's wrong?"

Lily gave him a grimace as she tried to wiggle into a more comfortable position, then told him,

"I have cramps in my abs, an ache in my head, and am alternately delighted and nauseated by the very thought of food. I have also snapped enough at my best friend this morning that she has abandoned me to my agony and my own devices. Therefore, Remus, many things are wrong, and you can fix none of them." She bit her lip as she finished her tirade, suddenly realising what she was doing. "Sorry," she sighed. "I'm just irritable today."

"It's okay," replied Remus, understanding in his gaze. Then mischief appeared in his golden eyes, and he grinned. "I've got just the thing, too. I'm surprised you've forgotten, since you helped me out a couple of weeks ago." Lily watched warily, a hand pressed just below her ribcage, as Remus dropped his own hand into his pocket, fumbled a moment, and finally pulled out a bar of chocolate. Her face relaxed into a smile, and he broke it before opening the plastic. He placed a block in her free hand, then laughed when her eyes fluttered closed in delight as she ate it. She sighed, and the fist embedded in her stomach relaxed its pressure a little. When she opened her eyes, Remus offered her more sweet, rich chocolate and told her,

"A hot water bottle would help." She nodded briefly in agreement, and returned her attention to the chocolate bar, missing the devious sparkle in Remus' eyes.

"Hot water bottle, come here!" he called softly over her head and over the chair, and when her eyes flew open in surprise, she was horrified to see one insufferable speccy git standing beside Remus.

"I will be just fine, Remus, and even better without his company," she said coolly, glaring at the newest arrival to her cosy corner of the common-room. Remus smiled innocently as her eyes flicked back to him, and pushed the other boy down to sit on the floor by her chair, where he gazed up at her like an adoring puppy.

Remus gave her a 'who, me?' smile and the words,

"He'll be good. He doesn't even have his wand, so you can hex him to your heart's content if he's obnoxious."

Lily gritted her teeth.

"Remus," she ground out, "I don't have my wand." Remus' smile faltered, and he shrugged. Then James piped up for the first time, suave grin in place.

"I have more chocolate, since you've finished that bar."

Lily blinked and glanced down at her hand, and lo and behold, all the chocolate was indeed gone, eaten while they argued. After a suspicious glance at James, she sighed and surrendered.

"Alright," she said, exchanging the empty wrapper for the new bar quickly retrieved from his robe pocket. To open it, her hands left her stomach, and she partially uncurled, only to jerk back with blazing eyes when she felt warm hands on the bottom of her shirt. James' hands were prevented from retreat by the position of her knees, and one leg almost itched to straighten and deliver him a kick to the side of the head. James' worried hazel eyes looked up at her, but he made no move to speak or retrieve his hands.

"What, exactly, did you think you were doing Potter?" asked Lily coldly. He gave her a pleading look as he replied.

"Sirius taught me how to do a massage to help Moony, and he said it helped with cramps, and he said that it worked even better with chocolate, and then he went off to molest Moony again, and then I thought it might help you and stop you hurting but if you don't want me to I'll stop and –"

Lily clapped a hand over his mouth, and he fell silent again. Remus watched with amusement.

"Alright. But Merlin help you, Potter, if you use this as an excuse to try to cop a feel."

She lay back slowly and stretched her legs out, wincing as her legs straightened and her stomach muscles stretched. Then warm hands were rubbing gentle circles into her abs through her shirt, and Remus' voice asked her,

"How did you enjoy the Herbology assignment, Lily?"

She pulled a face and answered,

"About as much as you did, I'd wager. Don't tell me you enjoyed handling the Wasposes? Or should I say mauling?"

Remus winced and replied,

"I can't say I did, but I didn't maul anything. It got me, that's all." Lily smirked as Remus ran his tongue over his bottom lip in remembered pain.

"Yes it got you, right in the mouth. How big was your lip when you got up to the hospital wing?"

Remus glared playfully, but replied,

"A couple of inches, actually. Madam Pomfrey got the venom out, but she still had to shrink my lip until Sirius said it was normal again, what with me not being able to talk and all."

Lily laughed, then jerked in her seat as James' hands pressed a little too hard. A glare and he was back to light movements, allowing her to continue the conversation over his head, pointedly ignoring his content smile.

"And how, exactly, did Sirius know how large your lip was supposed to be? Surely he hadn't been examining it that closely." Remus blushed, and Lily crowed with laughter and triumph. "Remus! You sly dog! Well, how long has that been going on for? Come on, I want details. You can hide nothing from me Remus, so spill the beans. Who asked who? When did you kiss first? Do the other monstrosities know? – of course they do, who am I kidding. Come on! Spill!"

Remus' blush deepened as he replied.

"Actually, the first kiss was the morning after you introduced me to chocolate in a medical capacity, and he asked me out right afterwards, sort of. So about a fortnight, really, and it's your fault. Of course the rest of the Marauders know, and were there any more embarrassingly private details you wanted? Because that's all you're getting."

Lily almost pouted, but groaned instead when James' hands pressed a little too hard on her tightened stomach. He apologised, and she opened her mouth to complain when the portrait hole swung open, and Sirius stumbled in, arms laden with butterbeer, chocolate, and pumpkin pies. Remus smirked.

"I'm getting a little déjà vu here," he drawled, smiling warmly at Sirius, who told him,

"Yes, but last time you were the one being pampered, and Lily was the slave, like Prongs down there." Lily scowled at him, and James shot him a glare, but Remus just smiled slightly and patted the sofa beside him. Sirius didn't hesitate to take advantage and sit, pressing close to Remus and wrapping an arm around his waist. A slightly sober glance at Lily made Remus murmur,

"She knows," in the dark-haired boy's ear, and Sirius relaxed a little.

"You're okay with it, Evans?" His manner was polite, although his tone had a hard edge. Lily met the dark-haired boy's eyes and nodded, an upward curl at the corner of her lips.

"Always. Oh, and Black?" Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Hurt him and die." Sirius smiled as he turned his head to Remus, a softer smile than any Lily could remember seeing before.

"I couldn't," he replied, his voice equally soft.

James looked up and grimaced.

"Alright lovebirds, cut it out," he complained good-naturedly. Sirius shot him a cheerful glare, then turned as Remus addressed Lily.

"Seriously? Don't say it, Sirius. That was a new bar two minutes ago." Lily glanced down into her hand at the almost finished chocolate bar. She shrugged.

"My tummy hurts, the chocolate helps, and it tastes good to boot. You started it, anyway." Remus snorted, grinning.

"Not my fault I hurt so much and you make an excellent nurse."

While the two purebloods frowned in confusion at the Muggle term, Remus and Lily exchanged a small glare, which almost immediately dissolved into laughter as they could no longer contain their amusement.

"Me, a nurse?" Lily gasped.

"You'd make all the patients diabetic," chuckled Remus with a devilish grin, "Or kill them all from sugar overdose."

"At least they wouldn't have to suffer hospital food then," retorted Lily, her tongue as fiery as her hair and her temper. "That stuff tastes like plywood, and even that's an understatement." Remus winced, nodding in agreement while the dark-haired boys watched in increasing frustration and confusion. Sirius turned to James.

"Nurse?"

"Plywood?"

"Dibibetese?"

When the half-blooded werewolf nearly collapsed in hysterics at his boyfriend's attempt at pronunciation, the purebloods turned to Lily for help.

"Oh no, you're getting nothing from me," she told them with a smirk just short of full-blown laughter. "He's your boyfriend, Sirius, you talk to him."

"Oi!" Remus had apparently regained the ability to talk, and he glared at Lily, although he could not completely conceal his amusement. "To answer your questions, oh Marauders of lesser intelligence, a nurse is like an auxiliary Healer, plywood is a common Muggle building material made of shards of other woods, and diabetes, Padfoot, is a disease which means that the body cannot produce the right amounts of the hormone insulin. Happy now?" Both purebloods seemed particularly confused, but nodded anyway.

Lily rolled her eyes at Remus, who did the same.

"Of course you aren't, but we're going to leave it at that, aren't we?" Remus nodded in response to Lily's question, then glared as she tried to move and sighed as her muscles flexed and stretched without causing excruciating agony.

"James, can you let go of Lily now? Transfigure us a hot water bottle or something." Lily flashed her thanks to Remus and dropped the now-empty chocolate wrapper on the floor. Sirius bent over to pick it up, then glanced at Remus, grinning broadly at the look of approval. Lily snorted.

"You've got him well-trained then?" she asked Remus, only the flicker of her eyes indicating the subject of her question. One side of Remus' mouth lifted into a smile.

"Of course. Yours is equally tame, you realise – isn't it strange how they defer to us but no others?"

Lily smiled lopsidedly, flexing in her seat.
"It is, rather. But would you have them any less defiant, if you could?"

Remus' smile softened.

"Never."

Finis