I had hoped the change of scenery would allow me to sleep better. The crackling of a campfire was a welcome sound to both Alistair and I. The smell of pine burning brought back found memories of Oghren drinking more than his weight in ale, and getting into an argument with Leo, my mabari hound. Though I can't really remember what the argument was about, I do remember how mad Oghren was that Leo wouldn't "properly" respond to him. It made me a little sad to think of Leo. Though he had survived the war, the taint he acquired was too strong and rather than force him to suffer through a few more months with us, I opted to end his pain quickly.

Alistair laid his bedroll near the fire. We had brought along a small tent, but it was such a beautiful night that he had elected not to set it up, opting instead for sleeping under the stars. I sat a moment longer, staring at the stars and reminiscing. With the cold wind reminding me that it was getting late, I rolled my bedroll out next to Alistair's and slowly drifted off to sleep.

I focused my mind, the fogginess of sleep rolling off me like the ocean's tide slowly receding. I found myself holding a dagger to Alistair's throat. He was still in his sleeping clothes, and judging by the moon's height it was roughly midnight. By the way he was hovering over me, I could tell I hadn't been silent in my nightmare this time. Most likely he was trying to wake me only to find himself at the end of a less than empty threat.

My arm dropped back onto the ground, the dagger hitting the dirt with a thud. I let it roll out of my open palm, the deep internal pain of threating my lover taking over. Alistair sat back on his knees, still straddling my hips. Even though he knew I was also a warrior and could easily stand him sitting on me, he always opted for safer rather than sorry when it came to me.

"I'm so…." I started to apologize, but he put a hand to my lips to stop me.

"Tell me," he demanded, looking very seriously into my eyes.

I knew this look. It's the same look he had given Eamon when he said he would not support an overthrow of Anora. The same look he had given me when asking if I was serious about sleeping with Morrigan.

"About how much I love you?" I deflected, shifting nervously.

Grabbing my arms, he pinned them to the ground and repeated his request, now a plea. His eyes didn't show me any sign of wavering. A small tear involuntarily slipped from my eye, as my resolve to keep my sins to myself waivered and I began to tell him everything. After my rather lengthy confession, including my nightmare, Alistair fell back, sitting between my legs. I slowly sat up, trying to understand the emotions in his eyes.

"Say something," I whispered, extending my hand to touch his cheek.

He slapped it away and stood up. I'm sure he thought he was saying something coherent, but the mumblings were not something I could understand. With that he walked off into the darkness of the woods. I fought the urge to follow him, knowing he needed time along to process.