The Other Woman

The Doctor bounded into the TARDIS, a broad smile spread across his childish face.

"Hi honey I'm ho…" River slapped him hard across the face, jaw clenched, breathing hard, eyes narrowed. Her husband gaped at her, one hand nursing his reddening cheek.

"What was that for?"

"I just had a phone call," River growled, "from your fiancé."

"Ah," the Doctor said, taking a precautionary step backwards. "Ummm, who was it?" he asked in a small voice. River clenched her fists, nails digging into her palms as she tried desperately not to hit him a second time.

"Marilyn-bloody-Monroe that's who!"

"Oh, yes, problem." He took another step backwards. "I can explain."

"I'm waiting."

"Well, you see, the thing is, I mean, well it's really not my fault at all." River let out a harsh bark of laughter.

"What? Did she hold you up at gun point and order you to propose to her?" The Doctor grinned.

"Sounds more like your style than hers don't you think?"

"Don't play games with me Doctor," she hissed. "Explain. You've got thirty seconds before I rip that bow-tie from your neck and put it through a shredder." He gulped.

"Okay okay! Well, we were at this party and we were dancing and she asked me a question at the same time as I said yes to someone else answering a completely unrelated question and then hey presto I turn back around and suddenly realise that I have accidentally become engaged to Miss Monroe." He waited, bracing himself for another slap. She continued to glare at him, the fury slowly ebbing from her eyes. A grin began to spread itself across his face as slowly he understood.

"You're jealous aren't you?" She looked up at him, trace elements of shame leaking into her expression.

"Of course I am," she muttered. "It's not exactly easy to compete with the likes of Miss Monroe is it?" He laughed and hugged her to him, kissing her curly head.

"You will never have to compete with anyone River," he smiled. "She might be beautiful but she can't shoot aliens or even fly the TARDIS can she?"

"She's never tried to kill you either," River mumbled.

"You are also the reason I am still alive." River chuckled.

"I suppose so." She kissed him and then pulled away, heading up the stair. "Just deal with it sweetie," she said over her shoulder. "It's becoming really rather tiresome.