Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin.

Arthur was a hundred percent positive that Merlin had the emotional stability of a very young, very foolish girl. His idea was proved over and over again when he found Merlin crying over dead dragonlords, upset over flying cats and livid over shot unicorns. The one that took the cake in Arthur's memory was the magic reveal.

It was a gloomy, dark day in Camelot; the kind of day where people sit inside and drink cider and ale and tell stories about happier times. Arthur and Merlin were the exception to this norm and were out and about patrolling the nearby forest for bandits and other dangerous beings that often found their way into the unwelcoming darkness . Merlin was skittish and unhappy and Arthur was making fun of him for it.

"Afraid of a little water, Merlin?" Arthur said when it started to rain.

"Afraid of a little thunder, Merlin?" Arthur said when it started to thunder.

"Afraid of little birds, Merlin?" Arthur asked when a dove flew by.

"Afraid of a little tree, Merlin?" Arthur said when they heard the snap of a branch. This one caused him to turn around and look behind him at the edge of the forest. Snapping branches could mean forest animals, bandits or other dangerous beasts. He heard the sound again in front of him and turned to it. An armored man was standing in the clearing in front of them. His sword was drawn and he leaned on it, looking regal and ominous. Arthur was slightly terrified of the figure in front. Why was he there? He was no knight of Camelot or any kingdom Arthur could recognize, the crest of his shield blue with a white tree blooming on the front. Rogue knights in forest on dark days usually never boded well.

"Who are you? State the kingdom you come from, good knight, and your business in Camelot," Arthur told the figure, who had not changed position. To Arthur's surprise, he replied.

"My name is Pellinore, and I am king of a land far from here. I come to challenge you, King Arthur Pendragon, to a duel. I have heard many tales about your prowess and wanted to see if they were true."

The man threw down his gauntlet in front of Arthur as a challenge. Arthur and Merlin dismounted, still wary of the stranger.

" I accept your challenge."

Merlin protested to the side but shut up immediately at the look that Arthur gave him. The two kings drew their swords and proceeded to fight in time to the rolling thunder. Arthur lunged and twirled, stabbed and slashed at Pellinore and received many blows in return. Arthur could tell he was winning, Pellinore was becoming more exhausted with every blow. Suddenly, a shout came from behind. Several men jumped out from behind trees and charged at Arthur, intent on killing the king. Arthur saw Merlin look around in panic and he motioned for the other man to run. Merlin shook his head quietly, and held out his hands. Arthur looked on in confusion as his friend's eyes turned gold and the men around him flew backwards. Merlin glanced at Arthur in desperation.

"Come on Merlin, get to the horses. We have to ride back to Camelot now!"

Arthur saw two conflicting emotions cross his manservant's eyes before he turned and obeyed his king.

The weeks that followed the incident were trying for Arthur. Merlin became quiet and obedient and followed every order of Arthur's quickly and efficiently. Arthur could tell that Merlin was scared. Every time he raised his voice or there was a knock on the door, his manservant would flinch and turn pale. The man was frantic around Arthur, trying to please him by being a good and pleasing servant. But Arthur could tell that Merlin was scared and sad, his hands shook as he poured wine and Arthur caught him wiping his eyes occasionally when he thought Arthur wasn't looking.

Arthur himself dealt with his conflicting emotions by talking to others he trusted. He had many long conversations with Gaius about Merlin and his magic and often went to Guinevere for advice as well. He spent many hours shouting and ranting to himself in his chambers when Merlin wasn't there and it made him feel better. Gaius had told him many things about Merlin and the first was that he was loyal to a fault and never meant anyone or anything harm. Arthur often observed this in his manservant, who returned to work day after day even though it hurt him inside. Arthur made a mental list of all the times he thought Merlin had helped him, but stopped after a while, realizing that he could never name them all.

After a few weeks, Arthur realized he missed his cheeky friend and that he wanted him back. He never though that the word 'sire' or 'your majesty' could grate so much on a man's nerves. His chambers were spotless as Merlin cleaned in frantic desperation thinking that maybe if he did a satifactory, Arthur would not burn him. Eventually, Arthur tired of Merlin bowing and agreeing and sire-ing frantically in order to please his master. He woke up one morning to Merlin's face smiling in an obviously fake manner that didn't reach his eyes.

"Good morning, sire. It's time to wake up, your highness. You have a council meeting this morning."

"Go away, Merlin. I want to sleep," Arthur blearily opened his eyes to a panicking Merlin, who was trying to decide how to wake the king without offending him.

"I'm so sorry, your majesty, but you really must wake up or you'll be late."

Arthur could tell Merlin was desperate and worried that this incident might cost him his head. His eyes had taken on a sheen of nervous energy and he looked paler than usual. The king sighed and threw off his covers, not wanting his manservant to go into a panic attack because his master didn't want to wake up early.

"See Merlin, I'm up. There's no need to work yourself into a fit about it."

"Thank you, sire. I've laid your clothes out already for the meeting and wrote your speech. I'll polish your armor this afternoon and clean your chambers as well," Merlin bowed slightly to his king. Arthur was impressed.

"I never thought you could be so efficient Merlin. Always wondered why my father didn't hire you as the court jester before but you've become a very good servant. Keep up the good work."

Arthur watched as hope flashed across Merlin's eyes. It made him feel warmer inside that Merlin didn't look as if he wanted to fade into the grey wall behind them.

"Thank you, sire. Your approval means a lot to me," and with that, Merlin bowed and left.

The rest of the day was spent in council meetings and public meetings. The speech Merlin wrote was brilliant and the people cheered when they heard it. Arthur saw Merlin very little throughout the day and he gave him a small smile when he did. This caused Merlin to frantically try to do more chores in less time in order to please the king. Arthur just smiled to himself at how idiotic Merlin looked concentrating on polishing his armor until it shone and he went to bed happy.

By the time a week rolled around, there was not a spot of dirt anywhere in the castle. Merlin, in order to please Arthur, had mopped every chamber and room and had polished every statue and piece of armor in Camelot. At first, it had pleased Arthur that Merlin was looking more hopeful, but as time went on, he realized that their relationship was not improving. Arthur had poked friendly jabs at Merlin, only to get shaky and nervous replies back. The poor manservant was exhausted at the end of the week and this did not help his emotional state. It came through most clearly at the end of the week when he was serving Arthur dinner in the royal chambers.

Arthur had noticed Merlin's trembling hands as he served the wine and the paleness of his manservant's face in the moonlight. Merlin seemed stressed and very unhappy and it made Arthur unhappy and frustrated. He wanted the old Merlin back, who would tease and bother him until they both were laughing their heads off. After Merlin had tripped for the third time that dinner, Arthur decided to say something.

"You'd think having magic would make you more competent, wouldn't you, Merlin?"
This caused Merlin to jump, dropping the pitcher of wine and watching it shatter all over Arthur's tunic and floor. Merlin turned white, and rushed forward with a cloth to clean it up.

"Damn it, Merlin! That was a good shirt and a good floor," Arthur replied in a teasing tone, knowing the shirt was crappy and the floor had suffered no permanent damage from the incident.

"I'm sorry sire. I'll clean it up immediately. Please don't be upset, I'll fix your shirt sire. I'm sorry, your majesty. I didn't mean to, sire. Just being clumsy. Please forgive me, please," Merlin babbled as he cleaned up the mess, hands shaking and breathe hitching. Arthur frowned.

"Merlin, its ok," Arthur replied, causing Merlin to flinch away and shake more as he wiped up the shards and spilled wine. "It's just wine Merlin. Nothing to get so upset over."

But Merlin was already on the verge of panic and had backed farther away from Arthur, desperately afraid. Arthur sighed and went over and laid a hand on his friends shoulder. Merlin remained facing away from Arthur, breathing heavily and starting to cry. Arthur felt his heart turn at the sight and pulled Merlin in closer, holding him as the broken man sobbed. Arthur tightened his grip around the boy and rested his forehead on the shock of black hair.

"Shh, Merlin, it's alright. It's just a pitcher of wine, nothing to get so upset about." Merlin continued crying and Arthur could hear frantic apologies and pleadings not to burn him. Strings twisted in Arthur's heart at the sight of his best friend reduced to so little because of fear. Arthur felt tears trailing their way down his cheeks as he rocked Merlin, trying to get the poor boy to calm down.

"I'm not going to burn you, Merlin and I'm not mad at you anymore. We'll be alright, you'll be alright."

Merlin's sobs eventually quieted as he exhausted himself and he turned his red rimmed eyes to Arthur's face.

"Do you really mean that? You're not going to burn me?" He had such a hopeful expression in his blue eyes that Arthur tightened his grip.

"No, Merlin, I'm not going to burn you and I don't know why you ever thought I was going to. I could never burn my best friend."

Merlin smiled at that and Arthur could tell that he was fighting to stay awake. The last few weeks had been hard on Arthur but ruthless on Merlin. He was still pale and shaky but no longer held any of the desperation and fear that had held him captive before.

"You know you reacted worse to your magic than I did, Merlin. This proves that you're worse than a girl's petticoat."

Merlin laughed at this and started crying again. He was so tired and so happy that he couldn't stop the moisture from overflowing onto his already wet and swollen cheeks. Arthur wiped tears gently off his friend, worried that he had broken him for good.

"Hey, Merlin, shhh. There's no need to cry over that revelation. You knew you were a girl before and I think I'm just realizing the full extent of it. Let's get you back to Gaius's, alright? I won't let anyone hurt you."

Merlin nodded and stood up shakily. Arthur supported the thin and knobbly man all the way back to the physicians chambers where he helped him into his bed. Arthur left to shut the door and let his manservant sleep, knowing that they'd be alright eventually. A muffled sound caused him to turn to his sleepy friend.

"Arthur?"

"Yes, Merlin."

"Thank you."

Arthur smiled and left Merlin to dream peacefully.