Disclaimer: You all know it, the characters and background story don't belong to me but to Paramount, unfortunately. No copyright infringement is intended, no profit will be made. I also like to give credit to Novad and her "Secret Logs of Mistress Janeway"-series who inspired me to start these stories. I'm deeply indebted to her.

Language Disclaimer: English is not my first language. So, please be lenient.

This is an alternate universe story. It contains strong elements of kink and BDSM (consensual, of course). If this is not your cup of tea please go and read one of my other Star Trek stories "It's a Good Day… to Get Married" (DS9), "There's None So Blind…" (Voyager) or "The Brig" (Voyager) at the Athenaeum or .

Oh, and this is story takes same-sex relationship for granted and contains graphic descriptions of consensual sex. So, if you're not of legal age, please come back later, and if it's illegal where you live, rent an U-haul and move somewhere else.

This is the sequel to "My Captain, My Mistress, My Love: The Beginning". It might help to read that first. "Thirty Days" takes place in season four. And just to refresh your memories: Chakotay betrayed Voyager to go with Seska and they both were killed while trying to take over the ship. So, he is out of the picture and Tuvok is First Officer as well as Chief of Security. Voyager is also plagued with a number of substandard parts that make cruising the Delta Quadrant that much more dangerous. Captain Janeway and her Chief of Engineering took the Oath but they are more than just partners to each other. They are best friends, they are captain and crewmember – and they are Mistress and slave….

My Captain, My Mistress, My Love: Thirty Days

by

romansilence
(romansilence )

Prologue

My name is Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres, daughter of Miral of the House of Katal, chief engineer on board of the Federation Starship USS Voyager, intrepid class, stranded in the Delta Quadrant under the command of Captain Kathryn Janeway. This is my story.

My name is B'El. I am a slave and Kathryn Janeway is my Mistress. Mistress Kathryn is kind and firm, stern and loving. She knows how to keep me in line and how to give me untold pleasure. She owns me, body, heart and soul. This is her story.

My name is B'Elanna and Kathryn is my lover and my wife. She is the love of my life and should there be a life after death I will love her in all eternity. This is our story.

Chapter ONE: The Punishment

B'Elanna Torres, Chief Engineer of the Federation Starship USS Voyager, entered her quarters after a long day of another near disaster averted by a hair's breadth. As soon as she had stepped over the threshold she found herself held by the strong arms of her wife. She was dirty and grimy from crawling through one Jeffries tube too many but being held just felt too good to worry about such things. Kathryn saw the pain of almost having lost two of her people to a senseless accident in B'Elanna's eyes and kissed her. The kiss was meant to be reassuring but her beloved wife started to cry.

"Nothing happened, my love, you found the problem in time. No one died, no one was injured and Voyager is in better shape than she was before."

"Thanks to Seven of Nine. She found the reason for the phase variance," B'Elanna answered.

"Her report is full of praise about your ingenuity to repair it without having to deactivate the engines and the main energy grid. It kept us from turning into sitting ducks – of course she didn't use the same words."

B'Elanna's tears fell harder. Kathryn led her to their bathroom, undressed them both and guided her under the shower. B'Elanna automatically reached for the soap and loofah to attend to her Mistress, but Kathryn stopped her.

"No, my B'El. It's my turn to take care of you. You just came home from a harrowing shift, I already had a couple of hours of rest."

B'Elanna didn't even try to protest which spoke more clearly of her mental state than anything else would have. She allowed herself to be bathed and dried. Kathryn recycled the wet towels and when she turned back she found her wife on her knees in a perfect supplication position, something she had not seen for quite some time. Whatever B'Elanna had on her mind it must be serious.

So, instead of ordering her to get up, she said, "I'm listening, B'El."

"Mistress, could you please ask Seven of Nine to witness my punishment for losing my temper and insulting her earlier that day?"

"Are you sure, my B'El?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes, Mistress, I'm sure."

"Sit up and explain,"

B'Elanna elegantly flowed to 'kneeling rest', one of the most common slave positions with her knees spread wide, her back straight, her hands, palms up, on her thighs and her eyes on the floor. It was meant to remind the slave of her position, her vulnerability and was comfortable enough to be held for hours.

"Look at me, love."

B'Elanna looked up, and for the first time in months Kathryn saw a real need to be punished in her beloved's eyes.

"The phase variance had been driving me nuts; it caused malfunctions and false alarms and I knew it wouldn't stop 'til I had found its origin. I thought I had narrowed it down to two junction points in Jeffries tube seventeen and sent Vorik and Morgan to check it out manually… well, you know the details, they were in my report.

Bottom line is the… Seven waltzed in my engine room. She walked over to a console and started to input data without so much as a by-your-leave. I lost it and shouted at her. I called her a stupid drone, a moron, an icicle, a bitch, a soulless machine. I grabbed her by the arm and tried to throw her out. She resisted. Today she didn't tell me how inferior Starfleet technology is, instead she pulled me in front of the console. She had found the origin of the phase variance, just in time for me to stop Vorik and Morgan. They would have been killed by an overload had they even tried to open the panels of the junction points, and it would have been my fault.

It was another substandard part. I swear, if I ever get my hands on the supply officers who purchased all of that junk and the engineers who used it without sufficient testing I'll twist their necks."

"I'll help you hide the bodies, but that still does not explain why you want Seven present for your punishment, and since it's the second time this week the number of strokes will have to be doubled. Do you really want her to see that?" Kathryn asked.

"Yes, Mistress, I do, not because she saved two lives today, but because I acted dishonourably towards her. Having her witness my punishment is the first step of making it up to her," B'Elanna said.

Kathryn's eyes widened at the sudden change of attitude. Over the last months B'Elanna had been unable to speak about Seven of Nine without shouting or cursing, though it had been her who had initially encouraged the captain to see behind Seven's Borg exterior.

"What made you change your mind?"

"Seven helped me to fix the problem. I thanked her, I think for the first time ever, and she smiled. It was just a tiny smile but it was enough to get me thinking. I replayed our fights and remembered having seen flashes of pain in her eyes when I once again had called her an emotionless drone. And then I remembered Kessik IV and the insults the other children hurled at me because I was different. And I understood that I had acted without honour, like an honourless p'taq. I need to make amends, Mistress."

"I'm glad that you changed your mind, my love." Kathryn bent down and kissed B'Elanna's forehead, "Go to the playroom, prepare the spanking horse, select a cane and a riding crop. I'll contact Seven."

"Thank you, Mistress."

-x-x-x-

Ten minutes later Seven of Nine entered their quarters, "You wanted to see me, Captain?"

"Yes, Seven, thank you for coming. To be exact, it's B'Elanna who wants you to see something. What you're about to witness may seem strange to you but I still want you to hold back the questions you undoubtedly will have until later. I promise I will answer them to the best of my abilities."

"I will comply, Captain."

Kathryn let the door to the play room slide open and motioned for Seven to enter first. The tall blonde stopped in mid-step when she saw B'Elanna Torres kneeling in the far corner of the room with her back to the entrance and completely naked. She took in the room and its 'furniture' her eidetic memory had trouble identifying.

"What is going on, Captain?" Seven asked.

"Please hold your questions, Seven. You will soon see, and you have my word that nothing in this room happens without B'Elannna's consent."

"B'El come here."

B'Elanna rose elegantly, turned around and sank back on her knees in front of the other two women, "Please, Mistress, punish me for losing my temper and insulting Seven of Nine. Seven of Nine, please, accept my apology for the way I treated you. I would be grateful if you would witness my punishment."

Seven's eyes widened but she slowly nodded her consent.

"How many words did you speak in anger?" Kathryn asked.

"Twenty-nine, nine of which were directly insulting," B'Elanna answered.

"Cane or crop first?"

"The riding crop, please, Mistress."

Kathryn nodded. B'Elanna came fluidly to her feet, walked over to the dresser where she had put both instruments of discipline. She went back on her knees and presented the riding crop on her outstretched hands.

"Take your position, my B'El."

B'Elanna reached back and grabbed her ankles, pushing out her chest. Kathryn gently removed the nipple ring.

"I want you to count, my B'El, and don't forget: this is a repeat offence, so, the number of strokes will be doubled. Oh, and look at Seven while you count."

The first stroke hit B'Elanna's sensitive right nipple but she didn't flinch and her voice sounded calm. Seventeen strokes later there were only four red lines visible on every breast; the rest of the strokes had been centred on the nipples. B'Elanna's voice never wavered but with the last stroke a single tear rolled down her cheek. She kissed the riding crop and thanked Kathryn for the punishment.

The crop was put back on the dresser and she brought the cane and presented it the way she had the crop. Her Mistress' attention, however, was on Seven. They were speaking quietly.

Kathryn turned back to her and said, "Seven just asked me to end your punishment. She thinks that a few words spoken in the heat of the moment are not worth to suffer for. I'm willing to make an exception, just this once. So, what do you say, B'El?"

"Please, don't Mistress. I thank you for your consideration, Seven, but I deserve to be punished. My actions were not worthy of the uniform I wear and I have to bear the consequences. My actions dishonoured my Klingon and my Human heritage. To even begin to restore my honour I have to pay the prize. Please, finish my punishment, Mistress."

"I leave the decision to Seven." Kathryn said.

"Are you sure that this is what you want, Lieutenant Torres?" Seven asked.

"Yes, Seven. I'm sure. This is what I want and what I need."

Seven nodded and took a step back, but she didn't leave the room.

Kathryn took the cane from B'Elanna and ordered her to bend over the spanking horse, "Do you want to be restrained, B'El?"

"No, Mistress, but it might be better to at least bind my legs. Fifty-eight strokes with the cane are more than I had in a long time."

"It will be done, B'El."

Kathryn handed the cane to Seven. It was very thin, made of fibreglass and though she didn't try it Seven was sure that it would cause a lot of pain. She decided to speak up again, "Captain, could you not use the other stick, please? It looks dangerous."

"That's why B'Elanna chose it, Seven. This cane can draw blood with the first stroke. By choosing this one instead of a more harmless one B'Elanna shows her trust in me. She trusts me not to break the skin. B'El, I want you to count every second stroke."

"Yes, Mistress, every second stroke. May I also thank you, Mistress?"

"No, keep your thanks for the end."

The first two strokes came in rapid succession and were hard enough to let B'Elanna groan. Three and four made her glad that her Mistress had not only restrained her legs but also her hands. Number six hit her right at the junction of her legs and grazed her clitoris. She gasped and began to focus on her breathing; it would help her to stand the pain.

"Twelve."

Kathryn put her hand on the small of B'Elanna's back, just above the highest cane mark, "Don't hide from the pain, my love. Let go; give me your pain."

Kathryn felt the slight tremor running through B'Elanna's body. She knew that she was asking a lot of her wife, especially with a witness present, but she also knew that B'Elanna would do her best to follow that order. She would fight to not let the pain make her slip into her sub-space. And Kathryn had no doubt that she would succeed as testament to her training, her devotion to her Mistress and the level of her regret of her actions.

"Twenty-two."

Seven could see tears running down B'Elanna's face but listening only to her voice one would not have known. Seven checked the information in her cortical node, but everything she knew about Klingons was completely incompatible with what she was seeing now. Klingons were proud; they never would allow themselves to be beaten this way and they certainly would never hava asked for it. Why did B'Elanna Torres? Was it a part of her Human heritage? But somehow that didn't seem to fit either.

"Twenty-eight."

B'Elanna's voice still sounded normal, as if she were counting off a supply list and not cane strokes leaving red marks on her buttocks and upper thighs.

"Thirty-two."

Seven knew that Klingons and even-half Klingons had a rather high pain threshold but she still had a hard time to understand why Lieutenant Torres basically was doing this to herself.

"Thirty-eight."

Seven stared at the red stripes and welts that already had formed on the tortured buttocks and upper thighs. Her ocular implant informed her that they did not vary in strength which in her opinion was a considerable feat for a simple Human.

She found herself unable to look away and found no reference as for the 'why' in her memory engrams. If she had been in the habit of verbally expressing her feelings she would in all probability have identified them as a slight unease combined with utter fascination.

"Forty-eight."

Seven surprised herself with the question if her nanoprobes would suppress the pain early enough or remove the marks before they had a chance to really show and with the further question how being treated that way would feel in the unlikely event that the nanoprobes would not interfere. Would she even be able to submit to another person as completely as B'Elanna Torres seemed to be able to do?

"Fifty-six."

Did she even want that? Didn't it mean to give up that cherished individuality the captain kept talking to her about?

Seven was so busy with her musings that she had not registered that the beating had stopped and the captain had already freed B'Elanna from her restraints. She wasn't even completely aware that Kathryn had led her back into their living space. She never before had lost track of her surroundings like this. Seven decided to program her alcove to check her cortical node for malfunctions during her next regeneration cycle.

"Take a seat, Seven."

Seven unconsciously obeyed, to her own surprise as well as Kathryn's.

"I guess you have some questions."

Seven nodded and for a moment she contemplated asking all the questions she just had asked herself. She quickly discarded the idea and settled for something more obvious, "Where is Lieutenant Torres?"

"She will be with us in a few minutes, Seven. After intense punishments she often needs a few minutes to herself to regain her equilibrium," Kathryn answered.

She didn't tell Seven that B'Elanna had returned to her corner to let her intense arousal abate on its own, but the former Borg was more astute that she had expected.

"B'Elanna Torres was sexually stimulated, as are you, Captain. Why?"

"Pain can be something very stimulating, the giving and the receiving of it, at least for some people and under special circumstances."

"My separation from the Collective still hurts. I do not find it stimulating," Seven answered and surprised herself with her honesty.

Kathryn covered her surprise at the flash of pain in Seven's eyes, "Your separation from the Borg was not something you chose, Seven. It was not your decision, not your free will. I'm sorry that there was no other choice and that it harmed you. But it's a different kind of pain. You are talking about emotional pain. I'm talking about a certain kind of physical pain. Under the right circumstances it can be very liberating."

"I do not understand."

"Today B'Elanna experienced pain as a punishment, and the pain will help her to forgive herself for what she did wrong. Pain also can be an instrument of pleasure, sexual pleasure. Had tonight not been about discipline and punishment she would have had at least one orgasm from being caned."

Seven's eyes widened, "I do not understand," she repeated.

"You smelled B'Elanna's arousal."

It wasn't exactly a question but Seven still nodded.

"And when she joins us, she will still be aroused… Ah, here you are, love."

B'Elanna had donned a white tank-top and black slacks.

"You took your punishment well, my B'El. I'm proud of you."

"Thank you, Mistress."

B'Elanna kissed Kathryn's cheek and asked if one of them wanted something to drink. Seven predictably refused but Kathryn nodded and told B'Elanna to surprise her. Moments later the aroma of hot chocolate wafted through the room, and B'Elanna returned with three steaming mugs.

"Thank you, bang'wI. Try it, Seven, you may find out that taste is not irrelevant."

B'Elanna took a seat on the floor and leaned half against the couch and half against her wife's legs. She blew on the hot liquid to cover up her forced exhale when her tortured behind came in contact with the carpeted floor. She still grimaced a bit but that quickly turned into a genuine smile when she looked at Seven of Nine.

The former drone cautiously raised the mug to her lips but didn't drink immediately. She smelled it and that tiny smile B'Elanna had seen earlier that day made a reappearance. In her mind B'Elanna saw a blonde girl sitting on the lap of a woman who told her to be careful because it was still hot. And her imagination was points on.

Seven exhaled slowly, just like her aunt had done all those years ago to cool the chocolate down. She took a sip and the tiny smile blossomed to a real smile; a smile so genuine and bright that B'Elanna and Kathryn turned their attention to their own beverage to give her some privacy. A flood of beautiful childhood memories rushed through Seven of a time when she had still been on Earth and had stayed with her aunt in Stockholm while her parents were negotiating with Starfleet about their Borg research project.

Another part of her mind was busy thinking about the captain's words, and suddenly she understood, "If Lieutenant Torres had allowed herself sexual release it no longer would have been a punishment, but how… I have to go and do some research."

"Please, stay, Seven," B'Elanna said. "I guess you want to know how to control an orgasm, right?"

"Yes Lieutenant. My research told me that sexual release is a natural phenomenon and impossible to control, a need of the humanoid body to rid itself of hormones, a biological function like eating and sleeping."

"Please, call me B'Elanna. It's true that hormones are set free during a climax, an orgasm, and it's also true that it's hard to control, but it's not impossible. It's a question of will power, self discipline and training."

"Explain. Does that have to do with why you called Captain Janeway 'Mistress' numerous times this evening?" Seven asked.

"Yes, it does, but Kathryn is much better at explaining it than I am."

B'Elanna looked up at her Mistress with love and devotion in her eyes and got the same expression in return. Seven didn't have a name for what she read in their eyes but she knew that she would willingly have taken B'Elanna's place on the floor if it meant that Captain Janeway, that anyone would look at her that way.

For the next couple of hours they spoke about dominance and submission as psychological needs in general, about the different forms those needs can take, and also, mostly to illustrate a point, about their own multi-faceted relationship as bonded partners, as lovers and friends, as Mistress and slave, captain and crewmember.

Seven's blunt questions showed that despite her icy demeanour she had a better grasp on social dynamics and humanoid mating habits than she had previously let on. She left shortly before the end of Beta shift.

Kathryn and B'Elanna retired to their bedroom where the young woman was ordered to strip. The marks on her breasts were still visible but there was no swelling. So, Kathryn gently put the nipple ring back in.

"Face first on the bed, my B'El. Let's have a look at those cane marks."

Numerous welts competed for prominence on her buttocks. The firm globes were extremely swollen, to a point where wearing the snugly fitting uniform trousers the next day would be still extremely painful. It must hurt like Grethor but B'Elanna had not complained. She even had insisted on staying on the floor during their long talk with Seven.

"Stay still, B'El, this needs some healing balm. You should have said something; this should have been taken care of hours ago."

"I'm fine, Mistress. Please, leave it alone. It's what I deserve for not seeing the obvious. No one with such a smile can be without emotions even when they profess that emotions are irrelevant. I should have known."

"You know now, my love. I'll put some aloe on your behind and thighs. No, don't fret; it will just help with the swelling not with the overall pain."

"Thank you, Kathryn."

"You're welcome, benal, and just for the record, you were the one who made me see that she was more frightened then anything else and that she had just lost her whole world. You just lost sight of that for a while, and all those late night talks I had with Seven while you were still locked up and in the months since have not made it easier for you. I'm sorry for that. We should have cleared the air months ago."

B'Elanna turned her head to the side and looked at her wife with an expression as if she had just been given the decisive clue to unravel a great mystery.

"There's nothing to apologise for, my Kathryn."

For a moment Kathryn thought that her benal would now verbalise what had been on her mind all evening, instead she asked, "May I hold you tonight?"

Kathryn just stripped, slid into bed and snuggled in B'Elanna's arms, but Kathryn couldn't sleep. So, she let her mind wander.

-x-x-x-

After they had taken the Oath almost eighteen months ago Kathryn Janeway had gained an unique awareness of her mate. The counsellors and Starfleet medical probably would have a field day with them and then spend months to argue on how to describe their special connection. It wasn't telepathy and it wasn't empathy. They didn't know what the other thought or felt at a given moment but both had a general awareness about the other's mental state. Well, they didn't know what the other thought or felt except during certain extreme situations.

When Vorik had initiated the partial mind meld with B'Elanna during his Pon Farr Kathryn had known. She instinctively also had known what she should have done. She should have dragged B'Elanna off to their quarters and made love to her until the bed broke. Instead she had trusted the Doctor that his medication had worked, but soon had had to deal with B'Elanna and Tom Paris missing in an unstable mining system.

Kathryn revelled in the feeling of B'Elanna's strong arms holding her tight. The deep, even breaths told her that her beloved was deep asleep, but her mind refused to let go and once again wandered back to the moment B'Elanna and Tom had finally made it back to the surface.

Tom had been draped all over her mate, Kathryn remembered, and there had been a mark on B'Elanna's cheek that looked like a very faint bite mark. It had made her growl as much as a Human's throat is able to produce such a sound. Tuvok had heard her and commented it with his trademark raised eyebrow. Then everything had happened too fast to interfere. Vorik and B'Elanna had fought each other; B'Elanna had knocked the irrational Vulcan out, but that by far had not been the end of their troubles.

In the past the kal-if-fee, the ritual Vulcan challenge had always ended with the death of one of the contestants. Recently there had been reported incidents of both fighters leaving the fighting ring alive. The Vulcans tended to see it as a sign of their still growing mental maturity, and Tuvok had been surprised that it had not worked with Vorik or B'Elanna.

Susan Nicoletti, with the help of the doctor had offered a logical solution to Vorik's problem. Since being stranded in the Delta Quadrant Susan and Vorik had developed a strong friendship, based on mutual respect and more. When he had recognised his loss of control as a symptom of Pon Farr, Susan had actually been his first choice, but he had been afraid that she would not be strong enough to withstand the fierceness of his physical needs; so, B'Elanna had been his somewhat logical choice. Susan, however, had come up with a solution as soon as she had heard about the Pon Farr, and the Doctor had found a way to temporarily boost her physical strength without serious side effects.

B'Elanna had been a whole other problem. The Doctor's analysis of the hormones and chemical levels in her body let him deduce that B'Elanna had not suffered from Pon Farr but that the mind meld instead had put her in an advanced state of Klingon Blood Fever. It's rumoured that it drives the afflicted to try to impress their mates or prospective mates with courageous, death defying feats to prove their worthiness.

And B'Elanna's blood had been screaming for her wife, her mate. The energy crystals in her eyes, she later had told Kathryn, would have been the perfect present. The drive to find what they needed and then to return home to her beloved and make love to her until the world's end had been overwhelming. Even through the physical distance Kathryn had felt her senses sharpening and her need for B'Elanna increasing. The blood fever had been so strong that it had even affected Tom, thus the bite mark on B'Elanna's cheek. She had rejected his advances because her blood had already been boiling with need for Kathryn.

B'Elanna's body chemistry had continued to be completely off the charts. The fight with Vorik had done nothing to calm her down and Tuvok had had to stun her twice since she had been confined to sickbay. The Doctor had finally resorted to confine B'Elanna behind a level ten force field because he had been convinced that in time the Blood Fever would abate on its own.

Now, more than seven months later Kathryn could no longer explain to herself why she had listened to the Doctor instead of the cry of her own blood. If not for B'Elanna having broken out of her confinement after less than an hour the Blood Fever would have killed her or at least made her insane.

Kathryn had been in the mess hall when B'Elanna had found her. She had just put her tray on the table when B'Elanna had stormed in. Her eyes had scanned the lunch crowd as if to assert their worthiness as opponents and then had settled on her. She had rushed towards Kathryn, her expression a feral mix of aggression and lust.

She had half expected to be thrown over B'Elanna's shoulder and carried off, instead B'Elanna had stopped as if suddenly frozen in place. Kathryn had made eye contact and instantly her mind had been filled with B'Elanna's conflicted emotions, with the overwhelmingly strong biological need to mate and the learned imperative to keep her feelings firmly under control, with the need to sink to her knees and worship her Mistress and the equally strong impulse to take her and dominate her right here in the mess hall.

Kathryn instinctively had known that it would be up to her to tip the scales in either direction. So, she had taken her wife by the hand and pulled her out of the room. A site-to-site transport had deposited them in their bedroom. B'Elanna had still been warring with herself, still seemingly frozen in place. With her back to the bed Kathryn had been standing in front of her wife. She had looked into B'Elanna's eyes, silently, until she had been sure that she had her mate's full attention.

"You are mine, B'Elanna, daughter of Miral. You are my heart and my soul. You belong to me and now I will claim what is mine. Will you also claim what is yours? Will you claim my heart and my soul and my entire being? Will you take what is yours, what belongs to you?"

B'Elanna's only verbal answer had been a guttural growl coming from the back of her throat, and before Kathryn had had even the slightest chance to react B'Elanna had shredded her uniform jacket, sending her pips flying, immediately followed by the turtleneck and the bra. Her uniform trousers and panties had also not survived much longer. B'Elanna had pushed her down on the bed. She had entered her already slick centre with three fingers and started to thrust deep and hard.

When Kathryn had tried to undress her beloved in search for skin contact B'Elanna had grabbed both of her wrists and pushed them over her head. Suddenly she had found herself restrained by the cuffs that usually chained B'Elanna to the bed. B'Elanna's thrusts had become gradually more forceful but by then Kathryn's arousal had been strong enough to allow her to not only take a forth finger but her wife's whole hand.

Kathryn's orgasm had been as intense as never before. She bit down on B'Elanna's neck, hard enough to draw blood even through the thick fabric of the sweatshirt the doctor had replicated for her earlier. Simultaneously B'Elanna had also bitten her and they had renewed the Oath, just like the first time without words. They had made love for the rest of the day and most of the following night and only a red alert had forced them to leave their quarters the next day.

Thinking about this time now Kathryn had a sudden epiphany to why she lately had such trouble to sense B'Elanna's emotions. Ever since the Pon Farr or the Blood Fever they only had been captain and crewmember, Mistress and slave, but they rarely had been just friends and mates; they had not been equals. Partly that had been due to circumstances, to B'Elanna's time in the brig after the incident with the Meckirian Ambassador, the trouble with the Borg and Species 8472, the loss of Kes and Seven of Nine's integration into the crew. But to an equal degree it had been her fault. She simply had been too preoccupied with everything else to see that she was about to lose her wife and lover to the slave.

Yes, it had been the beginning of their relationship, and it was too much a part of who they were to disappear completely, but Kathryn had no intention to turn back the hands of time. So, she resolved to show B'Elanna that she still wanted and needed all of her, the fierce, dominant warrior, the lover, the wife, the slave and the friend.

-x-x-x-x-x-