Andelko Begovich was only 25 when his husband of three years died. It had been sudden and tragic, and something the man couldn't fully grasp until he was on his way to the funeral home to see his husband's face one last time. Novak, the deceased 23 year old, had been killed in a motorcycle accident. Andelko was glad to know that his husband had died almost instantly, but he was still struck with grief regardless.

The bearded Croat had loved Novak more than anything in the world, and yet, now it felt like the world had turned against him. Almost as if it had taken his husband just to give Andelko a reason to be absolutely miserable.

As Andelko drove down a desolate road towards the small funeral home, he could hardly see through the tears in his eyes. Add the pouring rain of the already gloomy day, and it was a recipe for disaster. With a slight shake of his head, he blinked a few times and let the tears fall, hoping that he would make it to his destination in one piece. Though, who was he kidding? It was as if a huge piece of him was already gone. Novak was dead. The man Andelko had dedicated so many years to, was dead.

He didn't think that anything could get worse, seeing as his young life was already falling apart at the seams. But, the Gods must have held some awful grudge against the poor Croatian man. His worn, old, decrepit vehicle sputtered to a halt, and Andelko slammed a fist on the steering wheel.

"God damn it!" The man exclaimed, voice cracking with emotion. Smoke billowed from under the hood and Andelko knew he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. He didn't even have his cell phone to call anyone, having left it at home, thinking he wouldn't need it.

He leaned against the door, sobbing, heart wrenching with an emotional pain beyond anything he thought perceivable. There were no words to express his sorrow. No explanation for everything that had taken its toll on him.

He waited for what felt like an eternity. In reality, it had only been a half hour, but it was a lonely and melancholic amount of time, with no source of comfort but the growing ache Andelko felt in his chest. Finally, someone pulled up behind him in a blue sedan. Andelko didn't even try to compose himself; he was too far gone to stop now.

A man approached the vehicle. He was short, with dark hair and eyes, as well as tanned skin. There wasn't much else Andelko could distinguish. The stranger approached Andelko's car and tapped on the window a bit to get Andelko to look to him. Andelko turned his head to the other, and then opened the door, getting out.

"Is everything okay?" The man questioned, voice soft. Andelko shook his head.

"I'm having one hell of a damn day... I-I'm on my way to the funeral home not far from here... my... m-my husband died... I-I just want to see him one last time, but fuck, everything's working against me..." The Croat explained to the best of his ability. The stranger reached and placed a warm hand delicately on Andelko's shoulder.

"I'll help you get to where you need to be... You can use my phone to call a tow truck for your-"

"I don't give a shit about this car... There's nothing in it that I care for..." Andelko interrupted. "Can you just get me to the funeral home...? P-Please, just take me to see my husband..."

The stranger nodded his head after a few seconds, ushering the broken Croatian to his vehicle. Once they were in, Andelko quietly murmured a thanks to the kind man in the driver's seat.

"It's not a problem... I'm just glad to help in your time of need... I'm very sorry for your loss. He must have been a good man..." The stranger responded, eyes kept on the road as he drove.

"He was... a-and he was the best thing to ever happen to me... I had no chance to tell him goodbye or anything..." A crying Andelko murmured.

The stranger frowned. "Can I ask how he went?"

Andelko took a shaky breath, then replied. "Motorcycle accident... he lost control and hit a building..."

"Oh... that's terrible... I'm so sorry he went like that..." The driver's sympathy only made Andelko hurt worse than he already was.

"N-No one could have stopped it..." The Croat said. He buried his face in his hands and wept quietly. The man beside him continued driving.

"Can I ask your name...?" The stranger questioned.

"Andelko... Andelko Begovich..."

"I'm Alexianos Kirzigian..."

"I'd say i-it's a pleasure to meet you, but under these curcumstances..."

"Don't worry. I understand..."

As they pulled up to the funeral home, Alexianos reached into his wallet and retrieved a business card, handing it to the Croatian man. "If you need anything at all, Andelko, give me a call."

Andelko nodded his head, saying another thanks to the other man before heading inside, shoving the business card in the pocket of his slacks and shoving every other thought out of his mind.

He walked slowly to the open casket where his husband lay. The man's lightly curled golden blonde hair seemed to shine in the dim light, and Andelko delicately brushed his fingers through the tousled locks, the way he had a thousand times when Novak was alive. How he wished he could see the man's beautiful emerald eyes once again, or that charming smile instead of this cold, pale, expressionless face. How he wished his husband was still with him.

He reached with a calloused hand and cupped his deceased lover's cheek in it, leaning down and kissing the man's forehead. "I love you, Novak... I love you..." He whispered against the lifeless skin. "You... were my world... my everything... and I promise... I will never, ever forget you... rest in peace, my love..."

He placed his lips upon the skin once again before standing upright. These were the last moments he would spend with his husband. The tears never stopped, his heart ached and ached; he felt as if he couldn't breathe, couldn't live, without his deceased lover, but he knew he had to keep going.

It was what Novak would have wanted.

...

4 1/2 Years Later

...

Andelko was now 29 years of age. He'd been working as a singer and musician in a solo project he called "Gate D17". Though his popularity came from videos he posted on the internet of music he had produced and recorded himself, he did have a growing local fan base that had started with a couple friends three years prior when he started his career. He worked part-time at a bar to fund his project, and he sometimes even received donations from friends or even strangers from the internet who wanted to help him out.

A lot of people questioned why he chose the name "Gate D17" for the name of his project; it was simple really. It had been the gate he had arrived in when he first came to the United States as a child. He had been born in Zagreb, Croatia to a family that was very loving and supportive, even when Andelko came out as gay as a teenager. The only real Hell he ever went through had been those first few months after he lost his husband.

He hadn't met anyone new in the 4 1/2 years he'd been alone, but he had recently been opening up to the idea of getting out there again. His friends were even encouraging him, including Alexianos, who Andelko had befriended soon after the kind man's assistance on the terrible day Andelko's husband was laid to rest.

Andelko, one quiet morning, was sitting in his neat apartment in the upscale district of the large city he resided in. The wood floor of the kitchen was smooth under his sock-covered feet as he leaned against the white tiled counter beside the sink, mug in hand with a fresh brew of straight black coffee residing in it. Steam rose from the liquid, and swirled in the air before disappearing in front of Andelko's bearded face. His short black hair was trimmed neatly; as was the facial hair he was so proud of. His chocolate brown eyes stared out the window above the sink, watching the cars drive by on the streets below, sun gleaming off of their roofs in the bright spring day.

The Croatian had a list of things he had to do in the day. His first task was to begin recording his vocals for a new single he was to come out with and place on the internet for all to see. It was where his main fame was, after all. He had a Facebook and a Twitter, and had four separate accounts. Two on each; one as a personal account, one as a "Gate D17" project account. He had a couple thousand followers and likers on each site, and the majority of them were excited for the new single. Andelko himself was enthused to get started.

The single was simply named "Give", and Andelko was proud of what he had done with it. He had written lyrics a few months back, and had done some experimenting with his two acoustic guitars, his keyboard, his small drum kit, and various other tidbits like violin and cello. He had made some pretty good sounding demo work, but now it was time for real production of the single, starting with his vocals, and the lyrics he had a connection to.

Andelko's voice was his gift. He was a tenor, with power in a voice that could be smooth or rough depending on how he sang, and with vibrato that wasn't overwhelming. He had always enjoyed singing, and had been perfecting his voice ever since he had started singing in high school.

As the 29 year old man took a sip of his coffee, he jumped slightly when the silence of his home was broken by the loud ringing of his cell phone. He walked to his living room where the phone resided, and picked it up, reading the contact on the screen. It was Alexianos. He held the phone to his ear and answered.

"Hey Alex."

"Morning Andelko. How're you?"

"I'm great. You?"

"I'm just wonderful. I was wondering if you'd like to come over later tonight. I'm having a sort of get together with our friends. Sadik, Tino, and Ivan said they'll come. I plan on calling and seeing if Pavla and Liz will come too."

"That sounds great. What time?"

"I was thinking around six. That alright?"

"Yeah, that's fine by me. I only had one big thing I needed to do today. Other stuff I can put off until tomorrow, because knowing how much alcohol we typically consume when we have these get togethers, I'm fairly certain that I won't be driving anywhere. Or walking for that matter, unless someone wants to find me passed out in a ditch somewhere."

Alexianos laughed. "Right. I'll see you tonight then, Andelko."

"Yeah, see you later." Andelko hung up the phone and set it aside, taking a drink of his coffee and then letting out a satisfied sigh. He walked to his recording room, which in all reality was supposed to be a guest bedroom, but he had taken it upon himself to convert it into his own little studio.

He sat down at the desk and booted up his computer, deciding to make a video to put out to his fans about his progress with the single. He adjusted his webcam and he hit record on his computer. He looked to the camera and grinned.

"Hey everyone, Andelko here. I thought I'd tell you that today I'm starting work on my new single "Give". I'll be starting the vocal tracks today, and will probably be working on them for the next few days. Expect updates every few days on my progress. Though tomorrow I may not work all too much. I'm going to a little get together at a friend's house, and I'm fairly certain there will be alcohol consumed. I'll probably pass out until noon tomorrow, have a terrible hangover, come home, and nurse some migraines and severe nausea. So, yeah. I expect the single to be done within the next two weeks, depending on how much I can get done. I'm hoping you guys will like it. Now, time to get to work."

He flashed a smile at the camera before ending the recording. He uploaded it on his channel on YouTube, and posted links to both his Facebook and Twitter accounts so that it got around to his fans. He then got set up to record his vocals, setting up his microphone and speaking to start off the lyrics for the song.

"… There's always something to give… and often times there's nothing to get in return, but a smile on someone's face, and maybe a pocket emptied of change. But that feeling you get in your heart? That's something you can only get, when you give."

He began to sing, voice powerful and moving.

"Just give it; what's your motive?

Feeling so bleak; too much to tow in,

Find it in your heart when you own it,

Open up your mind and just give it!

Concentrated away, too much to think about,

What's it like to have nothing to worry about?

Think there's more to you than what's there to see,

Whoa-oh, there's got to be more for you to be!

Yeah, just give! Give what you can before you can't give any more,

Give and you may get,

Give and you may get everything you've asked for,

That little feeling,

That little feeling deep in your core,

Just give it!"

He paused, tapping his foot to what he knew was the beat of the song. He had no need of a metronome; he knew his song very well. He then began to sing again.

"Just give it; don't waste your time on yourself,

So hollow, so hollow, you heartless bitch,

You think your body defines who you are,

But what really defines you is what's in your god damn heart!

Concentrated on when you will next get paid,

So you can get a man and just get laid,

What's it like to have nothing real to worry about?

Whoa-oh, there's got to be something more for you to be!

Yeah, just give! Give what you can before you can't give any more,

Give and you may get,

Give and you may get everything you've asked for,

That little feeling,

That little feeling deep in your core,

Just give it!

Whoa, just give! Give all you can before you meet your end,

Give and you may get,

Give and you may get what you're asking for,

That little feeling,

Significant enough to not have been felt before,

Whoa, you know how to settle the score,

You know how to settle the score,

Just give it!"

He stopped the recording and sat back down in his chair, listening to it through a pair of headphones. He pinpointed what he needed to work on and wrote it down on a piece of paper.

Andelko worked for the day on his vocal tracks, refining and perfecting them until they sounded just right, and piecing the different tracks together. He wasn't anywhere near done, but he had most of the actual singing done. He just needed to complete arranging the tracks correctly, add some effects, and then he would be done. The he would have to start on the music.

He glanced at his watch and stood; it was five-thirty, time for him to head to Alexianos'.

Andelko got himself ready and then headed out, driving to his good friend's home. Alexianos had been an amazing person ever since they had met all those years ago when Andelko's husband had died. Not much had changed about Alex, other than a patch of facial hair the man had grown on his chin. Though Andelko could say that he himself hadn't changed much physically since he met Alexianos, mentally, he had changed for sure. He had moved on from the loss of his husband, though every month he made sure to take a trip to the cemetery to visit his first love's grave. He could say he was more matured as well.

When he arrived at the modest home of his Armenian friend, he parked in the driveway and got out of his car, walking up to the front door. He rapped his knuckled on the white-painted entryway, and waited for a few moments. The door was opened to reveal a smiling Alexianos. The tan-skinned man looked very nice, dressed in a pair of black jeans and a blue button-up.

"Hey Andelko, come on in." He said. Andelko smiled and entered the home, toeing off his shoes by the half-organized pile of footwear that already sat at the wall by the door.

"How've you been, Alex?" Andelko asked as Alexianos shut the door.

"Pretty good. I'm off work all weekend. How's the new song coming along?" Alex replied, smiling and walking to the kitchen. Andelko followed, smiling at the other guests who were there. Alexianos' hospital coworkers Sadik, Tino, and Pavla were standing around, chatting. When Andelko walked in, Pavla hugged him, a smile on her face.

"I'm looking forward to the new song, Andelko." She said, patting his shoulder and then returning to her spot next to Sadik. "How're the vocals coming?"

"Great, actually. I got more done today than I thought I would." Andelko replied, leaning against the kitchen counter. Alexianos handed him a beer, and the Croatian accepted it with a grin.

"That's good to hear. I'm still shocked you haven't gotten into a band or anything like that. You're an incredible vocalist, Andelko." Alex complimented, taking a drink of his own beer as Andelko opened the one the Armenian had just given him.

"Thanks. I don't know about being in a band; I get a lot of comments and feedback on how I should, but then I think to all the bands that just dissolve almost as soon as they start, and then there's the bands with the one or two guys that get the other members in a whole bunch of trouble and make it so the others have a bad reputation… I don't think I'd be any trouble in a band, but I'm better off a solo artist for now."

"That makes sense." Sadik replied. "You're playing it safe. That's a good thing, in most cases. You aren't making too much of a profit, though, just selling your stuff online. ITunes can only give you so much. You ever thought of getting an album in stores?"

Andelko shrugged. "I like the idea, but I don't even know where to start. I'd need a record label and whatnot… Hell, I'd have to make an entirely new album to impress the label and see if they'll even sign me. I've been working as a solo artist since I got out of high school like ten years ago. I'm so used to it. And besides, my fans enjoy my daily updates and whatnot. They like the singularity of my work."

"Speaking of singularity," Tino cut in. "Anyone been on any dates recently?"

Sadik laughed. "I'm married to my job, Tino. I don't have the time to date anyone."

"I actually went on a date with Feliciano last week." Pavla replied, grinning. "We're actually going to go out again next week. He's a nice guy."

"Oh yeah, I remember. You ran around the ER with a dumbass smile on your face the day after that date. You walked into a patient's room smiling for no reason; I bet half of them thought you were psychopathic, Pavla." Tino teased, prodding a finger at Pavla's ribs. "What about you two? Any dates?" The Finnish nurse looked to Alexianos and Andelko, who exchanged glances, then laughed.

"Yeah, no." Alex said. "I think I may be too picky with my men. I only find a few people attractive in this world, and they're either way out of my league, don't know of my existence, or are straight."

"What're your preferences?" Pavla asked curiously.

"If I tell you, you'll think I'm obsessive over a possible partner's qualities."

"Well, we won't know what I think until you tell me, so… shoot."

Alexianos sighed heavily and took a drink of his beer before speaking.

"Well, first things first, I don't want them to be like Sadik and be married to their job. I want them to have some free time… and I don't care how often we'd go out, just as long as we do on occasion. All that basic stuff like being kind and whatnot… and I want someone not afraid to show affection. Not a whole ton, but just a little peck on the cheek here and there or some hand-holding, you know?"

"Okay, so basically someone with a nice personality and some time on their hands for you. What about looks? Anything specific?" Pavla questioned.

"Well… Tall, for one. Not like, seven feet, but at least a little taller than me… maybe some muscle, a bit of hair on their body… God, you make me feel like some kind of pervert or something, listing off what I find attractive in men." Alexianos chuckled, a light blush on his cheeks.

Pavla thought for a moment, her gaze slowly shifting to Andelko, a smirk appearing on her sharp features. Andelko raised his eyebrows in silent questioning of her look.

"Uh… What're you thinking, Pavla?" He asked.

"My exquisite mind… has made a connection." Pavla grinned, brushing a hand through her brown hair. "You and Alexianos here make a perfect match."

Alexianos and Andelko looked to each other, both men's cheeks tinted a light red. Pavla laughed.

"You can't honestly tell me that one of you has never thought of the other as a possible guy to date."

Alexianos looked down to hide his blushing face, a signal to Andelko that the Armenian man had in fact thought of it. Andelko was flattered, but he wasn't too sure what to do with the situation. He had known Alexianos for quite some time now, and could easily warm up to the idea of a few dates with the other man, but part of him was apprehensive. Was it really time for him to try for someone new? He contemplated silently, bringing a fingernail to his teeth out of nervous habit.

Then, he glanced to Alexianos, muttering quietly, still chewing on his nail. "Well… I could give it a try…"

Alexianos looked to him in a bit of shock, or perhaps disbelief. "… What…?" He asked, as if needing clarification of what he just heard. Andelko brought his hand away from his mouth, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I could give it a try. Go on a date with you, Alex… It wouldn't be so bad. And even if things don't work their way into a relationship, we can easily be friends, just as we have been for the past four and a half years." This was more confident than Andelko had sounded in years. Even to himself, this came as a bit of a shock. He glanced to Pavla, who was having trouble keeping an excited grin at bay, a hand over her mouth. He then turned his gaze back to Alexianos, who was red-faced, though there was a hopeful glint in his hazel eyes. Alex turned those captivating orbs to Andelko and smiled, nodding slightly.

"Sounds good… How about this Saturday we go out? I'll pick you up… say… around five-thirty?" The Armenian's words were quiet out of slight embarrassment and nervousness, but Andelko grinned.

"Sure. Now that that's done…" Andelko took a drink of his beer. "Let's get wasted."

Alexianos laughed. "You have the mindset of a twenty-one year old college student when you're around alcohol, you know that, Andelko?"

"At least I'm not half as lightweight as you and Pavla." Andelko snickered, receiving a playful punch on the arm from Pavla. She and Alexianos would likely be the first two passed out from heavy amounts of alcohol, while Sadik and Andelko would last a bit longer, and then Tino would be the last man standing, assuming Ivan didn't show up. Then those two would drink all of the alcohol in Alexianos' house, drunk drive to the nearest convenient store to buy more alcohol, and return to Alexianos' to continue to drink and attempt to see who could drink the most. Not good decisions, quite frankly.

It had happened before, and neither Tino nor Ivan left their homes for four nights after the ordeal. Alexianos had actually been so worried about the two that he had gone over to each of their houses to check on them. The results concluded in severe hangovers. Tino spent most of his time in bed, while Ivan spent most of his time on the bathroom floor. That was just the way things went.

As for Andelko waking up after a night of drinking; he usually found himself on some piece of furniture in some really uncomfortable position, with a severe headache and some nausea from hell. He knew he would be leaving Alex's feeling terrible, but hey, as long as no one got hurt, he was fine with that.

...

...

...

And lo and behold, the morning after, Andelko awoke in a chair at the kitchen table, head rested on one arm on the table, the other still holding a beer, which the Croatian let go of quickly in favor of rushing to the bathroom and spilling the contents of his stomach into the toilet. He felt like absolute hell. But what did he expect after a night like he had? He couldn't remember a thing past his fourth bottle of beer.

When he knew he wasn't going to throw up anymore, he stumbled his way out of the bathroom, noting that he was probably the first one awake. Pavla was passed out on the couch, Sadik was on the floor next to the couch, and Tino and Ivan were in two of the chairs at the kitchen table. Andelko couldn't even remember when Ivan had gotten there, so the Russian must've arrived when Andelko was already drunk off his rocker.

Andelko didn't see Alexianos anywhere in the living room or kitchen, so the Armenian man must've passed out somewhere else. By some miracle, maybe the man made it to his bed. That was good, because Alexianos typically was the worst with recovering from hangovers, and waking up in his bed may have fared him better than if he had woken up at a kitchen table or passed out on the floor.

If there was one thing Andelko could remember from the previous night, it was Pavla getting him and Alexianos to agree to go on a date Saturday.

For some reason, Andelko's chest tightened at the thought. Was he really ready for something like that? Was he really ready to date again?

He shook his head, as if to clear the negativity from his mind.

He could do this. He could date Alexianos. It had been four and a half years since Novak had died. Surely, it was enough time. He had given himself plenty of time to recover and get back to leading a normal life. And now that everything was back to something of a norm, it was time to test the waters of something new.

Of someone new.