The first memory is always the worst. Everybody says it, and I wholeheartedly agree. But I had never felt one like this.

I'm gasping. My boots clang on the metal floor. I don't know if the Doctor is still behind me, and I don't dare turn around. Footsteps ring above me, a trooping of tapping feet. I grit my teeth and force my legs to move faster.

"Martha, run!" The Doctor shrieks, and I hear the humming of his screwdriver. I don't know where he is. A gunshot sounds above somewhere behind me, and I stiffen in horror as a loud thump echoes eerily.

"Doctor!" I howl. He doesn't answer, and horror blurs my vision. I let out a screeching wail, a sound of pure loss, and stagger through the next door. The stairs seem to shift beneath my feet, and I lurch into an airy, spacious room. The Doctor's body lies on the floor, blood oozing slowly out from beneath him. A cry contorts my lips and I crumple to my knees.

"Doctor," I moan, stroking his ever-rumpled hair. "Doctor, oh, Doctor no. No, no, no." I'm weeping, the sobs tearing out of me. I brush my hands over my cheeks. When I raise my head, I hear them.

"Please come out. We don't want to hurt you. Please let us help you." Rage turns everything around me bloodred, and my heartbeat bangs loudly in my ears. Unconsciously, my hand goes to the gun, the gun that I promised the Doctor I would never use. I can feel myself shaking with anger. My heart throbs, painfully. I stand, dragging myself towards the door. Slowly, I raise the gun, and when an alien appears, silver eyes glowing, I fire. Blood blooms in the center of his chest and he falls and I am running, past him and down the hall, down the stairs. A gunshot reports behind me and pain tears through me, and I think that my heart really is breaking over the Doctor until I look down and see the crimson flow blossoming over my heart. I wobble through the building, my legs shuddering frantically like quaking aspen leaves. I reel into a closet, lock the door with fumbling fingers.

The gun slips from my hand, and I give one last heave of my blood-slick chest. I won, I won. I'll see my Doctor. I can hear the aliens searching, and it brings a grim smile to my lips. I win, I won. I will die before they find me. Doctor, will I see you now?

I woke with a cry. The machines around me reacted automatically, registering my crashing heartbeat. "Ashes in the Wind, wake up." Someone spoke. It was a soft, slow voice. My brain scrambled. Ashes in the Wind, was that my name? Yes, yes it had to be. I remembered my last planet. It was a brutal, barbaric world, with flowers and flames. My eyes fluttered open. There was a woman leaning over me, eyes wide and concerned. I struggled to remember how to speak. The language of this host was clipped, sharp. So unlike my last language, which was flowing, sinuous. There it was! Language. I opened my mouth, the new spice of this language pooling on my tongue.

"Hello?" I said cautiously. She smiled, and the corners of her eyes crinkled.

"Hello, Ashes in the Wind, I am Sunlight on Ice. I am your Healer. Do you feel any pain?" I shook my head.

"Do you require any assistance in questioning her?" A female voice spoke from the corner of the room. Her voice was even cooler than the other affectations of this language, fast and deadly sharp. Wincing at a crick in my neck, I twisted to look at her, and she matched my gaze with blue irises, with their characteristic ring of silver. The Healer shot her a look of deep dislike and gently fastened her hand around my left bicep.

"She has just woken up, Seeker. I am not going to interrogate her when she is just getting used to this human body." Delicately she helped me into a sitting position, and I swung my legs gingerly over the table, pressing down on the floor with my-feet? Yes, feet.

"Oh, do be careful!" The Healer gripped me tighter. "You're just getting used to this body; you might not want to walk just yet." I nodded shakily and took a deep breath. How strange was the respiratory system of this body!

"I assume you wish to know the memories of this human, Seeker." Coolly, she inclined her head, pale hair swinging. I sighed. "Her name is Martha Jones. She was born in Great Britain and grew up there. She studied to be a medical student. When she was twenty-four, she-" I frowned. When I reached for the memories, I met a resistance, a little like a smooth, flat wall. I pressed against it, driving as hard as I could, and it gave somewhat, releasing a flood of memory.

I'm in a hospital, staring out at the moon in shock. How is this possible? I'm on the bloody moon! I was in the hospital, and now I'm on the moon!

"It's real! It's really real! Hold on." I reach for the window, and Julia grabs my arm.

"Don't! We'll lose all the air!"

"But they're not exactly airtight. If the air was gonna get sucked out it would have happened straight away, but it didn't." I stare around. It takes a minute for me to realize that I'm not terrified; I'm thrilled. "So how come?" There's a sound behind me, and I turn to see the patient-John Smith-fixing his jacket.

"Very good point. Brilliant, in fact. Sorry, what was your name?"

"Martha."

And it was Jones, wasn't it?" I nod very slightly. "Well then Martha Jones. The question is; how are we still breathing?" I stare at him curiously, but he doesn't notice my puzzlement. Instead, he rushes over to the windows and starts fiddling with them.

"But we can't be," Julia moans.

"Except we are, so don't waste my time." I glance at John Smith, and abruptly notice that he is rather attractive, in a rather geeky kind of way.

Stop it! A voice wailed in my head. That is not yours! A mental jolt shot through me.

"Ashes in the Wind, are you all right?" The Healer was looking concerned, thin lines forming between her pale eyebrows. I bobbed my head unsteadily, still processing. Who was the voice in my head? Could it be-my host? I'm still here . . . I jerk, fingers spasming in thin air.

"Yes, yes I'm fine." The Seeker was tapping her foot, irritated. "Oh, sorry. Um . . ." Again, I reach for the memories. And again I am shoved out. "When she was twenty-four, she met a man named . . ." Furious, I push in the direction of the memories.

"I promise you, Mr. Smith, we will find a way out. If we can travel to the moon then we can travel back." I sigh. "There's got to be a way."

He wanders back towards the door. "It's not Smith. That's not my real name."

I turn slightly. "Who are you then?"

He stares at me. "I'm the Doctor."

My gaze returns to the moonscape. "Me too, if I could pass my exams." I laugh softly, twist to look at him. "What is it then, Doctor Smith?"

He walks past me. "Just the Doctor."

"How do you mean; just the Doctor."

He glances at me, wide-eyed. "Just-the Doctor."

My eyes roll towards the sky. This is getting ridiculous. "What, people call you 'the Doctor'?"

"Yeah."

"The Doctor," I breathed. "His name was the Doctor."

The Seeker glared at me. "Doctor who?" Inexplicably, laughter bubbled from my throat. I choked it off, terrified. The laughter was not mine. Pain erupted on the right side of my face, bright and sharp. My head snapped around. Through my watery eyes, I saw the Seeker backing away, her hand turning bright red. Blood rested on my tongue, heavy and metallic from my split lip. She had slapped me.

"Seeker!" The Healer sounded shocked. "There is no need for that!" The Seeker turned on her, snarling, and I didn't think. I reacted.

My foot lashed out and drove deeply into the Seeker's ankle, knocking her off balance. When she rounded on me, I forced my elbow into her chest.

"Stop!" The Healer wailed, but rage was running through my veins like the fires of my last world, and I shoved the Seeker into the table I had been lying on. "Please!" The Healer cried. This stopped me, and the Seeker and I both froze, she on the floor clutching her shoulder, and I rubbing my cheek, my free hand clenched into a fist. "What is wrong with the pair of you?" Healer Ice gasped, horror clear on her face. And I saw how unusual this must have looked to her. Most souls were peaceful by nature; they wouldn't even hurt a fly. But I had always been different, which was what made me an apt choice for the Fire World.

"I am sorry, Healer. I was emotionally overwrought and she startled me." The Healer shook her head, aghast, and quickly tended to my wounded cheek, applying Heal as fast as she could. She then went to the Seeker, who staggered to her feet and shot me an evil glare.

"You're just like her." She spit out and made for the door.

"Like who?"

Her expression was full of hatred. "Wanderer." She flung herself out of the room, and I was left standing there, uncertain for the first time, in my new skin.

"Ashes in the Wind? Are you all right?"

I breathed in. "Call me Ash."