It's been awhile, I know. Life's been crazy, I was stuck on where to go with this chapter, and overall I was dealing with a bad case of writer's block. To all of you still reading this story and sticking with me, thank you. To all the new readers hopping aboard, I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 30

"Morning Lanie." Beckett said, walking up to the medical examiner crouched over the body.

"Hey girl. Oh, and look who you brought with you. How you doing writer-boy?"

"I'm good Lanie. How are you?"

"Better than this one." She said, pointing down to the dead body.

"What've we got?" Beckett said, getting into detective mode.

"Female vic, I'd say between 25 and 30. No ID found on the body. Cause of death is asphyxiation; notice the petechial hemorrhaging around the eyes. Ligature marks on her neck suggest the killer used a belt or something similar. As for TOD, I'd say between 2 and 3 a.m. last night. Three broken nails indicate signs of a struggle. When I get her back to the morgue I'll check under her nails for fibers and skin."

"Thanks Lanie." Beckett said as she stood up.

"No problem girl, oh and Castle?"

"Yeah?" He responded uncertainly.

"Welcome to the team."

The grin that lit up his face was enough to melt Kate's insides. She mouthed a thank you to Lanie.

"C'mon Castle, let's find the boys and see what they have."

"Yo, Beckett."

"Hey Espo, what've you got?"

"Canvas turned up a lot of nothing. Still no ID on the vic, but we're hoping when we run her prints something will pop."

"Alright, Castle and I will head back to the station, get the murder board set up."

By the time Castle and Beckett left the station that night, it was almost 10 p.m.. They drove in comfortable silence back to the loft, with Kate's fingers intertwined among Rick's.

"So, what did you think of today?" Beckett said glancing over to Castle as they sat stopped at red light.

He looked over at her and grinned. "My fingers are itching to write. It's one thing to imagine you in action, but actually seeing it? It's extraordinary."

Beckett couldn't keep the grin off of her face.

When the pair finally got to the loft, Castle headed for his office to do some much needed writing while Beckett headed to his bathroom for a nice, relaxing, bubble bath.

An hour later, Kate stepped out of the bathroom wearing one of Rick's t-shirts and her hair thrown into a messy bun.

She could hear the keys of the keyboard clicking as Castle continued to type away in his office.

Padding into his office, she found him completely emerged in his writing, his fingers flying furiously across the keyboard. Not wanting to disturb him, she grabbed one of his novels from the shelf and settled herself down on the plush sofa.

Half an hour later and two chapters in on her book, the typing finally ceased. Castle closed his laptop, leaning back around his and yawning.

"Better?" Kate said, smiling softly.

"Much. My brain can finally rest."

She grinned, standing up and walking over to him. "Let's head to bed. It's been a long day."

Castle stood, placing a sweet kiss on her head and guiding her into the bedroom. Both were too exhausted for anything more than a few kisses before they were both fast asleep.

The next two weeks brought about the same enthusiasm Castle had from the beginning of the first case. His fingers constantly itched to write, the flow of words throughout his brain never ceasing. Although being at the precinct was a big distraction, he missed Alexis. He still talked to her on the phone, but it just wasn't the same.

Though things had been going well overall, this day had been particularly harder.

Castle and Beckett had caught a new case that morning, a young girl around Alexis's age. She was shot in an alley, left alone to die. Seeing the young woman's lifeless eyes had been too much for Castle. He'd tried to shake it off, but Kate could see through him. She'd pulled him into the breakroom shortly after they had updated the murder board and told him to go home. He didn't need to see that. Normally, he'd disagree; tough it out. But looking at that girl, he couldn't help but picture Alexis. Beckett squeezed his hand and gave him a kiss on the cheek, saying she'd stop by the loft after work. He nodded his head, kissed her temple, and left the precinct to hail a cab home.

For the remainder of the day he wondered aimlessly around the house. Castle had tried writing when he first got home, but his mind was blank. The flow of words had stopped. He'd tried calling Alexis too, hoping the sound of her voice would reassure him. The call went to voicemail after several rings, and after leaving a short message, Castle hung up. Waiting an hour before trying again and once again receiving the same voicemail alert, he sighed in disappointment.

The hours slowly rolled on, and Castle willed the time to go by so Kate could be with him. A part of him was happy for the space; time to think. But another part of him dreaded the isolation; hated the thoughts swirling around in his brain. He began to overanalyze, putting not only Alexis in the young girl's place, but Kate as well. When nine o'clock rolled around and there was still no sign of Beckett, he tried calling her, only to have it go to voicemail. Deciding he'd had enough of being cooped up in the loft all day, he grabbed his wallet and keys and headed for the precinct.

When he arrived, the bullpen was relatively quiet. A few detectives mulled around, filling out paperwork or shutting down their computers and heading home after the long day. Castle quickly spotted Beckett sitting at her desk, head hunched over a file, completely focused. Walking over quietly, as so not to disturb her, he sat down in his chair. She was so zoned in on what she was doing, Beckett didn't even notice him immediately. Her concentration was finally broken by the sound of another officer dropping a book on the ground. She was shocked to see him sitting there, unnoticed for who knows how long.

"Castle! Wha-? When did you get here?" Kate said, glancing around, as if finally breaking out of the trance she'd been in.

"About fifteen minutes or so. You seemed engrossed in the file and I didn't want to disturb you." He replied.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't even realize…" she said, shaking her head. "But anyways, what are you doing here? I sent you home, I didn't want you to have to deal with this."

"I know, I know. I just needed to get out of the loft. The solitude was driving me crazy. I tried writing, but I couldn't do it. I called Alexis several times, but she never answered and hasn't returned any of my calls. Being cooped up in there, left to my thoughts, I just couldn't do it anymore. I tried calling you, but you didn't answer. I figured you were busy with the case still, so I just decided to come down here." Castle said, shrugging self-consciously.

"I'm sorry, I must've forgot to take my phone off of silent after my interview earlier." Kate said, picking up her cell and glancing at the screen. Her eyes widened when she saw the time. "Oh god, it's after 9:30, I didn't even know. Babe I am so sorry…" She said, looking at him apologetically.

Castle waved her off. "Don't worry about it, I knew you were still here working on the case. I came down here because I just wanted to see you."

"Well I think I've had enough of this case for today. We have no leads right now anyways, and lab results won't be in until tomorrow. What do you say we get out of here, maybe head back to my place?"

Castle nodded eagerly, helping Kate gather her things. Sensing how much this day had really affected him, she quickly sidled up to him, looping her arm through his and heading for the elevators. Once inside, she wrapped her arm around his waist, pulling herself even closer. Kate sighed, giving his neck a kiss. Castle squeezed her hip and pulled her outside, ushering her to the car.

The ride back to Beckett's apartment was silent, neither of them knowing what to talk about.

Once they were finally inside, Kate shed her heels and work clothes, heading into her bedroom to change into something more comfortable. Coming back into the living room, she found Castle sitting on the couch, his shoulders slumped. Not hesitating, she walked over to him and quickly snuggled up to his side.

"You wanna talk about it?" She said after a few moments of silence.

"Not really." Castle said, shaking his head.

He had yet to hear from Alexis, and it was starting to get to him. Rick hadn't heard from his daughter since yesterday morning. She'd called, saying how busy she's been. Her and Meredith had been exploring L.A. nonstop for the past couple of weeks; Alexis talking on and on about how much fun she was having. A part of him was so happy that his baby girl was experiencing all of this and finally spending some quality time with her mother. Another part of him though, missed her greatly, and couldn't help but wonder if she missed him as well.

What if she doesn't want to come back?

The little traitorous voice inside his head spoke.

What if this becomes a regular thing; her spending summers there.

Castle was brought out of his musings by a hand gently stroking through his hair.

"Talk to me babe. Tell me what's going on." Kate said softly.

He sighed, burying his face in her neck briefly, reveling in the comfort it brought. Pulling back, Castle looked at her.

"Seeing that girl today…I just couldn't help but think about Alexis. If something happened to her…" He said, shaking his head.

Before Kate could try and reassure him, he continued.

"These past couple weeks, it seems like we've hardly talked. She's been in California will Meredith, as busy as ever. I'm so happy that she's having such a good time, but a part of me can't help but wonder if this is going to become something that happens more frequently. What if she decides to do this every summer? What if it goes so well that she decides she wants to stay in California; move in with her mother? I can't handle that Kate. I can't handle her not being here. It's only been two weeks and I'm already starting to go crazy." He rambled on, not pausing to take a breath. "But it's not just that either. Seeing that girl today, lying there, bled out in that alley…my mind just drifted. When I was home all afternoon, I kept thinking about it. My brain started picturing Alexis lying there, and there was nothing I could do. Then if that wasn't enough, I began to picture you there. I know what you do is dangerous, and that you've gotten hurt before. Kate you mean so much to me. If anything ever happened to you…"

"Hey, hey, hey." Beckett soothed, interrupting him. "Nothing's going to happen to me. Yes, my job is dangerous, but I can handle myself. Besides that, I also have the boys watching my back…and now I have you too. You can't focus on the 'what ifs' Rick, they'll eat you alive. Everyone's going to be ok. You, me, Alexis…we're all going to be fine. I know that her being in California is hard on you. I want to reassure you, tell you that this is a one-time thing, that she'll be back soon and never leave…but I can't. No one knows what the future will hold. But whatever Alexis decides, she will always be your little girl. She's growing up though, and I know that's scary, but you have to let her find her own way…even if it's in California. Don't ever doubt how much she loves you though, or how great of a father you are. No matter what happens, I'll be here. I know a lot is going on right now, but I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me babe."

Castle smiled, cupping her face between his hands, leaning in to give her a hard kiss. After a few seconds he pulled back, resting his forehead against hers.

"And I thought I was the wordsmith. You're extraordinary, Katherine Beckett. Do you know that?" He sighed.

Kate laughed, leaning in to give him another kiss, running her fingers through his hair.

"I mean it." She said, looking into his eyes seriously. "I love you, Rick. You mean the world to me, and I will do everything I can to make sure you're happy and safe. The same goes for Alexis too. I know this is all going so fast. I've never felt like this about anyone before. Normally, I'd be running for the hills; having one foot always out the door. But with you Castle, it feels so right. For the first time since my mom died, I don't feel this emptiness inside me. It sounds cheesy, but it's true. You make me so happy. I can't remember the last time I laughed this much or felt this safe. And never in my life have I felt so loved." Kate said, blinking back the sudden tears.

Castle smoothed his thumb gently along her cheek, looking at the woman in front of him with so much love he was ready to burst.

"God Kate, I can't even begin to describe my feelings for you. I'm a writer, but I don't think I could ever do it justice." He said, shaking his head.

Rick leaned in to give her a few more kisses, each getting more heated than the last. Finally pulling back, they both took a minute to catch their breaths.

"What do you say we head to bed?" Kate said, standing up and tugging Castle's hand.

"But I'm not even tired yet." Rick whined, still thinking about the kisses they just shared.

Kate bit her lip, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Who said anything about sleeping?"

There you have it, the end of chapter 30. There's still plenty more to come.

Reviews are greatly appreciated, and if you have any suggestions, comments, or things you'd like to see in the future let me know. I'm trying to decide whether or not I should do a time jump in the story. Thoughts?

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

-S