Disclaimers: Don't and can't own G-Gundam and its characters. I wish I owned George, though. ^__~
Notes: Sequel to 'What Was Mine Is', though told in a different POV. Thanks to those who reviewed—this is for you. I've finally hauled my @$$ from procrastinating… I had actually planned it to be just a one-shot, since it was set in the timeline of the series, and we all knew what happened afterwards. But well, I'm privy to a few choice words and 'please' is simply just one of them… So this is for all those who did not manage to fall asleep while reading my fics… Thanks, you guys!
What Was Mine Is
ACT Two
Darkness stared back at her.
She couldn't see anything else, couldn't think of anything else.
The void of nothingness took away everything she was, everything she had…everything she loved…
*You don't deserve it. You don't deserve him.*
The voices had stopped, considerably, since she found herself in this…chasm. But when it spoke, albeit it was occasional now, it was about…him…her failure…them being together by her own doing…
Not that it mattered. She was dead anyway.
*You left him. You left him, you wallowing in your misery over him, while he was wallowing in misery over her…*
The clench in her chest, where her heart, she supposed, was supposed to be, was familiar. Familiar, but it didn't mean it did not hurt.
It hurt. It hurt a lot. It hurt like hell, as a matter of fact.
But the dead aren't supposed to feel, right? Or are they?
*You're not dead, because I'm not. This just a place worse than…death itself. I let you what I want you to see. I let you feel what I want you to feel.*
And at that time, she couldn't feel anything else but bitterness. Couldn't feel anything else the blackness did not want her to feel.
'He cared for me…somehow…'She could almost hear the mocking laughter. Were the voices just a figment of her imagination, or was that really herself, ridiculing her at her inanity?
*Really?* The voices were sneering. *How, exactly, did he care for you? I don't recall a single moment he did. He always did something for the welfare of…his own. And for her, didn't he?*
Her misery was eating her, gnawing at what was left of her heart. 'No! There were times…when he arrived in the finals…when he came out of the Gundam…'
*If I recall correctly, you put your arms around him, not the other way around.*
'But he didn't push me away!' In her mind, she was replaying the scene with vivid imagination. She whispered at herself, 'He didn't push me away…'
*Of course you'd read more in that…can you even call it a gesture? What about whenever that girl touched him…he always reciprocated, even if it was just a slight meeting of skin against skin--*
'No!' She shook her head, pushing away the images that were coming to life before her. She wished with all her might the blackness to surround her again…anything except the scenes playing before her… 'They never touched like that! Never!'
*And how sure are you? Just as sure as the sky is blue in the morning and black in the evening? Were you always there, with him?*
The images were becoming more and more…real. She could hear them, make out what they were saying…she could almost feel herself with them…only…only she knew she was not there.
Only, she knew she was in a place where she could never reach them.
A place where they could not reach her.
*Would they even want to reach you? What makes you think that they'd come over and seek you out? Who are you in their lives? Who are you in his life?*
A small whimper escaped her. Who was she, in their lives, particularly, his?
Their faces danced before her, as real and alive as she had known them. First, was Chibodee's, with his trademark grin. Cautiously, she took a step forward. She saw his grim turn to a full-pledged smile.
"Chibodee?"
The vision of Chibodee ran towards her, and as he did, his features changed into Sai Cici's, into Argo's…her brows furrowed in confusion. What was happening? Suddenly there were three people before her.
"Sai Cici? Argo? Chibodee?"
When they were near her enough, they walked past her. 'No,' She thought with horror as she let the fact sink in. 'They walked through me. They walked through me…'
*You are nothing in their lives, Rain Mikamura. Nothing. No one.*
'No…' But even to her, her voice sounded weak, and the doubt was imminent.
*So you see, Rain? You belong here. You are fated to be here, with me…*
'To be with you is to be nothing.' Was her flat answer. She felt the chilling of the blood on her veins, if that was possible, and the resigned acceptance in her heart.
When the voices spoke again, it seemed to be…smiling?
*Yes. To be nothing. But you don't have to be nothing, Rain. You already are.*
'I don't know…how could they just forget me like that? Like I was…'
*A piece of trash that served it use and whose value has turned to degradingly nothing?*
Something in her clenched painfully tight, but it didn't hurt as much, now. She was actually nursing it, almost relishing the feeling.
'He said he…'
*Who? This excuse of a fighter?*
In her peripheral vision was the face of George de Sand, looking the way he did when he told him he loved her.1
*He said he loved you, didn't he?*
She nodded in affirmative compromise.
*He did, you know. Loved you.*
She looked up, heart in throat. He—
*Don't get carried away. I said, he did love you.*
All the hope building came crashing back. The words echoed in her mind. Numbly, she knew she was being corrupted, and that she was giving in. It hardly mattered, and this time, though she knew she was not dead, she didn't care. Her life, or what she deemed it to be, was nothing but hopeless fantasies.
*He still does, in his own way, but his duties are more important than you are.*
Silence reigned in both her and the voices' part.
It moved in for the kill.
*And right now, his duty is to the Princess of his country.*
She wanted to cry, to drown herself in her misery, but she found that she couldn't. That she was resisting to wither…and that in place of the regret, the acrimony, the desire for vengeance, for hatred, was growing.
*Just like your Domon is fulfilling his duties as a…friend to…*
'Stop it.' She didn't want to hear her name. Not hers, of all people. She felt like she was going to explode with everything that she was feeling. She didn't need her helping.
*Allenby.*
Her eyes drifted shut as she felt herself giving in, totally, completely, to the void that surrounded her.
And after that she felt nothing…nothing else at all.
1—Bear with me, but George de Sand never did say that he loved Rain Mikamura. But this fic assumes two things, in total. First, that George has told Rain how he felt, and second, that the Devil Gundam was using the hatred of every of its victims as its own power. Don't ask me why but I just made it so for the fic. Again, it is just a wild shot at tying the series with the fic.
Added notes: The fic takes place after Rain was, well, consumed by the Devil Gundam, and somewhere when everyone on earth was thinking what's happening to Rain. I'm sorry but I'm not an expert with the episodes, just enough so that I can sorta squeeze these in betweens. =^__^=
Anyway, thanks again for reading!
Constructive Criticism would be greatly, believe me, appreciated.