Disclaimer: Nothing is mine and I own nothing.

Author's Note: M for language and sexual situations that are mentioned.

To say that Lucifer was pissed was an understatement. Returning back to Hell, seething with rage and without the soul of John Constantine in tow was not way he thought his day would end.

He had started off the day with a round of torturing a fresh batch of sinners that had damned themselves through their greed and for other crimes that really weren't that important in Hell, but that cost them their ticket to go through the pearly gates.

Lucifer usually had time to check up on John Constantine and watch his favorite little toy squirm and beg the oh-so Holy One for forgiveness but there were some anomalies through Hell that kept him busy. There seemed to have been some whispers traveling among the demons relating to matters on Earth that normally would not have interested Lucifer but he had to take care of business, nonetheless, to ensure that his realm was functioning at tip-top shape. It would not do for there to be chaos and for God to somehow gain the upper hand. Though how He would do that was scoff-worthy since Satan knew everything that happened in his domain.

So as he ruled over his kingdom of fire and brimstone with an iron fist and a smile that oozed of deceit and damnation, he was alerted to news that set his black heart a-fluttering with joy and the chuckle that left his throat resonated through his realm like thunder. Buildings shook and demons shuddered in anticipation.

It was no secret that the only soul Lucifer would ever deem worthy of collecting himself was of John Constantine. No one really understood why but they knew enough to not ask questions. It is what it is, so without wasting any time, he donned on his human form and ascended to Earth.

With tar dripping down and hitting the linoleum floor, Lucifer made his grand appearance, not even bothering to hide his joy at seeing his beloved and damned exorcist, nearly lifeless on the floor due to the wounds on his arms.

"Hello, John. John, hello. You're the only soul I would come up here to collect myself."

Lucifer nodded vigorously and clapped his hands giddily, tapping his feet on the wet ground.

"So I've heard," was the tired reply.

As they continued with their little chit-chat, which was nothing more than foreplay to Satan, he allowed himself to relax and tease John with his cigarette lighter because nothing could stop him from collecting John's soul. But as he sat back in his seat, his mood dropped with a perturbing thought.

"I didn't think you'd make the same mistake twice," he said.

John answered by inhaling his coffin nail.

"And you didn't, did you." He nearly grimaced at the silent confirmation.

"So how's the family?"

"Family's doing just fine. Busy, busy, busy, busy. Need a vacation."

"Word is that kid of yours is a chip off the old block."

Lucifer's interest was piqued at the mention of his son, Mammon, who was also known as Avarice, one of the seven deadly sins.

"Well, one does what one can." He just shrugged it off until the next statement made warning bells ring in the back of his head.

"He's in the other room."

"Boys will be boys." He said masking his unease at what his heir was planning by toying his John's leg with his foot.

"With Gabriel."

Lucifer didn't have to pretend to be disgusted. Mammon and Gabriel together? Lucifer's mind drifted to the possible sexual connotation of that statement, though it was highly doubtful that that was the case. Lucifer personally had no problem with sodomy. Hell, he's been waiting for his turn with John for a long time now, but to hear of his son and Gabriel? Now that was just nasty.

"No accounting for taste, really."

"They have the Spear of Destiny."

Impossible! This had to be trick. He would be damned before he let himself be conned by Constantine. He was no lowly demon that would fall for such trickery but what if…? He hesitated.

"You've waited twenty years for me, Lu. What's another twenty seconds?"

Lucifer lunged towards John, tasting slight fear and death oozing off him in a delightful aroma that he caught with his tongue, and with the threat and promise of return, Lucifer quickly stood and made his way to the other room. He coldly examined the situation that lay before him, cursing that John was right and that his son was, in fact, trying to undermine his authority and prematurely release Hell on Earth. It would not do to be cast out twice from his position, and by his own son nonetheless. So as time began resuming to its normal pace, he removed the psychic that carried his son out of the way from under the Spear of Destiny and gazed at Gabriel's shocked face with amusement.

"Lucifer!"

"This world in mine – in time." He stated. "You - best of all of us – Gabriel, should understand…ambition." He hissed out the last word and held his squirming son tighter to him, feeling the despair roil off him in waves.

Gabriel visibly bristled at the Adversary that stood before him.

"Son of perdition. Little horn! Most unclean!"

Lucifer pictured John calling him those nicknames. He imagined bending John over this throne as he took him from behind and John screaming himself raw, spitting out insults and vile things at him such as his beautiful nicknames.

"I do miss the old names."

He shrugged off his fantasy and returned back to the present matters at hand.

"Time to go home son," He whispered into his son's ear, ignoring Gabriel and his threat of smiting him.

As Gabriel threw a punch, Lucifer met his fist with his bared teeth, mocking his effort and getting ready to bite the hand that dared attempt to challenge him. As the fist stopped short of its intended target, Lu looked around in mock-wonder and with a grin that spoke of his delight, he broke Gabriel down.

"Looks like somebody doesn't have your back any more."

Hell opened up beneath their feet and Mammon was sent back to his father's domain. The unholy winds blew up and scorched Gabriel's feathers. Without God's protection, Gabriel's wings quickly incinerated and the wind sent him flying into the pool behind him and causing the water to explode towards the Heavens that no longer supported the pool's inhabitant.

Dropping Angela, Lucifer turned away from the now fallen angel and made his way back to John, knowing that John would want a deal after he had just saved Earth and saved Lu's status as king of the underworld, though he would never admit that to anyone.

"So…" He dragged out, waiting for an indication of John's request.

"So…" John mimicked, tired from the blood loss.

"Yeah, what do you want? Extension?" Lucifer hissed, bitter at his predicament. John was so close to being a permanent resident of his happy, fiery home. So. Damn. Close. And now Lu would have to wait. Again.

"The sister…Isabelle…"

This was not what he was expecting.

"What about her?"

"Let her go home," was the soft command.

"You're willing to give up your life so she can go to Heaven?" asked Lucifer, anticipating the response but masking his eagerness for the answer with disgust at the word 'Heaven'.

John nodded softly and Lucifer closed his eyes and looked up for dramatic effect. He could not believe his luck. John Constantine, a damned and dying man was willing to give up his life to let a suicide join the deity that had rejected her. This was a request he was happy to make.

"Fine! It's done." He gave John a smile that would make the pope's hair curl and he moved the chair out of his path. It would just be rude to let the chair hit his favorite soul when he was dragging him to Hell. "Time to go, John."

"Yeah," John sucked in the last of the carcinogen that was left in his cigarette and put it out in a pool of his blood.

Lucifer reached down and grasped John's right arm, reveling at the feeling of the cold seeping through his dying body and at the warmth of his eternal and condemned soul. He tugged on his arm softly, almost gently like a lover coaxing his partner to follow him, and then proceeded to unceremoniously drag John behind him, whistling nonchalantly like someone hauling a bag of groceries instead of the Devil dragging a soul to his fiery kingdom.

Apart from Mammon's insolence, this night was redeeming itself and Lu felt like celebrating his victory. John's soul would not only tip the balance in his and God's little game, but he would also get to be with his soon-to-be mate forever without interference. He felt just as he did when he was the best of the Satans* in Heaven. He felt that old pride swell and a lightness fill his demonic self until something went horribly wrong. John was growing heavier as if something was weighing him down to prevent him from being taken by his rightful master. He tugged harder until John refused to budge and his joy turned to horror.

A light began to shine, blinding Lucifer in the process. No. No. Nononono! What the fuck was happening? His mind screamed in rage until realization hit him full force.

"The sacrifice…"

John slowly began to rise and head towards the light.

"No," Lucifer looked up into the white light with pure and utter hatred. "This one belongs to me."

He reached out, letting his hatred grow enough to suspend the burning he felt at being so close to Heaven. When he saw John giving him the finger, the black tattoos on his skin fed him enough darkness from Hell for him to swiftly reach out and roughly grab the redeemed man to prevent him ascending.

"No. You will live, John Constantine." He whispered hoarsely into John's ear while he ran he hand across John's face. Without warning, Lucifer ripped John's shirt open, exposing a smooth and toned chest that he would love to run his tongue across.

"You will live…" He plunged his hands into John's chest, causing him to scream out and grit his teeth at the painful intrusion.

Lucifer's hands made their way to John's blackened lungs and sought out all of the cancer that was killing the exorcist.

"…so you will have…"

John screamed louder. His pain was like music to Sammael's** ears.

"…the chance to prove…" with another thrust of his hands he gathered the rest of the tar from John's lungs, eliciting a loud grunt that turned into another scream and a flailing of his legs from the man impaled on his arms.

"…that your soul truly belongs in Hell." He violently ripped his hands out of his chest, watching as John hit the ground and got the breath knocked out of him.

"Oh, you will live." Lu's hands dripped black as he cradled the disease that had ravaged John's lungs. He breathed erratically from the rush of being so close to the light and taking Heaven's presence away from the man.

"You will live..." His words were whispered but still carried over to the prone figure lying motionless on the floor.

Lucifer stealthily returned back to his domain, bristling with rage at having his soul stolen from him. Soon enough John would slip up again. It was inevitable that John would do something to damn himself again and when that moment came, John would never get a third chance to get to Heaven and Lucifer would never be fooled into another sacrifice.

The winds of Hell picked up in velocity and demolished some crumbling buildings in response to their master's fury at the turn of events on Earth. Lucifer discarded his human form and returned back to his natural state, beautiful but terrifying. He sat upon his throne and watched at his demons before his feet, awaiting his command. Mammon was not too far away from the demons, knowing that there would be no escape from punishment from his father.

For the time being, he ignored them, allowing the sky to darken and the heat to blaze higher. He would wait. He would wait ten, twenty, even a thousand years for the newly saved man who was currently chewing a piece of gum as he watched the sun rise. He would watch and wait and he would get what belonged to him.

"You are mine, John Constantine."

*According to the Book of Numbers, "the satan" means adversary, obstructor, or accuser. For example, for the story of Job, one of God's servants called "a satan" suggested that Job be tested with torment and misery to see if he was still loyal. So basically "a satan" accused Job of not being able to remain loyal to God until Job proved him wrong. Sammael, who is interchangeable with Lucifer, depending on what biblical scriptures and writings you read, was the chief of the satans so when he and his followers fell, he adopted the name Satan, which is quite fitting since he is an adversary to God; he also accuses and he obstructs.

**Sammael is another name for Lucifer. See note above.

[This information I gained from A Field Guide to Demons, Fairies, Fallen Angels, And other subversive spirits by Carol K. Mack and Dinah Mack]