A/N: The delay is ridiculous, I'm sorry. Only a few chapters left, I'll try to get them out in the next few weeks. I'm sorry, again.

It was Evan who first approached her, nearly an hour later, after having given Rick a look that said she was fine. Hesitantly she stopped a few feet away from the woman on her knees, mourning her girlfriend silently. She knew there wasn't anything she could do to ease the pain and yet she didn't think it was right for her to sit out there alone in the cold.

"We've been together for nearly ten years." The voice came from out of nowhere and Evan was startled. "I met her when I was twenty. She was the one who helped me realize I was gay."

"I'm genuinely sorry," Evan said honestly.

There was a soft sob and then she got to her feet after pressing her lips to the dead woman's cold hand. "I'm Lindsey. Her name was Olive."

"My name is Evan." There was a silent pause as Lindsey turned towards her. "Is there no one else?"

Lindsey shook her head. "We've been keeping to ourselves, and we've been doing good. Until our car broke down."

"We can bury her tomorrow," Evan said, unsure of what else to say.

"No, I want you to burn her. It's winter and it'd be hard to dig a grave. It doesn't matter. Olive isn't there anymore; it's just her body now." Her voice trembled but she didn't cry again. Evan recognized the expression on her face; she was too tired to cry anymore.

A shiver ran through Evan. "Let's go inside. Get you something to eat." No one had said it, but to Evan there was no other possible outcome than for Lindsey to be allowed to stay.

Two hours later Olive's body had been burned behind the barn, out of sight, and Evan had with the help of Carol made lunch for all of them. Including Lindsey. Daryl had declined joining them, saying he wanted to make sure no walkers had followed the strangers there and Evan didn't protest. The meal was silent, with grief and suspicion being the two overpowering emotions surrounding them. Dale and Glenn seemed nothing but sympathetic to the new girl, but Rick and Carol seemed to dislike the idea of letting her stay. Something that infuriated Evan greatly. She did her best to strike up a conversation with Lindsey and was happy when the latter seemed eager for something to take her mind off of her great loss.

"I'm from Michigan," Lindsey replied, while picking at the food on her plate, mostly just pushing it around rather than actually eating it. "Olive was from Macon, we were there visiting her parents when everything happened, and since then we've been staying in Georgia. Figured there was no point in going anywhere else, if this was going to be waiting for us regardless of where we went."

"Sounds fair enough," Evan drawled. She threw a piercing glance towards Rick, daring him to join in the conversation but he turned his eyes away and focused solely on his food.

"Where are you from?" Lindsey asked.

"New York. Except I was born in London, but I don't remember ever living there. Came to Atlanta with my fiancé." Evan took another bite of the cooling vegetables on her plate and chewed carefully. "What did you do, you know, in the real world?"

"I'm a nurse," she replied. "Olive was a midwife." She let out a choked sob suddenly but attempted to cover it up with a cough. "And you?"

"Kindergarten teacher."

"Bet that was anything but boring."

"Oh, you said it," Evan said grinning.

The conversation continued on the same note, with Evan and Lindsey taking turn asking each other questions and with Dale and Glenn piping up every now and again. Rick and Carol both remained completely silent, and Evan's heart swelled when Carl decided to join in with the discussion too. Before Evan knew how it'd happened the kitchen had been cleaned up and emptied and the only two that remained were herself and Lindsey, engrossed in a deep conversation about music. As it turned out they had a lot in common, everything from their taste in music to their dislike for politics and comic books. Every now and again the brunette's eyes would glisten with grief but Evan saw how hard she was trying to fight it off and to not fall apart completely. It impressed Evan who couldn't understand how she was doing it. If she'd had to kill Rick then she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to stop crying.

With the conversation never faltering Evan soon got up, pulling Lindsey with her, showing her around the house, pointing and laughing. Evan had no idea what was happening with her, but it felt so right to have the woman there, and she enjoyed having someone around who was only slightly older than her. There had been such a reservation radiating from her at first but when she pushed that away a sociable and inviting side came out instead. The hours of the afternoon passed quickly and dinner came and went, with the same conversation between the two women and with the others only joining in occasionally or sullenly staring (Rick, Carol and Daryl). Afterwards Lindsey asked if there was anywhere she could rest and Evan was struck by how little room they had. Glenn had moved into Dale's room on the last tattered mattress from the attic. And with Daryl on the couch they didn't have anywhere to put her, unless they went out to find something else. When Evan voiced this Lindsey quickly said that she wouldn't mind sleeping on the floor. She and Olive had spent the past five nights in their car, the floor was an upgrade and with a hot shower being available in the morning she said it was like a first class hotel. So while Carol and the others cleaned up the kitchen Evan gathered as many blankets and pillows that she could find and brought them to the upstairs hallway. There Lindsey would get the most privacy without running the risk of being trampled by hurrying feet.

Evan didn't get a chance to speak to Rick until very late that night, after everyone had excused themselves to either go to bed or keep watch (Dale), but as soon as they were alone in their room Rick exploded, catching Evan completely off guard.

"We haven't even decided that she can stay and you're offering her somewhere to sleep and food and then you ask her a million questions about herself!" he ranted angrily, marching back and forth while she stood frozen with her mouth wide open. "She's a stranger and only hours ago you were freaking out and looking like you were completely coming apart at the seams because of them and now this?"

She held her hands up, defensively. "She's all alone, Rick. She has no one else and she had to shoot her girlfriend in the head today to stop her from becoming a walker. I think we can cut her some fucking slack."

"We don't know who she is," he argued.

"You know what, maybe you're right," she said finally. "Maybe she's intending to murder us all in our sleep, but I'm willing to take that chance. I can't allow you to turn her away."

"Have you already forgotten what happened the last time we allowed strangers to stay?"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "No, I haven't," she said through gritted teeth.

An awkward silence engulfed them and Evan ran a hand through her hair, sighing deeply.

"I have to keep you safe. I have to keep Carl and the others safe."

"And I respect that. I appreciate that. God, I fucking love that. But we need to keep our humanity. She's one girl. One person. And yes I've been chattering to her about every single fucking thing I could think of today, it probably seemed really strange, but I was just trying to take her mind off of what she'd done earlier today." Evan reached for him when he stopped moving and seized his arms sharply. "What if it was me? What if I was bitten and you had to shoot me. Wouldn't you be crushed?"

He looked like he'd been hit with a sledgehammer at the mere thought of it. "I would die," he said flatly.

"And if someone could help you ease that pain, regardless of how pointless or stupid or shallow it was – wouldn't you want them to?" Her grip on his arms softened as did her voice. "I can't even imagine how much pain she's in, but I know that she made a promise to Olive and is fighting as hard as she fucking can to keep it."

"What?"

She sighed. "They promised each other that if the other ever got bitten they'd shoot them before they turned, and then they would stay alive at any cost and they wouldn't shatter. They wouldn't break down. They'd stay strong." Evan reached for Rick's cheek, placing her hands on each of them, stroking his unshaved skin slowly. "I'm trying to help her keep that promise because I can't even for a second understand how hard it must be."

Silence. Rick looked like he wanted to say something but didn't know how to phrase it.

"That's why she was smiling. And laughing. And chatting." Evan moved closer to him, until their bodies were only inches apart. "I want you to keep us safe but I also want you to stay human. Please, please understand why I can't let Lindsey leave."

It was his turn to let out a frustrated sigh. "Please understand the position I'm in."

"I do." She shifted. "I do."

Another pause. It was clear that she wasn't going to back down, no matter what. She'd already made a place for Lindsey in her heart and she couldn't stand the thought of seeing her go. Mostly because she saw so much of herself in the woman and because she could relate to the pain she felt. When Rick had been missing she'd felt an indescribable pain, but at least she hadn't ever gotten it confirmed that he was dead. For Evan there had always been the tiniest sliver of hope; Lindsey had no hope. Olive was dead. Period.

Before Rick could say anything else there was a soft knock on the door. With one eyebrow raised he opened it and outside stood Daryl.

"I've asked the others to join me in the kitchen, so we can talk about our new guest," he said flatly. "Are you coming?"

Rick threw a glance towards Evan who nodded. "We'll be right there."

A few seconds passed after Daryl had disappeared. "I guess it's for the best that we all talk about it anyway," Evan admitted.

She walked with Rick towards the meeting they'd have in the kitchen, one it seemed they'd had too many times before about this and that. When they arrived they sat down and no one wasted any time. Everyone knew why they were there and that they had to decide. Immediately Dale and Glenn advocated for letting Lindsey stay, and Evan agreed strongly. Daryl disagreed, his face cold and determined. Carol too seemed hesitant to letting the stranger stay and then all eyes turned towards Rick. He let out a tired sigh.

"She's just one person, and we can make sure not to give her a weapon until we trust her." Daryl scowled at his words, but Rick didn't falter. "We can't turn her away. And we might need someone else. We've lost too many people already."

As soon as Rick had spoken his mind everyone knew that it was decided. Daryl still looked very displeased but Evan knew he respected their leader enough to not argue or make a big deal out of it. He'd grumble for a few days but then calm down and accept what was. Carol only looked worried while Glenn and Dale smiled widely. Evan didn't feel like smiling, even though she was happy with the decision they'd made. She felt guilty for almost forcing Rick to change his mind. That's not what she had wanted to do, she didn't want to guilt him into letting Lindsey stay, but she hadn't been able to accept the alternative either.

"Let's just go to bed," Rick said next, rising to his feet. "I'll be right in," he said to Evan, "I'm just going to go upstairs and check on Carl."

Evan nodded while the others started taking their leave. Although he obviously didn't feel the same level of trust for the newcomer as she did, it was obvious that he also didn't really believe that she intended to kill them all as they slept. Otherwise he wouldn't have allowed her to sleep upstairs in the hallway, in the corner opposite of Carl's room. When Evan was alone again she headed back towards their room, exhausted beyond imagination and definitely ready to fall asleep. Then she remembered something, and thought after thought came creeping into her mind as she threw herself on the bed, tugging the covers over her form. Questions and statements all soared through her mind and they hadn't silenced when Rick returned, joining her in the bed. Although she could sense that he was distant she didn't allow it and immediately crawled closer to him, tucking herself into his embrace.

"You know what I just realized," she mumbled into the side of his neck where she'd planted her face.

"That I love you so much I'll do anything you say even if I don't agree?" he asked bitterly and she felt a sharp sting to her heart.

"You know what, never mind." She released her grip on him and turned away. She knew she hadn't been exactly fair earlier, but his tone had struck a nerve and she hated how callous he sounded.

When he didn't stop her or move after her she felt despair reaching for her with its claws and she couldn't fight it off. She hadn't wanted for the two of them to argue, she just didn't want them to turn an innocent person away to die. The same reasoning applied now as it had when Evan was given the chance to stay. She couldn't fathom how he couldn't see how similar the two situations were. Evan had lost everyone, and the moment that Lindsey shot her girlfriend she had too. Although she knew that he only wanted to protect her and his son, when Evan had joined the group he'd wanted to keep Lori and Carl safe – the situation really wasn't very different all. That was another reason why Evan couldn't stand the thought of Lindsey being forced to leave. It reminded her too much of what Shane would have done if he'd still been there.

She could hear his heavy breathing, but it was still too uneven for him to be asleep. It angered her that they were lying on the same bed, so close, and that the day had gone to hell for no real reason. It was simply impossible for Evan to understand why he was making such a big deal out of it. She hadn't been the only one who wanted Lindsey to be allowed to stay. When angry tears started burning behind her eyes she tried to bite them back, but soon they forced her to let out a sob as the first one rolled slowly from her eye, down over the bridge of her nose.

"Are you crying?"

The question was so stupid she wanted to kick him in the shins. Maybe she was just being overdramatic, but the entire situation felt so ridiculous and he was being so unreasonable. Instead of answering she ignored him, pulling her legs up towards her chest, letting another sob rip through her body. That morning she'd been so fucking happy – okay, aside from the vomiting – and now they were fighting again. Maybe it would be for the best if she wasn't pregnant since they couldn't seem to keep it together.

"Evan, please answer me." This time when he spoke his voice was a lot softer and seconds later she felt him shift. "I'm sorry." He wrapped his arms around her from behind, resting his face in the crook of her neck.

"I can't help but see myself in her," she finally admitted. "And it makes me angry that you want to turn her away as easily as that. It makes me wonder why you didn't just turn me away too, when I was first brought to you guys. It would have been so much less complicated if you'd just told them to throw me face first back into the forest."

Her words weren't fair, she knew that, and her words seemed to throw him off his game completely. He said nothing and neither did she. For a long moment he just held her in complete silence.

"I'm sorry," she said at last, turning around to face him. "I don't know why I feel so strongly about this."

"I'm the one who should be sorry. What I said earlier was uncalled for and unfair." He stroked her cheek carefully with the back of his knuckles. "She can stay, and I won't say things like that anymore. I promise."

Without replying she pressed her lips firmly against his. When she broke it a few feverish kisses later she remembered what she had been about to say before the argument broke out.

"Hey, if I turn out to be pregnant, it could be really good to have a nurse around."

A smile tugged at his lips. "I guess that's true."

"I love you, Rick," she told him gently, realizing that she'd have to sleep soon unless she wanted to pass out. But she wanted to make sure that there was no bitterness between them at all before she closed her eyes.

"I love you too, Evan."