Once upon a midnight dreary, Gil and his friend Chris went to Gamestop to buy some Sega Saturn games. However, for some reason the guy behind the counter just laughed at us when they asked him where the Saturn games were. So they went to Game X-Change instead to look for Saturn games, and surprisingly enough, they had them.

They browsed the isle until they eventually came across a copy of Sonic R. Gil in no way had fond memories of playing that game. Though he thought that maybe he could copy someone's walkthrough of it and put the footage on YouTube to make some partnership money. Chris and Gil approached the counter and the moment they laid the game on the counter, the clerk looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Just take it, it's yours," the clerk said morbidly. Chris took this as a random act of kindness and before Gil could question why he gave them the game for free, Chris grabbed his hand and rushed out of the store with the game. The moment after they left, the manager of the store came out from the back room.

"Is that piece of shit off the shelves?" The manager asked.

"Yeah, it's gone," said the clerk.

"Good, that game is worthless," said the manager, "now to get rid of those three copies of Bubsy 3D."

Chris and Gil got home and started up the game. The first thing they saw was the title screen, but Tails was holding the decapitated heads of Sonic and Knuckles.

"Ugh," said Chris in a frustrated voice, "this game is a glitchy hack…oh well, it's free anyway." Gil however, knew deep down that the game was haunted…and that Chris was a total dumbass.

Chris started the first race and noticed that the track was red and black; the colors of evil. Not only that, but the music was playing backwards.

"Dude," said Gil, "you do realize this game is haunted, right?"

"Nah," said Chris, "you've just been watching too many horror movies."

"Oh yeah, then why did you just unlock Super Sonic, and why does he have no eyeballs and a slit throat?"

"Holy shit! I unlocked Super Sonic already! YAHOO!"

"You did half a lap and just started playing the game. How stupid are you, Chris?"

"Don't be such a sourpuss, Gil."

So Chris played as Super Sonic for about twenty seconds while dead bunnies rained from the sky in the game. After that, a message popped up saying he unlocked the Tails Doll and something called "The Tails Doll Curse." The "Curse" was an added option in the main menu.

Chris was excited again; he loved unlocking characters and secrets in video games, no matter how demonic they are.

"You're gonna select that curse, aren't you?" Gil asked, rolling his eyes. Chris didn't even respond, he just selected the curse. Suddenly, the television started to violently shake. Chris started freaking out and grabbed a sledgehammer from under the couch. He pummeled the television into powder as Gil looked at him with astonishment…at how stupid he was.

"Great job asshole," said Gil, "You possessed my TV AND broke it too."

"What was I supposed to do?" Chris said.

"TURN THE DAMN THING OFF?!" Gil asked. "And why on God's green earth do you keep a sledgehammer under my couch?"

"You never know when you need a sledgehammer," said Chris.

Just at that moment, the doorbell rang. Chris went to answer it, thinking it was someone giving out free pizza to go with their free game. Chris opened the door but nobody was there, so he closed it. Then it rang again, but nobody was still there. Meanwhile, Gil ran upstairs to grab some holy water from his mother's cabinet.

"CHRIS!" Gil screamed before he ran downstairs to see Chris still trying to catch whatever was ringing the doorbell. "Did you piss in my holy water jar?"

"Hey, it's not my fault you took ten minutes to take a dump," Chris said before the doorbell rang again. This time, Gil opened it to find…a bloody Tails Doll plushie.

"Yay!" Chris screamed, taking the doll into the house where it could easily endanger them, "free toys!"

"What the…DO YOU STILL NOT REALIZE WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" Gill said, genuinely pissed off at Chris's ineptitude.

"Uh, duh," said Chris, "first your shitty TV broke and now you're getting mad at free toys."

"MY TV Broke!?"

"You're TV sucked so bad it started shaking. Did you forget or something?!"

"MY TV WAS JUST FINE UNTIL YOU BROKE IT WITH THAT SLEDGEHAMMER!"

All of a sudden, the Tails Doll came to life and started attacking Gil. And this plushie put up one hell of a fight!

"CHRIS!" Gil shouted, "DO SOMETHING."

"Hang on a second," said Chris, "I gotta run across the street and grab some weapons." Chris then ran across the street while Gil was being attacked by the small yellow fox doll. After about a minute, Chris came back with a backpack full of everything he could find in his house. First he took out his baseball bat and tried swinging it at the Tails Doll, but he hit Gil in the head and broke it by accident.

"OUCH!" Gil shouted, "WRONG GUY, ASS FACE!"

Chris then took out a knife from his kitchen and swung it at the Tails Doll, only to miss and stab Gil in the thigh instead.

"AHHHH!" Gil screamed, "WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO AIM?!"

Chris then shrugged and took out a long sword. Just as he was about to swing it, Gil shouted in protest.

"Um…let's try something that WON'T cut me up!" At this point, Gil just wanted the Tails Doll to kill him so he wouldn't have to deal with Noah's stupidity.

To Gil's complete amazement, Chris took out a rocket launcher from his backpack and aimed it at the Tails Doll. Needless to say he blew up not only himself and Gil, but the entire house as well.

Later that day when the Police examined the explosion scene, they were completely stupefied.

"Wow, this guy must have sucked at aiming," said the officer, "the only thing we could find in the rubble was this crappy doll. He should have blown this cheap thing up instead."