The strange, sluggish movements of the swirls and paintings made my head whirl and I clamped my mouth shut, willing my stomach to calm the shit down. There was no love lost between me and vomiting.

Wait. Frowning, I looked down at myself, growing more and more confused as I observed my jean-clad, hoodie-wearing body. That was odd. I swear I just got hit by a bus... shouldn't there be blood and pain and stuff like that? I felt just fine.

Deciding that my body wasn't going to be offering answers anytime soon, I looked around, blinking at the exceedingly unusual sight that greeted my eyes.

Paintings framed in everything from gold to what seemed to be crayons floated around aimlessly, while a blank nothingness in the form of dark red and black with the occasional streak of gold swirling around almost lazily. Glancing downward again, I realized I was floating in space as well.

"That's new," I muttered, inspecting my surroundings. I probably should have been more surprised by this, but if you'd lived for nineteen years with a family like mine, nothing short of a man walking on water shocks you.

"Indeed, it is." A new voice, smooth and slightly accented, spoke up from behind me. Twisting my head to look over my shoulder, I found myself gazing at a shamelessly beautiful woman smiling at me.

She had dark blonde hair pulled into a loose fishtail braid (I never did get the hang of it) and arching brows, high cheekbones and piercing blue eyes bordering on silver. Full red lips with a tiny mole to the right, and light bronze skin, she looked awfully gorgeous. Her killer figure, outlined by the long, navy grecian dress didn't help my self-esteem any.

"... Right. Who're you again?" Squinting at her, I racked my brain to try and recall if I'd met the woman before. Though I doubted it; she was too pretty to forget.

The mystery woman shrugged. "We've never met before," she informed me. I nodded slowly, taken aback. Whoa, mind-reader much? "My name... well, you can just call me Aella for now."

"Pleasure to meet you... I s'pose." I looked around us again. "I'd tell you my name, but I'm not quite sure what it is. Maybe it's because of amnesia? But anyway, do you know where we are? Doesn't look like New Jersey to me."

Aella looked mildly surprised. "You remember things from your past life?"

Raising my eyebrows, I turned back to her. "Well, obviously. And what do you mean, past life? You make it sound like I'm... dead..." It finally dawned on me. "Oh, hell. I'm dead, aren't I?"

"Quite, yes," she said regretfully, nodding. "You were hit by a bus. The driver lost control due to the ice on the road."

Ah... I remembered. "It snowed a lot in Westbrooke."

She studied me carefully, eyes boring into me almost uncomfortably. "... I expected more of a negative reaction out of you. Normally, people cry or deny that they're now deceased."

"Well, I'm feeling strangely apathetic," I said dryly. "Besides, being hit by a bus and dying sounds far more painless than being stabbed to death by a crazy ex in a shower or something. It's not like I can up and decide I'm going to live again anyways." I looked at her. "So, are you my guide to the afterlife? I hope there's a place for people who just lived in the gray zone like me, 'cause I doubt I'm heaven material, but not hell either."

Aella smiled at me ruefully. "I'm afraid not in that manner," she said. "You see, you've been chosen to enter a world where your presence is needed. They've decided that you'd be the best candidate for the job, and now that I've met you, I think they made a good choice with you."

"... Mind clarifying that for me?"

"Absolutely." She drifted past me and I got the feeling I ought to follow. While we were... floating along, she started speaking. "By the way, your name is - or was - Heidi Antoinette Livington. You despised your first name and preferred that others call you 'Toni,' derived from your middle name. You died when you were returning from giving your little sister a ride to the mall."

"Stupid Cassie," I muttered blandly. "Alright, sure, but what was that bit about entering a world that needed me? Still hung up on that, sorry."

Aella's lips twitched. "Very well. Have you ever heard of the Harry Potter series, Heidi?"

"It's Toni," I corrected absently. "And yes, actually - I was a fan. Read the entire thing a hundred times over, obsessed over the movies til the bitter end. Why do you ask?"

"You will be entering the world portrayed in the books." Calmly, as if she hadn't just said the most ridiculous thing on Earth, she plowed on. "Well, actually, many years before the adventures of Harry Potter ever begin. You will be born as the younger sister of James Potter, Harry's father."

Stopping dead in my tracks, I held my hands up in the universal sign for stop. "Whoa, okay, let's get this straight. I'm dead."

"Yes."

"And I'm being reborn into a fictional world."

"Precisely."

"... As the younger sister of Harry's dad."

"I'm glad you understand."

"… I do wish you'd make sense."

"Why, I believe I'm being perfectly sensible at the moment."

Scoffing, I crossed my arms across my chest. "Nice try. No. First of all, there is no little sister of James Potter in the series whatsoever. I can't just... pop in there like a retard. It'd mess up the entire storyline!"

"Actually, yes, you can," she interrupted smoothly. "You'd be born as the character, so everyone would naturally accept your presence. You won't magically appear in your nineteen year old state in the middle of the Great Hall, obviously. And as for the storyline..." She peered at me with analytical blue orbs. "Are you willing to allow the deaths of so many great people and therefore lead Harry to a life of suffering and abuse because you wanted to preserve the plot of a page-turner?"

Well, if you put it that way... Grumbling, I uncrossed my arms and sighed. "Alright, fine, you win. But what am I supposed to do, kill Voldemort or something? Or, no, should I reveal the secrets of the entire series and save the world?"

"Don't be ridiculous," Aella said airily. "Of course not. Don't worry, you'll just live your new life as you would any other, and subtly change a few things along the way. I'll be guiding you when you need my assistance."

I snorted. "Oh, really? And how will you do that, I wonder? Are you going to be residing inside my head?"

The silence on her end was unnerving. "Oh. Oh bloody mothertripping hell, no. You can't actually be serious!"

"Language," she reproached casually. "And yes, I am absolutely serious. From time to time you'll hear my voice within your head." She paused and looked me over. "You seem to be far more emotional than you were a few minutes ago."

"I was just told that I'm going to have a voice inside my head," I snapped. "Of course I'd be more emotional. What did you think I'd do, nod dumbly and say okay to everything?"

Her silence once again spoke volumes. I buried my face in my hands. "Just, okay, just, no. No. This is madness. What the hell am a person like me supposed to do -"

"Well, would you look at the time!" Aella exclaimed, looking up. I saw nothing, but she apparently did, because she grabbed my arm and we were flashing past more paintings at the speed of light. In a matter of seconds, we were standing in front of a beautifully crafted door, framed by gilded metal ivy with gleaming silver flowers, jewels embedded along the edges. "Have fun, Heidi, and we'll speak again. Later!"

"My name's Toni, damn you!"

She shoved me through the door, which had magically opened to reveal a gaping black hole, and I was screaming as I fell, eyes catching a glimpse of Aella cheerfully waving before I was tumbling, head over heels.

Alice in Wonderland had nothing on me, bitches.